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Positive thoughts, please.

Autumnovember

Autumnovember

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
4,384
Hi everyone :wavey:

So my best friends mom is currently battling a very difficult fight with cancer.

We've been best friends since 5th grade and her family is like my own and they are extremely important to me.

She's been battling this for quite some time and went into remission for several years until we found out about a year or two ago that the cancer was back. And it has spread. And she is now on her 3rd chemo medication change because the other two have not worked.

I'm worried, I'm VERY scared, and I am very sad. I am maintaining a positive outlook that things will start to look better and I'm remaining hopeful that we will be able to pull her through this for at least a few more years.

Her mom is only 54 with three kids, two grandchildren, and a husband who would be completely lost without her in every single way possible.

My best friends wedding is in September so its really tough.

Her doctors are remaining optimistic that her new chemo will help prolong her life but as anything in life, who knows.

I know the power of positive thoughts, prayer, and good vibes that PS has brought to many and I knew I had to come here and please ask for lots and lots of dust for her mom. Please.


Thank you so much....I really appreciate it.
 
I'm sorry she has to go through this again, especially before her daughter's wedding. Many thoughts and LOTS of dusts to her!!!
 
Sending her the strongest prayers I have. Tough battle, but am hoping they can beat this spot on.... Prayers of comfort and strength to you , and your dear friend. This is soooo hard. I have walked in your shoes more than I would wish on anyone. Big (((((HUGS)))))
:halo:
 
Dear Autumnovember, lots of dust and many prayers for your friend's mom and a great big hug for you. I know it's hard when someone you love has cancer. Stay strong.
 
oh no. Cancer is so unfair.

Lots of dust and good wishes and hugs for both you, AN and your friend. Thinking only good things for her mom.
 
Oh dear, so sorry to hear you're going through such a trying time, sending positive thoughts lots of hugs and prayers for you all. Stay strong xo
 
So sorry to hear this, Autumnnovember. :(( How frightening! I pray that this new treatment works and your bf's mom gets better. HUGS!!
 
Thank you everyone, I appreciate it.
 
I'm sending lots of positive thoughts and hugs to you all.
 
Sending positive thoughts and prayers for your friend's mom, AN. I'm sorry to hear this, especially since she's been through so much already.
 
I hope things go very very well. Big sunshiny thoughts to her.
 
lots of dust for your friend.
 
AN

Sending you and yours love and dust from across the oceans.
 
I am so sorry to hear about your friend's Mom. Sending dust to her Mom, as well as the rest of her family.
 
prayers and thoughts headed her way.
 
So very sorry to hear this AN, what a sad, tough situation - sending lots of dust and positive thoughts to your mom's friend and all her family and loved ones (including you!). Hoping very strongly that these new treatments are effective. ((((hugs))))
 
Thank you guys -

As of right now she is still at the hospital and feeling very weak and tired.
 
So sorry this is happening. You clearly care for her and her family very much. Sending all my positive vibes to you, your friend's mother and her family!
 
Hi Autumnnovember, any update? Is your friends mum feeling any better? is there any change? Hoping you all are doing ok...
 
I'm sorry you're going through this, AN. I'm reaching out with a big hug and dust for you! :saint:
 
Enerchi|1336173999|3187845 said:
Hi Autumnnovember, any update? Is your friends mum feeling any better? is there any change? Hoping you all are doing ok...
Click to expand...


She was discharged from the hospital on Thursday. She is really weak and tired as of right now. I was in the hospital myself this weekend so I'll be seeing my best friend tomorrow and finding out some more info/updates.

Her youngest son just came home for the summer from school and I know that will help lift her spirits.
 
YIKES!!! YOU were in the hospital as well, AN??? I hope YOU are OK!!?!??!

Sending you a load of dust and best wishes too!

(and yes, I'm sure seeing her son again will make her feel much much better :)) )
 
dust and prayers....
 
Autumnovember|1336366155|3189065 said:
Enerchi|1336173999|3187845 said:
Hi Autumnnovember, any update? Is your friends mum feeling any better? is there any change? Hoping you all are doing ok...
Click to expand...


She was discharged from the hospital on Thursday. She is really weak and tired as of right now. I was in the hospital myself this weekend so I'll be seeing my best friend tomorrow and finding out some more info/updates.

Her youngest son just came home for the summer from school and I know that will help lift her spirits.
Click to expand...

What's up with you, AN? Are you okay?

Huggggggggsssssss!
 
Hey guys -

Just wanted to update you guys on whats new about my best friends mom.

She was in the hospital twice since the last time I posted. Last week I had plans to see my best friend at night and she called me on her way to my house to let me know her mom was in the hospital again. Severe shortness of breath (she has a lot of fluid in her lungs) and she was in a lot of pain.

I told her we would go to the hospital together and we did.

Her vitals were pretty stable when we got there and we just talked to her and tried to get her mind off things.

The pain management at this particular hospital was pretty pathetic and unfortunately she was admitted.

So then on Friday or Saturday, she was discharged and her son from Maryland and his wife and children came for mothers day. So all the kids made a slideshow for her as a gift which she enjoyed and best friend said lifted her spirits a bit.

She is really weak right now and very tired.

Today, I got a text that she was back in the ER. Panic attack and extreme pain (she has an arm that she has lymphedema in) this time. I told best friend she needs to call the insurance company and somehow get a therapist to her home/hospital/whatever as soon as possible because her mom is majorly overwhelmed with everything going on and I think its SEVERELY impacting her health at this point. She also told me that today her mom was saying she wished she had a gun and could end all of this and that she wished she could have her arm amputated since its useless.

Ugh...its just a mess.

Watching my best friend go through this has been awful. Just awful. Especially when I feel like I don't have anything to say or do to make her feel better or to ease this pain for her family.

She told me on Saturday that she sees in her moms eyes that she is giving up and that she isn't the same person anymore.

That was really hard for me to swallow. Really hard.

P.S. regarding myself - I'm ok. I was in the hospital because I was having severe pain in my right back side. We thought it was either kidney stones or a kidney infection. My WBC count came out high but apparently everything else came out negative. They decided it was a "muscle spasm" which I don't agree with because I still have some pain and muscle relaxers don't help. Just some extra BS to deal with I guess but nothing worth complaining about any further than this..
 
DUST DUST DUST! What a rough time you are having AN! I feel for you - and your friend and her mom. Such a terrible situation to be in. Thinking of you all... fingers crossed that she can get some visiting home making/nursing care assistance at home.
 
Oh no AN, so sorry to hear your mom's friend is struggling so much, what a sad situation - I hope she can get some kind of help to at least bring her some comfort. Sounds like she needs a therapist or some kind of intervention if she's making references to suicide. So heartbreaking. I'll be keeping all of you in my thoughts.
 
Hi everyone -

Just wanted to share an update.

Just got a text from my best friend telling me that her mom has not been going to her chemo treatments the last 3 weeks. My best friend and I speak and see each other everyday and were both under the impression that she was continuing on with the treatments to hopefully get her through to the wedding.

Her mom has decided that she is done with the treatments and does not want to continue with any interventions besides remaining comfortable.

They will be looking into hospice referrals tomorrow.

I knew it would come to this at some point but I guess I just didn't think it would be right now. I'm shocked even though I shouldn't be.

I don't even know what to say to my best friend. I'm at a loss for words.
 
AN,

Speaking as a daughter that has been there, and in a very similar situation, I feel for your best friend. My mother was initially diagnosed when I was 19, her cancer came out of remission when I was 23. She passed away when I was 26, and only about 2 weeks before I got engaged. Had she known it was happening, she might have tried to hold out. Had she tried to hold out, I don't know that I would have been able to make that trip to Vegas...but that is another story.

Look, cancer sucks. It sucks for everyone around the person, but it sucks a million times more for the person with that diagnosis. My mom was the best fighter I have ever known and she fought hard until the bitter end. Through YEARS of chemotherapy, through YEARS of tamoxifen, years of "I'm going to die", years of nausea and puking. And the years I went through of watching were NOTHING compared to what she went through.

She is not giving up. She is actively making the choice to die. She is taking the brave road. It is not easy to make the decision to stop a life-extending treatment, but even though it sucks to look at it from a position so close to her, she has made the harder choice. It would be so much easier for her to do what her daughter and family wants her to do in trying the chemo and potentially extending her life by some amount of time.

I remember knowing when my mom "gave up", when the chemo started to make the hair fall out, and she didn't shave it. I knew that time was different. She was preparing to die. She still went to chemo until about a week before she died, but she had started to make her peace with death far before stopping the chemo.

Chemo sucks, every single day you are sick and so sick that you want to die, so while there is more time, the time is of less quality. It becomes a question of quality versus quantity.

So, my advice, this is her decision. Let her be. Let her be at peace with her choice. And you guys do everything you can to make it the best time of her life that you can. Tell your friend to be there for her mom. Tell her to do everything she can to be at peace with her mom's choice.

And let your best friend cry on your shoulder. And talk. Feel free to cry with her. It helps deal with the grief. Remember: she's choosing quality, not quantity. Tell your friend that.

I hope that I can be so brave when it is my time to go.

Hugs to you all.
 
Oh AN, I'm so sorry for you, and for your friend, and for her mom, and their entire family.

Dust and hugs to you. Here's to your friends mom remaining comfortable in the time she has left.
 
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