Payment of Minister

[firstbase32]

So the minister that is doing our wedding is doing his very first wedding. We asked him to marry us because he is a VERY close friend of ours and he''s been a huge part of our relationship with Christ. I was wondering how much do you guys think we should pay him? When we asked him he was very excited and we never sat down and talked about a price. I was wondering what the normal price for a minister is and also what would be enough that he would know we def. appreciate him. I am sure the price he would charge would be much less than a normal minister simply because it is his first time marrying and also we''re very close friends...but I also want to pay him a nice amount because he''s taken alot of time to prepare for this ceremony.

 

[rockzilla]

I would look for what other officients charge...I have heard around the ~$250 range, but this was for people doing it professionally/indepedantly (as opposed to being a minister and doing it on the side).

One thing I would keep in mind though, is this advice letter I once read that was sent to Ann Landers. It was from the wife of a clergy-member who frequently performed wedding ceremonies. The [priest, minister, can''t remember which it was] and his family were living on a very limited budget, as most people in the religious services are. The wife was writing in about all of the people who were married by him that either did not compensate him at all, or were very stingy about it. A lot of people assumed that it was "part of his job," but the fact is a lot of time and effort go into preparing for and conducting the ceremony, and given the rather low pay scale already, the wedding fees were a substantial portion of income for his family.

So, I would say to try and compensate him at the "going rate" or just below...if he feels that because of his relationship with you he would rather not accept...he can tell you, and it can be your wedding gift. Or, he may ask you to donate the fee to the church or other charitable organization.

 

[sarie_j]

My officiant flat out refused to take money from us, so we''re going to be making a donation to the church in the amount of $300, which is what I figure I would have spent.

 

[San Diego Bride]

i''d find out what the average rate is in your area. in san diego it is $250. our minister (also a friend of ours) quoted us a lower price, but we felt more comfortable paying him $250.

 

[FireGoddess]

Our interfaith minister charged $250. With the tip, we gave her about $300 I think.

 

[monarch64]

Ours was $200, however my MIL was on the vestry then and insisted on she and my FIL taking care of that payment, so DH and I didn''t really have much to do with it. I would think between $200-300 would do the trick.

 

[Maisie]

When I got married my minister wouldn''t accept anything as we were members of the church. I''m not sure if yours would be the same. We didn''t have to pay anything for the use of the church either

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Our pastor wouldn''t accept anything for the service, as he said it was part of his job as our pastor, and that he was honored to perform the *duty.* What we did was make an offering to the church, which we included in our thank you letter/note (it was LONG) to him and his wife (we LOVE her!!!) for all they did as far as helping us prepare for marriage and the wedding. They really were like mentors through it all, and even though we now live a ways away from there, I still hope they remain as mentors to us!!

I think we may go back to that church tomorrow. I miss them so, and Paul feels the same way.

 

[cara]

If you all are good friends then he *might* not be looking at this as a professional service but rather as his gift to his friends, but I would be sure to gingerly inquire to avoid misunderstanding. Then either flat out pay him $250-300 or get him an equivalent value gift...