Old-fashioned minded folk!

[Dreamgirl]

Mini vent (didn't know where else to vent about this.)

So my cousin is recently engaged and I am currently helping my aunt look for a wedding venue for her. She wants an outdoors wedding with a reception inside. She also doesn't want to pay much.

Anyway, my mom and my other aunt have no problem 'expressing' their feelings about things and they both think outdoor weddings are just flat insane. My aunt thinks people should only get married in chapels/churches and my mom thinks its stupid because people have allergies and what if it rains.

I tell her "Backup plan!"

It upsets me a bit because FF and I have a dream wedding site in mind that we both LOVE (my mom knows some about it) which by the way happens to have the ceremonies OUTSIDE! It's incredibly gorgeous and completely us. I've been madly in love with it for a couple of years now. Also, there is NOTHING else that I've seen that makes me feel as excited as this place. Also, if sadly it rains, you can hold your ceremony inside.

I've even told my mom in the discussions of my cousins' wedding that I want an outdoor ceremony too. This only leads me to believe that when my time comes, my mom will throw a tizzy fit about my dream location and I picture myself becoming incredibly upset over it because I'm very close to her and if she doesn't approve of it---how could I ever have my dream venue? I know that this really is no big deal at the moment (not getting married yet) and yada, yada, I could just do whatever I want in the long run. But that's just not how it works for me. As crazy as it sounds, I value that old-fashioned minded mother of mines' opinion.

RATS. Woe is me...

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

You know DG - when I got engaged and we picked a museum full of armor and swords as our venue I truly thought my mother was going to flip her lid. Instead, she embraced the idea.

I think that there is something to be said for seeing the excitement in your child''s face when they find the "perfect" venue - somehow all those old fashioned thought patterns fade away. Bit by bit I watched my mother go from being horrified that we chose Halloween as our date to being super excited and very into the planning.

Don''t discount anything...you may wind up being very surprised with how supportive your mom will be of what you want for your big day.

 

[TooPatient]

grandeventrentals.com

They rent canopies and all sorts of stuff. You can set it up all elegant and outdoors and if it rains just move it into the covered area. They do set up and take down and everything. Even beautiful covers for the poles and more.

Suggest it for your cousin''s wedding and show your mother that it can work. (and if it doesn''t, you''ll know to do it differently for yours)

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 9/9/2009 6:36:54 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
You know DG - when I got engaged and we picked a museum full of armor and swords as our venue I truly thought my mother was going to flip her lid. Instead, she embraced the idea.

I think that there is something to be said for seeing the excitement in your child''s face when they find the ''perfect'' venue - somehow all those old fashioned thought patterns fade away. Bit by bit I watched my mother go from being horrified that we chose Halloween as our date to being super excited and very into the planning.

Don''t discount anything...you may wind up being very surprised with how supportive your mom will be of what you want for your big day.

Good point. I could possibly see that happening. I''d just hate to have to pick some place that I don''t like just to make her happy. I talk about this dream venue from time to time. She knows FF and I have been up to it 3 times (never went in, only drove up to it) I''ve done much research on it, it just seems like the perfect place. I guess it bothers me when I hear her going on a tangent about my cousins'' ideas of her wedding because in my mind, I''m just reading her reactions thinking about my own future wedding. lol

I will keep in mind what you said though. That makes me feel better! Thanks!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 9/9/2009 6:39:45 PM
Author: TooPatient
grandeventrentals.com

They rent canopies and all sorts of stuff. You can set it up all elegant and outdoors and if it rains just move it into the covered area. They do set up and take down and everything. Even beautiful covers for the poles and more.

Suggest it for your cousin''s wedding and show your mother that it can work. (and if it doesn''t, you''ll know to do it differently for yours)

Awesome. I''ll check it out! As I told my mom, some places are rain or shine. Some have no back up plans. But the place I like would take it inside. Tents are always a nice option too.

Thank you!

 

[purelily]

Hi Dreamgirl definitely check out a tent They have some GORGEOUS tent settings out there. We are leaning towards a tent because we are thinking of getting married at an aquarium in Hawaii. Tents are gorgeous, then you can have dancing under the stars! Since you are very artistic, I have no doubt you will be able to design a tent setting to be STUNNING

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 9/9/2009 6:36:54 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
You know DG - when I got engaged and we picked a museum full of armor and swords as our venue I truly thought my mother was going to flip her lid. Instead, she embraced the idea.

I think that there is something to be said for seeing the excitement in your child''s face when they find the ''perfect'' venue - somehow all those old fashioned thought patterns fade away. Bit by bit I watched my mother go from being horrified that we chose Halloween as our date to being super excited and very into the planning.

Don''t discount anything...you may wind up being very surprised with how supportive your mom will be of what you want for your big day.

I agree - I thought my mum would have a fatal heart attack once I told her that I planned to marry an Amercian man and move 6000 miles away

Well... turns out she couldn''t be happier for me and loves my FI - phew!!!

 

[mayachel]

I know just how you feel! An outdoor ceremony was a non-negotiable for me. My mother, has had a string of rained out events in her lifetime, and so is the biggest naysayer about this concept. It took a good couple of months for her to stop ending every statement about the event as though it were already arranged for it to rain on our wedding. We picked a place that had ample indoor space should we need to move the ceremony indoors. Finding a venue that offered both of these options AND could fit 180 people inside was the hardest part. Granted I haven''t yet been vindicated with my clear blue skies and moderate weather, but I definitely have doubts about our venue, and a feeling of having "settled". So don''t! If it rains, it rains just have a back up plan.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

hey dg, is it in denver? i won''t steal it, mine is in nd just curious what you had in mind!

 

[Maisie]

I would start talking about your dream venue now. That way it won''t be such a shock to her. Keep dropping it into conversation and soon enough she will be used to hearing about it.

 

[princesss]

DG - you''ve got plenty of time to get this worked out! Your cousin will plan her wedding and get married, and your mom and aunt will fuss and hem and haw over how it''s not *just right* until the actual wedding. Then they''ll be blown away by it, and by the pictures, and suddenly outdoor weddings will be all they can talk about and envision, so when you get engaged they''ll be super excited to have another outdoor wedding, and it''ll be all smiles. Your cousin is breaking them in for you. Be grateful.

 

[elrohwen]

When I first showed my mom a picture of my future wedding dress (before I had even tried it on) she hated it and said it looked like a ballerina dress

I still loved it and tried it on anyway. When I showed her the pics and told her I was going to buy it she said "I don't remember hating that one! It's so pretty on you!" Lol To this day I don't know if she was being honest or back pedalling because I was actually buying it

Either way, most moms seem to step out of the way when they realize you really love something. Hopefully yours will too!

 

[Steel]

Date: 9/10/2009 12:48:04 PM
Author: Maisie
I would start talking about your dream venue now. That way it won''t be such a shock to her. Keep dropping it into conversation and soon enough she will be used to hearing about it.

Ditto.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Thanks ladies! You've made me feel much better about this!

purelily- Wow an aquarium in Hawaii sounds amazing! Thanks for the compliments by the way...

Londongirl1- Yeah, I could completely imagine my mom having a fatal heart attack if I were doing something like that too! I'm glad your mom is happy for you!

mayachel- Your mom sounds a bit like mine. She always thinks/worries the worst will happen in every situation. (Oh my gosh, I just realized I sometimes do the same thing...

example: this thread. lol) I love her to death, she's my best friend! That's why it bothers me that she feels this way about outdoor weddings.

Smurfy- It's NEAR Denver

lol you crack me up! You wont steal it! ha!

Maisie- I actually drop it in conversations from time to time. Which is why she knows about it. Gosh, just last Saturday FF and I were in the area so we once again drove up to the place but as always, there was a wedding taking place so we couldn't get out and look around. That's ok though, it's probably best I don't physically look at the place until we book a tour....

Until then, I'll just browse photos of the place online (like I do) and add photos to my library of dream wedding site...I will certainly continue to drop it into conversations though. Thanks!

princesss- ha! I know I've got time. But you have an AMAZING point. I should have my cousin break them in for me. This can totally work to my advantage. You've just painted a huge picture in my mind right now. Thank you so much!!!

elrohwen- Haha! I can see my mom saying that. I've shown her gowns that I like in the past. And while helping out with my cousin, we have been looking at gowns for her online. So of course my mom thinks strapless gowns are "ugly" lucky for her I'd get one with straps anyway so no worries in that department. I've even jokingly said to her "Oh you will be so much fun to go gown shopping with!!" lol

 

[princesss]

Glad I could help. This is one of those times where the scenic route to the altar can work waaaaaaaaaaay in your favour. It''s giving me time to slowly indoctrinate everybody to my way of thinking, too. Out goes the big wedding, in goes the small beach ceremony. Baby steps. It''s all about baby steps.

 

[Black Jade]

Don''t worry about this, honestly, life is too short.
So what if they did say behind your back when you got married? What would it matter? You can''t please everybody!
Enjoy your cousins wedding and don''t worried about what people say. Everybody''s stressed planning a wedding and they say all kinds of things that they don''t even mean.
The only serious objection I ever heard about outdoor weddings is if you''re Catholic--apparently, you can''t do them in that case as you are SUPPPOSED to be inside a church for religious reasons. But I suppose you would know that from the get-go then (if you were devout enough to care). And even then, you could still have an outdoor reception.
It all works out in the end.

 

[kittybean]

I am so curious as to where this dream venue is! Keep working on your mom--she will definitely get used to the idea

. This summer was exceptionally wet, but it really doesn''t rain that much in Denver, especially if you have a morning or early afternoon ceremony, so you can point that out to her.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

lol i dont wanna steal it, i just wanna oogle at it and go ooh and ahh lol
its not the botanical gardens is it? bc you know...those are haunted...just saying...lol

 

[Dreamgirl]

princesss- You are a funny gal!

Black Jade- Very true. Thanks!

kittybean- You could easily figure it out.

(click on the link I've provided to Smurfy below and you will know where it is) Lets just say that I happen to know you took a look at it for your reception but you didn't care for it. It's in the mountains, not far away at all..... Your right, we had a crazy wet summer. Maybe there will be a drought when I get married? Funny you mention morning or early afternoon for a wedding. My mom said the same thing to me. When I told her AGAIN in a discussion about dream site she said to me..."Well you better have it in the morning then" lol

Smurfy- lol I know YOU wont steal it. But what if someone else does?

I FEAR that. I know I'm not getting married but how many lurkers are there reading what I post? lol And no, its not the Botanic Gardens. Part of that reason is just as you said, it's haunted. lol What I will give you is this: click me! Perhaps I will upload some photos to my Who's Who page as I'm currently putting pictures in there. These would be photos I didn't take but of dream site...

 

[Smurfysmiles]

oh that looks very familiar, that lake wouldn''t happen to be a reservoir would it? lol then again i am probably totally wrong bc i don''t think i''ve ever seen a castle in the mountains...hmm...this is such a fun game! maybe i have an excuse to drive up in the mountains this weekend to see if i see it lol man i need to get out more haha

 

[Dreamgirl]

lol You are VERY COLD. We did drive by a castle last year but that isn''t what''s in the pictures. And the lake is where we originally went but this place is in another town from the lake on the way back down from the mountains...

Now, I realize this entire topic has shifted. I don''t mind. ha! I just realized something after looking at that thread from last year. Maybe I''m reading too much into this but check it out.....

Last year when we went by dream site, it was Saturday September 6. Call it coincidence, fate, something he''s up to...but this year he took me up there Saturday September 5. So.........what''s that about? One year exactly and we go there again. Strange!

 

[Maisie]

It is very difficult to please everyone where weddings are concerned. Each family is different and has different expectations. I guess you know your family the best and you will know if you can get away with having the wedding you want without any major drama. If it was me I would want to please everyone - including myself. If your venue is an absolute priority then you should stand your ground.

 

[jcarlylew]

DG i hear ya... my mom even thinks the dress i picked out is to formal for outside, and that ceremonies should include everyone, whereas receptions only include family.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Thanks Masie! I sure prefer to please my family and myself..of course.

Jcar- Wow! It''s amazing that mother''s have such opinions on these things...