Please take me off the list

[vetrogrl]

Its a long story, but im no longer a LIW or gf...thank god i found out im not ready for marriage or even getting engaged

 

[Snicklefritz]

Date: 10/7/2009 10:43:38 AM
Author:vetrogrl
Its a long story, but im no longer a LIW or gf...thank god i found out im not ready for marriage or even getting engaged

Hugs! Glad you''re looking at the positives!

 

[ckrickett]

I hope everything is ok

 

[vetrogrl]

I''m at work right now so I can''t explain but i thought being 25 i was ready but yea im not...ill type later when i can...hopefully with time, my status will change but time will only tell...ill keep everyone posted though Thank you for your thoughts

 

[Luckyeshe]

{{{HUGS}}} Better to know you''re not ready now than to find out later! Good for you!

 

[misskitty]

Big hugs!

 

[Patiently_Waiting]

Better to realize sooner rather than later. I hope all is well - hugs!

 

[MrsHToBe]

*hugs*.

 

[HopeDream]

Hugs!

You don''t have to follow anyone''s timeline but you''re own. Better to find out sooner than later!

You can still keep us company though, ok?

I wish you all the best!

 

[AustenNut]

(((((((((hugs)))))))))))

 

[vetrogrl]

so the bf and i are just putting our engagement on hold for now...we just moved in together and we both have never lived with anyone before...so one step at a time...thanks again everyone for the support

 

[crossmyfingers]

Good to hear that it wasn''t a breakup. Good luck with living together!

 

[vetrogrl]

My bf and i have been together for a lil bit over a year and a half. We started dating Feb 14th of 2008. He moved into my townhouse this past September 2009. It was only a year since I had moved into the townhouse myself-my first place being an actual owner. So I was told that given 2 years, if you''re not at least engaged its a make it or break it for the relationship. So As our 1 year anniversary came this past Feb. we started to look at rings. Well fast forward to now, and he had asked for permission from my parents just last week. But these past couple weeks have been really stressful for myself and my bf...i felt overwhelmed and not sure why. I know we do have our issues we each need to work on together and individually. So I thought we should just put the engagament on hold until we settle our differences and come to a place where we''re both satisfied. Plus my bf is from Bulgaria, and we''re also dealing with our cultural differences too. So i guess my question is: how do u know and feel when you''re ready to get engaged? Do people have all their issues and differences settled prior to getting engaged? We both just don''t want to be another statistic of divorce

and my familys Catholic soo divorce is not a choice, given certain extreme circumstances of course. I''m 25 and he''s 26...i thought by the time i was this age i would know whats right

 

[Winks_Elf]

Everyone is different, and you can''t let age be your guide.

When you''re ready, you''ll know it.

(((((BIG HUG!)))))

 

[Pandora II]

For me, being ready meant that I could consider being with my husband for the rest of my life without the slightest niggle or doubt and without wanting to change anything about him.

You don''t have to have settled all your issues or differences, but you need to know that you are on the same page and that your values are the same - and more importantly they have to be differences that you can happily live with.

You can''t change anyone and IMHO anything that is bad BEFORE the wedding will get worse afterwards and far far worse once kids are in the mix.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 10/8/2009 10:32:58 AM
Author: Pandora II
For me, being ready meant that I could consider being with my husband for the rest of my life without the slightest niggle or doubt and without wanting to change anything about him.

You don''t have to have settled all your issues or differences, but you need to know that you are on the same page and that your values are the same - and more importantly they have to be differences that you can happily live with.

You can''t change anyone and IMHO anything that is bad BEFORE the wedding will get worse afterwards and far far worse once kids are in the mix.

wise advice pandora!!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I''ll be honest with you...there is no "cut and dry" way of knowing when it''s the right time. So much depends on where you are mentally, emotionally, and financally. Those are individual to couple, of course, so no one can really say "now or later" for you exactly.

However, unresolved issues cloud the surface of a relationship. They need to be exorcized or they will simply fester and cause you greater grief down the road. I think it''s a wonderful thing that you''re postponing engagement plans until you''re in a better place. To overlook big issues is simply to ensure that you stumbled upon them later...they never "go away" they just grow.

Take time, getting engaged isn''t a race...give yourself the luxury of "figuring it out"...if it''s meant to happen, it will.

 

[b.anna]

hi vetro - i am so sorry things are not going as you thought they would. i am going through something similar but unfortunately, i was already proposed to and i said yes. i''m glad you and your bf are taking things slow! there''s no reason to rush into an engagement. from what i''ve gathered here and the advice that all the amazing people here have given me, i think you''re ready for marriage when you can accept your bf for who he is, and not expect any changes upon engagement or marriage. so if there''s something about him that you can''t "marry" i''d say take some time.

best of luck to you! hopefully we''ll both get ourselves out of the woods!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 10/8/2009 10:32:58 AM
Author: Pandora II
For me, being ready meant that I could consider being with my husband for the rest of my life without the slightest niggle or doubt and without wanting to change anything about him.


You don''t have to have settled all your issues or differences, but you need to know that you are on the same page and that your values are the same - and more importantly they have to be differences that you can happily live with.


You can''t change anyone and IMHO anything that is bad BEFORE the wedding will get worse afterwards and far far worse once kids are in the mix.

This is great advice, however I think there should be an exception for little annoyances (such as drinking all the orange juice and putting the carton back in the fridge

, as nobody is perfect

 

[tyty333]

Date: 10/8/2009 12:47:30 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 10/8/2009 10:32:58 AM
Author: Pandora II
For me, being ready meant that I could consider being with my husband for the rest of my life without the slightest niggle or doubt and without wanting to change anything about him.


You don''t have to have settled all your issues or differences, but you need to know that you are on the same page and that your values are the same - and more importantly they have to be differences that you can happily live with.


You can''t change anyone and IMHO anything that is bad BEFORE the wedding will get worse afterwards and far far worse once kids are in the mix.

This is great advice, however I think there should be an exception for little annoyances (such as drinking all the orange juice and putting the carton back in the fridge

, as nobody is perfect

leaving the toilet set up so you fall in the middle of the night...I wish I had gotten that one fixed before I got
married

 

[princessplease]

I''m sorry. I hope all is well. At least you became aware of this before the engagement. Much luck to you.

 

[AllieGator]

I''m sorry, but thankfully you were able to make a decision now. Best of luck, hope all is well!