Parties - how many is too many?

[Independent Gal]

So, after insisting that I didn't want ANYONE to make a fuss for the wedding, and telling my Gals that they are expected to do exactly NOTHING except hang out with me on my wedding day, it seems that everyone is gearing up and planning parties anyway.

My mom's friend has offered to host a little shower / party for mom's friends and those of mine in town the week before the wedding. And now my bff / moh is asking for my sister's e-mail because she's thinking of throwing a party / bachelorette as well.

So now I'm worried that my girls are going to feel a little overwhelmed, with so many events and invitations, and I'm wondering whether to say 'No' to one or both of these.

When I put myself in their position, I mostly think it would be fun. But maybe that's because, uh, I'm not putting myself in their position, and the idea of getting to hang out with all my best friends in ONE PLACE for th first and only time in my life is just really exciting.

Anyway, the proposed schedule now looks something like this:

Wednesdsay night? Mom's friend throws shower / party with in town guests (that would likely include 4 of my maids)
Friday night - bachelorette party
Saturday daytime - OPTIONAL hiking / hot spring soaking OR people can sightsee on their own
Saturday night - drop-in scotch tasting and nibbles at my dad's place (again, OPTIONAL)
Sunday - wedding day, we hang out, eat burgers, get our hair done. I get hitched.

Does that sound like too much?

 

[Fancy605]

I was in the same situation. I told my bridesmaids they just had to show up and look pretty, but then a ridiculous amount of showers/parties happened. I think there were 5 showers a party, and a bachelorette party. I was grateful for the parties, but I didn''t want my poor bridal part to feel assaulted with invitations, so I told my BMs not to worry about coming to any of the showers/parties unless they just wanted to, and some of them came to some of the things, there were others where none of them came. Everyone came to the bachelorette party, which I was glad about because it gave them all an opportunity to meet and hang out and meet some of my other friends.

The weekend of the wedding, all 4 girls came to everything, which consisted of:

Thursday night: A bridesmaids retreat/slumber party/eat, drink, and watch movies night hosted by my mom at a lovely horse farm.
Friday: A bridesmaids luncheon at the same farm, A mani/pedi appointment, the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, AND then an after party (which I left early), then 3 of the BMs came and slept over at my place, which was fun.
Saturday: A brunch hosted by my godmother, our hair appointments, then the wedding!

I told them they shouldn''t worry if they couldn''t come to anything, but there were only 4 of them, and all of them were able to work out their schedules to come.

Anyway, everyone seemed to enjoy coming to all of it. No one complained about it, and the girls didn''t really have any responsibility other than to have fun and hang out and enjoy themselves. It was busy, and I guess we all felt like we were doing a lot of running around, but all of them get along REALLY well, so it was fun running around.

Anyway, the point is, it doesn''t sound like too much to invite them to. In fact, it sounds like it would be fun, especially since you just want them to come hang out and not be part of the planning etc.

 

[MMM]

i think as long as you tell them that their attendance isn''t mandatory at every event, it should be fine!!
everything sounds like fun : )

my fiance''s sister got married this past summer and i was a bridesmaid and she had:
wednesday - a manicure, pedicure, brunch party for the bridal party and close friends
thrusday - kick-off event (a cocktail party to which everyone invited to the wedding was invited - about 200 ppl)
friday - rehearsal dinner (again, every person was invited)
saturday - the wedding day
sunday - morning after breakfast

i was a lot of events, but everything was fun and i certainly didn''t mind attending everything and neither did the 6 other bridesmaids. we all had a great time. i think the only event that wasn''t packed was the morning after bfast since most ppl chose to sleep in!

 

[monarch64]

I don''t think your potential itinerary sounds like too much at all. Enough of the events are optional and I doubt if any of your gals will complain about HAVING to go to everything since they are not under contract or anything. We had a pretty packed wedding weekend just by getting married on a Sunday and with my family and friends coming from OOT...here''s a little breakdown:

Friday evening: rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
Saturday: bridal shower luncheon (my side of the family and maids included)
Sunday: wedding

The weekend previous was my bacholorette party, and my SILs hosted a shower for me that was attended by DH''s side of the family and my friends here. Only my MOH attended every single event, she was a trouper and although I certainly gave her every opportunity to decline, she insisted on being at all of my bridal activities, she was great.

 

[gtn]

As long as you let them know they aren''t required to attend any of the events (but the big show of course), I don''t think you have to worry.

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, that''s good to hear. I''ll just make sure everyone knows it''s all optional. I''m particularly concerned about my sister, who will have a set of exams starting shortly after the wedding. Not, come to think of it, like she has ever started studying that far in advance before.

 

[KimberlyH]

As long as it''s optional I wouldn''t worry about it either. I think they all sound like fun things to do! And if your friends are all from out of town they''ll probably enjoy having things to do in a place they aren''t familiar with.