merrymunky
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,069
Hello all.
I rarely venture down to this part of the forum but I feel I have to come and post about some of my current issues and worries.
Following a conversation with my FI tonight I am feeling rather down and hopeless.
I won''t go into all the details of the conversation as I am rather upset about it...but it goes back to an ongoing issue.
The general gist of it is that I need to get fit in order to concieve a child. My fiance and I have been together for 7 years come February ''09 and have been engaged for 5 years come Easter ''09 (FAR too long in my book...another issue altogether but convieniently intertwined with the issue I am here posting about. I am 28 and he is 32. I have always been severely overweight the whole time we have been together. However, in the last 5 years or so my weight has ballooned horrifically. So much so that my periods have stopped pretty much altogether. I have had some degree of investigation into why this is so. During summer ''07 I went for an external and internal scan to see if anything showed up. At the time I was told that there was nothing like polycystic ovaries etc, and that there was a thick lining on my uterus wall, which indicated that a perios was imminent. Sure enough I have had a couple of periods since then. My last was in July. It was a HUGE one and then nothing since again.
It has always been a worry to me especially as my FI and I both really want to have a child.
So during this conversation with FI tonight it comes out that he would rather have a child before we got married. I had no idea why until tonight, he has said it to me before but I never thought to question why. He says a family is more important to him than marriage and that he wouldn''t want to get married then find out we can''t have children. That really upset me. Basically, if I am barren then he will toss me aside for a fertile woman is how that reads to me. I feel VERY loved tonight.
But that is another issue.
I have no qualms as such about having a baby before we get married. We have always said that if a baby came first then never mind. We both want one so it doesn''t matter in what order the marriage and baby happen. But after tonight it seems to be more important than I had previously been lead to believe.
So to get to the point of this post...I need to prove to MYSELF (NOT him...not happy with him right now) that I can lose weight and hopefully stimulate ovulation again then we can TTC. I want nothing more in this world than to have my own family.
It just seems unfair of him to tell me all this now though, had I known 3 years ago that he really felt this way I could have lost the weight by now and we could actually have stood a chance of having a baby before I hit 30 like I always wanted. Now it will be 2 years of hard weight loss, then gos knows how long TTC, then planning a wedding and having to shift baby weight for it. In that case I will be at least 34 by the time we finally tie the knot. Not how I invisaged my life panning out.
I wanted to see if any other women here have faced a similar situation with perods becoming very irregular or stopping due to being overweight? Did your periods return to normal after weight loss?
I need to know there is hope for me. I face a long battle trying to lose A LOT of weight. I weigh 21 stone. Even if I were still having periods I could not even attempt pregnancy at this weight. It would be a disaster. So the plan is lose weight, hope for ovulation and then TTC.
Please share your experiences here. As I said, I need to know there is hope for me.
I rarely venture down to this part of the forum but I feel I have to come and post about some of my current issues and worries.
Following a conversation with my FI tonight I am feeling rather down and hopeless.
I won''t go into all the details of the conversation as I am rather upset about it...but it goes back to an ongoing issue.
The general gist of it is that I need to get fit in order to concieve a child. My fiance and I have been together for 7 years come February ''09 and have been engaged for 5 years come Easter ''09 (FAR too long in my book...another issue altogether but convieniently intertwined with the issue I am here posting about. I am 28 and he is 32. I have always been severely overweight the whole time we have been together. However, in the last 5 years or so my weight has ballooned horrifically. So much so that my periods have stopped pretty much altogether. I have had some degree of investigation into why this is so. During summer ''07 I went for an external and internal scan to see if anything showed up. At the time I was told that there was nothing like polycystic ovaries etc, and that there was a thick lining on my uterus wall, which indicated that a perios was imminent. Sure enough I have had a couple of periods since then. My last was in July. It was a HUGE one and then nothing since again.
It has always been a worry to me especially as my FI and I both really want to have a child.
So during this conversation with FI tonight it comes out that he would rather have a child before we got married. I had no idea why until tonight, he has said it to me before but I never thought to question why. He says a family is more important to him than marriage and that he wouldn''t want to get married then find out we can''t have children. That really upset me. Basically, if I am barren then he will toss me aside for a fertile woman is how that reads to me. I feel VERY loved tonight.
I have no qualms as such about having a baby before we get married. We have always said that if a baby came first then never mind. We both want one so it doesn''t matter in what order the marriage and baby happen. But after tonight it seems to be more important than I had previously been lead to believe.
So to get to the point of this post...I need to prove to MYSELF (NOT him...not happy with him right now) that I can lose weight and hopefully stimulate ovulation again then we can TTC. I want nothing more in this world than to have my own family.
It just seems unfair of him to tell me all this now though, had I known 3 years ago that he really felt this way I could have lost the weight by now and we could actually have stood a chance of having a baby before I hit 30 like I always wanted. Now it will be 2 years of hard weight loss, then gos knows how long TTC, then planning a wedding and having to shift baby weight for it. In that case I will be at least 34 by the time we finally tie the knot. Not how I invisaged my life panning out.
I wanted to see if any other women here have faced a similar situation with perods becoming very irregular or stopping due to being overweight? Did your periods return to normal after weight loss?
I need to know there is hope for me. I face a long battle trying to lose A LOT of weight. I weigh 21 stone. Even if I were still having periods I could not even attempt pregnancy at this weight. It would be a disaster. So the plan is lose weight, hope for ovulation and then TTC.
Please share your experiences here. As I said, I need to know there is hope for me.