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One Wedding Ring

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Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
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Just wondered if anyone else is having or has just one ring for themselves and none for FI?

Mine doesn''t want to wear one - my father doesn''t have one either. I''m very happy about it - I get to spend his half on mine
.

My brother and his GF are talking proposal talk at the moment. She wants him to wear a ring and now I''ve told him that FI isn''t having one and reminded him that our father doesn''t he''s all happy and is refusing too.

Some of my friends think its weird and one suggested people will try and hit on him by mistake. I''m not too worried as:

a) we are pretty much always out together
b) he kind of likes being chatted up

c) he never stops talking about me to people

How common is it to have 2 rings these days? How do you feel about your FI having or not having a wedding ring?
 

MustangGal

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Jun 18, 2004
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I have 2 rings, I like being able to wear my wedding band alone when I don''t feel like "putting on the bling". My hubby picked out an expensive 2 tone band with 3 diamonds in it. Guess how many times he''s worn it in the last 5 years? May 10 times, mostly to the weddings we''ve attended. For everyday wear he has a titanium band. I think it might be a good idea to get a band for your FI, then you can do the ring thing during your wedding ceremony, and he would have the option to wear it later, even if he doesn''t wear it all the time. You can get titanium or tungsten bands on ebay for like $30-$40, so it wouldn''t even cut into your budget.

My hubby wouldn''t be caught dead without his band (he never takes it off), but when we got married I acutally assumed he''d never really wear it. My dad never wore his, and his dad didn''t either. It wasn''t a problem for me either way. Of course it helps that he doesn''t go anywhere without me, and works with 50 guys and only 1 woman who''s old enough to be his mother!

In the end it''s really up to what you 2 want to do.
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 29, 2006
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My husband is NOT a jewelry guy at all - but he wears his ring every day and I would be offended if he didn''t. JMO. It is a symbol. Not just to the rest of the world, but to himself, to me. I would be unhappy if he chose to not have a ring. If for some reason I was okay with him not wearing it, I''d still want to exchange them.

now, all of this said - this is archaic and symbolilc and totally unnecessary... but the same logic that deems it unnecessary for a man to wear a ring, makes it ridiculous for the woman to carry thousands on *her* finger as a symbol.

Now... all of *that* said - logic be damned ;-)
 

Cehrabehra

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Date: 3/9/2007 8:27:37 PM
Author: MustangGal
I have 2 rings, I like being able to wear my wedding band alone when I don''t feel like ''putting on the bling''. My hubby picked out an expensive 2 tone band with 3 diamonds in it. Guess how many times he''s worn it in the last 5 years? May 10 times, mostly to the weddings we''ve attended. For everyday wear he has a titanium band. I think it might be a good idea to get a band for your FI, then you can do the ring thing during your wedding ceremony, and he would have the option to wear it later, even if he doesn''t wear it all the time. You can get titanium or tungsten bands on ebay for like $30-$40, so it wouldn''t even cut into your budget.

My hubby wouldn''t be caught dead without his band (he never takes it off), but when we got married I acutally assumed he''d never really wear it. My dad never wore his, and his dad didn''t either. It wasn''t a problem for me either way. Of course it helps that he doesn''t go anywhere without me, and works with 50 guys and only 1 woman who''s old enough to be his mother!

In the end it''s really up to what you 2 want to do.
just a note.... wedding rings are not chastity belts LOL Wearing it all the time or not wearing it makes no difference whatsoever in fidelity. But it''s nice to know a man wants the world to know he''s taken :)
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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I really like that DH wears his ring... and enjoys wearing it. He never takes it off at all. And the cutest thing is I got him a silver engraved ring when we got engaged because I figured if I got a ring so should he, and he wears that ring on his right hand all the time. I guess it''s not so much that he wears them as much as it is the fact that I know he doesn''t like any type of jewelry and things, but he refuses to take his rings off. And you are right Cehra, a ring is not a chastity belt, lol, and I totally agree with both of your posts. From reading all of your posts, you and I seem to have a similar view of thinking, haha. I would also be offended if DH did not wear his wedding ring, and he actually gets very offended if I don''t wear my engagement ring or if I just forget to put it on. So I guess it''s also important that the emotions of the two people are similar.

*M*
 

Pandora II

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I''m all for archaic symbolism where MY fingers are concerned!

I don''t think my friends saw it as a chastity belt, but more that they check out a guy''s finger to see if he''s single or not.

Personally, I don''t mind - which is a good thing since FI won''t even wear a watch. The only thing he really wears a lot are some antique gold cufflinks I gave him for Christmas 2 years ago. We are adjusting the ceremony to reflect that we are both talking about my ring - ie giving and receiving.

I''m thinking of having some cufflinks made and engraved with part of my coat of arms or similar as a wedding present instead. (my father has a signet ring on his little finger with his arms on it which he uses with sealing wax to sign legal documents with)

I''m really interested in other peoples views on this rather than looking for advice - although I''ll probably need some for my poor brother!
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
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7,485
We never even discussed ring vs. no ring simply because it''s part of the ceremony and we never thought to alter that part of it. DH doesn''t wear jewelry and I couldn''t care less whether or not he wears his ring, but he does because it''s important to him, which works for me too. Sometimes he forgets it, or chooses not to wear it because he''s doing physical labor and then I tease him that he''s choosing not to be married that day. But most of the time I don''t even notice. He is a landlord and his female tenants have been known to point it out to him when he doesn''t have it on, which cracks me up. So my opinion is, do what works for you, but it is a nice part of the ceremony and he may change his mind one day and want to wear it (for special occasions or something) so it would be good to purchase a nice but not so expensive band for him and keep it in a safe place.
 

basil

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2006
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1,526
When my cousin got married last year they did not get a ring for her husband. Her explanation was that he does not wear jewelry and would not wear it. They did the "exchange" of rings with just her ring.

I guess I thought it was a little odd at the time that they wouldn''t just buy a cheap gold band to wear for the ceremony and special occaisions thereafter. I don''t know if he would have felt that if he had it, he had to wear it. Maybe that not wearing a ring was different symbolically than just not having one? I''m not sure. Maybe they just didn''t want to spend the money, but a simple 14k gold band or titanium band are fairly inexpensive.

I''m glad that fiance wants to wear a ring though. I don''t think I''d be offended or suspicious if he chose not to, but I just like the symbolism. I definitely check out people (men and women) looking for rings to know if they are married, just cause I''m curious, so I like the fact that people will automatically know he''s taken.
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 3/9/2007 8:56:36 PM
Author: Pandora II
I''m all for archaic symbolism where MY fingers are concerned!

I don''t think my friends saw it as a chastity belt, but more that they check out a guy''s finger to see if he''s single or not.

Personally, I don''t mind - which is a good thing since FI won''t even wear a watch. The only thing he really wears a lot are some antique gold cufflinks I gave him for Christmas 2 years ago. We are adjusting the ceremony to reflect that we are both talking about my ring - ie giving and receiving.

I''m thinking of having some cufflinks made and engraved with part of my coat of arms or similar as a wedding present instead. (my father has a signet ring on his little finger with his arms on it which he uses with sealing wax to sign legal documents with)

I''m really interested in other peoples views on this rather than looking for advice - although I''ll probably need some for my poor brother!
you know, this made me think (and maybe we can sic bling diva on a hunt for a pic of it!!) but christina aguilera (sp?)''s husband doesn''t wear a ring... he exchanged rings but he wears it as a detachable pendant or something around his neck.... I read about this on the site of the guy who made their rings... I forget his name... okay so basically this post is not much help at all LOL

BTW what a great ceremony "Yes honey - you give and I receive" I like it!!!!
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
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Date: 3/9/2007 8:39:52 PM
Author: poptart
I really like that DH wears his ring... and enjoys wearing it. He never takes it off at all. And the cutest thing is I got him a silver engraved ring when we got engaged because I figured if I got a ring so should he, and he wears that ring on his right hand all the time. I guess it''s not so much that he wears them as much as it is the fact that I know he doesn''t like any type of jewelry and things, but he refuses to take his rings off. And you are right Cehra, a ring is not a chastity belt, lol, and I totally agree with both of your posts. From reading all of your posts, you and I seem to have a similar view of thinking, haha. I would also be offended if DH did not wear his wedding ring, and he actually gets very offended if I don''t wear my engagement ring or if I just forget to put it on. So I guess it''s also important that the emotions of the two people are similar.

*M*
:) Are you sarcastic, inappropriately witty, and verbose as well? hehe - just kidding ;-)
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2006
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Date: 3/9/2007 10:51:06 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
Date: 3/9/2007 8:39:52 PM

Author: poptart

I really like that DH wears his ring... and enjoys wearing it. He never takes it off at all. And the cutest thing is I got him a silver engraved ring when we got engaged because I figured if I got a ring so should he, and he wears that ring on his right hand all the time. I guess it''s not so much that he wears them as much as it is the fact that I know he doesn''t like any type of jewelry and things, but he refuses to take his rings off. And you are right Cehra, a ring is not a chastity belt, lol, and I totally agree with both of your posts. From reading all of your posts, you and I seem to have a similar view of thinking, haha. I would also be offended if DH did not wear his wedding ring, and he actually gets very offended if I don''t wear my engagement ring or if I just forget to put it on. So I guess it''s also important that the emotions of the two people are similar.


*M*
:) Are you sarcastic, inappropriately witty, and verbose as well? hehe - just kidding ;-)
But of course... and appropriately humble as well, haha.
 

february2003bride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
3,545
Gosh, I love that DH wears his wedding band! He never takes it off, even in the shower or at the gym. I''m a romantic and love the idea of wedding rings and for all the world to see that we are married and I''m very sentimental about his ring. I''d probably be devastate if he lost it, I love it that much!

Pandora- I think that''s great that you and ok with your FI not wearing a wedding band. To each his own, and it won''t make you and your FI any "less married" by his not having one.
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,038
My DH originally said he would not wear a WB. Funny how not only did he want to wear it BEFORE we got married he has yet to take it off
Just tell him you want him to have a ring regardless. He might surprise you!
 

Fancy605

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
1,446
My fiance is not a jewlery guy either. KNowing this, I have told him it is very important to me that he be willing to wear his wedding band all the time. He grummbled about how he doesn''t like the feel of jewlery, but then he quickly agreed with me. I guess it''s a little old fashioned of me, but it is important to me, and I can''t really explain why. I trust my fiance, and I know his morals would not allow him to stray from me, so I''m not worried about the ring being some sort of magical force field. (Like other''s mentioned, a piece of jewlery isn''t going to stop one from cheating). I suppose I just like the symbolism. Or--maybe I am just too much a product of society.

At any rate, if you don''t need jewlery symbolism, then more power to you.
 

MustangFan

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Joined
Feb 27, 2006
Messages
935
My Father is a machinist and he reused to have one for safety reasons. When you are welding hot metal can get under there and burn a hole right thru- you.

My b/f said he would wear one, but not to work either for the same reasons, also it would be scratched dented in a matter of a day at work
 

fisherofmengirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 14, 2006
Messages
3,929
My husband was not really liking the idea of wearing a wedding band, even though I *really* wanted him to have one. We shopped for what seemed like forever, and it took him a lot of time to choose one that felt right, looked right to him, and made him happy.

For him, it ended up being Titanium; he says it weighs much less, that it doesn''t shine too much *he says rings that shine and glimmer are girly,* and that he doesn''t get bothered by it at all.

Anyway, prior to him finding his ring, he said he''d wear his occassionally, but not to be upset if he just couldn''t get in the habit of wearing it. The way he described it was that it "confined" his fingers, made it hard for his fingers to move like normal, or whatever. A lot of men''s rings are pretty bulky, and he assumed they all were, I guess.

Now that he''s found a ring that he loves, he wears it every day. He takes it off every night to let it *breathe* even though it has no diamonds and I don''t think it needs to breathe, but he likes to feel like he''s taking good care of it. When I clean my rings, I also clean his, which makes him so happy. He forgot it on the way to work one morning, and came back to get it because he felt *naked* without it, and he wanted everyone to know he''s married.

My point in saying all this is to say, like another posted, things change sometimes once a man''s married. What was once *girly* is now something he really loves to wear.

Maybe you can suggest he try on a variety of widths, metals, styles, finishes, and see if any of those feel comfortable to him.
 

risingsun

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 19, 2006
Messages
5,549
My DH, who is definitely not a jewelry person, wears his w-ring all the time. We just upgraded my wedding set and I asked if he would like an upgrade of his band. He declined. I suggested we have a suprise diamond put inside the ring and he said that was silly. I''m going to leave his ring alone and just let him enjoy it
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
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Date: 3/9/2007 10:54:49 PM
Author: poptart

Date: 3/9/2007 10:51:06 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 3/9/2007 8:39:52 PM

Author: poptart

I really like that DH wears his ring... and enjoys wearing it. He never takes it off at all. And the cutest thing is I got him a silver engraved ring when we got engaged because I figured if I got a ring so should he, and he wears that ring on his right hand all the time. I guess it''s not so much that he wears them as much as it is the fact that I know he doesn''t like any type of jewelry and things, but he refuses to take his rings off. And you are right Cehra, a ring is not a chastity belt, lol, and I totally agree with both of your posts. From reading all of your posts, you and I seem to have a similar view of thinking, haha. I would also be offended if DH did not wear his wedding ring, and he actually gets very offended if I don''t wear my engagement ring or if I just forget to put it on. So I guess it''s also important that the emotions of the two people are similar.


*M*
:) Are you sarcastic, inappropriately witty, and verbose as well? hehe - just kidding ;-)
But of course... and appropriately humble as well, haha.
humility is a good thing ;-) for other people!!! (again - kidding LMAO)
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 3/10/2007 9:56:02 AM
Author: MustangFan
My Father is a machinist and he reused to have one for safety reasons. When you are welding hot metal can get under there and burn a hole right thru- you.

My b/f said he would wear one, but not to work either for the same reasons, also it would be scratched dented in a matter of a day at work
see and your bf has good sense! If someone cant'' wear it for work, that''s fine... but what about all of the other hours in the day? my husband is an engineer and electrician and there are times he''s had to take it off, but there are many more times he doesn''t!
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 3/10/2007 1:07:05 PM
Author: risingsun
My DH, who is definitely not a jewelry person, wears his w-ring all the time. We just upgraded my wedding set and I asked if he would like an upgrade of his band. He declined. I suggested we have a suprise diamond put inside the ring and he said that was silly. I''m going to leave his ring alone and just let him enjoy it
I want to get my dh a new one... one in white gold but he won''t have anything to do with that. He doesn''t like yellow gold... his watch is stainless... and yet there''s that gold band LOL
 

Scooba

Shiny_Rock
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Messages
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I don''t know any married men that don''t wear a ring....but I wouldn''t care if FI didn''t, I don''t much care for jewelry on guys anyway, I guess he wants to though
 

ForteKitty

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Messages
4,540
Some school did a study regarding this. They found that men who wear wedding bands get hit on MORE at a club/bar/event than men who don''t wear a band. Go fig.
 

chickflick

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Date: 3/10/2007 2:26:08 PM
Author: ForteKitty
Some school did a study regarding this. They found that men who wear wedding bands get hit on MORE at a club/bar/event than men who don''t wear a band. Go fig.
That was my first thought- there are a lot of awful women out there (married and not) who see the wedding ring as a challenge. In any event, my husband wanted to wear one and it was never questioned. I think he liked that he got to pick out his just like I got to pick out mine. I like that it''s a reminder of our marriage to him, not necessarily the world. I think it''s whatever works for you and your husband!
 

Pandora II

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Joined
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I did a bit of research...

Apparently it only became common for men to wear wedding rings since WWII when men were going away overseas and wanted a reminder of their wives to take with them, and it was much more common in the USA.

When I think about it I actually don''t know many men outside my own age group who wear wedding rings here in the UK.

Personally, I don''t want to distract my boy from this "I give, you receive" line of thinking
. MINE, yes, it''s ALL mine, MY ring, my SPARKLIES...
 

Logan Sapphire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2003
Messages
2,386
My husband wears a wedding ring, as did both of our fathers. All of my married friends wear rings, both the men and women. Personally, I would be hurt and offended if my husband didn''t want to wear a ring, but each to their own!
 

Blenheim

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Joined
Feb 27, 2006
Messages
3,136
The Methodist ceremony that our pastor handed us was written assuming only one ring was exchanged, but they also had the wording to substitute in otherwise. He asked us which one we wanted to use. I hadn''t realized until then that sometimes only one ring is exchanged, but it seemed to be the default there. FI really wants to wear a wedding band, and I personally prefer it for symbolic reasons. But, to each his own.
 

RoseAngel04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
865
I'm having my e-ring and w-band. FI has a w-band that he will wear once we're married....we actually just picked it up yesterday!!! YAY! He's not a jewelry wearing guy at all, so it'll be an adjustment for him but it's important to both of us. I agree with some of the others, I like it for the symbolic meaning.
 

ljmorgan

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Mar 5, 2006
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Is men not wearing a wedding band a regional thing? I don''t think I''ve ever met a married man who purposely did not wear a wedding band. The closest I ever saw was my dad and his friends who worked on cars would take them off when they were working on them.

My husband never wore jewelry, wouldn''t even wear a watch. But it never occured to us that he wouldn''t wear a wedding band? I think that I would be offended. Sometimes it makes me feel good when I look over at my husband and see that band on his finger, it makes me smile.
 
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