Perfectly good diamond gone to waste =) ............

[WildFlowers]

Hello everyone. I have been a long time "Lurker" on these boards. I found this site when I
was researching diamonds for my engagement ring. Ironically, I am just now posting because
of Alexis'' thread about what she should do with her promise ring.(I didnt want to hijack)
First off, I want everyone to know that I really appreciate all the information and advice
here. I consulted this site many times on my quest for my diamond. If not for this
site - I would have wound up with a diamond from a B&M. You guys saved us money and
helped me get a great ideal AGS000 1.26ct diamond. Much better than what I would have
gotten locally. ANYWAY............................back to my question......

My ex-fiance and I dated for over 3 years and continue to be great friends. Even
though we got along great that had fun together it would not have worked if
we had gotten married because of religious conviction differences. Anyway, He said I
could keep the ring because the only thing he could do with it would be to sell
it and it was too sentimental to him to sell. So, what am I supposed to do with
ring now? I can''t sell it now or it makes me look like a big A-hole.

I''m not
to keen on the idea of making a pendant out of it either b/c I''m sure a future
BF probabaly would not me wearing a diamond from another man. So what am
I to do with it? I can''t let a perfectly good diamond goto waste!!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Trade it in for a *different* diamond and then make a pendant out of that!

 

[AndyRosse]

Date: 1/30/2007 3:01:36 PM
Author: Dee*Jay
Trade it in for a *different* diamond and then make a pendant out of that!

I like that idea

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/30/2007 3:16:58 PM
Author: Rascal49

Date: 1/30/2007 3:01:36 PM
Author: Dee*Jay
Trade it in for a *different* diamond and then make a pendant out of that!

I like that idea

Me three!!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

great idea!!!

 

[~*Alexis*~]

Why doesnt everyone get out their old jewelry we send it to Irina....she gives it a number and everyone that contributed can pick a number and we all get a new piece of jewelry....?????

I will pay for shipping for my pieces........lol

 

[AndyRosse]

Date: 1/30/2007 3:58:14 PM
Author: ~*Alexis*~
Why doesnt everyone get out their old jewelry we send it to Irina....she gives it a number and everyone that contributed can pick a number and we all get a new piece of jewelry....?????

I will pay for shipping for my pieces........lol

LOL! I wish!

 

[starryeyed]

Date: 1/30/2007 2:54:55 PM
Author:WildFlowers
My ex-fiance and I dated for over 3 years and continue to be great friends. Even though we got along great that had fun together it would not have worked if we had gotten married because of religious conviction differences. Anyway, He said I could keep the ring because the only thing he could do with it would be to sell it and it was too sentimental to him to sell. So, what am I supposed to do with ring now? I can''t sell it now or it makes me look like a big A-hole.

I''m not to keen on the idea of making a pendant out of it either b/c I''m sure a future BF probabaly would not me wearing a diamond from another man. So what am I to do with it? I can''t let a perfectly good diamond goto waste!!

Hi Wildflowers. Why are you giving so much consideration to "a future BF"? This isn''t even a real person, and for the thought of one, you want to throw away a symbol of your relationship with your ex-fiance, who is still your good friend?

Even though your ex is no longer a prospect, that doesn''t change the fact that you shared more than 3 years of your lives together. Unless your break-up was ugly which it doesn''t sound like it was, I''m sure you have a special little spot in your heart for him. It''s a part of who you are and what your history is. No new man is going to change that.

Would you expect your "future BF" to throw away every sweater, jacket, belt, or tie that old girlfriends gave him? I doubt he would even tell you.

I think you should do what YOU want to do with the diamond. Quite frankly, I think a pendant with this diamond is a nice idea. If you choose to tell your "future BF" where the diamond came from, then you can discuss if it makes him uncomfortable, but don''t feel you have to. It''s your business and part of your past, which you can''t change. If he asks you to not wear it, then he should throw away the sweaters, etc.

 

[WildFlowers]

Date: 1/30/2007 3:01:36 PM
Author: Dee*Jay
Trade it in for a *different* diamond and then make a pendant out of that!

That is an AWESOME idea! See - its ideas like that - that keep me reading these boards

 

[lumpkin]

I agree with Starryeyed! Plus, even if you trade it, you''ll not get an equally valued stone, so you''ll be taking a bath on it. If a pendant makes you uncomfortable and you really feel you can''t keep that specific diamond, maybe you could trade it for a pair of studs??

Personally, I''d keep it, put it in a piece of jewelry you will wear, and wear it, guilt free.

 

[WildFlowers]

Date: 1/30/2007 5:28:34 PM
Author: starryeyed

Date: 1/30/2007 2:54:55 PM
Author:WildFlowers
My ex-fiance and I dated for over 3 years and continue to be great friends. Even though we got along great that had fun together it would not have worked if we had gotten married because of religious conviction differences. Anyway, He said I could keep the ring because the only thing he could do with it would be to sell it and it was too sentimental to him to sell. So, what am I supposed to do with ring now? I can''t sell it now or it makes me look like a big A-hole.

I''m not to keen on the idea of making a pendant out of it either b/c I''m sure a future BF probabaly would not me wearing a diamond from another man. So what am I to do with it? I can''t let a perfectly good diamond goto waste!!

Hi Wildflowers. Why are you giving so much consideration to ''a future BF''? This isn''t even a real person, and for the thought of one, you want to throw away a symbol of your relationship with your ex-fiance, who is still your good friend?

Even though your ex is no longer a prospect, that doesn''t change the fact that you shared more than 3 years of your lives together. Unless your break-up was ugly which it doesn''t sound like it was, I''m sure you have a special little spot in your heart for him. It''s a part of who you are and what your history is. No new man is going to change that.

Would you expect your ''future BF'' to throw away every sweater, jacket, belt, or tie that old girlfriends gave him? I doubt he would even tell you.

I think you should do what YOU want to do with the diamond. Quite frankly, I think a pendant with this diamond is a nice idea. If you choose to tell your ''future BF'' where the diamond came from, then you can discuss if it makes him uncomfortable, but don''t feel you have to. It''s your business and part of your past, which you can''t change. If he asks you to not wear it, then he should throw away the sweaters, etc.

You Answered that question: It is a symbol of my relationship with my ex-fiance whom I have a little spot in my heart

.
Not alot of guys would like to see that everyday and I wouldnt lie about where it(a pendant) came from.
Ideally I would LOVE to have it as a pendant and trading in may be a good way to get a "untainted"

one.

 

[firebirdgold]

And the chances of a guy asking where a piece of jewelry came from? .0005%

Just don''t volunteer the information and it''ll all be ok.

 

[Janice61]

I had a very similar situation where I was engaged for a short time and was left with a pretty ring. At the time my ex-fiance and I broke up, I just put the ring away for a couple of years. Once I got some perspective and distance, I took out the ring, removed the diamond and put it in a pendant. My DH does not care where I got the diamond because he is very secure in our relationship. Plus, he gave me a much nicer one! My advice is if you can''t make up your mind right now, just put it away for a while. By the way, I never thought I would wear the setting again and now that I''ve been married for 3 years, I am considering putting a fun stone in it as a right hand ring. Never say never.

 

[Mara]

i agree with starry eyed. i honestly would not be all that interested if some random future BF was like 'why are you wearing some diamond from an old ex'. i've dated guys like that before and i was never interested in marrying anyone like that. my husband now could have cared less if i had some diamond from a previous relationship...he'd just have to get me one bigger!

so i'd keep it and make it a pendant and do what *I* wanted with it. if that is what i wanted to do in fact. if you really don't want to keep it ... then trade it in and get something else. but honestly i'd hang onto it for a bit and see how you feel when the dust has settled. you'd might be surprised at how in a year or two you might not even care about it being from an ex etc.

 

[swingirl]

Enjoy your diamond today and never mind what someone may or may not care about in the future. It''s a beautiful expensive item that belongs to you. It was a gift from a friend and since there are no hard feelings about why you have it, you shouldn''t feel guilty for wanting to wear it.

Have it set as a pendant or save it until you are more comfortable with wearing it. But it''s yours and you should enjoy it.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I''d definitely wear it as a pendant. Then if down the road you meet someone who feels uncomfortable with it, sell it or give it to a friend or put it away for a while. Honestly, I can see it both ways -- it''s just a diamond, and that man is out of the picture so who cares vs. it''s a symbol of someone else''s previous promise to marry you. So if someone down the road objects to it, then you can figure out what to do. But for now, bling away!

 

[Moosejaw]

Donate it to me.

I would contact the people you purchased it from, and trade up, or trade across for a different stone. The stone shouldn't signify anything to you guys anymore anyways, and since it doesn't have "bad" feelings attached...do what you feel is best.

-G

 

[Ellen]

Date: 1/30/2007 6:05:59 PM
Author: IndieJones
And the chances of a guy asking where a piece of jewelry came from? .0005%

Just don''t volunteer the information and it''ll all be ok.

That''s what I was thinking.

 

[decodelighted]

Ha! I''m TERRIBLE. I say save up for a matching stone & make STUDS. No new boyfriend/future husband is gonna ask where you got your STUDS!

Though -- I can see the point about trading it in on a "fresh" stone & making a pendant. Is there any other shape you''ve wanted? (If you think your future e-ring would be a RB) ... could be fun to mix it up & that would really be "different" from the e-ring original.

 

[dmbfan]

Date: 1/30/2007 7:22:36 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 1/30/2007 6:05:59 PM
Author: IndieJones
And the chances of a guy asking where a piece of jewelry came from? .0005%

Just don't volunteer the information and it'll all be ok.

That's what I was thinking.

This is 100% correct. I'm a guy and if I saw a dimond a year ago, I would have never asked. After hanging out here, its a different story. So unless your new BF finds out about this site, you are safe. I really could care less if my GF wore something that her ex gave her, specially if it was something she liked.

ex: My GF ex husband left her an old gun that meant very much to him, and on the day he move all his stuff out he left this on her bed because she loved this thing, it doesn't bother me that she kept something sentimental. I understand she was married, I understand they did things together and shared their lives. it doesn't affect how I would feel. We have even gone through our old wedding albums together...

here, I'll trade you straight accross:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/probably-not-what-you-want-to-see.55158/

You can make a pendant and a pair of earing.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/30/2007 6:05:59 PM
Author: IndieJones
And the chances of a guy asking where a piece of jewelry came from? .0005%

Just don't volunteer the information and it'll all be ok.

You know... that's not entirely true. Most BF's I know of (including my ex's) didn't care where anything... except things with diamonds in them, came from. For some reason, they were smart enough to focus in on diamonds. I had a few pieces from ex's.... and always got rid of them. In one case I re-set a (beautiful) marquise sapphire with some small diamonds for a cousin's as a pendant for her (it was a 'promise' ring for me)-- as we give jewelry to brides for weddings. I figured if I tried to sell it... well, it just get re-used anyway regardless of its history.*shrug*

I would TOTALLY trade that sucker in. For a diamond to put into a Bellerina pendant

ETA: DF never cared where anything came from... but I did. My relationship with my jewelry giving long-term BF was not one that ended well).

 

[psaddict]

I would trade it in for earrings or a pendant, even though it means getting a smaller stone. I don''t know about most guys, but I think my guy would definitely ask if he saw me wearing a honkin'' 1.25 carat diamond around my neck! And I wouldn''t want to lie about where it was from, and would feel like in a way I hadn''t really "moved on" if I still had my engagement diamond from a past relationship around my neck every day. A guy having some old sweater or pair of socks from a former girlfriend isn''t quite the same thing.. I would think it would be like finding out that the $6,000 fancy watch your boyfriend wears every day was an engagement gift from his ex-fiancee. it would be odd. I''d get rid of it!

 

[movie zombie]

how many guys have posted that they saw nothing wrong with giving their new fiance the ring they bought for another woman? and were planning to do it?

i''m with the crew that says make something with it and wear it. number 1 there may never be another fiance. number 2 if he''s worth it he won''t care where you got it. and 3 if he''s really smart he''ll see the wisdom of your holding onto something that you would never get the value out of otherwise and the real important number 4: he may decide he needs to buy you a bigger diamond!

movie zombie

ps i don''t advocate lying about where it came from. but i would not add to an explanation that i still had a soft spot in my heart for the giver.

 

[psaddict]

Date: 1/30/2007 10:04:15 PM
Author: movie zombie
how many guys have posted that they saw nothing wrong with giving their new fiance the ring they bought for another woman? and were planning to do it?

i''m with the crew that says make something with it and wear it. number 1 there may never be another fiance. number 2 if he''s worth it he won''t care where you got it. and 3 if he''s really smart he''ll see the wisdom of your holding onto something that you would never get the value out of otherwise and the real important number 4: he may decide he needs to buy you a bigger diamond!

movie zombie

ps i don''t advocate lying about where it came from. but i would not add to an explanation that i still had a soft spot in my heart for the giver.

yikes!! giving a woman a ring they bought for another woman?!

I don''t think I''d assume most men are THAT insensitive to the meaning of an engagement ring or a diamond. And I would completely understand it if a new boyfriend of mine didn''t want a constant reminder of the guy who came before him, because I had the diamond from that guy around my neck. And what if the new guy couldn''t afford a stone as big? It might make him sad. I wouldn''t risk it!

 

[WildFlowers]

Psaddict, I agree. I''m in my later 20''s and the guys in my dating age range are all smart enough to
question where diamond jewelry came from. I think that general jewelry would not create much of a rift in
a relationship but engagement rings are supposed to be symbolic with a promise attached. If I put the same diamond in a pendant I can foresee that in the future someone may feel I havent moved on. As you all know, well cut
diamonds create quite a flash of sparklys and having right on my chest blinding him and reminding him may be
an issue

And honestly, It does bother me a little if a guy is still holding on to gifts from former relationships. But
clothes and things like that can slowly disappear over time

without creating a issue out of it.
Diamond are different. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WHOULD TRASH A DIAMOND!

 

[dmbfan]

Date: 1/31/2007 2:30:29 PM
Author: WildFlowers
Psaddict, I agree. I''m in my later 20''s and the guys in my dating age range are all smart enough to
question where diamond jewelry came from. I think that general jewelry would not create much of a rift in
a relationship but engagement rings are supposed to be symbolic with a promise attached. If I put the same diamond in a pendant I can foresee that in the future someone may feel I havent moved on. As you all know, well cut
diamonds create quite a flash of sparklys and having right on my chest blinding him and reminding him may be
an issue

And honestly, It does bother me a little if a guy is still holding on to gifts from former relationships. But
clothes and things like that can slowly disappear over time

without creating a issue out of it.
Diamond are different. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WHOULD TRASH A DIAMOND!

You didn''t get to answer my proposal above

 

[firebirdgold]

Hmmm, these are all good points! I''m going to change my advice: Trade it in for a pair of pretty earrings! Or just sell it back to the people you bought it from and use the money for a spa weekend!

I don''t know who you bought your diamond and ring from, but if you talk to them I''m sure you can work something out. You might not get the full price back but at least if you work with the same company they''ll know the diamond and will find it a good home.

Besides the fact that many of the other posters made very good points about not keeping it in some form, I realized that my previous advice was somewhat hypocritical. A previous SO gave me a beautiful silk kimono from Singapore. I hadn''t gotten rid of it because it''s so nice and I never mentioned it to my fi since I have no lingering feelings for my ex. But I find that I don''t wear it simply because I feel uncomfortable and guilty.. like I should have gotten rid of it.

So... sell or trade in the ring and move on with your life!

 

[perry]

Wildflowers:

I''m a guy and here are my thoughts...

While I try to avoid generalizations it can certainly be said that there is a group of guys who are more self centered and another group who are more outworldy centered.

The self centered ones will not appreciate that you have a diamond from another guy - regardless of who or under what situation. I think you are right that these people are going to ask where you got a diamond unless you have a lot of diamonds.

The other group - if they are caring and focused on making the best of things and accept that you have had and will have other freinds in your life... are not likely to be concerned that you have a diamond from another guy (if they ever ask).

So, the way I see it is what kind of guy do you want in the future? Perhaps you might want to think on that.

Now, should you find someone like myself... (and I am looking)... I''d say keep the diamond and enjoy it. Perhaps I''d match it and you''d have a great pair of earings. Perhaps I''d suggest adding a couple more to make a great 3 stone pendant. Perhaps other things...

Key is, there is nothing wrong with your owning a diamond - or most anything else - that was freely given by a freind. Please cherish the memories of your past freinds. Nothing wrong with that either.


I will admit that if after thinking on it - that you still worry; then I suggest that you dispose of it in whatever manner you please. There is no reason to hang onto anything that is only going to create a worry for a while. A mid ground would be to put it in a safe deposit box and let it sit. Who knows when having a spare diamond arround might help out even though you will never recover its original price - it is a handy item that can be converted to cash in the future.

Best of luck regardless of what you do.

Perry

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Yay, Perry! Now that is the right attitude!

I see nothing wrong with setting the diamond in another piece of jewelry. And I don''t think it matters where it came from. It was in the past. So if you start to date someone new and they ask who gave you the pendant, tell him it was a gift from an old boyfriend. Simple as that. It sets a good standard for future gifts!

But the question I haven''t seen addressed here is, did the diamond come from a PS vendor with a trade-in policy? If you can trade it in for a similar diamond by just paying maybe $100 plus a pendant setting, then go for it! But if you''d lose money, I wouldn''t consider getting rid of it. It is a gift from a friend. He had the right to take it back but wanted you to keep it.