Phone Phobia

[rockzilla]

I think there''s a difference between disliking "chit-chatting" on the phone and being afraid to call people. When I was younger, I didn''t mind chatting on the phone with friends/boyfriends, but I did have a fear of calling places of business. For some reason, pizza places in particular terrified me! (Weirdly, my college roommate had the same fear, so there were many nights pizza-ordering was seriously delayed in our dorm room).

It makes you question: what is the "root" of the phobia? When I look back and analyze it now, I think the fear was more around 1) afraid of not being understood and 2) being judged by the person on the other line. When calling for pizza, I would get nervous because I always had a modification to the order (e.g. no olives, half with no cheese, etc.) and I thought they''d either not understand, I wouldn''t be able to explain where to deliver it to, they''d get it wrong, or think badly of me (I know, makes no sense!). Thank goodness online ordering was invented.

Since then, I''ve had to use the phone a lot for my job, and I actually don''t mind it. I love how, when you have a quick question, you can pick up the phone and just get an answer right away, rather than waiting around for an email. I also think it can help to get through to someone and communicate to someone how serious something is - email can be passive aggressive, you spend 30 minutes trying to "word it" the right way, etc. Sometimes its nice to have the option to edit your thoughts beforehand, but often, time and effort can be saved by picking up the phone.

I have noticed though, people who avoid phone calls all the time. A guy I used to work with, he NEVER checked his voicemail (work or cell, he seriously had hundreds of new voicemails) because he thought it was a waste of time and people should text or email him. He''d call back if he saw a missed call and knew the number, but I always thought "what if its the hospital calling to tell you your mom was in an accident" -- not to mention being rude to everyone else!

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

I don''t think I am phobic but I would rather e-mail, or text. My family members always call me out for not calling, etc. I just tell them, well, you have my e-mail, my facebook. To me, communicating there is just as efficient. I e-mail people a lot.

I just don''t like verbal small talk over the phone. The only person I talk on the phone with is my fiance.

 

[katamari]

Add me to the list of the phone adverse. I would very honestly pay a high premium to do business via e-mail exclusively. I often take my business elsewhere when I run into companies that rely on the phone for communication. The only person I call without reservation is my Grams.

 

[joflier]

Wow. I''m honestly really surprised at how many people don''t like talking on the phone!!

 

[tyty333]

Date: 6/3/2010 6:03:04 PM
Author: joflier
Wow. I''m honestly really surprised at how many people don''t like talking on the phone!!

I''m surprised too! I dont have a "real" phobia about the phone but I''m another person who hates to talk on the phone. Hate
calling someone I dont really know (worrying about whether its going to be an awkward conversation). My DH isnt a big phone
person either. We rarely answer our phone. We let the answering machine pick up then call back the people we actually
want to talk to. I''m sure I have lost friends over my phone "issues".

 

[lilyfoot]

Ugh I hate talking on the phone too. Seriously, I can''t believe there''s so many of "us" out there!

 

[Indylady]

Do you think that having a phone phobia might be a result of social anxiety?

 

[CJ2008]

Date: 6/3/2010 1:22:19 PM
Author: Bleed Burnt Orange
I don't think I am phobic but I would rather e-mail, or text. My family members always call me out for not calling, etc. I just tell them, well, you have my e-mail, my facebook. To me, communicating there is just as efficient. I e-mail people a lot.


I just don't like verbal small talk over the phone. The only person I talk on the phone with is my fiance.

I love this topic - makes me feel less looney.

Pretty much how I am. I HATE, HATE, HATE talking on the phone. It is incredible the DREAD that I feel any time I have to call anyone I KNOW. Strangers, or take-out, etc, no problem - I think this is mainly because I know the call won't take long. Other than that the only two people in the world I don't feel this about is DH and my niece. And sometimes my sister, unless I have a feeling she'll want to chat for a while. Even so, the only one I talk to several times a day is my DH. Everyone else, very rarely. And I try to get my niece to Skype me whenever possible - anything to avoid the actual phone.

EVERYONE calls me out on it - THAT has created a lot of anxiety for me over the years, having to explain it all the time that I just don't like the phone. I've gotten better at not feeling guilty about it, but it's always a fine line, because I realize people think it's rude when you don't call them back for like 14 days. haha Whenever possible I will reply to a phone call with an email or text (which people don't like too much either).

It isn't a phobia at all, though. I am not afraid of anything other than every minute feels like 10. And I especially dread calling people that I know have a tendency to want to talk for a long time. I've gotten a little better at not feeling guilty about saying, "listen, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later." ETA: I find this is harder for me to do when I have someone on the other end that I haven't talked to in a long time, and I *know* they're expecting a long conversation to "catch up." I'd had a few people in my life who love people who say, "oh, OK" and then keep going for another 20 minutes.

Mostly, I the phone is an intrusion...

Wow - I really needed to get all that out didn't I?