Please share a time/experience when you realized who your true friends are

[Missy]

That is, when you realized who your true friends are and who aren't your true friends. What were the circumstances that showed you who you could count on and who you couldn’t count on...and were you surprised or did you know beforehand who would be there for you and who wouldn’t?

Sort of a complicated question and sorry I’m sure there’s an easier way to ask it but my minds a bit cloudy these days. Thanks for sharing.

 

[monarch64]

I don’t know. Really all my friends are different and have different strengths and tolerances and levels of give a crap factor. Some would be there for me for certain things, some would not. Like are talking bail money? Yup, got a friend for that. Coffee chat? Friends for that. Parenting advice/commiseration? Totally different set of friends.

 

[Missy]

I like the way you look at friendships Monnie. And I agree. Not one person can be your everything for everything. It’s too much and not healthy and not possible.

However does that mean there was never a time you were surprised either way good or bad with how a friend was there for you (or wasn’t there for you)during a challenging time?

I guess if one has no expectations one will never be disappointed...

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I don't really have friends IRL but my husband does and recently was told after ten years of having a company car that his position doesn't justify company provided transportation and they are taking it away. This is a big deal because we only have one car since I'm home with the kids.

No lie within a day he had a friend and his sister offer to give their cars to him. So I would say that's a good indication of true friends...- friend in need and all of that. Of course like Monarch said, different people will fulfill different roles but he is lucky to know such generous people IMO.

 

[monarch64]

Yes, Missy, now that I think about it a few particular friends stand out as surprisingly helpful even when I didn’t think I needed or wanted their help. I have one girl friend who showed up out of the blue one day with a microwave for me when I last moved. Totally unexpected. She is just one of those people who is super generous and caring, with a tough broad exterior. I have called her my Spirit Animal since the day we met. Have you ever met someone you just clicked with right off the bat and have been friends ever since? That’s her for me, and me for her. Funny enough though, our separate circles of friends don’t really overlap at all. She works in a different field and we are 10 years apart in age, so that has a lot to do with it. It’s all good, though; we all get along when we do happen to be in the same room.

 

[mrs-b]

I have a small circle of friends we refer to as 'the group'. It's virtually impossible at this point to break into 'the group'. And I'm sure it's impossible to leave. The group is me, my 2 closest girlfriends, my DH, and 2 other male friends of long, long, LONGstanding.

How we've proved our 'group worthiness' (ie 'true friend' status):

We have regular working bees on each other's houses;

We'd let each other live in our houses for an unlimited amount of time;

We will pay each other's bills if there is a distinct need;

We support each other's charities as asked;

We're god parents / guardians to each other's kids and have offered to take guardianship for said children in the event of anything happening to said children's biological parents. This includes the offer to treat said children as our own flesh and blood and pay any and all attached expenses out of our own pockets;

We've helped each other move houses. Countless times;

We celebrate the major holidays and life events together, to the extent that we're able;

We pray for each other. A lot;

We spend time with each other - including crossing large distances regularly to do so;

One member of our group of friends who was in a position to do so lent another member the deposit to buy their first house;

Another member put a different members kids through private school;

One member bought another member, who needed it, a car.

When 6 people bond together like this, there is an incredible safety net. Nobody is ever really at risk. There is always 'fat' in life or 'jam' to be had. There is always laughter, love, support. And there is never a sense of being alone.

It's taken decades to form this web of precious and intricate life-long commitments. We started as 2, who became 3, who became 6. It's not claustrophobic or 'in your face' - we stay in contact largely by phone and email, getting together whenever we can. But we are, each of us, buffered from the tough parts of life by each other, and I've never seen anything quite like it.

So - @missy - that's my example of a very personal part of my life. I've noticed you start many threads asking people to share quite personal parts of their life - but the questions never include answers from your own life or experiences. We'd like to know about you just as much - so...how about you?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I’m still figuring it out. The older I get, I seek out emotionally healthy people. I like low drama and low maintenance friendships. I cherish those I know have my back but also will kindly call me out. Unfortunately unhealthy people are really drawn to me do I am constantly weeding them out.

 

[Missy]

I have a small circle of friends we refer to as 'the group'. It's virtually impossible at this point to break into 'the group'. And I'm sure it's impossible to leave. The group is me, my 2 closest girlfriends, my DH, and 2 other male friends of long, long, LONGstanding.

How we've proved our 'group worthiness' (ie 'true friend' status):

We have regular working bees on each other's houses;

We'd let each other live in our houses for an unlimited amount of time;

We will pay each other's bills if there is a distinct need;

We support each other's charities as asked;

We're god parents / guardians to each other's kids and have offered to take guardianship for said children in the event of anything happening to said children's biological parents. This includes the offer to treat said children as our own flesh and blood and pay any and all attached expenses out of our own pockets;

We've helped each other move houses. Countless times;

We celebrate the major holidays and life events together, to the extent that we're able;

We pray for each other. A lot;

We spend time with each other - including crossing large distances regularly to do so;

One member of our group of friends who was in a position to do so lent another member the deposit to buy their first house;

Another member put a different members kids through private school;

One member bought another member, who needed it, a car.

When 6 people bond together like this, there is an incredible safety net. Nobody is ever really at risk. There is always 'fat' in life or 'jam' to be had. There is always laughter, love, support. And there is never a sense of being alone.

It's taken decades to form this web of precious and intricate life-long commitments. We started as 2, who became 3, who became 6. It's not claustrophobic or 'in your face' - we stay in contact largely by phone and email, getting together whenever we can. But we are, each of us, buffered from the tough parts of life by each other, and I've never seen anything quite like it.

So - @missy - that's my example of a very personal part of my life. I've noticed you start many threads asking people to share quite personal parts of their life - but the questions never include answers from your own life or experiences. We'd like to know about you just as much - so...how about you?

mrs-b thank you for sharing. I do (over) share but perhaps I keep it mostly to one thread where I feel most comfortable. I am shy and so while I emote, share and vent I primarily do it in the NIRDI thread where I feel safe if that makes sense. I am in no way trying to hide anything from anyone though I promise and it isn't intentional.

I have a few true blue friends who I know are there for me no matter what. And I consider myself so fortunate because not everyone has even one true friend like that.

But first and foremost it is my dh. He is my rock and takes the good and bad from me no matter what. And life has been challenging the past few years due to health issues and I know you understand. There are days where I don't even want to get out of bed. It's situational depression I know but the problem is the situation isn't changing so I have to get over it and make the best of the health cards I am dealt I know that and I know having a pity party is no solution. But sometimes I just want to feel sorry and wallow and I am embarrassed for even feeling like this when others are dealing with much more serious situations. There are days I don't feel very strong at all. Having my dh there and my few good friends who are also my support is everything to me.

Thank you all for sharing such personal stuff with us. Thank you Monnie, thank you Stephanie, thank you Tacori E-ring. PS is a special place to me and I value everyone here so much.

(((Hugs))).

 

[lyra]

I think I've successfully weeded out all the non-friend friends. Now I have none, lol! My online friends are important to this extreme introvert. I have some I've known for 20 years now, incredible. My daughters and husband are the closest people to me. We have a very open and close family unit.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Missy, vulnerability is tough. I used to trust too easily and ignore lots of red flags. Like most people I have been through some difficult times. Each time the support I get is what carries me through. Human beings are social animals and I hope each of us have that herd of people to be there during the low times. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your DH. I’m so happy he is your rock.

 

[smitcompton]

Hey,

Missy-- Who says you have to be strong? I do know that you have to eventually pull yourself out of your funk. When I was young, my friends and I learned to say to each other, when one of us felt things in their life were so bad that things couldn't get worse, we said in a chorus of "Oh yes, it can", and then we would laugh. My point being things could always get worse, so you better focus on whats good now, no matter how awful you feel today--it could be worse. What a nonsensical way to look at things, but it somehow helped.

Now, unless you are in physical pain, I'd like you to remember the longer you stay in your funk the more you are training your brain to remain depressed. The brain must remain healthy, so if you must, stay in bed, cry, feel sorry for yourself for three days, and then try telling yourself so what if your skin is no longer bright eyed and bushy tailed, you love life, (And I think you do), and will continue to do so until your last breath of life. As one of my employees used to say her Dad used to tell her to encourage her, "someone out there is eating your lunch, go get it." So somewhere out there is something that will get you up in the morning and eagerly begin your day. For me and Barbara Streisand, we play the stock market and must be up for the opening of the markets. For you, go teach a course in optometry . Help someone. Be a substitute teacher and tell us the great things you see. Take the emphysis (SP) off yourself. If you have pain, I am of no use-only doctors.
I just used your skin condition as an example. I am unsure of what is bothering you. Life does change as we get older and we get new ailments. Try not to waste good life-time obsessing about them. We really do have to accept some things. Remember, things could get worse. no time to lose.

Annette

 

[Austina]

I’m beginning to realise that people I considered true friends, just use me

 

[Maisie]

I don’t have close friends. I would love to but I just have too many issues that I feel I wouldn’t be able to give as much into the friendship as I would like.

My husband is my rock. I would be completely lost without him. He has cared for me through such terrible depression that it’s a surprise I’m still here. Considering we had some major issues in our marriage in the early years I’m more secure and loved than I ever thought possible. So I suppose you could say my husband is my best friend. And that’s enough for me.

 

[Tekate]

The story of my best friend: she is 12 years younger than I. I met her on my first date with my husband in 1985, she told me I was going to marry him! haha! I was still married to number 1.. I thought she was crazy and too young. So I married him 2 years later. She and I have 4 kids, my 2 boys and her boy and girl, when I was desperately trying to get pregnant with my second son for 2 years, the ONLY person who believed in my and my ability to have a second child was her. My husband was sick of treatments etc. My mother said I was too old for my first son... my sister was distant (she had 2 kids).. everyone thought I should be happy with 1 son. Not my bestie.. nope. I lived in NC and she was in NY and we talked every Saturday morning (long distance phone calls used to be expensive!) I lost 17 lbs and got pregnant immediately. A few years ago my older son kicked my younger son out of his and g/fs house because of the usual stuff, rivalry, cheapness on both their parts, my boys are not close but are.. hard to explain.. so my bestie is now in Austin and I'm in Maine (she moved to Atown 6 mos after we left, she is also quiet about her hubsters career which is fine with me not my business).. Now she tries daily to get me to move back! So my bestie took my younger son in and let him live in her house.. I will never forget that ever.. she has always been there for me for anything, deaths, anniversaries, my kids bdays.. I love her. In April of this year she had sudden cardiac arrest, she died there at a Doc n a Box in Atown luckily she was there because she was shocked back. took 16 shocks.. she had experienced liver and kidney failure 2 months earlier.. she now has CHF and an AED. I was there whenever I could get there, I sent her flowers and I love her with all my heart. No one has cared about me as a person the way she has for 32 years. I would do anything she asked.

I also have a group of friends (girls) from high that are closerthanthis to me and we will always be besties 4 ever but we live far and near and we fall in and out of contact for some times.. but in our core there is deep love and affection and caring, one of the girls I have known since I was 4, we went to elementary school together.. we are sort of like the YaYa sisterhood... we are insane, no one wants to be with us when we get together because we are always talking about the great things we have done with each other (breaking into schools, getting drunk and sick... getting hit by priests eating unconsecrated hosts at a catholic church, speeding etc etc).. we are unbreakable till we all die.

My best friend of all is always there for me and I am always there for her. We are one.

 

[lissyflo]

I’m beginning to realise that people I considered true friends, just use me

@mrs-b Forget all the jewels we see on PS; the support network you have is what’s genuinely priceless in life.

Sadly, like @Austina, the older I get, the more I realise there’s very few people in life who will willingly put someone else’s needs above their own on even a temporary basis, or compromise on any level. Maybe it’s because we take on more responsibilities towards our own families as we get older and so have less time or emotional energy for those outside the immediate circle?

I’m about the polar opposite of a Type A, dominant person and consider myself a team player with a strong moral sense of responsibility, fairness and doing what’s right, but even so I’m shocked and saddened on a regular basis by the lack of people who will sacrifice their own priorities for others at no real inconvenience to themselves. I’m trying to treat this as a positive and use it to remind me to really value and appreciate a few, close friendships, but it is a sad realisation.

It’s not always been me who’s felt personally let down, but seeing how friends react to others in certain situations definitely gives insight into what drives and motivates and has often surprised me.

 

[lyra]

I wonder if those of us who have had negative experiences, have something in common. I am open, trusting, and I guess gullible to some extent. I've bent over backwards in a couple of cases, only to find that these particular 2 "friends" were not really friends at all. One had designs on my husband, which was ludicrous. The other turned on me after for, well I'm not actually sure why. It had something to do with following her advice, but not being grateful enough for her or something like that. So, yes, I agree with those who only have one friend, or a close relative. Some of us just don't want to bother, or be hurt again. After a certain age, it becomes less vital maybe too. Plus the internets. Social media has affected how people make new relationships. There is a lack of depth or something.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

There was actually an interesting podcast I heard on NPR saying social media makes people LESS lonely. Sounds like much of the experiences on here. They said the perception of friends was actually beneficial and reduced isolation.

 

[CJ2008]

My online friends are important to this extreme introvert.

Yes.

I think I've experienced true friendship more from what DH's friends are willing to do for him. And through him, for me also in many ways. But it's HIS generosity and willingness to do nice things and willingness to go out of his way to spend time with people that attracts that type of generosity towards him. I don't give too much of that so I don't attract any of that.

I am an extreme introvert and loner - always have been - and it's getting more pronounced with age. Even with family. I just don't miss being with people that often. I have to force myself.

My DH is just so generous and nice in every way.

One thing I'll never forget is him coming home from a trip away when I told him I was going to have to put my cat to sleep. This was my long time cat. He didn't ask me if I wanted him to come home. I never said I wanted him. I fully expected him to stay. But I know for him it was a non-choice. He wanted to be here. That's how he is.

He'll have a much needed day off and then find out someone is having a layover at the airport. He will go see them and spend time with them. Even if he had stuff planned for himself.

I just can't even count all the things.

His best friend and his wife helped us move cross country. And I *know* they would do anything for us, because of him.

 

[CJ2008]

And missy, your post brought tears to my eyes.

I really love you. I know I've never met you, but I really do.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I wonder if those of us who have had negative experiences, have something in common. I am open, trusting, and I guess gullible to some extent. I've bent over backwards in a couple of cases, only to find that these particular 2 "friends" were not really friends at all. One had designs on my husband, which was ludicrous. The other turned on me after for, well I'm not actually sure why. It had something to do with following her advice, but not being grateful enough for her or something like that. So, yes, I agree with those who only have one friend, or a close relative. Some of us just don't want to bother, or be hurt again. After a certain age, it becomes less vital maybe too. Plus the internets. Social media has affected how people make new relationships. There is a lack of depth or something.

Lyra, I think you are right here about not wanting to be hurt again. After losing my best friend of 20 years (falling out followed by silent treatment on her end) I just have no interest in going through that again, next to the deaths of my parents it was the worst emotional pain of my life. Worse though because she still lives in the world, just not my world. However, that is what brought me to PS so there is always a silver lining.

 

[caf]

Tonight a girlfriend came over to help me clean my house (housekeeper took off this week for Xmas). I was overwhelmed with work, parenting stuff, a kitchen renovation and some other family stuff. She heard me and said I’m coming over to help you! That’s a friend. She also, while here, counseled my college freshman (she’s an education psychologist), ate some hot and sour soup, drank a Diet Coke and left full and happy. All in all a good night and good friend.

And now my SO is cleaning the hardwood floors and then the cleaning is done - except for laundry. He is a terrific friend too.

CAF

 

[MarionC]

Missy you come up with the best and most thought provoking threads. You are a dear treasure.
Reading through the responses has been very helpful, I see myself in so many and am amazed so many people feel this way. I'm not alone!

I am shy and a "gregarious introvert" and have only have a few people I consider real friends.
I too was very open and felt affection for many people, but got hurt by them. As a result I now have a low level of trust for people's motives and have the strong impression that I do not understand people in general and it is safest to keep to oneself.
(Like being bitten by a dog haha I loved all dogs and still do, but after being attacked by a large one several years ago I no longer feel relaxed around them).
I hate feeling this way!
At times I do long for a best friend but then again I am happy and peaceful for the most part. I am very resilient and love life and am very good at entertaining myself.
&...
I love the Pricescope community!

 

[Missy]

Hey,

Missy-- Who says you have to be strong? I do know that you have to eventually pull yourself out of your funk. When I was young, my friends and I learned to say to each other, when one of us felt things in their life were so bad that things couldn't get worse, we said in a chorus of "Oh yes, it can", and then we would laugh. My point being things could always get worse, so you better focus on whats good now, no matter how awful you feel today--it could be worse. What a nonsensical way to look at things, but it somehow helped.

Now, unless you are in physical pain, I'd like you to remember the longer you stay in your funk the more you are training your brain to remain depressed. The brain must remain healthy, so if you must, stay in bed, cry, feel sorry for yourself for three days, and then try telling yourself so what if your skin is no longer bright eyed and bushy tailed, you love life, (And I think you do), and will continue to do so until your last breath of life. As one of my employees used to say her Dad used to tell her to encourage her, "someone out there is eating your lunch, go get it." So somewhere out there is something that will get you up in the morning and eagerly begin your day. For me and Barbara Streisand, we play the stock market and must be up for the opening of the markets. For you, go teach a course in optometry . Help someone. Be a substitute teacher and tell us the great things you see. Take the emphysis (SP) off yourself. If you have pain, I am of no use-only doctors.
I just used your skin condition as an example. I am unsure of what is bothering you. Life does change as we get older and we get new ailments. Try not to waste good life-time obsessing about them. We really do have to accept some things. Remember, things could get worse. no time to lose.

Annette

Hey Annette thanks for your reply and your helpful thoughts. I appreciate your input. To expand a bit so you don't have to guess what is bothering me I am always in a state of discomfort. Sometimes low level discomfort but usually more moderate level discomfort and occasionally (like now) a higher level of discomfort. Related right now to a severe eczema outbreak. So it is skin related right now but not appearance related as much as pain related.

It is something I have to deal with and am managing like all my other conditions. Right now I am also dealing with chilblains (ulceration of digits in the colder temps) that flares in 50 degree temps to the point that my podiatrist is unsure if he can do the surgical procedure on me that he needs to in order to relieve a recurring ingrown toenail problem on the leg with the metal plates inside it. So instead right now he keeps doing a temporary mastectomy which is painful and he has to do it every 4 months instead of giving me permanent relief. Because of my poor circulation. I am also dealing with many other autoimmune conditions but just naming a couple right now because it isn't about that but more about why my mood is temporarily down.

However I was referring to figuratively not wanting to get out of bed some mornings and not literally. I always get up and move on with my day and usually I am OK mood wise. After I vent and cry a bit that is. And believe me Annette, I realize it can (and probably will) get worse because I am in my 50s so I have picked up some wisdom (however inadvertently haha) along the way. I see how things often do get worse even when one thinks one cannot take it anymore. It can be overwhelming.

I realize how fortunate I am because I have so many wonderful things in my life. Including first and foremost my loved ones and my dh and I am overwhelmingly grateful. That is always my first thought how lucky I am no matter the bad stuff I am experiencing the happy stuff far outweighs any of the bad... though yes the darkness can creep into my head when I am flaring and really feeling so uncomfortable and in pain.

Pain is a weird animal and can make one behave and feel differently and can be a game changer. Especially when it is a constant discomfort even when it is not an outright moderate to severe pain there is always a level discomfort present. Always. To add insult to injury I really cannot take most meds or any pain relief. I react badly to it all (get nauseous and sick) and it isn't worth it. So I just breathe through the pain when it gets intense and do what I can to relieve it. Generally though it isn't intense pain but just a constant level of discomfort. I have lots of coping mechanisms I learned over the years to manage it the best way I can and I am generally doing OK.

Having my dh by my side goes a long way in giving me strength and having the support and encouragement of all my loved ones also really makes a huge difference. That is why I started this thread. To ask how important friends are to you guys and if people ever disappoint you when you need them most. Or surprise you in a good way. I do find that expectations go a long way in tempering how one feels about specific friendships and it can be helpful to look at it that way so one doesn't feel disappointed if you kwim. Instead just to remember to be grateful for the friends you know are always there for you as you are for them.

Thank you to those reading because you are part of my support group. Whether you know it or not.

 

[Missy]

CJ I love you too honey I really do. One day we will meet in person. You and I are alike in many ways. I appreciate you so much.

Jimmianne what can I say sweet gentle soul. Another PS person (who I have met IRL) whom I feel close to who I get and who gets me. Love you girl. You and I both are gregarious introverts. Not an oxymoron at all. We get that. You are a dear treasure. (((Hugs))).

Austina (((Hugs))).

And hugs to all of you. Monnie, Tacori, Maisie, Stephanie, Kate, Lyra, Lissyflo, mrs-b, Caf, I am sorry I am not responding individually to each one of you right now but I have read each of your replies and thank you for sharing so generously. Big hugs and love being sent your way. Wishing for all at least one dear good friend who is always there for you. No matter what.

Yes we might get hurt and I agree that the more open and loving one is the more potential for hurt but I would never want to let that destroy your open and loving nature because that is the most wonderful quality any person can possess IMO. The ability to love and give and share.

 

[asscherisme]

That is, when you realized who your true friends are and who aren't your true friends. What were the circumstances that showed you who you could count on and who you couldn’t count on...and were you surprised or did you know beforehand who would be there for you and who wouldn’t?

Sort of a complicated question and sorry I’m sure there’s an easier way to ask it but my minds a bit cloudy these days. Thanks for sharing.

During my divorce, most people treated me with judgement, avoided me, and acted like divorce was contagious. There was one woman who I had been acquaintances for years, not really friends though. I ran into her when grocery shopping and she asked how I was. Normal social convention says that I should have said "fine". Instead, I blurted out "I am in the middle of a hellish divorce and he is trying to destroy me emotionally and financially." She told me we should get together for coffee to just talk. We already had each other's numbers. I was going to let it go, but my son who was with me at the time practically forced me to text her. We got together, and became great friends. She was the BIGGEST support during my divorce. A shoulder to cry on, she was just there for me. And later she had her own family crisis and I was happy to be there for her. We have so much in common and it is honestly the healthiest friendship I have ever had. NO drama, no weird games, we are equals. And I know she will be there for me and vice versa. And we practically live in the same neighborhood which is awesome! She is the person I call if I am too sick to drive my kids to school. I am the person she calls if her husband is out of town and she gets the creeps being in her big house alone at night. I am so glad I ran into her at the grocery store that day years ago!!

 

[House Cat]

Lyra, I think you are right here about not wanting to be hurt again. After losing my best friend of 20 years (falling out followed by silent treatment on her end) I just have no interest in going through that again, next to the deaths of my parents it was the worst emotional pain of my life. Worse though because she still lives in the world, just not my world. However, that is what brought me to PS so there is always a silver lining.

Hugs dear Stephanie. You are such a beautiful soul. You are worthy of the greatest bestie the world has to offer. Something tells me that when the time is right, you will find someone who knows just how to cherish and guard your heart.

Much love,
HC

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Thanks for those kind words Housecat, it is greatly appreciated and I hope you have a wonderful holiday surrounded with friends and family and lots of love.

 

[marcy]

Great topic, Missy. As Jimmianne said reading through the responses was helpful and I saw so many things I can relate to as well.

Missy, I am so sorry you are in constant pain. I am glad you have such a wonderful and supportive husband.

As for your question; it so often has turned out for me that real friends or good friends are few and far between. I (like many of you) have become less trusting and less likely to believe someone is my friend. When you need a friend sometimes the person who befriends you is the last person you'd expect. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but I remain cautious.

 

[GliderPoss]

I think I realised who my true friends when we joined the Army and moved around a lot. Some will make the effort to stay in touch no matter where you are and some are simply friends of "convenience"....

My best friend has been a rock to me since we met at the age of 10 and we have made the effort to stay frequently in touch despite living apart for 23 years! I adore her and am fortunate to be her son's godmother now as well. My husband is of course my other best friend.

 

[TooPatient]

I learned from an early age that people are not there when you need them and disappear without warning. My only friend at my new school (1st grade) where everyone else knew each other gave me a Christmas card letting me know that we couldn't be friends anymore because some other girl said so. A few years later, another friend just disappeared in the middle of the school year. There one day and gone the next. It has been that way forever.

I don't give up on people. I try to be a good friend who is there to help when needed without being pushy and don't really talk about what is going wrong in my life. Since no one wants to be friends with a sad person.

DH and I have been through some tough years. All of the people we thought were friends didn't even email to ask how we were. There were situations where just a two or three sentence endorsement from one of them would have been the difference between longer court challenges and a relaxed filing. I have one friend who has actually been there (a little) and all the rest just vanished.

I have friends online through PS and animal rescue groups that I would do anything for and who have been here for me. I was surprised to see such kindness from people I had never even met when my "friends" of some years weren't even there. Thanks to my online friends, I do not feel alone or sad. I feel blessed to know so many kind people.