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Parents, what age to stay home alone?

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YadaYadaYada

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Feb 2, 2016
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Curious at what age parents of older children let them stay home alone for say an hour or two?

Also at what age did you let an older sibling babysit a younger sibling and how old was the younger one?

Just to clarify this is not about leaving a child home alone for extended periods or on a regular basis.
 
I think a lot depends on the kid. My oldest is naive and a bit absent minded. He didn't stay alone until about 11. However my middle kiddo was born responsible and highly aware. She stayed alone at 9 for a few hours at a time. My youngest may never stay alone, lol!
 
@ceg, your oldest sounds like my oldest! Have you let your oldest babysit the little ones? That's the part I'm really curious about because one kid home alone is less to worry about than two!
 
I definitely let (or force:Up_to_something2:) my oldest to babysit his sisters now. He's 15. It's pretty funny though that the middle daughter is the one who orders the pizza and plays mom to the other ones when they are left alone!
 
Depends on the kid! Cell phones help as they can get hold of you if needed but it really just depends...

How safe of an area are you in? (Chance of break in?)
Can they understand (and follow) do not open the door to ANYONE?
Can they manage snacks/drinks in the kitchen or know to leave it alone until you get home?
If younger kid with them, would they be able to manage potential issues? (Such as call you immediately in whatever situations)
Can they identify when to call 911 for help?
 
Growing up I was left alone and in charge of my younger siblings from age 12 (brother was then 10 sister was 7) as my mum was working so it was from 3.30pm til 6pm Monday to Friday. I also put dinner on as well.
My daughter, I was happy to leave alone for an hour or so (daylight) from age 12 because she was a sensible and reliable girl.
On the other hand my brothers boy, if he was my son I wouldn’t leave him alone at home until 21. He is the most accident prone, stupid, idiotic child I’ve ever known - ie setting things alight in the house, doing “experiments” with chemicals, jumping out windows. He can’t pick up a knife without slicing off a finger, he’s had forks dropped and imbedded in his foot, he had something explode in his face and it was Hospital in case his eyesight was damaged, Gawd, he’s a nightmare.
So, it depends on the child. If they are sensible and home is safe and they know what to do in an emergency why not, they have to grow up and be responsible eventually.
 
My older son was about 13 when we allowed him to be “home alone” after school, usually for anything up to 2 hours. He is quite sensible, though, and had a long list of rules to obey!

There don’t seem to be any laws here (UK) about when you can leave kids alone, it appears it is up to the adult to assess the child. The NSPCC suggests that kids under 12 are usually unable to cope in an emergency.

Siblings together is a whole other issue- what if they fight? Definitely depends on the kids and how they are with each other, if the younger one is happy for the older one to be in charge and so on.
 
ooh great question! Have always wondered this!

In the good old days (hehe 1990) I was left home alone all the time at the age of 8 with Lil Sis who was just a few months old. Mother would even have pots and pans on the boil and I was instructed to mind the baby and watch over her food so it wouldn't burn.

My 6yo Pookums is a very sensible and sane child (like saner than me! He tells me off for having bad ideas as I am pretty rogue) so could be left alone now but he would be SOOOOOO OFFENDED by that notion! I don't think I will leave him alone until he is in his teens. He'd probably stop being offended at that age.
 
Mine is 9, not yet. I could probably pop to the shop but he gets up way earlier than me so is up and amusing himself while I'm still in bed.
Might let him have a phone sim card when he's 10 or 11. I originally thought 12 but I think it would be useful for him to be able to contact me esp when he goes to his dad's. He has my old iphone already but just plays games on it and we've considered letting him have a data only sim card.

I remember babysitting other people's kids (and being paid £1 an hour) when I was 12. :cool2: I think that was about the same age as I was able to let myself in after school. I have a brother who is 2 years younger so would have to keep an eye on him. Parents went on holiday and left us home when I was about 16 or 17. One time my brother let too many friends come round and made a mess of the place. :shock:
 
My reasonable and levelheaded 8yo has already asked me to be left at home alone instead of coming along on errands. I think he can do it but DH disagrees so I haven't left him home alone yet.

I used to come home after school at that age, do my homework, eat and wait for parents to come home from work so I see it as perfectly reasonable. Every parent I asked in my area thinks times have changed and it's too early to have a kid be alone at 8 for couple of hours. I don't think my kid is less sane or more naive than me at that age.
 
My son was 12. He has a cell phone and there is an alarm on the house. No cooking on the stove, only microwave. No walking out the front door. No answering the front door.

We make sure the cell phone is on before we leave and the ringer is on. He must answer when I call.

When I was a kid, I was left alone for extended periods of time at 8 years old. From my perspective, that was way too young. I was lonely and couldn’t possibly handle any kind of accident that could have happened to me. I was lucky that nothing ever did happen.
 
I was babysitting at age 10.
However case law in IL now says 14 with a safety course is the age for babysitters.
Under the age of 14 left alone the parents can be charged if something happens.
http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/publicacts/pubact90/acts/90-0239.html

any minor under the age of 14 years whose
parent or other person responsible for the minor's
welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an
unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental
or physical health, safety, or welfare of that minor.
Whether the minor was left without regard for the mental
or physical health, safety, or welfare of that minor or the
period of time was unreasonable shall be determined by
considering the following factors, including but not limited
to:
(1) the age of the minor;
(2) the number of minors left at the location;
(3) special needs of the minor, including whether
the minor is physically or mentally handicapped, or
otherwise in need of ongoing prescribed medical treatment
such as periodic doses of insulin or other medications;
(4) the duration of time in which the minor was
left without supervision;
(5) the condition and location of the place where
the minor was left without supervision;
(6) the time of day or night when the minor was
left without supervision;
(7) the weather conditions, including whether the
minor was left in a location with adequate protection
from the natural elements such as adequate heat or light;
(8) the location of the parent or guardian at the
time the minor was left without supervision, the physical
distance the minor was from the parent or guardian at the
time the minor was without supervision;
(9) whether the minor's movement was restricted, or
the minor was otherwise locked within a room or other
structure;
(10) whether the minor was given a phone number of
a person or location to call in the event of an emergency
and whether the minor was capable of making an emergency
call;
(11) whether there was food and other provision
left for the minor;
(12) whether any of the conduct is attributable to
economic hardship or illness and the parent, guardian or
other person having physical custody or control of the
child made a good faith effort to provide for the health
and safety of the minor;
(13) the age and physical and mental capabilities
of the person or persons who provided supervision for the
minor;
(14) whether the minor was left under the
supervision of another person;
(15) any other factor that would endanger the
health and safety of that particular minor.
(2) Those who are abused include any minor under 18
years of age whose parent or immediate family member, or any
person responsible for the minor's welfare, or any person who
is in the same family or household as the minor, or any
individual residing in the same home as the minor, or a
paramour of the minor's parent:
(i) inflicts, causes to be inflicted, or
allows to be inflicted upon such minor physical
injury, by other than accidental means, which causes
death, disfigurement, impairment of physical or
emotional health, or loss or impairment of any
bodily function;
(ii) creates a substantial risk of physical
injury to such minor by other than accidental means
which would be likely to cause death, disfigurement,
impairment of emotional health, or loss or
impairment of any bodily function;
(iii) commits or allows to be committed any
sex offense against such minor, as such sex offenses
are defined in the Criminal Code of 1961, as
amended, and extending those definitions of sex
offenses to include minors under 18 years of age;
(iv) commits or allows to be committed an act
or acts of torture upon such minor; or
(v) inflicts excessive corporal punishment.
(3) This Section does not apply to a minor who would be
included herein solely for the purpose of qualifying for
financial assistance for himself, his parents, guardian or
custodian.
 
I don't think there's an exact age specified in UK law, I will google.
 
The law doesn’t say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.

Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, eg at home or in a car.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says:

  • children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
  • children under 16 shouldn’t be left alone overnight
  • babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone
Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ‘in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health’.
 
I appreciate all these great responses, thanks to everyone who weighed in. Our son will be twelve in February and we have a four year old son. We started leaving our older son alone (and took the younger one with us) an hour here or there six months ago. We always leave a phone, lock the door, no cooking, no answering the door etc. In our state there are no laws about when to leave a child home alone.

Last night we went out for a couple of hours for dinner and had to pickup some things at the store and had both kids stay home alone. The oldest is very responsible and rule abiding (wants to be a police officer) and the younger one despite being an antagonist somehow seems to understand that he has to listen to older brother when we go out. Which we hardly ever go out alone but it's nice to have the option. Plus the restaurant and store were five minutes away so we could easily get back to them if we needed to.
 
For us it was 12. I have 2 (now adult daughters). I found out a couple of years ago that when we left our oldest to watch our youngest (ages about 14 and 11), the oldest would chase the youngest around with the butcher knife for fun. :eek2: It sounds sociopathic, but I assure you our eldest was always so well behaved and got great marks at school, etc. We had NO idea! They joke about it now. I was horrified. At least everyone has a cell phone now, so there's not too much to worry about. We also had our kids complete the babysitting course first, just for extra safety.
 
I suppose about age 12 and I had boys.
Just remember---at a certain age you DON'T want to leave them home alone--lol.
Teenagers:roll
 
@lyra, this has me rethinking leaving them alone again lol! I bet you though your youngest was super well behaved, I know I would be!
 
IIRC I think my son was 14 before I left him on his own to pop out for a very short while. Having said that, the dog was with him, so he wasn’t technically alone :lol:
 
Lol, the things you learn about your kids when they're grown up! So many things happened behind the scenes that we had no idea about. My oldest daughter is super responsible and caring, so I almost had a heart attack hearing about things. I'm surprised my youngest never told on her sister ever. :P2

Really though, with cell phones and technology, it should be much safer these days.
 
You know what's sad to me is I think a lot of us who commented about being left home alone as kids were a lot more self sufficient than kids are these days.

Heck now my oldest would probably look at an iron and think it was a cooking device! Tried to have him wash his own sheets but he put too much soap in and I had bubbles pouring out of my front loader. I swear by college he better have all of this down lol!
 
lyra said:
Lol, the things you learn about your kids when they're grown up! So many things happened behind the scenes that we had no idea about. My oldest daughter is super responsible and caring, so I almost had a heart attack hearing about things. I'm surprised my youngest never told on her sister ever. :P2

Really though, with cell phones and technology, it should be much safer these days.
Click to expand...
When my parents left us with a certain elderly sitter. I would play tricks on her. Once
I climbed out on the 2nd story roof, walked along the ridge, and dropped stuff down the chimney to scare her.
It’s better if parents NEVER know what their kids were up to! Lol
 
That is hysterical @Jimmianne!

Maybe we need to revise this thread to include naughty things you or your siblings did as kids left alone or funny/naughty things you found out your kids did being left alone :Up_to_something2:
 
StephanieLynn said:
You know what's sad to me is I think a lot of us who commented about being left home alone as kids were a lot more self sufficient than kids are these days.
Click to expand...

This is so true. I tell myself over and over that my job is to raise self sufficient, productive members of society, not coddle them and lead them to believe they are the center of the world. The world won't treat them with kid gloves and I better prepare them for that!
 
@Karl_K, it's insanity. We live a mile from the post office and my older son has asked if he can walk home when I go to drop off packages. I have to tell him no because someone might see him walking alone and call the police. That's not overreacting, parents have had the police called in them for letting kids walk alone, not young kids either.
 
StephanieLynn said:
@Karl_K, it's insanity. We live a mile from the post office and my older son has asked if he can walk home when I go to drop off packages. I have to tell him no because someone might see him walking alone and call the police. That's not overreacting, parents have had the police called in them for letting kids walk alone, not young kids either.
Click to expand...
Sad isn't it :{
 
StephanieLynn said:
@Karl_K, it's insanity. We live a mile from the post office and my older son has asked if he can walk home when I go to drop off packages. I have to tell him no because someone might see him walking alone and call the police. That's not overreacting, parents have had the police called in them for letting kids walk alone, not young kids either.
Click to expand...

It is insane! This is exactly why kids can't do anything for themselves. Independence gives kids the freedom to be. But the mommy wars, not to mention the law, foster the idea that children must be handled so delicately that they don't have room to grow.

When my kids were young (3 under age 6), I hired a part time nanny to help out. Several mothers commented that they "admired" me for being able to leave my kids with someone. They would never trust someone else. Talk about backhanded admiration.
 
I will give my opinion later when I have more time, but my first response is to check with your state laws! Illinois is 14, which is so crazy, but I don’t think it is frequently enforced?
 
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