Opinions needed on buying dream house

[xxxxxx]

Hello everybody,

I feel like pricescope members are very mature and have well thought through opinions, so I would be thankful to hear your thoughts on my dilemma.

My husband and me live in a very HCOL area in Europe. We have been looking for a nice house for at least 3 years now. We haven't found anything yet that matched our requirements (close enough to the next international school, at least 500m away from a bigger street etc.). So I have gone out and written letters to houses that I really liked. I didn't believe it but 80% of the time we got very sweet responses of the owners, that they don't want to sell. One person even was willing to sell (unfortunately the square feet were to small for us).

But my favorite house ( a rundown farm close to a small lake) never answered my letter. So I wasn't even sure if somebody was living there. So I asked in my local Facebook group if somebody knew the owner of this farm. And crazily enough a guy answered me and told me via email that he went to school with the owners son. And that the owner still is living in the farm and won't leave it till he dies.

One week later I get an email from this guy, that the owner unexpectedly passed away a few days ago. And that he had a chance to talk to the owners son and tell him he knew of people (my husband and I) who are highly interested in buying the farm.

Two months passed by and I reached out to my contact asking if I could have the sons phone number, because we would love to talk to him about his wishes regarding the property (if he wants to sell but still keep living there etc.) and that we would love to make an offer. My contact answered that the guy already has received several letters of people who want to buy the property, but that he just needs more time to Organise his new life and mourn his fathers death, before he can get Into the selling process. Then the contact said I should stay patient and that the son (the new owner) promised my contact he will get back to him about us.

This house is our dream house. Nothing like it ever even hits the market. It is worth in the higher six digits if not seven digits. But there are enough people who can afford it if they want to. But it also is a lot of work (no plumbing, no heating system yet).

I feel like I want to Introduce myself to the new owner via a second letter (the first letter when I didn't know who was living there I sent out about 12 months ago - when a sale wasn't going to happen as the father was still living). But my contact told me to be patient. I'm just so scared to loose the opportunity to somebody who is more brash. On the other hand I don't want to be disrespectful to my contact or the mourning owner.

How would you approach this situation to improve your chances of getting a chance to buy this house?

And how can I stop thinking about this? It's making me crazy I can't focus on work or diamonds atm

 

[pearlsngems]

Following my father's death in Florida, I moved my mother back to CT to take care of her (Alzheimer's) and rented out their house, which was in a highly desirable location. A few months later, I received a letter (addressed to my mom) from a woman who was in love with the house and desired to buy it. Her plan was to rent it out and eventually retire there with her husband. I replied that my mother was not ready to sell her home but that I would keep her letter and let her know if/when we decided to sell it.

Four years later it was time to sell the house. I contacted the woman, who was still very eager to buy it-- and she did. It was good for her and good for us! I'm glad she wrote to us.

So I think it's fine to contact the owner and respectfully convey your interest in the home. I'm sure you can word it sensitively so as not to create pressure. Anything you can say that might cause the seller to favor your offer over others is fair (e.g. a cash offer, no contingent sale of your current home, etc.)

Then let it go. Waiting is hard, but knowing you have done what you could will help.

 

[whitewave]

I hate to say it, but try and tone down the concept that this is your dream house. If you lose it, you will be devastated.

Houses in the US are sometime going hundreds of thousands of dollars over asking price (insanity)…. So even if you like him
And he likes you, someone else still might get that house.

I probably would send a condolence card with a short sweet note on an inserted piece of paper with no pressure or coercion with a little message and your contact information. Then don’t contact again for a long time…

When my MIL dies, it’s probably going to take me a year to clean it out to get it ready to sell. 1) we won’t be motivated to sell 2) we truly don’t have to sell (but it’s not a farm with a lot of land etc) and 3) it’s basically going to be me
Who has to clean it out, so it’s going to go slowly (she is a pack rat).

 

[whitewave]

I forgot to say good luck and I hope it ends up as yours!

 

[pearlsngems]

I like the idea of a condolence card, very much.

 

[Lookinagain]

I think this is a hard question since you don't know the son and therefore don't know what he wants. Does he only care about the most money he can get? does he care who ends up living there? Does he care what they plan on doing to it? Any of these variables can impact what he does with the property. I think all you can do is as others have suggested, a nice card with a note, not pressure. And also be prepared that he will sell to someone else. It sounds like this property will be a a lot of work so unless someone really wants a project like this ( I wouldn't) then the pool of buyers may not be as large as you think. Unless of course someone can come in and buy it and develop the land into multiple homes. Then you are looking at investors as competitors. There's not enough information to know if that is possible given zoning regulations, location etc. Best of luck. I hope it works out for you.

 

[LilAlex]

Don't drive yourself too crazy. It is almost always about the money, imo -- especially if the sale is by the heirs. Be prepared to bid high and be prepared to not get it (i.e., have back-ups). Best if there is no contingency (cash offer if possible). I am US-based and have not bought for a long time but I have followed many, many threads along these lines about HCOL real estate markets in the US. Maybe it is getting a little better with rising interest rates driving away some buyers (but perhaps not those looking at seven-figure properties), along with a tanking stock market.

 

[oceanblue]

Can you find out who else is interested in purchasing the house/land, essentially your competition? That would give you more information and help you think through your next step. If it is a neighbor of the farm or someone the family knows the competition will be different than just letters received in the mail. Maybe a real estate agent can help.

 

[xxxxxx]

Thank you all for your advice. As my contact to the owner told me to give the owner time, I will sit tight and wait patiently to be contacted. My husband is scared we will scare of the owner if we contact him even though it was communicated to us, that he still needs time.

 

[DAF]

I hope that this works out for you. What does "HCOL" stand for?

 

[LilAlex]

What does "HCOL" stand for?

high cost-of-living -- in the US, usually one of the coasts but could be a handful of places in between

 

[prs]

FWIW interest rates here in the USA have skyrocketed in the last couple of months. Mortgage rates will catch up, and this will mean house prices will inevitably start to fall.

At a given point in time people can afford a maximum monthly payment comprised of principal and interest. The interest portion increases as interest rate increases, so the borrower's principal portion has to decrease accordingly.

House prices tend to fall slower than they rise because human nature makes house owners like rising prices and hate falling prices. It's the owners who have to sell into the falling market that set the market pricing.

It's likely the same applies in Europe because interest rates are rising over there too.

 

[Bron357]

Tricky,
the line between between respectful and brash is very thin seeing as it’s a deceased estate.
By being too forward you could seriously offend the new owner and he might then disregard you out of hand.
If your interest in known, it really is a case of “sit and wait” even if it drives you crazy.
Maintain a relationship with your “contact”, friendly, polite and thanking them for keeping you in the loop. If they know enough to know there are other people interested and the beneficiary is still mourning, they are your best “foot in the door”.

 

[Lookinagain]

FWIW interest rates here in the USA have skyrocketed in the last couple of months. Mortgage rates will catch up, and this will mean house prices will inevitably start to fall.

At a given point in time people can afford a maximum monthly payment comprised of principal and interest. The interest portion increases as interest rate increases, so the borrower's principal portion has to decrease accordingly.

This is to true. The real estate market is cyclical. Interest rates go up and that forces prices down. So if as others as stated, if you are buying with cash, or a smaller mortgage, you are in a good position and waiting may put you in a better position than buying now (of course that depends on your competition).

 

[qubitasaurus]

I think your objective might be to make sure they think of you when they are ready to sell (whenever this might be). With this in mind I think the condolence card might be the best option. Nothing too forward and no pressure, just a card saying many condolences. I'd also have said that it might be worth talking to a bank to be sure exactly what you can afford just in case they do come back to you. From recent personal experiences, if you're trying to talk someone into selling, then you should realistically be planning on paying 10-25% above the expected (whatever you think it is worth) price. I'd have cleared that amount with the bank. Then I would have kept looking arround, as if nothing else this process helps me make the decision when the time actually comes.

 

[lilmosun]

How confident are you that your contact is legit and that he isn't having some fun at your expense? Are property records publicly available so you can confirm the owner has passed away recently?