Poll - Propose Now or Later?

[Arlington]

My somewhat well-drawn plans for my proposal fell throughl. My GF was supposed to be attending a conference in her hometown (Beantown) next week and staying the weekend with her family. I was going to fly up unbeknownst to her, inform her parents of my intentions, then surprise her by meeting her at the hotel after the conference. I'd take her to dinner in the North End and propose. Nothing too flashy, but we aren't like that.

Then she'd be able to show off the A CUT ABOVE diamond I bought for her to her mom the whole weekend.

Unfortunately...her conference was cancelled and now her sister is coming to town for the weekend instead. No fun.

So........I can either:
OPTION ONE - try to come up with something else in the next couple of weeks. Just something simple like a dinner proposal or going for a romantic walk somewhere.

-OR-

OPTION TWO - I recently inadvertantly found out that she's planning a big surprise for me for my birthday...which is all the way near the end of November. She's planning a big weekend getaway for us to a resort. I'm supposed to be totally clueless about this, but I've seen most of the details already. So, if I want to wait, I totally could turn the tables on her and make it a really incredible weekend that neither of us will ever forget.

But that's a loooooooooong time to wait.

What do you guys think?

 

[fire&ice]

Oh no...sorry about your plans!

Being that I am a girl sympathizer after reading your post in the "should I propose to my BF" thread, sooner rather than later would be my vote.

Why not take her to Beantown anyway? Have you asked her father? If you indeed live in Arlington, the leaves are soon to be peak in the Valley.

Also, I don't know if it's still there - but - the Smithsonian (Natural History Mus. I think) had an incredible Diamond show w/ all the famous diamonds.

D.C. is a plethera of great places. Be creative - and sooner rather than later!

 

[Arlington]

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On 10/3/2003 9:57:36 AM fire&ice wrote:

Oh no...sorry about your plans!

Being that I am a girl sympathizer after reading your post in the 'should I propose to my BF' thread, sooner rather than later would be my vote.

Why not take her to Beantown anyway? Have you asked her father? If you indeed live in Arlington, the leaves are soon to be peak in the Valley.

Also, I don't know if it's still there - but - the Smithsonian (Natural History Mus. I think) had an incredible Diamond show w/ all the famous diamonds.

D.C. is a plethera of great places. Be creative - and sooner rather than later!----------------

I am inclined to agree, although the temptation to turn the tables on her is very compelling. Especially after that guy who posted his story a month or so ago about proposing to his girl at his own surprise birthday party. Very slick!

Oh, if only I had been born a month earlier I could do it!

That Natural History idea is a great one but she already saw that exhibit with some family who came to visit over the summer.

My A-#1 choice is probably the Jefferson Memorial. It's my favorite, and I think the Jefferson at night the best spot in all of DC. The Shenandoah is a good idea too...I hadn't thought of that one. Keep 'em coming if you come up with anything else!

 

[Mara]

I don't know anything about your area..but I definitely say SOONER..stop torturing the poor girl!!

What about something that means something to both of you...like your first date restaurant or is there something that you two like to share, or do...where you could incorporate the proposal into that? What about planning a quick getaway surprise next weekend (after future sis-in-law leaves) where you whisk her away for a night to somewhere fun and within driving distance and do it there? Again--I don't know anything about the area, but we here in CA love to do fun and spontaneous things like drive to Napa for a night or Carmel or the like just to get out and break the monotony of everyday routine....so maybe something similar?




Good luck!!

 

[Arlington]

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On 10/3/2003 1:38:54 PM Mara wrote:


I don't know anything about your area..but I definitely say SOONER..stop torturing the poor girl!!

----------------

True...but, then I won't get to sit around and have the diamond ring I bought all to myself to admire and take pictures of...which I greatly enjoy!

Just kidding. Sort of.

I like your ideas. I only wish I had a place as breathtaking as Napa or Carmel to take her for the weekend. VA has plenty of beautiful scenery, but nothing on par with the California coast (in my opinion).

I may just go the route of taking her to the reataurant we went to on our first date. Actually, the 3-year anniversary of that first date is also fast approaching (Nov 3). I could potentially plan something for that night. But I still think I'd rather do it before.

I'm wracked with indecision, one of my tragic character flaws.

Thanks for the advice, both of you. I continue to be in your debt.

-Arlington

 

[Lanee]

Okay, I'm much more patient then most ladies, I still don't have my engagement ring though since fall was when we intended to purchase it, I'm only getting anxious lately but, I love the idea of you surprising her for your birthday. You could put a cute spin on it like she would be giving you the best b-day gift ever if she would be your wife . . .I know the waiting is going to kill you but it's a great way to share the event with your close friends and such. On the other hand, you had an initmate moment planned for your proposal and if that's better suited to your style as a couple, I would find another way to do it and not do it at the surprise birthday bash.

 

[lovesparkles]

I say wait. I love the sneaky table-turning.

I know that diamond is burning a hole in your pocket, but I'm sure she'd love to be faked out!

Wouldn't that be a great story to retell?

 

[valeria101]

Hei!

Do it a little time (week?) before the vacation, so that you have what to celebrate! Otherwise, all you will be thinking during the escape is how to get back and breack the news to the universe, especially the family (which you already thought about for your plans). This, if YOU can wait that long. If she has planned a vacation, well, then she can or she was planning to ask for it!

Right ?

 

[Arlington]

I really would love to wait until the surprise birthday trip, or even the week before, but after thinking about it this afternoon and evening I just don't see it happening. I'm even annoyed that I can't do it next weekend because her sister is in town. In theory, I could do it before hand but I really prefer to do it after. My girlfriend (the older sister) seems to ALWAYS be getting the attention in that family so I'm not going to turn this in to a "let's admire the new ring and talk about my wedding" weekend. What can I say, I'm sensitive to these things!

So, I think I'm going to have to do it prior to my birthday (which is Thanksgiving weekend, by the way). It's just too long to wait! I'll have to come up with something nice...keep the ideas coming!

Also, I may post this on another message, but any thoughts on how to inform out-of-town parents about my intentions. I get along great with them, so I'm not expecting any hiccups...but what's the etiquette these days? Do I just call them up out of the blue? Talk to the father first? Both at the same time? Just the father, leave the mother in the dark (she's got loose lips). How far in advance?

Any idears???

 

[DP]

Ah the great 'ask the father' debate! Lots of different ideas swinging around here, but IMO it doesn't matter how far in advance. My g/f's parents are in Canada so I grabbed the opportunity to ask her father when he was over here in England on holiday in May. The big question is next week (wish me luck!) - he's probably forgotten!

Definitely father only on this one - c'mon, apart from leading his daughter down the aisle it's the only hurrah he gets! The mother has plenty of time to stick her oar in on the wedding, the house, the kids, the guest list..etc etc. If he's not too far out of town it might be a trip worth making to do it in person - my brother drove from Hertford to Southampton, a trip of about 120 miles, to hold conference, but much more than that obviously makes it tricky, so I reckon a phone call would do it if necessary. Good luck!

 

[fire&ice]

DP is correct - may be worth the trip in person to get the father's blessing.

Arlington, if you do a search on pricescope there was quite a lengthy thread about this very issue. It was called "Help with asking her father". The question was email, letter, phone? General consences after in person was phone. That's what the poster ended up doing & it worked great for him.

Yes, I'm with only the father. As DP mentioned, the mother will be *plenty* involved after the fact. I say this especially if the mother has "loose lips" to sink your ship.

Also, while it's sweet to think of the other sister, this is a special event & should supercede "attention focus". Besides, I can't imagine that the sister wouldn't be estatic! Especially since she is the younger sister.

As the Nike commercial says "Just Do It!" The Jefferson Memorial is the one just over the 14th Bridge - correct? It's great at night. I'm a big musuem fan. Check & see if there are any "special exhibits" which may relate to something personal or wedding like. You could always go to the history musuem w/ all the First Ladies dresses & ask her to be your First Lady. My favorite & most intimate museum is the Renwick - Great old building.

Also, DC is full of really great parks. I adore Rock Creek. Of course, it's got a bad rap since Chandra Levy.

Good luck.

 

[valeria101]

Just a fun fact! I did a web conference with my guy and parents for the ocasion! Please do not take this a piece of advice! I really have ´no idea if anything simmilar ever hapened in hystory, but the whole conversation was a broadband broadcast...

Please don't try this at home! Go in person!

 

[Arlington]

Thanks for the advice everyone! I've thought about it a lot over the weekend, and there just isn't any way I could possibly wait until late November. So, I'm going to plan something simple but romantic for us in a week or two.

I haven't ruled out a weekend getaway completely, but right now I'm leaning towards the Jefferson Memorial (yes, F&I...it's the one right over the 14th Street Bridge). Besides the fact that we both love it, it's also the least crowded of the memorials, it will be easy to get her there since I live five minutes away, it looks beautiful at night, and it will ALWAYS BE THERE (a big plus in my mind)!

I'll be calling the father beforehand...unfortunately I lack the technology for a video conference!

I'd like to do it in person, but I don't believe I'll have the time to fly back and forth to Boston.

Thanks everyone!

 

[fire&ice]

Well, if you indeed live in Arlington, I would imagine it's the first thing you see when you go into DC proper.

Good luck. Sometimes simple & thoughtful are the best routes.

 

[magna2]

Arlington,

I am happy for you that you decided on a game plan. Best wishes.

 

[Arlington]

For anyone interested...here's a photo of the Jefferson Memorial at night.

I urge anyone who is visiting DC to check this one out in the evening...it's quite breathtaking (and the pic really doesn't do it justice).

Thanks everyone!

 

[Mara]

All you need to video conference is a webcam (preferrably one of our Creative camera brands!! ha ha) on each side and an instant messaging service that supports video conferencing like Yahoo or MSN. We use Yahoo all the time to video conference. WebCams are as cheap as $19.99 or $29.99 for the basic ones...or you can spend more like $49.99 or $89.99.




Easier than you'd think!!

It's actually quite fun. You can do voice as well if you get one of the cameras with a microphone. Get one for her dad and send it to him! That'd be funny.

 

[JC]

I proposed to my fiancee on my b-day. Everyone thought that it was the most creative original idea that they had ever heard. It worked out perfectly. To make a long story short when she brought me my b-day cake while singing "happy birthday" to me I escorted her over to my bed and sat her down. As she finished singing the song she asked for me to blow out my candles. I then, ever so softly, closed my eyes and reached under the bed to grab the little black box. The lights were off in my room at the time. The little black box had a tiny little light bulb that shined down on the ring. Well, as soon as I opened my eyes I blew out the candles. The room was pitch dark at that point. I then said a few sweet words and used my birthday wish as my proposal and said that I couldn't think of a better wish to ask for other than her to take me as her husband and be my wife. I then opened up the little black box. With the only light in the room shining down on her ring I asked her to marry me. She began to cry and then said "you don't even have to ask, of course yes, I will". We both cried, hugged, and kissed, and the rest is still being written.

So I say go for the b-day idea. It worked for me. It's well worth the wait. Take it from me. From this day I still have people telling me about how cool it was. You can't go wrong my man. Just a bit of advice. Hopefully this helps.

 

[Vynyaca]

If your girlfriend has any clue at all that you have been looking or have purchased a ring then I say don't wait.
If she has absolutely no idea then definitely surprise her at your "surprise" party.

The exact same thing just happened to friends of ours. He found out about his surprise party and decided to ask her then. It sounded wonderful.

But whatever you decide it'll be great.

 

[DP]

Jefferson - good choice! I've only been to DC twice but it's breathtaking city.
I just couldn't imagine doing it at the Lincoln memorial. There's old Abe glaring down on you like the ultimate disapproving dad!!