Post February 14th Breakups

[Erin]

Do you think there is any truth to this? It seems to be settling in to our LIW family...

http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/men-sex-and-testosterone/200902/worst-time-the-year-breakups

http://www.articlecircle.com/relationships/national-break-up-season-after-new-year-to-valentine-s-day.html

Couples who struggle in Sept or October may pull it together for the forced good cheer and family obligations between Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year''s. Some regard Valentine''s Day as the final leg of this series of "togetherness" holidays that applies a temporary bond to cracked relationships, but once Feb 15 rolls around, there''s nothing else on the horizon and it''s time to move on.

 

[tlh]

No. I hate keeping men around for the holidays... esp with all the questions. I''d much rather tell someone i dumped the douchebag, than to have them ooohing and ahhing for an introduction.

Case in Point:
I very hesitantly took my ex to my bro''s wedding as my date. I didn''t want to... in fact for the RD I took my best female friend, and was ging to take my best male friend as my date to the wedding... would have been a lot more fun. My mom told me this would be in poor form... (I think she was implying if I didn''t want to take him, I should dump him.) So i brought the dude... I remember my grandma asking if I''d introduce her to my date. I told her, No. The second that word escaped my mouth she was sad. I smiled and said, it''d be a waste of your time... he''s NOT the one.
She smiled, gave me a huge hug and said... yeah, sometimes you just know.
I dumped that douchebag, 3 weeks later.

Why wait? Somethings just cannot be salvaged.

 

[AllieGator]

it''s an interesting idea...it makes sense. It makes me think of in high school, when couples would break up the day after prom.

 

[tlh]

Date: 3/2/2009 2:50:41 PM
Author: AllieGator
it''s an interesting idea...it makes sense. It makes me think of in high school, when couples would break up the day after prom.

and all those girls that gave it up... at prom.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/2/2009 2:39:41 PM
Author:Starset Princess
Do you think there is any truth to this? It seems to be settling in to our LIW family...


http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/men-sex-and-testosterone/200902/worst-time-the-year-breakups


http://www.articlecircle.com/relationships/national-break-up-season-after-new-year-to-valentine-s-day.html


Couples who struggle in Sept or October may pull it together for the forced good cheer and family obligations between Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year''s. Some regard Valentine''s Day as the final leg of this series of ''togetherness'' holidays that applies a temporary bond to cracked relationships, but once Feb 15 rolls around, there''s nothing else on the horizon and it''s time to move on.

I do think this is true. Not because girls want presents or they''re afraid of being around family without their SO, but because no one wants to be alone and feel unloved during the holidays. I don''t care if you''re male or female, no one wants to feel like a relationship failure and especially not during the holidays...

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 3/2/2009 3:02:03 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 3/2/2009 2:50:41 PM

Author: AllieGator

it's an interesting idea...it makes sense. It makes me think of in high school, when couples would break up the day after prom.

and all those girls that gave it up... at prom.

Does this actually happen? I thought it was an urban legend. Who does this (ie, prom sex)???

Also, I think holidays put a lot of pressure and expectation on relationships. It's a good mirror sometimes, to reflect the things that are good and bad, or it might just make you realize that you are not having your expectations met, and you are not happy. *shrug*

 

[OUpearlgirl]

John Mayer wrote a song, St. Patrick''s Day, about this little phenomenon.

 

[gwendolyn]

A friend of mine dumped her boyfriend the day after Valentine''s Day this year because he had made promises (most recently about what he''d do for V-Day but for other occasions too) and then forgot about them, and wasn''t too phrased that he had forgotten them. She was tired of the constant disappointments and feeling like she wasn''t worth the effort for him, so she gave him the boot.

 

[Lauren8211]

Seems my ex didn''t care much about that system.

He dumped me after 5 years together, 2 days before Christmas, the day after my grandpa died, and did it by letting the girl he was cheating on me with call me to tell me that instead of being with me to support me while I mourn my grandpa''s death, that he was out with her in a limo, drinking.

Classy!

I know a lot of people who hold off through the holidays. They don''t want to be alone, and they don''t want to leave anyone alone. It''s weird that we stay with people we don''t want to be with just for the sake of not being alone on the holidays.

 

[Rhea]

I always held off through the holidays. Once the 15th of November hits, there''s no breaking up until after V-Day. It''s only 3 more months and it''s a busy enough time that you can avoid spending any real alone time with someone if you don''t want to.

 

[trillionaire]

It''s interesting that people don''t want to be single/alone for the holidays. I would really hate to spend time with and buy gifts for someone who I didn''t want to be with anymore. Once I am over something, I am obsessive about breaking it off. I broke up with one guy immediately after we became ''official''. I couldn''t live a lie! He was crushed, but I can''t lead people on. I also broke up with SO on our 6 month anni. Not quite intentional, but I just kind of blurted it out, more or less. Rotten, I know, but we did get back together several months later... I really can''t fake it, I get all in a tizzy and can''t function properly.

 

[tlh]

Date: 3/2/2009 3:56:12 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Seems my ex didn''t care much about that system.

He dumped me after 5 years together, 2 days before Christmas, the day after my grandpa died, and did it by letting the girl he was cheating on me with call me to tell me that instead of being with me to support me while I mourn my grandpa''s death, that he was out with her in a limo, drinking.

Classy!

I know a lot of people who hold off through the holidays. They don''t want to be alone, and they don''t want to leave anyone alone. It''s weird that we stay with people we don''t want to be with just for the sake of not being alone on the holidays.

Sounds like a huge a$$... if I knew where he lived I''d give him an upper decker for ya!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 3/2/2009 4:30:54 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 3/2/2009 3:56:12 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Seems my ex didn''t care much about that system.

He dumped me after 5 years together, 2 days before Christmas, the day after my grandpa died, and did it by letting the girl he was cheating on me with call me to tell me that instead of being with me to support me while I mourn my grandpa''s death, that he was out with her in a limo, drinking.

Classy!

I know a lot of people who hold off through the holidays. They don''t want to be alone, and they don''t want to leave anyone alone. It''s weird that we stay with people we don''t want to be with just for the sake of not being alone on the holidays.

Sounds like a huge a$$... if I knew where he lived I''d give him an upper decker for ya!

Huge @$$ is right. He deserves good beating, IMO.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 3/2/2009 4:28:42 PM
Author: trillionaire
It''s interesting that people don''t want to be single/alone for the holidays.

For me it was never not wanting to be alone. I was always trying to avoid the drama. My breakups sound like they are the opposite of yours. They go on forever with lots of phone conversations, crying, and what ifs.

 

[princessplease]

I think it makes sense. There are so many feelings associated with the holidays, and most people I know who''ve broken up during February told me they stuck it out through the holidays so they didn''t have to be alone/explain why they''re single/etc. I''m not saying that is the same situation for everyone, however, it definitely makes a lot of sense.

 

[JulieN]

I broke up with BF last week. I did think about this trend.

 

[idreamofcushions]

Date: 3/2/2009 2:50:09 PM
Author: tlh
No. I hate keeping men around for the holidays... esp with all the questions. I''d much rather tell someone i dumped the douchebag, than to have them ooohing and ahhing for an introduction.


Case in Point:

I very hesitantly took my ex to my bro''s wedding as my date. I didn''t want to... in fact for the RD I took my best female friend, and was ging to take my best male friend as my date to the wedding... would have been a lot more fun. My mom told me this would be in poor form... (I think she was implying if I didn''t want to take him, I should dump him.) So i brought the dude... I remember my grandma asking if I''d introduce her to my date. I told her, No. The second that word escaped my mouth she was sad. I smiled and said, it''d be a waste of your time... he''s NOT the one.

She smiled, gave me a huge hug and said... yeah, sometimes you just know.

I dumped that douchebag, 3 weeks later.


Why wait? Somethings just cannot be salvaged.

I totally agree with you. I broke up with my ex-fiance about a month before my sister''s wedding. I love looking at her wedding pics now and would have hated if he were a part of them. I certainly wouldn''t stay in a dead-end relationship for the sake of having someone for the holidays.

 

[FrekeChild]

Fascinating...

 

[Deelight]

Date: 3/2/2009 3:13:22 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 3/2/2009 3:02:03 PM

Author: tlh

Date: 3/2/2009 2:50:41 PM


Author: AllieGator


it''s an interesting idea...it makes sense. It makes me think of in high school, when couples would break up the day after prom.

and all those girls that gave it up... at prom.

Does this actually happen? I thought it was an urban legend. Who does this (ie, prom sex)???

Also, I think holidays put a lot of pressure and expectation on relationships. It''s a good mirror sometimes, to reflect the things that are good and bad, or it might just make you realize that you are not having your expectations met, and you are not happy. *shrug*

Nope it isn''t a myth my ex BFF did it

 

[iheartscience]

Hmm, interesting-makes sense. But I would never stay with someone for the sake of a holiday...once I''m done, I''m DONE.

 

[allycat0303]

Well it does make sense to me, because I think that spending the holidays alone is really sad. However, I don''t think I would wait until Valentine''s day. I don''t consider it a really big holiday. And for me, January 1st would be a "out with the old, in with the new" mentality. A fresh start kind of thing. So I would think mid-January would be a popular breakup time.

 

[LilyOfTheValley]

Date: 3/2/2009 10:43:02 PM
Author: Deelight

Date: 3/2/2009 3:13:22 PM

Author: trillionaire

Date: 3/2/2009 3:02:03 PM


Author: tlh

Date: 3/2/2009 2:50:41 PM



Author: AllieGator



it''s an interesting idea...it makes sense. It makes me think of in high school, when couples would break up the day after prom.

and all those girls that gave it up... at prom.

Does this actually happen? I thought it was an urban legend. Who does this (ie, prom sex)???

Also, I think holidays put a lot of pressure and expectation on relationships. It''s a good mirror sometimes, to reflect the things that are good and bad, or it might just make you realize that you are not having your expectations met, and you are not happy. *shrug*

Nope it isn''t a myth my ex BFF did it

And so did a lot of kids I went to high school with. Not a myth at all in my world.

 

[elrohwen]

Before FI I dated a guy for a little over a year. We started dating on Jan 3rd and the next year we broke up right around Feb 5th or so. So it wasn't after Valentine's Day, but I kind of think there was something to this theory of waiting through the holidays before ending it. We almost broke up in September the year before and I really wished it had happened then instead of going through the holidays being unhappy in our relationship.

ETA: He broke up with me, so I have no idea if he thought about this trend at all. I think it just happened naturally.

 

[tlh]

my BIL dumped a girl BEFORE valentines day. she gave him the speach of... where are we going.. trying to get serious title, and he was like, you are right, this isn''t going anywhere, we should break up.

He really turned the tables. But my BIL is like a Clooney... you know he''s got a gr8 body and a pretty face... but he''s not the guy that will settle down with you. He''s not one to follow that rule... or any rule for that matter. He just is a happy single guy.