"One Thing I Learned..."

[selflove]

You know how Martha Stewart Weddings magazine has the little section "One thing I learned..." where brides tell the one thing they would do different or that they learned or whatever, about their recent wedding? Well, I would really love to hear what all the brides on PS learned, whether recent or long ago. Or if you went to someone else''s wedding that gave you some great idea share that too. I''m starting to think about all the details now and I really want more ideas from the real world. THANKS!

 

[MINE!!]

ONe thing I learned.. is that it is important to remember that it is only 1 DAY IS THE REST of your lives together.

 

[JCJD]

I learned... if something doesn''t work out, you weren''t meant to have it in the first place and something better will come along.


Some of you will remember my photographer crisis - I found a photog in our price range (below actually), but for reasons unimportant now I was unable to book him for our day. I freaked out, etc etc, and in the end we found our wonderful photographer, same price for more package, exactly what we wanted in terms of style, etc etc, fabulous!

Also, we wanted to have our rehearsal dinner at a particular restaurant, FI''s dad wanted it at another place, so we let him decide cause he was paying, and it was still great. So don''t sweat it too much!

 

[ame]

One thing I learned is to find a way to be alone just the two of you and you can let the photographer run around and snap photos of it but make it private, no one in your family or bridal party.

 

[JCJD]

Date: 10/10/2005 9:33:29 AM
Author: ame
One thing I learned is to find a way to be alone just the two of you and you can let the photographer run around and snap photos of it but make it private, no one in your family or bridal party.

I second!! The 30 mins we spent alone before the formal pics started with just the photographer was my favorite part of our wedding day.

 

[fountainfairfax]

Ok so, it''s not "One Thing" but a few:

Things I learned from my first wedding experience:

Have one day a week where you & FI do not talk about "The Wedding" , we had "wedding-free wednesdays" and were still talking to each-other when the big-day came.

Try to not become insulted or hurt if others don''t "get" some of the more personal details of your wedding ceremony or reception- people will ask you every chance they get "why are you doing it that way?"

Remember that these people are your guests, respect their tastes & wishes, too- I had a very strict list of songs to be played at the reception, because the ex & I had eclectic tastes....not 2 minutes into the reception my MIL requested "Celebration" by Cool & The Gang and I started to lose it...I had forgotten that people came there to also have their own kind of fun while celebrating our marriage. Trying to stop The Chicken Dance will make everyone unhappy.

If your dress has a bustle, make sure that more than one person knows how to do it for you. My Mom & sister couldn''t get it right and I walked around lopsided & dragging the whole time (The girl who knew how to do it disappeared w/ her FI )

In hindsite, though- if I had to pick one thing is would be: make sure that you & your photographer are on the same page, that you have a very good understanding of what you want, of what kind of photos would make you happy. Pick out photos that you like in their portfolio and say "I''d like shots like these." Back in ''92 candid and photojournalistic styles were not popular for Long Island, NY weddings (I was living in Tempe, AZ where I saw many photographers who did it well) and I told the photographer that''s what I wanted..I think I''m the only bride in history who did not order a single reprint or album...I took one look at the proofs and said "there isn''t anything here that I want copies of." I put the proofs in a book and that was it....pretty sad! (and for the record, while yes, I was a Fine Art photography major, our parents didn''t order anything either. We had snapshots from friends that were a better reflection of our day.)

 

[rfath]

I''m sure I''m starting to sound like a broken record, but... we learned that a sense of humor really makes everything better...

 

[lilyinct]

Don''t forget that this is YOUR wedding...no matter what parents, siblings, etc. say and do....keep a clear head and a sense of humor..

 

[pebbles]

As others have said, don''t sweat the small stuff. If you expect not everything to go perfectly, then when something does happen, it won''t faze you as much.

I am usually a Type A person. The week of our wedding I told myself that I was going to kick back and not get rattled if something doesn''t go exactly to plan. I was completely calm and collected -- everyone thought I was taking Xanax! Anyway, on the day of our wedding our bagpipe player didn''t show up. So we just had the DJ play something. No one even knew. Also, our wedding cake was a LOT smaller than what I expected. We referred to it as the "Barbie cake"! My MIL was completely aghast; my husband and I just laughed. You can''t let those things ruin your day.

Also, I''m not sure what kind of wedding you have, but if you decide to have a receiving line to greet everyone, make sure you get through everyone before you sit down for dinner. We had a large wedding and the guy from the country club came up to me and said we have to sit down as they wanted to serve dinner. There were still a lot of people in the receiving line. I said we aren''t sitting until we greet all our guests. He was ticked off but it only set things back about 10 minutes. To this day we have people tell us that it was great that we stayed to greet everyone. I went to a friend''s wedding last year where she did not greet everyone. She sat down when there was still around 50 people (including us) in line. She also didn''t bother to go around to the tables to make sure she had said hi to everyone. It unfortunately caused a lot of bad feelings - the only time I saw her was when we were leaving. Remember that your guests are taking out their time to come to your wedding; the least you can do is to say hi, even if it is for only a minute or so.

I would also add please keep in mind that not everyone is going to be as thrilled talking about wedding plans as you are. I found a few times when I talked to my friends their eyes would gloss over after a while when I was going on endlessly over different types of invitations. Don''t take it personally. I agree to have days where you do no planning or talk about the wedding at all. It keeps things fresh that way too.

 

[selflove]

Thanks for all the advice--I love it! Keep ''em coming!

More on the receiving line later--I know I''ll have questions on that as we start planning the timeline of the days'' events.

 

[Mara]

This is more destination related, but I learned that you cannot make everyone happy and so you have to do your best to try to make everyone feel welcome but there are always people who want more more more from you...

Also, remember that this is ultimately about you and your fiance pledging your love and lives to each other, so don''t sweat the small stuff. No one remembers how the tables were decorated 10 years from now and even you start to forget what your hair looked like that day.

In the end you just have the best memories and the fabulous pictures.

 

[abradabra]

1. I didn''t believe this until the wedding was over, but the best advice I got was that the most important vendor you can get is your photographer. It''s the only tangible thing (well, that and the wedding set) you have after the wedding. In terms of personal preference, I am so, so glad I went with a photojournalist because I love the random pics so much more than the posed shots--they''re more natural and more how I want to remember the event. But that''s taste more than advice.

2. This kind of echos what a lot of other people have said: when I was walking down the aisle, all I could think was "this was so not worth stressing over." I was just happy to be there and could have done it anytime, anywhere. Make someone else stress about the details--they ultimately aren''t that important.

3. Turn your cell phone off when your guests start arriving. We had our friends calling to ask what rooms other friends were staying in and tons of similar annoying questions. People will figure stuff out without you and you will be a lot less stressed out if you avoid the annoying questions.

 

[jcrow]

i was going to start a thread about this very same topic. i searched first and found this thread and decided to add to and bump it. i think imput here can be very valuable!

i''ve learned several things already and the wedding is two months away...

1- if you hire a calligrapher, be careful about water!! last night FI and I thought it would be easiest to buy an envelope moistener instead of licking them ourselves. BAD idea! a little of water + calligraphy = a HUGE BLURRY MESS! needless to say, i''m happy that we only ruined 4 outer envelopes. we are having them redone today.

2- LIKE your vendor or don''t hire them. i know this sounds simple, but it''s easy just to hire someone b/c either they fit your budget, have your date available, you heard good things about them, or you''re running out of time. don''t just go booking away... really consider their PERSONALITY! is it a good fit with yours??

i fould out this the hard way. for example, our florist. everyone was saying we should use her, she was the go-to florist in town. this was back in january and people were saying be sure to book NOW b/c she books quick! well i did. then i started hearing she used FAKE flowers in the mix of real ones. and apparently she was one of the more expensive florists in town!! i didn''t know either of these things at the time. so i started looking around and found another florist who GOT what i was saying. GOT my vision or whatever. he''s been awesome to work with thus far. we really CLICK. this is SOOO important! well when we told our first florist we no longer needed her services- in the most polite way i must add- she flipped out! especially after that, i''m so happy she''s not our florist anymore.

our photographer is the same way. i really LOVE her personality! she''s quiet and easy going BUT not in the sense that she doesn''t pay attention to detail. she does. she''s very detail oriented. the day of my bridal portraits she was very calming. in a stress-filled time this is HIGHLY important, to me. i''ve been to other weddings where the photographer was nearly the center of attention. yelling out loud to get the smiling shots, etc. very anonying to me. glad we have who we do.