Platinum setting if FI can''t afford same for wedding band?

[rmkwebdesign]

I''ve waded through all the platinum vs. white gold posts, and had decided to purchase a platinum engagement ring for my gf. And, therefore, I was planning to later purchase a platinum wedding band to go along with the engagement ring. Today, however, a thought came to me...

My gf does not have a lot of money, and may not be able to afford a platinum wedding band for me. Would she feel really bad if she wanted each of our wedding bands to be similar, but not have the money for platinum, yet having a platinum engagement ring and not wanting to put white gold next to that?

Does this make sense? I''m trying to think ahead here, and maybe I''m too stressed out about this. I''m doing the engagement ring shopping on my own, and I don''t have a problem buying a platinum setting; that was my intention. I''m just wondering if that puts an undue pressure on her to buy a platinum wedding band for me (to match the one I''d buy her) if she can''t afford it. Should I switch to white gold instead? Any counsel for me out there? Thanks.

 

[curiopotter]

I don't really think it matters. My engagement ring is platinum, and I expect my wedding band will match my engagement ring. However, my SO doesn't have a preference for his ring.

It depends on you, really. Do you want platinum? Do you want your bands to even match? There are tons of folks on here who'se bands don't match, and it's mainly for comfort and personal tastes. There are lots of guys who prefer titanium over platinum, or white gold's lighter weight vs.platinum's heavier weight.

If her desire is to have matching bands, you could always help her pay for it. I mean really, it's not like you won't be paying for it later.

 

[Maisie]

My wedding ring will be platinum to match my ering but my other half wants white gold. He says he prefers it.

He has a white gold band from Whiteflash and he wants me to just get him another one either the same or similar.

 

[rainydaze]

it is vey thoughtful of you to think ahead to your GF''s feelings about your bands and her ability to afford to match the metal. that said, she may well want them to match given they will both be white metals, but not necessarily. the important thing is the sentiment behind them, and if she can afford to give you white gold then she should be proud to do so and do so with love. and if matching IS in fact important to her, you can either help pay the difference or the two of you can look forward to the day when she can afford to buy you a platinum band to replace the white gold one (and possibly even use the opportunity to renew your vows).

a sidenote, i look good in white metal, but my DH looked terrible in anything other than yellow gold. so i have a platinum wedding set and he has a yellow gold band. i like organization and matching details, but this has never bothered me. to me it represents how we are each our own individuals, but have come together in love and compromise to share our lives. cheesy, but true.

 

[decodelighted]

There are some cool titanium or tungsten bands with platinum inlays ... like a small band of platinum inset into the ring but the rest of the band made up of a cheaper but indestructable material.

Those are usually much less expensive than platinum. But there are also lighterweight platinum (more hollow?? thinner in depth??) available online -- so a men's platinum band might be $300-$500 instead of the jewelery store's 1K +++


ETA: Kudos for being considerate & thinking ahead! Don't stress though ... I'm sure there's a way to "have it all".

 

[Independent Gal]

What a considerate man you are!

I just bought my FI a platinum wedding band, because he said he DID want his to match mine, and it wasn't too bad. For size 8.75, 3mm, 1.5 mm thick it was $339. I got eweddingbands.com to do a pricematch from another site.

Mind you, 3mm is a little thin for a man. Not sure why he wants that! But it's him who has to wear it, so that's what I got him.

But just to say, doesn't have to REALLY break the bank. And if you don't care if it matches, just say so and let her decide.

 

[rmkwebdesign]

Thanks for everyone''s advice!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I see absolutely no reason your band needs to be the same metal as hers. Choose yellow gold, white gold, or whatever you like! White gold will need to be rhodium plated from time to time, but it will not get as scratched and dull as a platinum band will.

 

[Cathers]

my er is platinum, and I am sure my wedding band will be as well. My beloved wears a tungsten carbide band that he insists he is going to wear as his wb. I originally wanted matching bands, but we decided we wanted bands that best suited us. He works with his hands all day, and the tungsten holds up beautifully.

 

[Hest88]

Date: 9/7/2007 8:54:42 AM
Author:rmkwebdesign
My gf does not have a lot of money, and may not be able to afford a platinum wedding band for me. Would she feel really bad if she wanted each of our wedding bands to be similar, but not have the money for platinum, yet having a platinum engagement ring and not wanting to put white gold next to that?

I don''t remember if it''s a tradition that the fiancee buys the man''s wedding ring. In my case and among my friends when it came to the wedding bands the couple sort of pooled their funds. The e-ring is the gift that traditionally is given by the man, but I don''t think the same expectation is attached to the wedding bands.

Also, as others have said, just as her preferences should go into her wedding set, your ring should really look the way you want. Many people don''t bother matching rings anymore, since men''s rings are often plainer while women may want more elaborate designs. If you convince her that you really like a band that just happens to be comfortably within her budget, who''s to argue?