Opinions, Suggestions /Ideas Welcome: Buying a Ring!

[MatchMadeInCarbon]

Hi All; thanks for stopping by,

I was planning on waiting to post my big introductory/"help me!"/story later when I was really close to buying the big E ring for my love of 6 years. But I figured I might as well get as much time to think as possible. I''m another one of those long-time lurkers and have been recently been trying to contribute (while avoiding super-technical stuff). PS has helped me find rocks & rings that I didn''t/wouldn''t know. Since I know this post will be long, I''ll leave the love story for another post if you don''t mind.

I have a few queries that I''d welcome input from:
1) A minor decision with important implications; should I give her rights to choose the setting?
-I know her well enough & believe in my own taste/style enough to choose a setting she would love. But, I thought it might be more considerate to let her have a say. That leads to another question.

2) What are some best practices with online vendors when dealing with multiple shipments to accommodate changes in settings? At this point, there''s a good chance I''ll be going with Good Old Gold & Jon for the rock. I could go with them for the whole ring or maybe just the rock. Does GOG or other online vendors usually handle shipping back and forth with the customer for different settings? I haven''t had a chance to talk to them about how they could handle it.
- I was thinking that I could have the rock set as a simple solitaire for proposing purposes and then set back for the final setting (sized locally). Jon''s been really helpful, so I bet he''d put together a video comparison of a few settings if I needed it. Maybe I''ll choose a few & ask the future Fi which she''d like. It''d be helpful to keep the price away from her eyes since she''s overly cautious about that stuff.

3) Finally, the GOODS; the Love of My Life will work in hospital & clinical settings where dawning the E ring on her finger wouldn''t be practical. Rather than not let her wear it, I plan on providing a solid chain for her to wear it around her neck (she does this with the other ring I gave her years ago). I''d appreciate suggestions (with pics/links if possible) of great settings with beautiful profiles. Luckily, GOG deals with Tacori, Verragio, Ritani & Mark Morrell. Profile pictures are limited so personal additions would be great. Suggestions need not be exclusive to GOG.

I hope I didn''t scare anyone away - feel free to help in anyway that you can / I tried to limit my wordiness...

 

[Lorelei]

What I would do is ask Jon if there is a particular setting you have in mind, he has access to many more settings than he shows on his website so well worth asking him.

You could certainly ask your GF for her input on the setting, some couples do this or others the guy does the whole thing, no hard and fast rules.

 

[MatchMadeInCarbon]

forgot to mention that I''m in training all day/ so I won''t be able to answer questions until tonight (Pac coast time).

Saw Lorelei''s post. Thanks- didn''t know that about GOG. I''m wondering if people would rather have input on their ring or the surprise & feeling of having THE ring chosen entirely by the person that knows her best...

Thanks so much!
MMIC

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 9/3/2009 11:17:21 AM
Author: MatchMadeInCarbon
forgot to mention that I''m in training all day/ so I won''t be able to answer questions until tonight (Pac coast time).

Saw Lorelei''s post. Thanks- didn''t know that about GOG. I''m wondering if people would rather have input on their ring or the surprise & feeling of having THE ring chosen entirely by the person that knows her best...

Thanks so much!
MMIC

Most welcome! Yes Jon has many more settings available than you see on the site. As to whether to let your GF have some input its so hard to say....Maybe ask her if the proposal isn''t a surprise if she would like to help choose or leave it to you?

 

[MatchMadeInCarbon]

Yeah, I''ll have to call GOG next week after the break to discuss options.

I was hoping for more suggestions / but maybe I''ll need more pictures / psers love pictures...

hehe

MMIC

 

[LadyLilac]

Hello and congrats!

If I understand your post correctly, the idea that you have in mind is exactly what I would recommend. If you want the engagement to be a complete surprise to her, I would recommend putting the diamond in a temporary solitaire setting for the proposal. Then, after the proposal, you two can pick out a permanent setting together.

My boyfriend has let me have an extraordinary amount of say in our engagement ring to be (currently being made!), and I appreciate it so much! We dated for years before we started thinking seriously about rings, and even then, I wasn''t clear at all on the setting that I wanted. Only after tons of research on here (thanks, PS!) did I develop the "perfect" setting for me. He has let me pick out the setting for the most part, but he has definately guided me the whole way when I was unsure about certain details.

To be completely honest, if he had surprised me with a setting that I had zero say in, I am quite sure that I would have cherished it forever and never thought twice about whether it is the one that I would have designed for myself. Still, I feel so blessed that he approached it the way that he did!

As for your second question, I''m not qualified to answer it, but I do know that insured shipping on a valuable diamond/ring can add up quickly with multiple shipments. In what city are you located? Perhaps some PSers could recommend a jeweler in your area so that you could pick out a setting in person. Or, there are numerous PS vendors who do excellent custom work (which would obviously not be returnable once completed absent a goof up on the jeweler''s part), and you could design and order exactly what you want. Finally, I believe there is a profile thread on PS somewhere that I saw earlier today...maybe you could get some ideas there?

Good luck to you and please keep us posted!

 

[litebrite]

I had complete creative control over the setting (within a reasonable budget) but the stone was one that had been in the family. I very much appreciated being able to design something that I will cherish forever, and which is beautiful and durable.

Ultimately I went with a designer that I found on PS, and I am really grateful to PS for the education and my hubby.

I think LadyLilac has a good solution if you want to keep the surprise factor by getting a temporary setting. You can also do this beforehand if you don''t want it to be as much of a surprise. This way you two can go together to different stores to try on different settings so that she finds one that is comfortable and suits her style. Not only would multiple settings be expensive mail-wise, but it''s also not the best use of your time.

I''d recommend that you and she go through the Show Me the Rings thread and look for examples of settings that she might like, and also consider what her lifestyle outside the hospital is. Like if she is going to exercise and cook while wearing the ring (I don''t), then you might want to get a bezel or semi-bezel. If she''s wearing it on a necklace, prongs or bezel should be ok, but you might want to go with gold vs platinum depending on the setting since plat is heavier. Also something that you admire on the page or in a window might not look quite as right on the hand.

If you look in search, I think a few other folks have asked about durable chains for wearing engagement rings. Congrats and you are asking the right questions, you just need to narrow stuff down some.

 

[luckedup]

Sounds like you need to take her shopping. Take her to the maul and wander around and walk into stores, buy some icecream, etc. Just make sure you walk into all the jewelry stores - its easy because they are usually on the corners and are laid out to sort of funnel you in. Start by looking at other types of jewelry items. Then just play curious and get her to try rings on (you can try some too). She will be more than likely to comment on what she likes and doesn''t like.
Then you can pick out something she is sure to appreciate and you come out

Mr. Wonderful.

 

[MatchMadeInCarbon]

Thanks so much for the great advice everyone! I''m doing my best to keep the big question a surprise. And that desire is why this decision to choose the setting myself or get her input is so difficult. I''m sort of a traditionalist & romantic, so I''d like to propose with a ring in hand. Upon further thought, I believe I''d like the ring that I propose with be the ring she wears forever too... jeez this is tough. So I think you''ll see me on PS again with one of the "Look at these X settings for my Ering!!!" posts.

I called GOG and they do have access to all the settings of their vendors. I''d just need to send them the style code & a picture (thanks Lorelei!). Although I''d love to have something more unique (out of a custom ring), I believe I wouldn''t be able to afford the fine detail of a Tacori (for example) if it was made custom. I''ll look into engraving the inside of the ring.

I saw that profile thread before and had forgotten about it - thanks for the reminder LadyLilac!

Good advice about the specifications Litebrite - I''m leaning towards platinum since it should help prong strength (please correct me if I''m wrong). I''ll definitely look up those threads regarding chains too.

I have a good idea of what she likes, her style & preferences. In all 6 years, I must have picked up something

!

I''ll keep PS updated/ thanks again!

 

[Ellen]

Just wanted to let you know, GOG also carries Precision Set, they just don''t have them listed.

As for WG vs. Plat, both are fine, and if well made (key), WG should pose no problems. Only real "con" is the replating that''s needed once in a while. There are zillions of women wearing WG all over the world.

 

[MatchMadeInCarbon]

thanks a bunch Ellen - I didn''t know about Precision!