Parents with 2+ kids, do you have a favorite?

[kenny]

Parents with more than one child, do you have a favorite?

 

[4_cs]

It changes all the time. They all think they are not the favorite and that one of the others is the favorite. Love them all equally but my favorite changes like the weather.

 

[Dancing Fire]

No, they are both PITB!...

 

[ringbling17]

I have four kids and I don't have a favorite, but instead I have my easy one, my hardheaded one, my smart one, my average one, my baby one, my spoiled brat one, my non-talking one, my picky one, my crying one, etc. Depending on what time of the day it is and how busy I am, each one can be the "chosen" one. Each of them are more than "one" thing at a time though.

For example, my smart one is also my PITA one, hardheaded one, and picky one. She is also my oldest one. But do I appreciate her smartness, especially when I have to help the other two with hw because I know she won't need it and she can help me out with them.

My 8 year old is my average one, but also my easy, non-picky and responsible one. She is a breeze to take care of, can handle herself, does more than she is told, but is not so great at school. She doesn't get Math like my oldest one. But she helps take care of her younger brother and sister and doesn't need to be told what to do.

My 5 year old is my smart one as well, but she is also my crying, non-talking one and my spoiled brat one. She gets whatever she wants from her daddy because she is daddy's little girl. She just recently started talking and it turns out she is very very smart. So smart that even though she doesn't talk all the time, she knows exactly how to get what she wants from us.

My son is three so he is my spoiled brat one as well, my crying one, my picky one, my non-talking one, my baby one, etc. If I am really honest, I would say that I do baby him because he is my last and I don't want him to grow up too fast. He can definitely be my PITA one as well.

So, none are my favorite, but all of them are loved the same because they bring me joy in different ways.

 

[missy]

I have four kids and I don't have a favorite, but instead I have my easy one, my hardheaded one, my smart one, my average one, my baby one, my spoiled brat one, my non-talking one, my picky one, my crying one, etc. Depending on what time of the day it is and how busy I am, each one can be the "chosen" one. Each of them are more than "one" thing at a time though.

For example, my smart one is also my PITA one, hardheaded one, and picky one. She is also my oldest one. But do I appreciate her smartness, especially when I have to help the other two with hw because I know she won't need it and she can help me out with them.

My 8 year old is my average one, but also my easy, non-picky and responsible one. She is a breeze to take care of, can handle herself, does more than she is told, but is not so great at school. She doesn't get Math like my oldest one. But she helps take care of her younger brother and sister and doesn't need to be told what to do.

My 5 year old is my smart one as well, but she is also my crying, non-talking one and my spoiled brat one. She gets whatever she wants from her daddy because she is daddy's little girl. She just recently started talking and it turns out she is very very smart. So smart that even though she doesn't talk all the time, she knows exactly how to get what she wants from us.

My son is three so he is my spoiled brat one as well, my crying one, my picky one, my non-talking one, my baby one, etc. If I am really honest, I would say that I do baby him because he is my last and I don't want him to grow up too fast. He can definitely be my PITA one as well.

So, none are my favorite, but all of them are loved the same because they bring me joy in different ways.

Love this Butterfly.

 

[momhappy]

I don't have a favorite. They are all so different and naturally, you love them all for different reasons. They are special & unique in their own ways and your feelings for them reflect that. I don't really have "labels" for them (like "spoiled one", "independent one", etc.) because my kids are always changing and evolving (I think all kids do). The independent one today, might be needy tomorrow. Sure, they have certain characteristics that are more prominent than others, but I wouldn't want to label them as something (especially if it had negative connotations like "spoiled" or "princess") for fear of creating some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Laila619]

I love them both, but my son is much easier than my daughter, and he is older so he can do a lot more things than she can, like carry on full conversations, play games with me, etc. She is only 17 months and can be VERY whiny and fussy. My DH would say I tend to favor my son, but I love and adore them both so much! She's just at a difficult stage.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I have a favorite- whomever is behaving at the moment!

Actually, I only have two kids- one boy and one girl- and I can honestly tell DD she's my favorite daughter and I can tell DS that he's my favorite son.

 

[ringbling17]

momhappy,

It's apparent that your post was directed at me.

I completely get what you mean about "labels". I obviously don't call my kids these "labels" out loud. They are just ways that I am describing them to you guys in this thread, to explain how my kids can be and why I love them equally for different reasons.
They actually do have their own names which I use and if I every once in a while I call one of them my "princess", well, so be it. I am allowed. Also, some of those names, such as my "spoiled brat one or non-talking one ", were meant to be self deprecating.


This thread was asking if you have a favorite, it isn't about judging parent styles. I posted what I did bc I love my kids and wanted to explain that no matter how different they can be, they are still loved equally without favoritism. That's all. No need to read into things or overanalyze the post.

And honestly, unless you are perfect, please don't judge me, especially with a condescending attitude. I read many things on this forum that I don't necessarily agree with and choose not to respond to , but your comments need to be addressed. Unless you've been in my shoes, taken care of my kids and pay my bills, you really shouldn't be judging me.

 

[momhappy]

momhappy,

It's apparent that your post was directed at me.

I completely get what you mean about "labels". I obviously don't call my kids these "labels" out loud. They are just ways that I am describing them to you guys in this thread, to explain how my kids can be and why I love them equally for different reasons.
They actually do have their own names which I use and if I every once in a while I call one of them my "princess", well, so be it. I am allowed. Also, some of those names, such as my "spoiled brat one or non-talking one ", were meant to be self deprecating.


This thread was asking if you have a favorite, it isn't about judging parent styles. I posted what I did bc I love my kids and wanted to explain that no matter how different they can be, they are still loved equally without favoritism. That's all. No need to read into things or overanalyze the post.

And honestly, unless you are perfect, please don't judge me, especially with a condescending attitude. I read many things on this forum that I don't necessarily agree with and choose not to respond to , but your comments need to be addressed. Unless you've been in my shoes, taken care of my kids and pay my bills, you really shouldn't be judging me.

My post was actually not directed at you - it was just general thoughts (and, yes, some of it may have been related to parts of your discussion because I thought that it was an interesting topic). You posted your thoughts and I posted mine, so I apologize if you felt that I was attacking you in some way.
I was also not judging your parenting style and I'm not even sure how you came to that conclusion Just because you have labels for your children does not imply that one parenting style is better than the other - they are just different. For what it's worth, I don't even know how labels ad parenting style are related? I understand your points and I even agreed that most children have characteristics that are more prominent than others, but that doesn't have anything to do with parenting styles (at least in my opinion). You sound like a wonderful parent and I loved that you posted that each of your children brings you unique joy because I feel the same way. I have never had an interest in labeling my daughter as a "princess" because she is most certainly not royalty and would not be treated as such However, if that sort of thing works for you (and I know lots of parents who like to use those sort of nicknames, labels, etc.), then there's nothing wrong with that and it certainly doesn't mean that it'a personal attack on your parenting style. I'm sure that there are things that I choose for my family that may not be a good fit for you and that's fine

 

[MissGotRocks]

No, parenting doesn't work that way. You have different kids, different personalities, different challenges but having a 'favorite' just doesn't exist IMO.

 

[momhappy]

I love them both, but my son is much easier than my daughter, and he is older so he can do a lot more things than she can, like carry on full conversations, play games with me, etc. She is only 17 months and can be VERY whiny and fussy. My DH would say I tend to favor my son, but I love and adore them both so much! She's just at a difficult stage.

Yes, I agree and that's what I was referring to in my earlier post about how children are constantly changing & evolving. I have noticed that my kids go through cycles - sometimes, they are easy to deal with and sometimes, they are more difficult. Our feelings during those times can reflect that, so that's why having a "favorite" just doesn't seem to apply

 

[ringbling17]

momhappy,
No worries! I apologize as well. I think I woke up on the wrong foot today bc I am feeling hangry.

 

[momhappy]

momhappy,
No worries! I apologize as well. I think I woke up on the wrong foot today bc I am feeling hangry.

No problem at all! After I re-read my post, I can see how you might have thought that I was judging and/or being condescending. I'm glad that we got the chance to clear it up!

 

[angela06]

I have two boys, and love them both dearly. My oldest is "harder" to parent, while my youngest is "easier", but their are both my favorite kids because they are mine.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Kenny, how do you think of these questions????

My children are all different, and yes, some were easier than others. But NEVER would I say that I have a favorite! That sounds terribly immature to me! I love them all with all my heart, regardless!!

 

[jaysonsmom]

I have a favorite- whomever is behaving at the moment!

Actually, I only have two kids- one boy and one girl- and I can honestly tell DD she's my favorite daughter and I can tell DS that he's my favorite son.

Exactly this!
Also, wanted to add that my son is the older, more responsible and easier one to handle, less whiny, but my daughter is my baby, and shares more interests with me, so I love them in very different ways!

 

[gregchang35]

We have 2dd. They are only young. Our parenthood journey is only 3yrs... From the little experience like most posters say each bring their own to the game!!!! I can honestly say that I/we love then both. Not one more than the other.. Well not yet . I can definitely say that the eldest is nanas favourite.

But I can reflect on how my parents raised 3 of us. We were treated equally. But as an adult, I can see that I was a little favoured by my mum. Just little things she does for me.. I can't specifically say what but just in the way she does stuff.. Gives me more food to take home when we have family dinners. As a kid, I didn't notice anything- not that I would anyway. As kids we are oblivious to these things. Behavior wise- I think my brother got away with more stuff. More responsibilities was given to my older sister.

Maybe in a few years, I may have a differnt view.

 

[kenny]

Kenny, how do you think of these questions????

It's easy when you're from outer space.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Before I had kids I thought it would be impossible to NOT have a favourite. I am an only child and had no experience with bigger family dynamics.

My perspective changed completely after I had kids. I can say without any hesitation that I do not have a favourite. They are each such different people. I have a very different relationship with each one! Just like I have different relationships with my closest girlfriends, or other intimates in my life. Sometimes I enjoy spending time with one more than the other, I appreciate different things about each son, and I am aggravated by different things by each son.

I imagine as the get older and become adults, its possible I may have a closer bond with one or the other. But I am not sure that will happen. Luckily for us all, love is not a limited commodity like oil The supply just keeps increasing as you use it!

 

[tyty333]

I love them all the same but 2 are boys and one's a girl...guess which one likes to shop? Yep, my daughter. We just have more
In common. I dearly love my sons but I'm not much into online gaming .

 

[SMC]

I think there was an article in Time about how most parents exhibit a preference for one child above the other(s), usually the older one. I don't have kids of my own, so I can't say how I'd feel when it's my own children. However, I do have 3 nieces and 2 nephews, and I can say that I do have a favorite among them.

 

[qtiekiki]

I have a favorite- whomever is behaving at the moment!

Actually, I only have two kids- one boy and one girl- and I can honestly tell DD she's my favorite daughter and I can tell DS that he's my favorite son.

I also have a girl and a boy. I say he is my favorite boy and she is my favorite girl. All true.

 

[AprilBaby]

I voted yes. I love them all, but you didn't ask which one I love most. You asked my favorite. Three boys, one girl. My favorite is my shopping buddy!

 

[packrat]

No. London is my easier one, has been since the beginning. Trapper is harder...waaaaay harder than London ever was. Now, she's 10, so that could all change here shortly, who knows. But a favorite, like "I love you more" or "I like you better", no.

 

[NTave]

I said no..I find my daughter is easier to talk to, we share similar interests and I enjoy girl time with her, she is smart and funny sweet and lovely, and has been a very easy kid. I also never thought I could love a boy as much as I love my son, even though he drives me nuts with his stubbornness and antics. I enjoy seeing life through his eyes, because he definitely sees life with a different lens. I can tell you that before I had him I was scared I would have a favorite, Bc I thought I couldn't love someone as much as I loved my daughter...but it wasn't true for me. That boy stole half my heart, right down the middle

 

[luv2sparkle]

Yes. They are all my favorites for entirely different reasons. But each one is a favorite because of it.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I have 3 children and each of them are my favorite in different ways. I definitely have favorites - but each of them has their own area. My daughter is a girl, she's my favorite in that way. First boy is like me, so he's my favorite in that way. Second boy is just like my husband and he's the *baby, so he's my favorite in that way. I love them all uniquely but ultimately equally. Aside from this, one or two are often in better favor than the other(s), but that plays no part in my "favorite" status.

 

[SB621]

Nope don't have a favorite. But I have no hesitation in saying that we DO call my DD a princess and my DS is the pirate Love them both equally, though differently. Doesn't matter if they are having good days or bad days, I'm grateful for them everyday and would never favor one over the other.