Postpartum Care Thread

[monarch64]

Please post your tips, tricks, and advice here for dealing with postpartum issues including physical, mental, and emotional well-being for mommies!

Note: I am speaking from the p.o.v. of having a vaginal delivery. Please PLEASE chime in with c-section comforts and cures as well!

I just delivered our first one week ago tonight and realized how unprepared I was for recovery! I had read lots and lots about pregnancy and birth, but kind of didn't prepare myself for what was to come after regarding the healing process, etc. Some of my must haves I wanted to share are:

Ice pads: pour witch hazel onto a sanitary pad (without wings), cut into thirds, wrap each third in gauze and freeze. Makes a wonderful soother for the business end of things once you get home and are healing. The nurses in my hospital brought me these upon request whenever I wanted and they were such a godsend.

Witch hazel pads: think hemorrhoid pads, i.e Tucks. Helps all parts down there!

Dermaplast spray: contains aloe, lanolin, and menthol, sprays upside down, gives a bit of cooling relief to your parts that feel like they're on fire. My nurses advised me not to use more than 4x a day but I haven't read that anywhere...seriously great stuff.

Once home, let yourself "air out" once or twice a day! Keeping a pad on all the time is no bueno! Take everything off and hang out in the breeze so your parts can have a break. Also, after showering or cleansing, break out the blow dryer and make sure your business is dry! (Do not use the hot setting! Warm is most helpful!)

Get one of those doughnut things to sit on. You will have lots of visitors (if you choose to let them in) and sitting is hard for the first few days! However, don't sit on the doughnut or upright for too long; I overdid it the third day and really paid for it the fourth which actually prompted me to start this thread!

Let your partner do EVERYTHING. Call in reinforcements. Take full advantage of this time to rest, rest, rest. Aside from taking care of your baby (or babies! in the case of multiples!) you need to assume no other responsibilities! I was up trying to water the garden, take the dog out, do laundry, etc. while my mother and husband ran to the store for me...big mistake. Never been so sore in my life the day after! Just take it easy!

 

[mayerling]

Excellent post, monarch!

 

[sugarpie honeybun]

Great thread, Monarch and congrats! I was totally unprepared after having my first. I gave birth vaginally and the recovery period was much more difficult than I had anticipated. I think I've blocked out most of that experience, because I can't remember much...BUT, I will definitely add to this thread after I have Baby #2 in a few weeks!

One note I would like to add - I came down with a severe case of mastitis after the first few weeks after having baby #1. I just assumed the extreme pain was par for the course, and ignored it. I also spiked a very high fever due to the infection, and was so focused on breasfeeding through the pain of mastitis, and didn't realize I had such a high temp. I attributed my walking around in a haze to be from sleep deprivation. Well, come to find out, the mastitis had turned into sepsis and I had to be hospitalized. Not putting this out here to scare anyone (promise!), it's just very important to not to lose sight of your own health and well-being - both physically and emotionally, after having a new baby.



Sugarpie
36 wks baby #2

 

[bobbin]

My postpartum recovery was fairly easy. I had a vaginal delivery.

I had a 2nd degree tear and that did cause some discomfort. I was given a suppository pain relief after they stitched me up and that was the only pain relief I needed for that. I did have ice packs available to me at the hospital. I only needed to use about one a day to give some relief. I didn't use them once I got home. I found that sitting in any one position for too long made me sore but as long as I kept shifting around I was fine. I sat on a soft pillow whenever I was sitting down. I have heard that the doughnut things can direct more blood down there which can eventually cause more pain, which is probably why Monnie was paying for it after using it for too long!

I had afterpains whenever I breastfed while I was in hospital. These were like strong AF cramps and had me writhing around in discomfort until I worked out I could take pain relief before I fed to ease it.

I was expecting to bleed heavily, having read about women needing the surfboard pads and soaking through them in an hour etc. My bleeding was little more than a light period. I was concerned about that - thinking I wasn't bleeding enough! But apparently that is normal too. Some women will bleed a lot, others won't.

What I think is important to talk about is breastfeeding. Breastfeeding was really important to me, it was covered in one of my antenatal classes, I did another dedicated breastfeeding class, read up as much as I could; in general did as much as I could to prepare. Well, DD had different ideas. From breast refusal to not latching properly we had a bit of difficulty establishing breastfeeding. She was exclusively bottlefed with EBM for about a week and a half, and then we were using nipple shields and bottles for another week or so. It wasn't until she was about 4.5 weeks old that she 'got' how to breastfeed. For the first few weeks I felt guilty about giving her bottles, feeling like a bit of a failure because I couldn't breastfeed her properly, and felt like I was the only woman in the world this was happening to. It was really upsetting. So, basically this rambling is to say that breastfeeding is HARD. Sometimes babies take a few weeks to be able to feed, no matter how prepared you are. Sometimes there are other difficulties, for example low supply. But you are not alone! So many women have difficulty establishing breastfeeding. Keep faith, seek help from the resources in your area and know that whatever happens you are doing a great job and it is not your fault.

Also - a physical recovery aspect to breastfeeding - my nipples were damaged by DD in the beginning and I had sore nipples for a while. I found the hydrogel breast pads a godsend! They are cooling and provide a bit of relief. I alternated that with using lanolin occasionally. But you can't use both at the same time. FWIW, everyone says that breastfeeding should not EVER hurt if your baby is attached correctly. That wasn't the case for me. I had a kind of pulling, achey pain when she was attached correctly. I also had pinching pain when she wasn't attached correctly. I am finally not experiencing any pain at 6 weeks!

And lastly a bit of TMI/embarrassing issue. I had a fairly long labour and it really did a number on my pelvic floor. My pelvic floor muscles are quite weak and I have been leaking wee after using the toilet. This is common and you just need to strengthen the muscles again. I have been making a real effort to do several lots of pelvic floor exercises a day and I am going to start seeing a physio this week after my 6 week checkup.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Don't beat yourself up if things don't go as planned. You don't know how you will react to labor/delivery until you are there and every labor/delivery is different just like every pregnancy is different. Also don't feel guilt over decisions that you make for your new family. Just do what's best for you and don't worry what others think.

I would also add that if you have the baby blues for more than a few days after the baby comes to get help. There's no need to be embarassed and there are short-term treatments that will make you feel so much better.

 

[Newjewels]

Don't forget the sitz bath!

Great comments about the BF, I second that it was HARD initially (even with my second). Nurses always told me baby had a good latch, but it still hurt very badly for the first several weeks. I also found relief from the Medela gel pads...reusable, can rinse with water and put in fridge for more cooling while feeding, then replace when done. LC suggested to express some milk onto nipple and allow to dry (the magic all healing antiinflammatory powers of BM), then apply the gel pads. It took us more like 8-10 weeks to really get the hang of things. Had oversupply with my first (nightmare) and my second was a lazy nurser in the beginning and didn't want to eat well in early days. Stuck with it and was able to EBF both babies. Found lots of good info at kellymom.com too.

Congrats to all the new mommas and good luck!!

 

[pancake]

I had a vaginal delivery with episiotomy and forceps. It was all pretty untraumatic for me and I actually had a really good recovery, for which my tips would be:

- Ice packs, as others have said! I only used them for the 4 nights I was in hospital but by using them regularly I had minimal swelling by the time I went home. The suggestion that the midwives gave me for DIY ice packs at home was to freeze water in a condom (!) and then make a slit in a maternity pad, slip the frozen "pack" inside, and good to go - the pad would mean there was no wetness/mess down there, and it provided a soft, dry covering.

- Good pain relief. I took diclofenac and paracetamol regularly for the first few days and along with the ice this kept me comfortable.

- Pregnancy pilates. I had full bladder control pretty much immediately after delivering, despite pregnancy, being fully dilated for over an hour before being allowed to push, and forceps. I am sure that pilates helped with this. I did it from about 12 weeks onwards.

- Delegating! My husband was home for 2 weeks after the birth and whilst I didn't lie down as much as the physios told us to, I came pretty close. Their principle of "Don't stand if you can sit, don't sit if you can lie down" was spot on!

- Accept all the help that is offered to you. People brought us food, my mother or MIL would come over each day so that I could nap in the afternoon, I had help with cooking and hanging out washing, etc. I didn't feel that I "needed" it at the time (apart from the naps for the first few weeks) but in hindsight it was invaluable.

- Know what resources are available to you. Whether this is about breastfeeding, baby worries, you worries - make sure you know what's at hand. For me, the hotline of our local breastfeeding association was great - we didn't really have any problems with BFing but they were invaluable in reassuring me in the early days of engorgement, and then not-so-early days of oversupply.

 

[lliang_chi]

I second Bobbin's comment on breast feeding. It is hard. If it's really important, give it a go for 6 wks. It took DS 5 wks to finally start latching (with a nipple shield) and 6 wks (regular). Also I kept offering him the breast but only twice, maybe 3 times, before he started getting frustrated. It's important to try, but don't KEEP TRYING in feeding if it's not going well. Newborns eat a lot, so you'll have plenty of chances to try. Also after 2 wks, try switching up your feeding method. Be it new bottles, new way of holding him etc.

Also related to BFing... nursing strikes. They exist. It's hard not to take it personally, but every day is a new day. Keep trying and eventually it might come back to the boob. I've had one last 1.5 wks.

C-section recovery: walk around ASAP, once you get your catheter out. It helps with the gas. And take the coalace/stool softner. Typically the narcotic pain med they give you in the hospital will slow down your digestive tract (mine was at a stand still). That first poop makes you feel immensely better.

Baby blues: It happens. Feel free to tell you partner, "I'm feeling blue today." It's important that you don't feel like you're in this alone.

Also re: the pain relief/drugs in the hospital. Dude, just take it if you need it. THere's no point trying to be all "bite on a stick" about it. If you need the drugs take it. The uterine cramping can get REALLY BAD (audible gasp bad), so take the ibuprofren and/or narcotic if you need.

 

[Puppmom]

- breastfeeding is a full time job. Expect A LOT from your husband but do cut him slack. This is new to him too. If you need something, tell him.
- when your milk comes in, your breasts hurt (at least mine did). ice packs and warm wash clothes help a lot. Don't overdo it with the warm clothes though because they stimulate milk production and that makes the engorgement worse.
- walk in little spurts. For about a week or so after I delivered, I would get pooped quickly. So, do get out but don't walk too far from the house.
- your abs will be shot. I could literally push my hand into the gap between my ab muscles. This made standing up without holding onto something pretty difficult at first.
- EAT! Don't worry about your figure or fitting back into your jeans. Eat! You will feel like crap if you don't - especially if you're nursing.
- decide whether or not you want visitors and don't feel guilty if you don't. Make your husband handle turning people away.
- i had a vaginal delivery and the way I cared for my stitches was by using an overnight pad and laying three hemorrhoid pads on it.
- Shower every day if you can. It really did a lot for my spirits.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I had a 2nd degree tear and got stitched up without anesthesia. Ouch. Due to a series of unfortunate events, I then walked what totaled to 3 or 4 miles, if not more, a few days after birth and ended up walking out a couple of stitches, which then healed improperly. I now have issues down there and wish that I had just been able to rest and take it easy right after birth.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I wish this thread had been around three months ago when I had my second. My first delivery was a c-section and my second was a VBAC, so I didn't know what to expect! Both deliveries definitely had their own recovery issues and tricks.

C-Section, ditto what has been said:
*Walk around as soon as possible after birth
*Try to strengthen your leg muscles before birth as you will need these to compensate for your abs
*Take a stool softener
*Try not to laugh

My bleeding was lighter and lasted less time with the c-section.

Vaginal delivery, again ditto:
*Sitz bath with postpartum herb pack
*Ice pack pad
*Tucks pads
*Steroid foam thing if you have a tear (I had a second degree tear)

My bleeding lasted longer with the vaginal delivery. I was fully mobile more quickly after the vaginal delivery, though the first two or three days I was sore and needed to sit (gingerly) a lot.

TMI probably, but after the c-section, I was very dry/tight and had very little libido until I weaned my daughter at one year. After the VBAC, things are looser obviously, but in my case that's a good thing. Also, I can tell that my sense of when I need to urinate has been dulled, but not in a bad way because I'm not leaking or anything. I can just go longer in the car without having to stop!

 

[Skippy123]

Great post Monnie. Since my boys were the hospital I didn't take very good care of myself spending 10 hour days looking after them in the NICU and I got a wiked Yeast infection from the pads/moisture. That is an excellent idea about using the dryer and airing out as often as possible. I wish there was a thread like this back in the day. great info!!!

 

[monarch64]

Skippy, I don't know why no one's ever posted a thread on this yet! I was so alarmed to find out what a process recovery was, I couldn't believe no one talks about it.

As for anything people feel is "TMI," please don't hesitate to talk about it here. I wish people didn't feel like things were TMI so women had easy access to this kind of information (besides just Google) and support. Being all hush-hush about it just doesn't make any sense to me. I would be willing to bet that fewer women would suffer from the baby blues (not talking about the more serious PPD, just the blues that comes along with recovery) if they knew what to expect and how to deal with taking care of themselves physically (and I am talking about VAGINAS, PERINEUMS, AND ANUSES ZOMG!)

I am about 9 days out from delivery and just now starting to feel somewhat more normal. I just put on a pair of jeans (still maternity, but at least ones I wore in the 2nd tri!) TODAY. I probably won't wear them for more than two hours but it feels good to have regular clothes on!

 

[swingirl]

After my C-section I did a lot of nursing laying on my side. I also positioned the baby with its head at the breast and feet towards my back to keep the weight off my belly.

Also, when ever I got ready for a feeding I grabbed a glass of water AND baby pictures before I sat down with my baby. Seriously, looking a baby photos helps you relax and get the milk going. It's like when you see another baby you can start producing milk even if you are no where near your own.

The more rest you get, the sooner you will stop bleeding, too. So try not to lift a finger that's not necessary for the baby. No housework. Eat and drink often. Once you heal you'll be able to catch up on the dust bunnies.

Okay, one more thing I learned. If you have hemorroids that are outside, I was told to push them back in. This may be old school, I don't know. But it helped me. You have to keep at it until they stay inside and are not engorged.

 

[Shoopy]

Everyone pretty much covered what I would have suggested.

The only other thing I'll add is to make sure you have a bowel movement as soon as you can. Don't wait or put it off out of fear, especially if you have tears. The longer you wait the worse it is. Stock up on prune juice if you have to. I would laugh but really just try to poop as soon as possible.

 

[pancake]

I forgot to say in my earlier post - don't bring nice undies to the hospital. What you need is granny pants. Big and loose!

 

[mayerling]

This might be a silly question, but are stool softeners the same as laxatives?

 

[monarch64]

Not a silly question! Stool softeners are different from laxatives. They are a way more gentle way of keeping your stool softened so you do not end up constipated and unable to poop. Laxatives are more aggressive; even the gentle, overnight versions usually make you crampy and loose and basically unhappy because you may be stuck in the bathroom for quite some time, or just off and on throughout the day or night until your bowels are empty.

I can talk about poop all you want; my dad and grandfather both had colon cancer and I have seen and dealt with everything.

The first poop postpartum is a total bitch, not gonna lie, but like fiery mentioned up thread, ya shouldnt put it off out of fear that you will break yourself. This is why stool softeners in the hospital are in order...makes things come out easier. It is a scary process, IMO scarier than birth itself, but you gotta get it done.Et

Eta: again I am not a health pro so just know that I am giving random consumer knowledge based on experience, not actual medical facts...those can be obtained from your doctor or possibly reputable Internet sources.

 

[Puppmom]

Monarch, you ain't kidding about that first poop! My goodness! The nurse at the hospital gave stool softeners to me straight after birth and round the clock for the two days I was there. Then, I stopped taking them when I got home. BIG mistake! The next time I had to go, it seriously felt like giving birth. I almost cried.

This is TMI, but I found out by accident that the sitz bath helped with that too. Somehow, the warm water gets things moving. I guess it's why toddlers poop in the tub. The trick is to quick move the sitz bath when you feel the urge to go!

 

[amc80]

Here's a question for you guys- what did you wear after the baby was born? I've asked around and have gotten many different answers. Some stayed in a hospital gown, others packed PJs. The best idea to me seems to be comfy pants (sweats or yoga pants...but would this work if you have a c-section?), a nursing tank, and some sort of robe. Thoughts?

 

[monarch64]

AMC, I brought pajama pants, a tank (non-nursing, straps are too hard to mess with when you're running on no sleep and baby is learning--you need to be able to just pull your boob out FAST) and a short terry robe. I didn't wear them until the 3rd day, though, because the nurses told me I would ruin my pj bottoms. I just wore the hospital gown instead. So, I labored and delivered in my own gown that I bought online, I changed into a hospital gown and wore it my 2nd day in the hospital, and then I changed into pj's/tank/robe for the rest of my stay. You could just bring pj's in case...you might wear them, you might not.

 

[lliang_chi]

AMC, I pretty much stayed in the hospital gown until I left. It's personal preference. But get elastic waist pants to wear, or your maternity pants (again with elastic waist).

From a c-section mama, that first poop isn't as scary (no tears etc), but definitely needed. So again take the coalace they give you and drink lots and lots of water.

And the best feeling in the world? That first shower!

 

[Puppmom]

AMC, I totally agree that it's a matter of personal preference but I felt so much better after I took a shower in the hospital and put on my own clothes. I packed yoga pants (with the wide foldover waist) and a tank top and t-shirt. When I had DD 17 years ago, they didn't even offer me a shower so I stayed in my hospital gown the entire 3 days with no shower. Yuck!

 

[phoenixgirl]

I got a "lounging set" at Target (I just made up that name for it), and the waistband was so high that they would have been fine for a c/s. After my c/s with my first, I wore maternity yoga pants or non-maternity drawstring pants and those were fine too.

I can't believe how much of this I've forgotten and it's only been three months! After my VBAC, my pregnancy hemorrhoids were aggravated and pooping was really terrible. I went to the ER for something else 3.5 weeks later and told the ER doc about how pooping was the worst part of my day (ha), and he gave me a prescription for proctofoam, which eased the swelling and made it numb. Finally after several days of using that, my hemorrhoids went away (or at least stopped hurting . . . I try to remain somewhat unaware of what all has changed down there . . . don't want to know!). IIRC, pooping was also a pain after the c-section because the meds make you constipated. And I totally didn't feel like I needed the percocet or vicadin (can't remember which) so I should have just taken Advil. I didn't know at the time that it caused constipation.

Having a VBAC was really important to me and I wouldn't change it, but I feel like there were more "Oh dear, what is going on with THAT?" problems after the vaginal delivery versus the c-section. I'm glad I avoided major surgery, but you do need to be prepared for fun times with your various private parts for some time. I think by 5 weeks I felt like my tear was completely healed and the bleeding had stopped and I finally felt like a normal woman again.

Oh, and I totally imagined that my tear was infected and got it checked out at 3 weeks, by some young male OB whom I didn't know, of course. And it was totally fine. I think I just wasn't airing it out enough, and goodness knows regular showers are hard to come by when you have two small children. But once he told me it was healing properly all the itchiness and feeling like it wasn't closing right went away, of course.

 

[amc80]

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions! I definitely would like to be out of a hospital gown, if possible, just because I hate them. I know, they serve a purpose...but still.

Also, after reading all of these tips, I'm really wishing there was a 3rd option for getting this kid out of me. Like if he could just float through my belly button or something, the way you imagine it as a child.

 

[missrachelk]

Monnie - what brand / style of gown did you get for labor and delivery? I was just looking at some because I really hate hospital gowns and think I'd like to have my own to wear if at all possible.

I've read before lots of mamas talking about the mesh undies - I think these come from the hospital and more can be bought online. Anyone recently used them - need / don't need? I'm also wondering just how big the postpartum granny panties should be. I'm honestly already in grannies all the time now (well hipsters or the target maternity undies but thongs are long gone for me, already have some hemi's going unfortunately) and I'm wondering if I need super XL bigger / higher / more coverage ones or if my black ones that work now will also work PP.

I will definitely come back with more questions soon!

 

[monarch64]

Missrachel, I got a Gownie. They are available on Amazon and several other sites. The nice thing about them is that they have snaps all the way down the back which provides more coverage.

I am a huge fan of the mesh undies. I took home several pair and have been washing and wearing them so I don't ruin my nice undies. Target has a pretty good maternity panty, those would work great as well. Basically you want something super breathable with a wide crotch because those pads they give you are gigantic.

 

[Laila619]

AMC, I pretty much stayed in the hospital gown until I left. It's personal preference. But get elastic waist pants to wear, or your maternity pants (again with elastic waist).

Me too. I bled a few times, and so I was glad none of my clothes got ruined.

 

[Kunzite]

IIRC, pooping was also a pain after the c-section because the meds make you constipated. And I totally didn't feel like I needed the percocet or vicadin (can't remember which) so I should have just taken Advil. I didn't know at the time that it caused constipation.

I didn't know that I'm on day 4 with no poo in sight! I may have to cut back on the Percocet and see if that helps, I'm starting to get scared!

Add me to the list of those who love mesh undies, grab extras before you leave the hospital. (I liked them for both deliveries.)

I don't know if this is standard advice, but my OB advised folding a panty liner in half length-wise and putting it in your undies against your c-section incision to pull out any moisture.

 

[FrekeChild]

IIRC, pooping was also a pain after the c-section because the meds make you constipated. And I totally didn't feel like I needed the percocet or vicadin (can't remember which) so I should have just taken Advil. I didn't know at the time that it caused constipation.

I didn't know that I'm on day 4 with no poo in sight! I may have to cut back on the Percocet and see if that helps, I'm starting to get scared!

Add me to the list of those who love mesh undies, grab extras before you leave the hospital. (I liked them for both deliveries.)

I don't know if this is standard advice, but my OB advised folding a panty liner in half length-wise and putting it in your undies against your c-section incision to pull out any moisture.

I went almost two weeks (I can't really remember) with no poo. I was taking Colace, Metamucil, prune juice, etc etc etc. I didn't start freaking out about it until over a week had passed.

C-section here. If we have a second, I'll have another C-section. I have no idea what I was wearing when I gave birth (I think a hospital gown?) but I wore one for my entire stay at the hospital. I'm glad I did too, because between the incision, the random baby bodily fluids, formula and the blood, I was a bit of a mess.

Ditto Kunzite on both the mesh undies (OMG lifesavers) and the panty liner. I bled a LOT. I bet it was less than a V birth, but I was kind of astounded me as to how much blood was coming out.

My helpful (?) hints for C-sections:
-get up as soon as you can afterward
-when you walk afterward, do NOT hunch over, that makes it worse later! Straighten up as much as you can, it'll help you heal faster and better.
-be prepared to ask for help for everything, peeing, showering, washing your hands, everything suddenly becomes much harder for a few days, if you had any modesty before, you won't have it after.
-I was on some heavy duty painkillers afterward, and I was on doctors orders to not be by myself for two weeks after birth. Thank goodness because I would randomly start nodding off while holding the baby. Our friends and family took shifts to make sure both baby and I were ok at all times. Sure it was odd to be forcing my friend's boyfriend to watch HGTV, but he didn't mind and it gave everyone else peace of mind!
-remember, you just had major surgery, take the doctor's orders seriously. Do no lift anything over ten pounds! Even sitting up/getting up/lying on your side is a major task for the first week, so take your time and don't make any quick movements!
-take it slow, and if you feel any twinges, stop doing whatever you're doing. Your ab muscles will appreciate it.
-do NOT let your dogs jump up on you
-do NOT take your dogs for walks or anywhere on a leash - if they start to bolt, you're going to be going to the ER because you cannot compensate with your core muscles
-let your partner do everything for the baby too. He's gotta learn how to change diapers, rock them, hold them, feed them anyway, and he hasn't just had major surgery, so he's going to be a LOT more agile! I leaned on my husband A LOT, and they bonded a ton over that time in the hospital and the couple of weeks afterward.


My helpful hints for everyone:
-thank your lucky stars for your nurses and ask them every question you can think of. Seriously, they have great techniques for calming, feeding, getting them to sleep, everything. They are fountains of knowledge and utilize that!
-ask every nurse to show you how they swaddle--you never know which technique will work best for you!
-EAT! Seriously, don't think about taking the baby weight off, there will be time for that later - you need energy from somewhere, and you won't be getting as much sleep as you need
-sleep as much as possible! Your body needs to re-cooperate!
-take advantage of those mesh undies and grab as many as you can. Seriously.
-take off as much work as you possibly can. I went back to work 2.5 weeks after giving birth and I deeply regret it.
-kick your dogs out for a couple of weeks. Take them to a family member or friend's. You do NOT need the extra responsibility, neither does your partner. I imagine cats would be much easier to deal with.
-drink lots of water
-do not clean. You can do it later. Or recruit someone to do it for you. You will have plenty else to do with learning to take care of your little one and making sure you eat and sleep!
-don't worry about your partner! He can take care of himself! And if he can't, tell him to have someone else take care of him!
-do not be afraid to ask your nurses to take the baby, even if it's just for a couple hours, so you can get some sleep. You do not have to have your baby with you at all times to be a good mom. I promise. You're going to need to get as much rest as possible, and the nurses are super capable of taking care of the little ones.
-be selfish. I can't emphasize this enough. You will need help, don't hesitate to ask for it. If anyone offers to do anything for you, take them up on it. Just remember you've been through a lot! You can't be super mom if you don't have the energy or are distracted by stuff that needs to be done!


Something I did not know or read anywhere is that they give you a bottle with a spray nozzle thing attached to it, and you have to fill it with warm water and spray it on your lady parts after peeing, and then pat everything dry with toilet paper. They had me continue doing this for a few weeks after birth.

Take pictures! The first couple of weeks go by fast and they change every day! In all of the sleep deprivation I didn't take nearly as many pictures as I should have!

Eek. I started typing and more and more stuff kept coming up. Sorry it got so long! And the sad thing is, I know I'm missing stuff!