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Parents, what is the naughtiest thing your children ever did?

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 2, 2016
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They keep us on our toes but sometimes they joke about cutting them off....maybe just mine? Yeah that's what I was afraid of.

Anyways, please share naughty things your child or children have done. No judgement but I bet there will be some interesting stories ;-)
 

oodlesofpoodles

Shiny_Rock
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Dec 29, 2017
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This will be a fun thread!
Let's see - off the top of my head my son carved his name into our brand new hardwood floors with the end of a nail when he was about 7 - thank goodness for scratch cover! I believe it was the same year he wrote in sharpie on his sisters bathroom counter top and tried to frame her for it by writing "his own name" is stupid", except she was three and could not write yet :lol:
 

Gussie

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 20, 2017
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My son has always been a businessman/ entrepreneur. When he was about 8, he decided to have a lemonade stand. After the stand was up and running, I found him inside watching TV. I asked him why he wasn't at the stand. He told me that he had hired his sister and a neighbor to work for him. The big kicker was he convinced them to be paid with lemonade!!! This kid will definitely make money in his lifetime.
 
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YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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@oodlesofpoodles, wow seven was an active year for him, that is too funny about the Sharpie and he tried to make it look like his sister wrote it. Too funny!
 

Begonia

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My oldest YouTubed how to making a working lego hand gun at 9. I abhor all firearms and he knew that so did it on the sly. He has always been a computer geek. It started at 3 and now he's in computer science at Uni.

The youngest would buy on-sale snacks at the local drug store and sell them at the school for a huge mark up.
Made enough to buy a computer. It's against school rules.

Both impressed me in different ways.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Wow @Begonia I admire the intellect with both of those kids, selling snacks for a markup is so old school but brilliant even if it is against the rules!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I've been reaaaaalllly lucky so far; my daughter, who just turned 8, hasn't a mischievous or destructive bone in her body. Yet?
But ohhh boy, the things my brother and I did growing up...

1. I threw my teddy bear at my brother during dinner one night and my aim was so terrible I hit one of my mother's Lladro figurines above him, knocking off the head.
2. I used a Magic Marker (permanent marker) to draw all over one of the sofas in the living room.
3. My brother once instructed me to stand next to the fence post upon which he had set up a can of purple spray paint. He then shot it with a bb gun and it exploded all over me.
4. We used to throw apples and lit firecrackers at cars that drove by when it was mid-to-late summer and the hay in the fields was super tall so we could run and hide in case anyone figured out what direction their vehicle was hit from if we actually connected.
5. We had a lot of fun hopping the fence into the neighbor's pasture and teasing their herd of cattle. We would run at them, they'd run away, then they'd charge back at us, and we'd do it over and over again. I never saw this as a problem; I'd been helping my mother feed calves and corral heifers back into pasture when they'd escape since I was big enough to walk. It was thrilling to chase them and be chased back.

We had the run of 60 acres and were VERY free-range kids. We also grew up without cable, mainly watched PBS, and read books nonstop in our downtime when we weren't terrorizing the neighborhood. (I use the term "neighborhood" loosely as there were only about 15 houses within a 3 mile stretch on our road.)
 

Queenie60

Ideal_Rock
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Our oldest, he was always a small guy, when the boys on the little league team made fun of him. He marched over to their parents and lectured them as to why their sons were not kind and that they should do something about this. At the time, we thought it was cute and gutsy however, little did we know, this kid had some major issues that we have dealt with for many years. He's slowly coming around and I feel he will be okay at some point.
 

Jimmianne

Ideal_Rock
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Dec 9, 2013
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At the end of her first day in kindergarten my DD escaped the line of kids waiting for their mothers and walked home through the woods. Imagine my distress when we could not find her.
Multiply this by about 1000+ incidents and you will know what my life has been like the last 38 years.
It was only the beginning of her rebellion against what she considers the BS of bureaucracy, which has survived to this day. She is an amazing, intelligent woman who fights for people’s rights, but raising her just about killed her poor mother : )
Ironically I was very much the same and now feel very sorry for my poor mother!
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Oh my gosh @monarch64 your mother must have been a saint, if I saw permanent marker all over my sofa I'd seriously lose it. Honestly though I was like you, always up to something but my youngest is making me pay for it now!

@Queenie60, your son sounds a lot like my oldest and we have always taught him to stick up for himself, apparently he thought this applied to adults too!

@Jimmianne, oh boy it sounds like you really earned your stripes. She sounds like she grew into a strong woman though and you are still alive go tell the tales so that's a silver lining.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Our youngest is on a whole other level than our other son, so I didn't really know what I was in for. "J" was about four and one day I noticed there was a blanket under a chair in the corner of the room, go over and lift up the blanket and there is this trinket box with the top broken off. I bought this to sell when I had an Etsy store, I immediately asked who broke this box?! He admitted to it but not before lying because he thought he would get in trouble.

We were eating dinner the other night and the sun went behind a cloud so the room got dark suddenly and "J" said "look even God doesn't like your food, he turned the lights out". Yup he is a handful! That's what I get for the stuff I did to my mother growing up!
 

mellowyellowgirl

Ideal_Rock
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May 17, 2014
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DS7 had a very rough year in year 1.

It resulted in a passive aggressive war with his teacher where he would pay attention to every mistake she made and would correct her repeatedly.

One day she got so frustrated she said to him: Would you like to teach year 1 for me J?

DS7: Sure it's not like I don't already know the entire syllabus.

Anyways we had many long conversations where I pleaded for him to be good so I could secure a grade skip.

DS7 (a few weeks later): Oh I don't correct her anymore. I just teach the others to do it. It really confuses her when even the kids who normally need help point out her mistakes.

Me: Please don't lead a revolt!
 

partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
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My younger daughter was - always getting into something. I was trying to find the photo where she drew all over herself as well as a number of books and paper with permanent marker, but this is photo evidence where I walked in on her, where she got the peanut butter jar down, was dipping her fingers into the jar so the dog could lick them! this was a brand new dog who was pretty wild, but her and this dog had a special relationship, pretty much from the start. She gentled him.
 

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partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
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They had a funny sweet relationship more like siblings than owner/pet. He was so wild (not mean and bitey but just out of control and breaking out of the backyard and running away) so I wanted to rehome him. But the youngest wasn't afraid. And for whatever reason he would calm down around her and ended up being a sweet dog. He passed away this past fall. She was the one asking that we wait a couple more days before bringing him to the vet (to be put down) and spending lots of time with him before he passed.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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So sorry about your dog @partgypsy, I'm sure your daughter was devastated to lose her partner in crime.
 

Mekp

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Oct 15, 2016
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When my son was born, my daughter who was 3 years old was visibly jealous. She found that a good way to get attention was to run away from me when I was dealing with the baby.
One day we had just finished grocery shopping and were outside the store about to head across the parking lot to our car when the baby started crying. I took a moment to see what the issue was and in that second my daughter decided to make her move. Off she ran towards a busy street. I grabbed the baby and ran after her yelling every threat I could think of to make her come back (This was certainly not my finest parenting moment, I'm sure I looked insane). A passerby saw her heading for the street and tried to intervene. A truck travelling down the street saw her coming and swerved, narrowly missing a car. And my sweet daughter came to a halt just before the road looking quite pleased with herself.

She is now 15 and is still quite dramatic.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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@mrs-b, what a waste of perfectly good pizza! Video players were expensive back in the day so I imagine your friend was not pleased!

@Mekp, oh my goodness I was holding my breath just reading that story! I'm glad she stopped!
 

MrsBlue

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 30, 2013
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When my son was about 3 he emptied a whole jar of peanut butter onto my dining table. I found him covered in the stuff and happily finger-painting with the rest. It was ridiculously messy but he looked so cute and funny that I could hardly be mad at him.
 

Demon

Brilliant_Rock
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Ok, this wasn't naughty, because she was just a toddler, and still in pull up training pants. But one day I was sitting on our front steps working on this project, and she and our doberman were out in the (fenced) yard with me. The dog pooped, as they naturally do. The next time I looked up (seconds later!), she had her pants pulled down and was pooping. Right in the front yard. I was both embarrassed and having fits of laughter. She had never attempted this before, so it wasn't like she'd been told no....
 
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