people are so materialistic

[Insecure]

I just got a ring that is a 3 carat beautiful princess cut (that did cost quite a bit of money) but I was chatting with some ladies and they all had the same sized ring or bigger and they were all saying how they could never live with a small ring. Is it just me or is that a little too vain? I know I was very lucky to get the ring I got and I don't take it for granted. From what I've heard some people (mainly women) think that because I have a nice ring that I'm going to be arrogant. I'm almost afraid to wear my ring because I don't want people to think that. I love my ring and the man that gave it to me...I'm just a little insecure right now...

 

[valeria101]

I know

... got my entire sympaty!

Vain ? I wouldn't use such a mild word

It's almost nice to call 'that' vanity. Any alternatives ?

 

[Kamuelamom]

Congratulations on your new sparklie!

Is that an engagement ring?

Are these ladies your friends? Or casual acquaintances? I just got through responding to another thread about catty women.

Now I'm getting really fired up.

First of all that size of a ring is definitely going to get you some attention. If you are comfortable with it and are happy with the commitment to the man who gave it to you, then I suggest you enjoy it and weed out the cattiness of others who will say things, make assumptions, and try to make you feel bad--either which way (ie, too big, too small--BAH!) On the flip side of those types of comments, you may find many who will admire your ring and be complimentary of it.

When I first got my ring, although I immediately loved it and appreciated it, I was not used to wearing it so it took me a while to get used to the attention it sometimes brings. And it's not even close to a 3 carat center stone!

Try to just enjoy your ring. You will make your man happy knowing how much you love it and enjoy it.

 

[MrsFrk]

Ugh, who are these people!? They sound awful. Enjoy your ring for what it is, a beautiful piece of jewelry that has nothing to do with your true happiness. I've had no diamond at all, and I've had big diamonds, and I was a happy woman both with and without, because I have a wonderful husband, family, and my health.

I used to be self conscious about my jewelry. I've inherited much of it, and I used to feel like it was a bit much, like people would expect me to be a snob. I grew up very poor, and my husband and I were married with only gold bands. No diamonds in the vicinity. I finally realized that it was just STUFF, and I should just enjoy having it, or else bequeath it to someone else. I now go jogging every day wearing my bling, and couldn't be happier.

I used to work as a nanny in a very wealthy community, lemme tell ya- there were many, many women there with 5 carat + diamonds who were so unhappy they were this close to slitting their throats. They would have happily traded their rocks and giant houses for a husband who paid attention to them, and lives that fulfilled them.

Don't allow the shallow materialism of a few put a damper on the joy you get from your ring. It sounds just beautiful.

 

[Kamuelamom]

Forgot to say, please post pics when you have time. We love pics!

 

[Blueman33]

People assume you are arrogant because of the size of your ring, oh well.

People assume that if you drive a triple black -04 Porsche 997 that you are arrogant.

Forget 'em honey! Drive Baby Drive!

 

[glaucomflecken]

Three carats is SMALL???? Man, my one carat-er must be melee to them...

wear it with pride and love and maybe they are jealous of you and the wonderful relationship you have!

 

[oldminer]

It isn't one larger diamond or one wild Porsche 997 that makes someone truly materialistic.

I have wealthy friends that are just plain people with buying power. Some flash it around and others drive older, plain cars and just make do with things they value. I have friends of very moderate means who value other things more than flash, diamonds, fast cars, but they, too seem always to have a few things that make them feel good that are somewhat unnecessary.

Balance and moderation is the key to not coming across or being materialistic. Nearly everyone in our society has way more than they need and access to way more than most people anywhere on earth. We are all rich in material goods, even the poor in the USA have more material possessions than poor people in other places. Proving who you are by what you own is how someone who is materialistic makes their place in society. Possessions do not make a person good, kind, loving, beautiful or smart, but they do soothe the emotional pain of not having the perfect personality, the best looks,or all the talent some others might have. It is like a mask to hide behind and for many people it is their best defense.

Materialism is what keeps our economy afloat, but it is surely a mixed "blessing". Its good to be affluent, but the best feeling comes from helping others when they need a helping hand. Being rich does beat being poor, but how you live among your fellow men is much more a mark of your real self. What you own is for now, who you are is much more important and long lasting.

A big diamond is good for you. Buy as many as you can and enjoy them. Wear them, give yourself the pleasure. They don't hurt anyone. But don't think for a minute that a big rock makes a person a better individual. If anything, a big diamond or a flashy car puts you in a position of visibility where your actions are often noted with anger, animosity and jealousy. You can counteract these impressions by being a great person, not a pushy, or arrogant one.

 

[KittenKat]

LA is so very much that way.

I live in Beverly Hills... the rings are BIG. I've had friends say they NEED 2.5ct or bigger - regardless if their boyfriend can afford it!

It's pretty sad that women have to compete with their rings. They should be more excited they found a wonderful, loving man to start a life with.

The materialism here gets in the way of life far too much. I really don't think people take the time to appreciate what they have. They are so focused on the next thing to be acquired...

Just enjoy what you have - who cares what others think. Drive your Jag, wear your 4ct with pride and if 'friends' have negative things to say - it's their issue. Not yours!

 

[Blueman33]

----------------
On 10/5/2004 7:51:42 AM oldminer wrote:

It isn't one larger diamond or one wild Porsche 997 that makes someone truly materialistic.

I have wealthy friends that are just plain people with buying power. Some flash it around and others drive older, plain cars and just make do with things they value. I have friends of very moderate means who value other things more than flash, diamonds, fast cars, but they, too seem always to have a few things that make them feel good that are somewhat unnecessary.

Balance and moderation is the key to not coming across or being materialistic. Nearly everyone in our society has way more than they need and access to way more than most people anywhere on earth. We are all rich in material goods, even the poor in the USA have more material possessions than poor people in other places. Proving who you are by what you own is how someone who is materialistic makes their place in society. Possessions do not make a person good, kind, loving, beautiful or smart, but they do soothe the emotional pain of not having the perfect personality, the best looks,or all the talent some others might have. It is like a mask to hide behind and for many people it is their best defense.

Materialism is what keeps our economy afloat, but it is surely a mixed 'blessing'. Its good to be affluent, but the best feeling comes from helping others when they need a helping hand. Being rich does beat being poor, but how you live among your fellow men is much more a mark of your real self. What you own is for now, who you are is much more important and long lasting.

A big diamond is good for you. Buy as many as you can and enjoy them. Wear them, give yourself the pleasure. They don't hurt anyone. But don't think for a minute that a big rock makes a person a better individual. If anything, a big diamond or a flashy car puts you in a position of visibility where your actions are often noted with anger, animosity and jealousy. You can counteract these impressions by being a great person, not a pushy, or arrogant one.----------------

Well said.

 

[Momoftwo]

I have a friend who works on Capitol Hill in DC in a Senator's office. She says that most of the younger women she works with have said they expect at least 2-3 ct engagement rings. They are so hung up on the size of the ring and not what it stands for. She says she sees lots of divorces after just a few years (she's been on the Hill for 20+ yrs). And these women tend to live beyond their means just to keep up with each other and what they perceive as what they need to be.

If you were around a group of women with smaller stones, someone would probably say they would never want a big diamond and make it seem like you were being materialistic. So, it's all in the audience.

 

[fancyrock]

A big diamond does not = to being arrogant




Should we start looking at people's purses & wallets to see how BIG they are and what that means? A big purse or wallet just means they have stored a lot of junk in there (which they should go thru to purger some of them once in awhile), it doesn't mean MONEY.




In this world, no matter what you do or have, there will always be "some" people out there that's got something negative to say about you. Why let them get to you like that? Are they worth your time? (NO!) Enjoy your precious jewel and wear it proud....!!

 

[ivanadiamond]

I live in Manhattan beach, CA and women are always sizing up other women by their ring size, car they drive, outfit they are wearing, how skinny they are, and by their shoes and purses.

While I find this all completely superficial and dumb, I catch myself oohing and aahing sometimes too- but at the end of the day, you will always find someone with a bigger diamond, better car, more fabulous house, etc. so one just has to be happy with what they have at this particular time in their life and stop comparing themself with other people.

I would love to see pic's of the honker! Please post-

 

[noobie]

There is nothing to feel insecure about witha 3 carat or a 0.3 carat diamond for that matter.




Without going into a long discussion on this topic, I'll just relate a newspaper article I read about a guy suing the hospital for $45K of excessive charges. He got chest pains and had a stent put in with a two day stay. He didn't have insurance and was billed the full list price for the stay. Not commenting on the charges by the hosipital, but this guy had a $80K per year job and decided to lease a BMW over buying health insurance. One of the worst examples of materialism I think I've seen.

 

[Roz]

Do you feel great in the ring? Do you look down at your hand, and does it make you feel special? Does it remind you of the lovely guy who gave it to you?

If you think yes to any of these then grand!!

My mother has some fantastic rings, some of them came from my Gran and further up the family and some are her own. I think they are gorgeous, but when I comment on them she just says "you should see some of the sparklers that my friends have".

It''s a silly mentality, we don''t know the clarity or the colour of their diamonds, we don''t know how they came about them. For all we know, they could be conflict diamonds (eeps!!). They equally may be stunning, conflict free, colour D and Flawless.

Don''t feel ashamed, but NEVER say anything diminutive about someone else''s rings. I wouldn''t there is more to life, and as long as your diamonds have great associations for you, I won''t judge you just because I have to put sunglasses on if I approach you (because of that 3 ct sparkle he hee).

 

[MissGotRocks]

Date: 10/5/2004 7:51:42 AM
Author: oldminer
It isn''t one larger diamond or one wild Porsche 997 that makes someone truly materialistic.

I have wealthy friends that are just plain people with buying power. Some flash it around and others drive older, plain cars and just make do with things they value. I have friends of very moderate means who value other things more than flash, diamonds, fast cars, but they, too seem always to have a few things that make them feel good that are somewhat unnecessary.

Balance and moderation is the key to not coming across or being materialistic. Nearly everyone in our society has way more than they need and access to way more than most people anywhere on earth. We are all rich in material goods, even the poor in the USA have more material possessions than poor people in other places. Proving who you are by what you own is how someone who is materialistic makes their place in society. Possessions do not make a person good, kind, loving, beautiful or smart, but they do soothe the emotional pain of not having the perfect personality, the best looks,or all the talent some others might have. It is like a mask to hide behind and for many people it is their best defense.

Materialism is what keeps our economy afloat, but it is surely a mixed ''blessing''. Its good to be affluent, but the best feeling comes from helping others when they need a helping hand. Being rich does beat being poor, but how you live among your fellow men is much more a mark of your real self. What you own is for now, who you are is much more important and long lasting.

A big diamond is good for you. Buy as many as you can and enjoy them. Wear them, give yourself the pleasure. They don''t hurt anyone. But don''t think for a minute that a big rock makes a person a better individual. If anything, a big diamond or a flashy car puts you in a position of visibility where your actions are often noted with anger, animosity and jealousy. You can counteract these impressions by being a great person, not a pushy, or arrogant one.

I could not agree with you more. Your comments certainly put alot of things in perspective,

 

[Modified Brilliant]

Date: 10/4/2004 11:23:51 PM
Author:Insecure
I just got a ring that is a 3 carat beautiful princess cut (that did cost quite a bit of money) but I was chatting with some ladies and they all had the same sized ring or bigger and they were all saying how they could never live with a small ring. Is it just me or is that a little too vain? I know I was very lucky to get the ring I got and I don''t take it for granted. From what I''ve heard some people (mainly women) think that because I have a nice ring that I''m going to be arrogant. I''m almost afraid to wear my ring because I don''t want people to think that. I love my ring and the man that gave it to me...I''m just a little insecure right now...

Lucky Lady!!
How times have changed! When I was working in my Dad''s retail jewelry store in the mid to late 70''s, most guys were buying 1/4''s, 1/3''s and 1/2''s RARELY over 3/4 ct....and we were 5 miles from Boston. In those days most small independents carried very few 1 ct. diamonds. Who asked about color, clarity and cut back then??? No internet...no Pricescope to educate!!
Enjoy your ring and flaunt it!

www.metrojewelryappraisers.com

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 10/5/2004 6:32:22 PM
Author: ivanadiamond
I live in Manhattan beach, CA and women are always sizing up other women by their ring size, car they drive, outfit they are wearing, how skinny they are, and by their shoes and purses.

This is so true, but gosh, I just don''t understand why.

If I''m going to size people up, I''m more more interested in what comes out of their mouths than what they adorn themselves with.

 

[glitterata]

Note the posting dates--this is a perennially interesting topic, but a rather old thread.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Date: 1/22/2006 5:24:20 PM
Author: glitterata
Note the posting dates--this is a perennially interesting topic, but a rather old thread.

You''re right - I didn''t pay attention to the date. This is the second old post dug up today. . . hmmmmmm.

 

[Mara]

Date: 1/22/2006 7:36:27 PM
Author: MissGotRocks

Date: 1/22/2006 5:24:20 PM
Author: glitterata
Note the posting dates--this is a perennially interesting topic, but a rather old thread.

You''re right - I didn''t pay attention to the date. This is the second old post dug up today. . . hmmmmmm.

Hmm and by the same person on a similar topic...aka materialism with larger diamonds and the other one was upgrading in the US...

The newbie FAQ should have a line about revisiting old posts...hehe.