Partying FB photos: acceptable or not?

[justginger]

Momhappy mentioned in the 'not fired teacher' thread that she once avoided interviewing a potential babysitter because the girl had drinking/partying photos on FB (and that subsequently demonstrated lack of common sense).

I disagree. I am an extremely responsible individual, and there are photos of me on FB, of nights out. Hen's parties (including my own), drinks after work, dinner parties, a trip to Thailand with buckets on the beach, work Christmas functions. That being said, they are not the entirety of my photos - I can imagine being skeptical of someone who has NO OTHER normal snaps. To me, those are social events, no laws are being broken, I have no addictions. I just don't see the link of social drinking/fun time photos and a lack of common sense or irresponsibility. I think it shows that people have important and healthy social bonds. Some of the most responsible people I know have party photos on FB, including top tier consultants, medical site directors, etc. Anyone who dismissed their work ability would be missing out on impeccable care (which could likely save their lives).

Is this a generational difference? Is this a US/Oz cultural difference (drinking in Australia is very much the norm - I have been asked multiple times, at dinners and functions, if I am pregnant when I have refused a glass of wine or stated that I didn't feel like drinking)? Or is this just a 'momhappy and justginger' difference? Do others feel strongly one way or the other?

 

[manderz]

My situation is a little abnormal. For me, it's a HELL to the NO. However, I work at an agency that treats substance addiction. It's just not a good idea for me. I'm not a big drinker anyway.

 

[packrat]

If it was an 18 year old girl posting party pics then yeah, the girl needs to get a brain and figure it out. If it's a legal adult, I don't think it should be a big deal. We ALL have lives outside of our work. Well...not me really, but I'm working on the social anxiety.

If JD wants to go out and have a drink, should he be able to? Yes. Should he be able to post a picture of himself at a bar? Yes. He's not on duty, he's not in uniform. I'm not going to a bar wearing a Tshirt that says "X School District Special Ed Teacher" and wearing my ID badge. But I also don't live at the school. I have a life outside of my employment.

If it wasn't inappropriate, I'd add I HAD HOT NAKED SEX YEHAW to pics of my kids on FB b/c guess what viewing public, I had to spread 'em to get 'em, so think about them apples for a second. Oh who'm I kidding, I'm totally inappropriate.

Mostly just be smart about what you post, make your profile private, don't add people you don't know or don't really "trust" as your friends.

Guess how JD monitors idiots and their drug/crime deals in town?

 

[kenny]

Some people are just ugly and judgmental and see themselves as superior.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Momhappy mentioned in the 'not fired teacher' thread that she once avoided interviewing a potential babysitter because the girl had drinking/partying photos on FB (and that subsequently demonstrated lack of common sense).

I disagree. I am an extremely responsible individual, and there are photos of me on FB, of nights out. Hen's parties (including my own), drinks after work, dinner parties, a trip to Thailand with buckets on the beach, work Christmas functions. That being said, they are not the entirety of my photos - I can imagine being skeptical of someone who has NO OTHER normal snaps. To me, those are social events, no laws are being broken, I have no addictions. I just don't see the link of social drinking/fun time photos and a lack of common sense or irresponsibility. I think it shows that people have important and healthy social bonds. Some of the most responsible people I know have party photos on FB, including top tier consultants, medical site directors, etc. Anyone who dismissed their work ability would be missing out on impeccable care (which could likely save their lives).

Pics please!...

 

[pandabee]

Well, I think there is a difference between a picture of someone who looks completely schwasty-face vs. a picture of someone with a drink in their hand at a social function. The first is not acceptable, the second is.

 

[TC1987]

Ill-advised, probably. I voted "other." If posting party pictures, I'd recommend being very selective about which pictures are posted. Generally, the less other people know about one's personal life, the better. I'd rule out any controversial locations, dive bars, strange attire, etc. People are so judgmental nowadays. There's just too much over-sharing going on. My private life is private. I am the dullest person on Earth, if you believe my Facebook page.

 

[justginger]

It appears it's not a generational difference for my relatives - just logged into FB, and in my news feed is a new photo (of my aunt) titled, 'Another successful committee meeting.' It shows 6 women, none under the age of 60, holding wine glasses, with seven different bottles of open wine on their table. I think it's great: good friends, a few glasses of wine, clearly having a fun time.

Is it more likely that a photo like this would be deemed inappropriate if the women were in their 20s or 30s?

 

[MissGotRocks]

Unfortunately, you cannot know everyone viewing your FB page. You'd like to think that they would all be fair minded, reasonable people that would certainly be able to separate your private, off duty life from your work persona. Sadly, that is not the case. Clearly companies are perusing all forms of social media to check on their potential employees. Is it right, fair or decent? Don't know but the truth is that it could be used against you in job situations and you may never know it happened. You could simply be passed over based on what they saw and what assumptions they drew from those pictures.

Someone once said if you don't want it posted on the front page of the NY Times, don't post it online. Comparison seems a bit over the top but it could very well be true for some professions or jobs. Life just ain't always fair.

 

[movie zombie]

It appears it's not a generational difference for my relatives - just logged into FB, and in my news feed is a new photo (of my aunt) titled, 'Another successful committee meeting.' It shows 6 women, none under the age of 60, holding wine glasses, with seven different bottles of open wine on their table. I think it's great: good friends, a few glasses of wine, clearly having a fun time.

Is it more likely that a photo like this would be deemed inappropriate if the women were in their 20s or 30s?

the women in the over 60 picture are not job hunting and probably at the end of their careers. and yes in AU the idea of tippling regularly and heavily is much more accepted.....or so it seems to me.

the 20 or 30 somethings are job hunting and/or starting their careers.....no go with the picture, imo.
employers do and will search for such things.

for me it is a privacy issue....so I don't FB at all.

 

[JaneSmith]

I voted no. I do, however, think it is mildly irresponsible to not have one's privacy settings locked down tight.

 

[LLJsmom]

It is acceptable in the sense that it appears to be the norm that these pictures are posted by many people. Is it smart to do so? Likely not b/c different people have different standards and while you the poster may think it's fine, not everyone the poster knows or can see the picture may agree. And in the case it is a potential employer seeing that photo or a person the employer knows, that may not be the smartest thing to do. I wouldn't do it.

 

[Trekkie]

Depends on the photos, I guess.

I have scads of photos of me out partying with my 20 year old brother and my students but there's an unwritten rule that we only post photos where we all look good. As the alcohol levels increase the photo taking decreases

I don't drink and my FB settings are quite tight so I'm not particularly worried.

Justginger, I think it's only really a problem if the photos are of underage drinking, or falling down drinking and set to be viewable by the general public. I honestly do think that this does demonstrate a level of irresponsibility.

A group of people (of any age) socially drinking a few bottles of wine? Pfffft... Nothing particularly salacious there!

 

[dk168]

One of my colleagues is doing a management course geared for high flyers, and was informed by one of the tutors quite early on that prospective employers do scan and use social media sites to research on their potential employees.

Since then, she has cut down on her time spent on FB, and deleted some of her photos.

LinkedIn is seen as more acceptable as it is more to do with networking.

I seldom use social media sites (have non-active accounts with FB and LinkedIn), except for the special interest boards I frequent, such as PS, PG and one on camping.

DK

 

[justginger]

I voted no. I do, however, think it is mildly irresponsible to not have one's privacy settings locked down tight.

Perhaps this is an issue that has more sub-issues than I originally considered.

My FB profile is locked down tight. So tight that the public can't view my friends, so a potential employer couldn't even message a FB friend to ask them to C&P my photos.

I suppose this is a 'photos vary' situation, really. The photos I am thinking of are things like group shots at a bar for someone's birthday or a Halloween party, drinks in hand, big smiles and bright eyes. Not clearly sloshed, falling over, losing articles of clothing sort of photos. I can see how those kinds could, and would, be an embarrassment. Out of curiosity, I perused all of my photos and considered whether I would be ashamed if any were printed on the front page of the NYT and the answer is a resounding no. No near nudity, no reckless behaviour, nothing incriminating.

I think I may chalk this one up to a cultural difference. If my employer were unhappy with my partying (but appropriate) FB photos, she would have to fire herself (and her supervisors!) because they're in them too.

 

[missy]

I don't view this topic as harshly as momhappy does.Even though I am more of a see the world in black and white than grey shades type of person as it seems momhappy is too. I don't think that teacher who had a picture posted on Facebook of a drink in her hand during vacation should have been asked to resign. That does seem overboard to me.

When I did my residency at West Point the colonel who was the chief of the clinic where I was working told me (my early twenty something self) during my welcoming discussion that what I do in my free time is still a reflection on West Point so I must conduct myself at all times as the professional that I am and never forget that. Good words to live by IMO always.

So no I don't post any questionable photos on my Facebook account but then again I don't behave in a way that I feel would ever be compromising or embarrassing in any way but it's always good to be mindful because you never know.

And privacy settings go a long way too. :big smile:

ETA: Asked my dh what he thought about this topic and he said the bigger question is should one be on Facebook and he thinks not. (He isn't on Facebook but I am).

 

[momhappy]

Momhappy mentioned in the 'not fired teacher' thread that she once avoided interviewing a potential babysitter because the girl had drinking/partying photos on FB (and that subsequently demonstrated lack of common sense).

I disagree. I am an extremely responsible individual, and there are photos of me on FB, of nights out. Hen's parties (including my own), drinks after work, dinner parties, a trip to Thailand with buckets on the beach, work Christmas functions. That being said, they are not the entirety of my photos - I can imagine being skeptical of someone who has NO OTHER normal snaps. To me, those are social events, no laws are being broken, I have no addictions. I just don't see the link of social drinking/fun time photos and a lack of common sense or irresponsibility. I think it shows that people have important and healthy social bonds. Some of the most responsible people I know have party photos on FB, including top tier consultants, medical site directors, etc. Anyone who dismissed their work ability would be missing out on impeccable care (which could likely save their lives).

Is this a generational difference? Is this a US/Oz cultural difference (drinking in Australia is very much the norm - I have been asked multiple times, at dinners and functions, if I am pregnant when I have refused a glass of wine or stated that I didn't feel like drinking)? Or is this just a 'momhappy and justginger' difference? Do others feel strongly one way or the other?

Actually, that's not exactly what I said, so using me (or what you think are my opinions) as the opposition in this thread, is not fair.
I didn't say that the girl had a lack of common sense, I said that her actions of not just posting the images in the first place, but also for not having any privacy settings on her FB page, may have demonstrated a lack of common sense in my opinion. These were not just one or two simple images of her standing there holding a beer - there were multiple pictures of where she appeared to be drunk/partying. I also didn't say that all drinking/partying pictures on FB were inappropriate - I said that you have to be careful with what you post.
The main reason why I elected not to interview her was because I got probably 20 applications for that job and I routinely check FB pages as part of my process. I was looking for a regular, weekend evening sitter and from the looks of her FB page, It would appear as though she had a pretty active social life on the weekends. I felt that she might not be available to meet my needs. That, in conjunction with her partying pictures, put her application on the bottom of the pile. So while I may not have found her FB images all that appropriate, it's not the main reason why I elected not to interview her.
As far as the topic in general is concerned, I think that people do need to be careful with what they put out there for the world to see, but I don't think that we necessarily have a complete difference of opinion, justginger. I don't think that a few, harmless pictures here and there (with maybe a glass of wine in your hand) is inappropriate. Would I post drunk pictures of myself? No, but I'm sure that there are images out there of me holding a glass of champagne at a party, a charity event, etc. I think that if you're routinely posting drunk photos of yourself on FB (whether you're a teacher, a college student, whatever) and you have no privacy settings on your FB page then, yes, I do think that at some point there is some inappropriateness there. I also happen to think that discussing politics on FB is not appropriate (as made evident during the last election), but that is another thread entirely

 

[VRBeauty]

It appears it's not a generational difference for my relatives - just logged into FB, and in my news feed is a new photo (of my aunt) titled, 'Another successful committee meeting.' It shows 6 women, none under the age of 60, holding wine glasses, with seven different bottles of open wine on their table. I think it's great: good friends, a few glasses of wine, clearly having a fun time.

Is it more likely that a photo like this would be deemed inappropriate if the women were in their 20s or 30s?

the women in the over 60 picture are not job hunting and probably at the end of their careers. and yes in AU the idea of tippling regularly and heavily is much more accepted.....or so it seems to me.

the 20 or 30 somethings are job hunting and/or starting their careers.....no go with the picture, imo.
employers do and will search for such things.

for me it is a privacy issue....so I don't FB at all.

Ditto. Acceptable, or advisable, or irresponsible? They can be very different things, and each can vary depending on the circumstances.

I'm a pretty private person, so my facebook page is locked down pretty tight and, I actually post very little that's truly personal there or anywhere on the web. When I was working I had a very strict policy of not having anyone related to work, including people who were close friends in real life and friends who had recently retired, on my facebook "friends" list. It was partially a privacy thing, partially because I didn't want professional spats etc to spill over into my private space, and partially because I didn't want my colleagues to see how boring my life really was.

ETA for what it's worth, I think momhappy's use of fb to help screen potential babysitters is both reasonable and prudent. Why wouldn't you use it as a screening tool if you had it available? And if someone, particularly a young person, presents a public face that includes a lot of partying and apparent drunkeness, why wouldn't you be wary of hiring them to watch your children?

 

[momhappy]

It appears it's not a generational difference for my relatives - just logged into FB, and in my news feed is a new photo (of my aunt) titled, 'Another successful committee meeting.' It shows 6 women, none under the age of 60, holding wine glasses, with seven different bottles of open wine on their table. I think it's great: good friends, a few glasses of wine, clearly having a fun time.

Is it more likely that a photo like this would be deemed inappropriate if the women were in their 20s or 30s?

And again, this demonstrates how our opinions on this subject really aren't all that different. I would see nothing inappropriate about a picture showing a bunch of women sitting around a table with wine glasses.
This is not a black & white issue - it is not either appropriate or inappropriate. There are other factors that come into play. A HS teacher was fired from her job simply because in several FB photos, she was holding alcohol while on vacation. In that particular scenario, holding/drinking alcohol and sharing the images on social media was considered inappropriate by her school administrators (which I do not agree with by the way), but in a different scenario, those same images would not have been deemed inappropriate in any way. This is why I can't vote in your poll because I don't think that there are just two choices (irresponsible, yes or no?) - it's more complicated than that.

 

[momhappy]

It appears it's not a generational difference for my relatives - just logged into FB, and in my news feed is a new photo (of my aunt) titled, 'Another successful committee meeting.' It shows 6 women, none under the age of 60, holding wine glasses, with seven different bottles of open wine on their table. I think it's great: good friends, a few glasses of wine, clearly having a fun time.

Is it more likely that a photo like this would be deemed inappropriate if the women were in their 20s or 30s?

the women in the over 60 picture are not job hunting and probably at the end of their careers. and yes in AU the idea of tippling regularly and heavily is much more accepted.....or so it seems to me.

the 20 or 30 somethings are job hunting and/or starting their careers.....no go with the picture, imo.
employers do and will search for such things.

for me it is a privacy issue....so I don't FB at all.

Ditto. Acceptable, or advisable, or irresponsible? They can be very different things, and each can vary depending on the circumstances.

I'm a pretty private person, so my facebook page is locked down pretty tight and, I actually post very little that's truly personal there or anywhere on the web. When I was working I had a very strict policy of not having anyone related to work, including people who were close friends in real life and friends who had recently retired, on my facebook "friends" list. It was partially a privacy thing, partially because I didn't want professional spats etc to spill over into my private space, and partially because I didn't want my colleagues to see how boring my life really was.

ETA for what it's worth, I think momhappy's use of fb to help screen potential babysitters is both reasonable and prudent. Why wouldn't you use it as a screening tool if you had it available? And if someone, particularly a young person, presents a public face that includes a lot of partying and apparent drunkeness, why wouldn't you be wary of hiring them to watch your children?

Exactly! Many potential employers use FB as a screening tool. I don't know which I find more disturbing: having photos that I might consider inappropriate or not having your FB page locked down so that a complete stranger can access your FB page

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

Not completely on topic, but in jury selection for the Zimmerman trial in Florida, three potential jurers were disqualified on the basis of their facebook pages. They showed a racial bias on the info they put on their facebook page.

I think people should be very careful what they put on there..i will never have a face book page.


Annette

 

[justginger]

Momhappy, I'm glad you've clarified because I clearly misunderstood your opinion. I was not trying to speak on your behalf, your comment just gave me pause and made me consider the topic more closely. It would have never occurred to me to pass on a potential employee due to what came to my mind when I thought of 'party photos.' I suspect that my imagined version of those photos are perhaps more tame than what others immediately think.

FWIW, I completely agree re: privacy. I don't understand why anyone would leave themselves open to strangers stalking their online lives. That IS irresponsible, and scary.

 

[momhappy]

Momhappy, I'm glad you've clarified because I clearly misunderstood your opinion. I was not trying to speak on your behalf, your comment just gave me pause and made me consider the topic more closely. It would have never occurred to me to pass on a potential employee due to what came to my mind when I thought of 'party photos.' I suspect that my imagined version of those photos are perhaps more tame than what others immediately think.

FWIW, I completely agree re: privacy. I don't understand why anyone would leave themselves open to strangers stalking their online lives. That IS irresponsible, and scary.

No worries, justginger - it's not that you misunderstood me, I just think that some clarity was needed. It's an interesting topic for a thread, but I just wanted to ensure that my thoughts/opinions were being expressed in ways that I felt comfortable with.

Also, when it comes to hiring babysitters, I take that responsibility very seriously. I don't just bring in random people to watch my kids. I put time, effort, care, concern into finding the perfect fit for my family. We hire sitters that plan to be around for a while (like a year or more) because we like the consistency. Our children like knowing who's coming in to care for them and we build special relationships with our sitters. At any given time, we have two sitters (and only two) and we rotate them each weekend for a date night for my husband and I. We take comfort in the fact that we truly know & trust our sitters - that means that we can go out, relax and enjoy ourselves.

 

[AGBF]

Within the past few days I heard yet another story from one of my friends of a young man losing an opportunity based on pictures on his Facebook pages. I believe that a potential employer had requested that he sign a waiver allowing the employer to have access to all Internet and social media references to him and then the would-be employer had found heavy partying pictures from his college days. I just visited with one of my oldest friends yesterday (the mother of my godson) and she has two sons in their 30's. I am trying to recall if it was she who told me this story. I wish I could recall more about it.

It reminded me a bit of something that happened to my first cousin's son. He is very bright and a very high achiever. He graduated from William and Mary with a degree in economics and fluency in Chinese and then lived and taught in China. He received an offer of a job from an investment bank and answered, as far as he knew, truthfully, to questions about his history of arrests. Then after having been accepted for the job he was notified that he would not be hired after all. An infraction for noise that his fraternity house had received in Virginia (playing music too loudly) was a misdemeanor and on his record. He was considered to have lied on the job application, so the offer was rescinded.

Luckily he decided to go on to grad school and now has an MBA from Tuck (Dartmouth), so he can find another job! But one has to be careful about youthful indiscretions; they can come back to bite you (one)!

Deb

 

[TooPatient]

Depends on the "partying" photos and who they allow to see them. Teachers just posting their outside of school lives for friends is probably just fine. Teachers posting wild drug using nude parties for students to see if probably not fine. (fill in whatever profession you want to here, teacher just came to mind as there was a news story about this recently)

If it is under-aged drinking/drug use Not okay.

Adults sipping wine over/after dinner Okay.

Half nude falling down drunk Not okay.


I figure in technology filled days like these, there may be someone taking my picture any time I'm out of my house (heck... with "A" and her computers & digital camera it could even be in my house!) and behave accordingly. I see no problem with drinking a bit (since I am an adult) and would do that regardless of who was to see. If a person doesn't want to hire me because I had a glass of wine at dinner, I'd rather not work for them.

Each person has to figure out what they are comfortable with and choose accordingly.

My assumption is that anything I put out there on the internet (including e-mails) is something that others could potentially see. If I'm okay with others seeing it then I'll post/e-mail otherwise I won't.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I don't post anything that I would be embarrassed for anyone else to see. I would also not hire a teenager to care for my small children who had pictures on FB of them drunk and partying (especially since legal age is 21), and I would also check out the kinds of things they talked about. You can tell a lot about some people on FB if they choose to not care what others think!

 

[monarch64]

It's acceptable, but it's also irresponsible, in my opinion. I see Facebook as "fakebook" actually. People post things based on how they would like to be perceived by others. So if you're posting pics of yourself partying and letting loose I'm going to assume that's how you want people to see you--as a party animal! I think momhappy's use of FB as a screening tool was absolutely the right thing to do. Our sitters don't have those sorts of pictures visible on their pages, and if they did we would not employ them. Save that sh*t for snapchat.

Is Facebook even going to be relevant after a couple more years?

 

[luv2sparkle]

I think it depends on the photos. Having a drink in your hand or on the table is not a problem, but I think anyone who even wants to post photos of them obviously drunk or in anyway impaired lacks in some judgment. It certainly is not showing a person in the best light. No judgement for the partying if that's what someone wants to do but I wouldn't post the photos, even with locked down privacy settings. But that is probably just me.

 

[Stephny691]

I have partying photos from a few years ago at Uni and I HATE them- problem with FB is that they were uploaded by other people, I can't take them down. I can remove the ones I put up, but not the ones other people did- sigh. I have regret for those pictures, they're not bad per se, there's no underage drinking and no nudity- just very drunk! Which is never graceful and really cameras should be removed from people at the door of clubs I feel, and then returned to you on your way home!
But thanks to this thread I have just gone through all the FB privacy settings I can find and limited everything I can! So thank you for highlighting that, I thought it was private already- nope! Loads more options.

 

[SB621]

I haven't read any response so just posting and running to lunch.


Totally acceptable. FB to me is where I posted funny, stupid or whatever the heck I want things. It does not define me nor does it show everything about my work ethic or personal ethics. I think half the photos on there now are from when i was in college and partying. My 19 year cousin has tons of photos where she has a beer in hand (she also lives in a country where the drinking age is 1. Is that saying she is irresponsible? Are you now judging her photos based off her holding a beer and being underage though it was perfectly legal at the time?

For me judging someone by what they put on social media is just silly. I think most people have completely different personalities or perhaps the word is persona, online then they do in person. I would never make a final decision on a person's character until I have met them and decided for myself. I partied hard in my younger days and really don't make any apologies for it. It was a fantastic time