Please tell me about your rehearsal dinner

[House Cat]

I feel a bit clueless on how to go about organizing my rehearsal dinner. It seems that it can vary from casual to formal. Is this right? What determines this? Does it really matter?

Could you please tell me about your rehearsal dinners?

 

[zoebartlett]

A rehearsal dinner can be whatever you want it to be -- a casual clambake at the beach or a fancy dinner at a 5 star restaurant. One thing to think about is whether you want the RD to be in similar style to the wedding/reception or whether you want it to be different.

We had ours at a restaurant on the beach. I can''t remember what we offered, but I know we gave our guests a few choices. Since our RD was the night before the wedding, we wanted the menu to be a tad different than what would be served at our reception. Our wedding/reception was held at a restaurant/bird sanctuary in a beach town in southern Maine, and the restaurant we held our RD at is affiliated with it.

I think we had about 30 guests at our RD. One of the hardest decisions we had to make was who to include on our invitation list. We went back and forth as to whether or not to limit it to immediate family members and the wedding party (as small as it was -- only a MOH and BM). In the end, we decided to also invite cousins, aunts, and uncles who had traveled from far away. I''m so glad we extended the invitation to them, because it meant a lot to have them there. I would have loved to invite more people (out of town friends), but as my mom pointed out, then we''d essentially be hosting 2 receptions. That would have gotten really expensive.

We also had to decide what alcohol we wanted served. Our reception was going to be open bar, but we limited the RD to beer and wine. Of course, guests could order whatever they wanted, but we were paying for just beer and wine.

Another thing to think about was what time we wanted to have our RD. Some places (like our restaurant) only offered to hold RD in a private room at certain times (4:30 or 8:00 or something like that). They do that so they can still host regular customers in that space during the night as well. We chose to have dinner on the earlier side because our wedding was going to be in the late morning and I didn''t want to have to stay out really late the night before. I''m really glad we did that because it gave us a chance to return to the hotel and hang out with friends who hadn''t gone to the RD.

There was a lot to plan but it was fun. I hope this helped!

 

[DearBuddha]

DH and I purposefully kept it relaxed and cheap; we chose to host a pool party/cookout at his parent''s house, mostly because we wanted to keep the whole "summer party" vibe going. We grilled burgers and chicken, with lots of sides like salads, fruit, a delicious lasagna his mother baked, ect. We also played lots of whiffle ball and swimming. Exactly what I wanted

My best friend recently got married, and she hosted us at an Italian restaurant/function hall. She offered guests a limited menu, and had an open bar. Unfortunately, the staff was poorly prepared for the event and messed everything up all night, including orders and at various points, neglecting to bring drinks out at all. They served everyone else before the bride and groom, despite our constant redirection, and then the same server had the nerve to ask the bride for her ID three separate times. They also seated other patrons in the private room that was reserved solely for the bridal party, despite the fact that the entire restaurant was empty.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Ours was really relaxed and informal. We had it at MIL''s, and it was catered by a well known BBQ. We invited my family and his and some out of town guests, it was the first time our families met so we just wanted it to be a casual get together so that people could get to know one another.

 

[taovandel]

Ours was extremely relaxed.

We held the actual rehearsal in my parents backyard...then had a friend cater all the food (fried Chicken, Mac and Cheese, Pulled Pork, etc.) and we set up fold up tables and chairs with table clothes in the backyard.

It was the most relaxing fabulous time of the entire weekend. We sat around the tables and just talked and talked forever about any and everything with my family.

We had maybe 15 people total there.

 

[Blair138]

Ours was at a Lou Malnati''s (a Chicago pizza place) near the church and hotel where our wedding was at. We had a private room but it was relaxed, salad, pizza and beer. I personally love the relaxed rehearsal dinner because then the formalities are saved for the wedding, but that is my opinion.

 

[emeraldlover1]

Our rehersal dinner was awesome. We did sort of an upscale bbq type theme. I''ll have to post some pictures. The place we had it at had mountain views with a river. Oh and the food was probably better than our wedding food.

 

[lliang_chi]

We had a casual RD at my parents'' house hosted by his parents. My folks just provided the venue, so to speak. It was a catered Italian meal and we ate outside on the lawn. Afterwards, we bused all the out of town guests to the house too and had a welcome party for everyone. It was lots of fun and very casual, e.g. flip cup and beer pong casual.

 

[meresal]

Description of my RD: Epic...

Extrememly formal and a huge waste of money that my DH and I didn''t want. MIL hired a planner srtictly for the RD, and ended up inviting 180 people. DH and I only wanted wedding party and family, which would have been around 60... the rest were "her" guests.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Well, we''re not married yet, but we''ll be having ours at the same pizza restaurant where we had our first date. It''s near our reception location and across the street from the hotels we have our rooms blocked off. Since FI and I will be paying for it ourselves, we wanted something inexpensive but also important to us. It''s also the restaurant we went to right after he proposed.

We''re hoping to just have the wedding party + their guests, immediate family and any relatives/friends that are coming from out of town. So hopefully it should be under 30 people. I''m really looking forward to it!

I say, formal or informal, go with what you want! My parents are paying for the actual wedding so I''m getting a lot of input from my mother for what we should do for the ceremony and reception. I''m really looking forward to getting complete say in what FI and I do for our rehearsal dinner.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Ours was also very informal - dinner at a family-style Italian restaurant, with everyone seated around a big round table, very laid back. Honestly, for us the priority was on getting to spend quality time with out of town friends and family, and so that was our goal, and the setting reflected that. I''d think about what you want to be sure to get out of the evening, and then plan accordingly.

 

[sunnyd]

We had a fun gathering at a dress up or down type Italian restaurant. My inlaws hosted it and there was a delicious buffet and beer and wine. We had the bridal party and dates and all out of town family. There were 45 people-ish. It was lots of fun!

 

[Clairitek]

We went the informal route because we didn''t want it to compete with our wedding dinner (since we didn''t do dancing at our reception we needed a way to set them apart). We ordered seafood from a local place and took it back to my parents'' house. Then, the weather cleared and we took the party outside and it turned into quite the sh*t show because two members of our bridal party decided it was time to bring out the vodka and tequila. Everyone had a great time and it was certainly memorable. I just wish I could have enjoyed it more because I was busy making bouquets since we did DIY flowers.

The two other rehearsal dinners I''ve been to were pretty similar- pretty good Italian restaurant with everyone dressed up a little.

If we had done a bigger wedding I think we might have stayed casual and done something like a clambake or BBQ. I think its nice when there is a good contrast between the two events but its really up to you! There isn''t a right or wrong way to do it.

 

[House Cat]

Thanks to all of you for this perspective. For some reason, I thought I would have to have a formal rehearsal dinner. Now I''m thrilled to see that I can make it casual! I think everyone will enjoy themselves much more this way.

 

[Haven]

I''m late to this thread, but I wanted to share about our rehearsal dinner.

It was *very* casual, but we loved it! We had it at Lou Malnati''s, which is a local pizza place. I think it was really nice to have a laid-back rehearsal dinner the night before our very formal wedding day. We chose Lou''s because all of our OOT guests kept saying "We have to get to Lou''s when we''re in town" so we thought it was the perfect place for a Chicago RD.

I really love informal, casual rehearsal dinners. They take the edge off, and it''s really nice to be able to relax with everyone right before the big day.

 

[kittybean]

Ours was neither very casual nor formal--it was somewhere in the middle. We had it at a historic hall/restaurant at a beautiful state park with amazing views of the mountains. We had about 50 people (bridal party and close family), and it was a buffet with really yummy food. We had open seating at about 6 tables, and the decor was sort of country simple-but-chic. Our guests really enjoyed the scenery, and the feel was very relaxed and fun. We had an open bar for cocktails and served wine and beer with dinner.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Ours was a casual pig roast/pulled pork dinner for family and the wedding party. It was great!!!! (Funny since I''m a vegetarian, but we had yummy pasta with portabella mushrooms, some kind of baked yam with brown sugar and cinnamon dish, salad, and rolls so I was all set too

The wedding was like of a modern twist on formal (it was a formal brunch with dancing) and we loved it. Absolutely the best day of our lives

 

[honey22]

We don''t generally have RDs here in Australia, but out situation meant that we sort of have one.

We had a small DW and everyone stayed at the resort the night before and the night of the wedding. The night before, we didn''t have a rehearsal, but everyone walked down the road to a nice place in Palm Cove and we all ate their (everyone paid for themselves). It was so nice, except I started to feel sick. I ended up with gastro that night and I was throwing up in my suite everywhere the night before my wedding!!!!

 

[oobiecoo]

We decided to go for a very casual rehearsal dinner because our wedding wasn''t super formal (daytime, garden-y feel) and there aren''t many upscale restaurants near here anyway. Our in-laws offered to pay a couple thousand for the dinner but I told them it would be way less. We chose a casual restaurant that is popular in our town and had a private room. We had a fajita buffet and any alcohol purchased was on the individual''s tab. Only people involved in the wedding were invited... I think it was around 30 or 40 people. We also just sat at individual tables instead of stringing them together for one long one. The room was pretty small so it was easy to just turn and talk to someone behind you.