Home Only Children...

[Mara]

Date: 11/19/2009 6:56:39 PM
Author: Pandora II

My mother has a fear that if something was to happen to Daisy that I would be left with no children and the part of my life as a ''mother'' would come to an abrupt halt. I do see that, but again it''s not a good reason to have another little person!

Jeez parents can be SO morbid!!

 

[D2B]

Pandora,

I am an only child. I never missed what I didnt have as I never knew what I missed out on, iykwim. My son, as per my previous thread, will be an only child, I am not worried about the social aspect at all, now, children take part in 1001 social/sporting activiities and have plenty of opportunity to mix and mingle.

I wasnt spoilt because I was an only child, i really think that parents who spoil kids, will do so regardless of how many they have, and I am not just talking about material things. I dont ever remember wishing for a sibling, didnt really think about it, I was busy doing things and happy.

I have seen with others, that having siblings does not mean you will keep in touch as adults or even like them, (my big fear for my son being an only child is that he will be alone, but plenty of people I know really are not close to their sbilings.)


hmm, I do feel responsible for my parents, but then I think that is because I am a girl and that is my nature. Again, if I had more siblings they might not care either way, but I am like that and will care. we have moved overseas and travelled extensivelly and we have always had my mum visit us and stay for a while. From what I have see with families, one sibling will be the one to shoulder the burden of looking after mum/dad, while the rest dont. I dont know, if becuase I was an only child I am closer to my mother, or that is just my nature, but I will look after her and I do take her into account when doing this, but it doesnt stop me, I simply invite her to come and join us for a visit when we live in different countries.

In short it didnt negatively effect me. There is so much for children to do now, I dont think my son will miss out per se. A big family can be great, but it can also be a great big pain, so I guess it is what you make of it.

However, the maternal instinct to have more children, that is a another story all toghetherl

good luck Pandora, it is hard to decide what to do, but as an only child, I really didnt even think about it while growing up, I was busy being a kid and having fun. It is only as an adult that I analyse these things.

d2b

 

[swimmer]

I was always so jealous of only children and am now wondering if our bean will be a solo. I''m the middle of 5, and grew up with many other kids in our house/family. I have about 3 memories of being alone with my mom or dad.

 

[Clairitek]

I''m an only child and when I was very young (maybe 8-11 years old) I used to want a sibling. Then, like Elrohwen, I noticed that my friends with siblings fought often so I realixzed that I had it made not having to argue constantly with a sibling. One thing I noticed about my friends who had younger siblings is that they often didn''t get to do some more mature things because it almost seemed like the parents aimed their decisions mostly at the age of the younger kid than the older one. Sort of like the parents just delayed the maturity of their older kid in order to give the younger one more time to catch up. Not sure if that makes sense but I''m not sure how else to word it.

One reason I wouldn''t mind having a sibling is that I know I will be the sole person there to take care of my parents in old age. After watching what they''ve gone through with their parents I am so glad for them that they each have siblings (although my father has dealt with his parents almost entirely alone). My mother has tons of health issues so I worry that I won''t be strong enough emotionally to deal with what might happen. I also worry that I won''t be wealthy enough to give my parents the care I would want them to have.

One final note- I do feel that growing up as an only child forced me to be pretty creative. I spent a lot of time entertaining myself growing up.