Wedding Okay, so I had no IDEA how irritating this is. You all are right!

[Gypsy]

LMAO. John's irritated about it.

Did I mention I'm planning my bachelorette party too-- MOH isn't familiar with the area, wanted to go club hopping iniitally (not my scene), and now wants a real spa (not the pedi/ mani's I had planned) experience? Why? Cause she needs a good massage. I'm SERIOUSLY thinking of just nixing it. I have zero enthusiasm. If I have to plan one more thing for this wedding I'm gonna stab someone.

There I said it. All better now. Pass the Xanax, please.

Thank you for the sympathy Linda. Everyone keeps commenting on my lack on enthusiasm for wedding related things. Leaves me speechless. And my mom last week told me that she thinks I'm really stressed and should talk to someone about it. Um... how about I talk to you about it ma, and ya stop adding to my stress? Waddya think?

 

[Linda W]

OK Gypsy that is it. You live in the bay area. Come to our house, relax by our pool, DH will make you a margarita and will BBQ you a great dinner.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Jeeze Gypsy I am sorry girl. So much on your shoulders!

Sounds like it''s time for a bubble bath and a glass of wine!

 

[violet02]

I don''t see why you have to put ''2 seats are reserved...'' or hand out tickets (which would seem weird to begin with). If your name or your guests name or ''and guest'' isn''t on the envelope that means, you, your kids, your mom, some guy you met on the corner are not invited!! This is one of the reasons why I liked to know the name of everyone I wrote invitations to and I didn''t want to put ''and guest''.. and yes I know this isn''t possible for everyone... it makes it very clear though that MR. X and MS. X are the ones invited no stranger, no kids... Sorry I''m off on a rant... makes me nuts!

My FI''s parents family friends have a son that wasn''t invited (none of their kids were invited). Then I got the email from him that his sister had forwarded him my email addy and that he would indeed be coming. I was like um... ok... and he was like oh yes and my wife and kid can''t make it this trip, thanks. Gee, thanks for letting me know! But of course my FI wants him there now that he invited himself... before he didn''t even bother to invite him citing space and the fact that he probably wouldn''t come, so we didn''t invite him.

This stuff just puts you in an awkward position. Gypsy I don''t blame you for calling when they''re at work. I would to! How lame to be put in that position though... Also Gypsy, don''t plan your darn shower! If I had to do that too I''d lose it! Someone else needs to do that for you! SERIOUSLY!

Oh and miracles... I DREAD someone just showing up un-invited at the wedding. DREAD IT. We have a shuttle that only carries 24 people at a time and we''re handing out scheduled shuttle times. One of my FI''s college friends said he''s a NO but he MIGHT show up! UGH. I dread the moment when someone goes to get on the shuttle at their scheduled pick up time to find out that someone showed up uninvited and is sitting in their spot. I''ll be so PO''ed. That''s like a 30 min wait til the next one. That''s when you need to hand out tickets!

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:39:49 AM
Author: Gypsy
LMAO. John''s irritated about it.

Did I mention I''m planning my bachelorette party too-- MOH isn''t familiar with the area, wanted to go club hopping iniitally (not my scene), and now wants a real spa (not the pedi/ mani''s I had planned) experience? Why? Cause she needs a good massage. I''m SERIOUSLY thinking of just nixing it. I have zero enthusiasm. If I have to plan one more thing for this wedding I''m gonna stab someone.

There I said it. All better now. Pass the Xanax, please.

Thank you for the sympathy Linda. Everyone keeps commenting on my lack on enthusiasm for wedding related things. Leaves me speechless. And my mom last week told me that she thinks I''m really stressed and should talk to someone about it. Um... how about I talk to you about it ma, and ya stop adding to my stress? Waddya think?

Gypsy, NIX IT if you have to plan it. It''s not worth putting yourself through more planning if you don''t even want to do it to begin with. I can''t believe your MOH can''t plan a spa thing without you planning it. Tell her to use Yelp and find some good reviews on a place, call everyone else and book it for you. To have to wrangle more people to do something sounds like pure torture. I''m sure you can tell by now how much I feel your pain. I get this throbbing pain in my temple when I feel something going downhill... probably bursting a blood vessel!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:42:44 AM
Author: violet02
I don''t see why you have to put ''2 seats are reserved...'' or hand out tickets (which would seem weird to begin with). If your name or your guests name or ''and guest'' isn''t on the envelope that means, you, your kids, your mom, some guy you met on the corner are not invited!! This is one of the reasons why I liked to know the name of everyone I wrote invitations to and I didn''t want to put ''and guest''.. and yes I know this isn''t possible for everyone... it makes it very clear though that MR. X and MS. X are the ones invited no stranger, no kids... Sorry I''m off on a rant... makes me nuts!


My FI''s parents family friends have a son that wasn''t invited (none of their kids were invited). Then I got the email from him that his sister had forwarded him my email addy and that he would indeed be coming. I was like um... ok... and he was like oh yes and my wife and kid can''t make it this trip, thanks. Gee, thanks for letting me know! But of course my FI wants him there now that he invited himself... before he didn''t even bother to invite him citing space and the fact that he probably wouldn''t come, so we didn''t invite him.


This stuff just puts you in an awkward position. Gypsy I don''t blame you for calling when they''re at work. I would to! How lame to be put in that position though... Also Gypsy, don''t plan your darn shower! If I had to do that too I''d lose it! Someone else needs to do that for you! SERIOUSLY!


Oh and miracles... I DREAD someone just showing up un-invited at the wedding. DREAD IT. We have a shuttle that only carries 24 people at a time and we''re handing out scheduled shuttle times. One of my FI''s college friends said he''s a NO but he MIGHT show up! UGH. I dread the moment when someone goes to get on the shuttle at their scheduled pick up time to find out that someone showed up uninvited and is sitting in their spot. I''ll be so PO''ed. That''s like a 30 min wait til the next one. That''s when you need to hand out tickets!

Violet that is also my fear! This may sound INSANE..but I plan to have a guest list with the venue people directing people to the ceremony site..and I want them to check the guest list for each person coming in. Like a..bouncer..or..something. Insane..I know, but it''s my plan. No wedding crashers, plz.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:41:41 AM
Author: Linda W
OK Gypsy that is it. You live in the bay area. Come to our house, relax by our pool, DH will make you a margarita and will BBQ you a great dinner.

Can I just come stay with you till the wedding? LOL. ((BIG HUG)) Thank you VERY much Linda. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. A LOT.

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:46:59 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS

Violet that is also my fear! This may sound INSANE..but I plan to have a guest list with the venue people directing people to the ceremony site..and I want them to check the guest list for each person coming in. Like a..bouncer..or..something. Insane..I know, but it''s my plan. No wedding crashers, plz.

Okay sorry for the threadjack but.. I am thinking of doing the same thing! I want to give the driver a check list and if someone tries to get on that isn''t ''scheduled'' for that time slot they will be told to wait their turn or if they just plain aren''t on the list! I doubt it will get THAT drastic but a) it will be a chance to check off who''s there or not there and b) it will help just in case someone DOES show up uninvited.

 

[Linda W]

It is so unbelievable how rude people can be. I don''t know where manners have gone, in this day and age. They seem to have flown out the window.

When my daughter married 13 years ago, her future MIL called me at the very last minute and said there were 10 more added to the guest list. DH and I totally freaked out. We could not afford, at the time, 10 more people. I finally told her, she was going to have to pay for the additional people. She had been a pain from the start.

You may disagree with me, but we had to do it, she paid for them, but griped the whole time.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:48:13 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 8/19/2008 12:41:41 AM

Author: Linda W

OK Gypsy that is it. You live in the bay area. Come to our house, relax by our pool, DH will make you a margarita and will BBQ you a great dinner.

Can I just come stay with you till the wedding? LOL. ((BIG HUG)) Thank you VERY much Linda. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. A LOT.

Of course you can Gypsy, would love to have you.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:42:44 AM
Author: violet02
One of my FI's college friends said he's a NO but he MIGHT show up! UGH. I dread the moment when someone goes to get on the shuttle at their scheduled pick up time to find out that someone showed up uninvited and is sitting in their spot. I'll be so PO'ed. That's like a 30 min wait til the next one. That's when you need to hand out tickets!

Okay apparently I'm not done ranting. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT! Seriously? WTF!! We had some do this too. A close friend of my moms says, she's not sure she can come. They might be selling their house (this is the reason they can't come... whatever), and so she RSVP's no, BUT CALLS and says she MIGHT come... and oh, BTW, if she does come we 'don't have to feed her." I bit my tongue bloody to keep from saying "can we give you a dunce cap and make you sit in the corner too, during dinner when EVERYONE ELSE IS EATING?!" John was incredulous.

We should write a book. "A villiage somewhere is missing its idiot... BECAUSE THEY ARE AT YOUR WEDDING."

Sarah honey, thank you very much honey.


As for threadjacks... this is a Gypsy thread. Any and all threadjacks welcome all the time. Promise.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:50:24 AM
Author: violet02

Date: 8/19/2008 12:46:59 AM

Author: SarahLovesJS


Violet that is also my fear! This may sound INSANE..but I plan to have a guest list with the venue people directing people to the ceremony site..and I want them to check the guest list for each person coming in. Like a..bouncer..or..something. Insane..I know, but it's my plan. No wedding crashers, plz.

Okay sorry for the threadjack but.. I am thinking of doing the same thing! I want to give the driver a check list and if someone tries to get on that isn't 'scheduled' for that time slot they will be told to wait their turn or if they just plain aren't on the list! I doubt it will get THAT drastic but a) it will be a chance to check off who's there or not there and b) it will help just in case someone DOES show up uninvited.

Sounds great to me!!

It definitely gives you a record of who actually showed up but maybe didn't sign the guest book..which is nice I think.

ETA: Gypsy we're here anytime as you know..and I think your book idea sounds great!

 

[miraclesrule]

Isn''t there a song with that title? Uninvited. Dude!! (channeling Freke''s DUDE!), I don''t think I could refrain from having the DJ play that song at the wedding if someone did show up "uninvited".


Gypsy, have you ever had a full body massage? If not, now IS the time to get one!! If it is your first, it may take more than 30 minutes to actually learn to relax, which is not easy at first, but it will be extremely therapeutic and I would go for it. Mani and pedi''s are essential, but it is nothing compared to a real relaxing massage. If you don''t want a stranger touching your body, well...then...just call me. I will fly up with my table and make sure that you aren''t stressed.

If you want me to do a little "delicious discomfort deep tissue" on your Mom, just say the word.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:51:11 AM
Author: Linda W
It is so unbelievable how rude people can be. I don't know where manners have gone, in this day and age. They seem to have flown out the window.

When my daughter married 13 years ago, her future MIL called me at the very last minute and said there were 10 more added to the guest list. DH and I totally freaked out. We could not afford, at the time, 10 more people. I finally told her, she was going to have to pay for the additional people. She had been a pain from the start.

You may disagree with me, but we had to do it, she paid for them, but griped the whole time.

like "GO LINDA!" You are MY HERO! That's awesome. I totally agree with you. I'm amazed she paid for them, though!

Manners seem to be long gone, I agree.




Violet. I'm really thinking of nixing the bachelorette party. I'm just not interested in it. At this point, even if someone ELSE planned it (*snort*) I wouldn't want to go. I already found a restuarant, made reservations, found a spa, got the email addy's of the ladies too. But, I just can't see myself relaxing. And because MOH wants to see her parents on Friday night (wedding is on Sunday), we have to do it one Saturday night. As we get closer to the wedding, I just can't imagine having an activity to do the night before, ya know?

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/19/2008 1:00:20 AM
Author: miraclesrule
Isn''t there a song with that title? Uninvited. Dude!! (channeling Freke''s DUDE!), I don''t think I could refrain from having the DJ play that song at the wedding if someone did show up ''uninvited''.


Gypsy, have you ever had a full body massage? If not, now IS the time to get one!! If it is your first, it may take more than 30 minutes to actually learn to relax, which is not easy at first, but it will be extremely therapeutic and I would go for it. Mani and pedi''s are essential, but it is nothing compared to a real relaxing massage. If you don''t want a stranger touching your body, well...then...just call me. I will fly up with my table and make sure that you aren''t stressed.

If you want me to do a little ''delicious discomfort deep tissue'' on your Mom, just say the word.

I love massages miracles. But swedish bores me, and deep tissue bruises me (though it works wonders eventually) and I don''t want to be bruised for my wedding day. I got one the other day, and it was GOOOOOD. John''s been urging me to go again, and I''m thinking Saturday baby. Or heck. Maybe tomorrow. I''m working from home tomorrow. Hmm... this idea sounds really good. Massage. Tomorrow. mmmm.

As for the discomfort deep tissue for mom. To be perfectly fair: my mom is weaning herself off the morphine her two spinal surgeries last year addicted her to right now. So she''s got issues enough. I just wish, selfishly, that it wasn''t impacting me so much right now. Any other time I''d be okay with unstable mom for the most part, but new job and 35 days to the wedding is just not good. That''s why I''m needing to vent about it. It''s pretty much all I can do about it. She flipped out on me on Friday night too, and said some hurtful things I know she didn''t mean... but well, it''s just been a little hard to deal with what with everything else going on.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:57:17 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS



ETA: Gypsy we''re here anytime as you know..and I think your book idea sounds great!

Thank you AGAIN sweetie. You''ve been such a good friend, wish I could reciprocate-- but I WILL, just after my wedding. ((HUGS))

 

[FrekeChild]

((((((BIG FAT HUGS)))))))

I can''t even express how POed I''d be. I have to say that this is one of the reasons I''m not getting married here. I don''t want to have to deal with it. Because I have a feeling that I''m going to go from nice Freke, to Frekezilla, and that would not be pretty. For any involved.

If you want to fly to NM, I''ll totally plan a Bachelorette party for you! (And if not, I''d get miracles to go to Linda''s, so then you can get a massage AND margaritas and BBQ. And if you do that, can I come?!)

Nix the shower. That''s ridiculous. That would be a Frekezilla moment. "I SAID NO!!!!!!I DON''T CARE IF YOU WANT IT!!!"

See? It''d be bad...

(And thanks to miracles for the "DUDE!" nod.

)

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 8/19/2008 1:11:02 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 8/19/2008 12:57:17 AM

Author: SarahLovesJS




ETA: Gypsy we''re here anytime as you know..and I think your book idea sounds great!

Thank you AGAIN sweetie. You''ve been such a good friend, wish I could reciprocate-- but I WILL, just after my wedding. ((HUGS))

You''re a great friend, no worries!! ((Hugs)) I can''t wait for your wedding though, it''ll be beautiful and a well-deserved relief of stress!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/19/2008 1:23:45 AM
Author: FrekeChild
((((((BIG FAT HUGS)))))))

I can''t even express how POed I''d be. I have to say that this is one of the reasons I''m not getting married here. I don''t want to have to deal with it. Because I have a feeling that I''m going to go from nice Freke, to Frekezilla, and that would not be pretty. For any involved.

If you want to fly to NM, I''ll totally plan a Bachelorette party for you! (And if not, I''d get miracles to go to Linda''s, so then you can get a massage AND margaritas and BBQ. And if you do that, can I come?!)

Nix the shower. That''s ridiculous. That would be a Frekezilla moment. ''I SAID NO!!!!!!I DON''T CARE IF YOU WANT IT!!!''

See? It''d be bad...

(And thanks to miracles for the ''DUDE!'' nod.

)

My name is Gypsy and I am a Bridezilla, dude.

And can I tell you? A PS shower or bachelorette would rock. Espcially if it was a GROUP event... for all the brides. We''ll have to do it at the "big" gtg... either in Vegas or NY. All of us wearing veils. LOL. Okay, I''m loving this idea.

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:55:08 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 8/19/2008 12:42:44 AM
Author: violet02
One of my FI''s college friends said he''s a NO but he MIGHT show up! UGH. I dread the moment when someone goes to get on the shuttle at their scheduled pick up time to find out that someone showed up uninvited and is sitting in their spot. I''ll be so PO''ed. That''s like a 30 min wait til the next one. That''s when you need to hand out tickets!

Okay apparently I''m not done ranting. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT! Seriously? WTF!! We had some do this too. A close friend of my moms says, she''s not sure she can come. They might be selling their house (this is the reason they can''t come... whatever), and so she RSVP''s no, BUT CALLS and says she MIGHT come... and oh, BTW, if she does come we ''don''t have to feed her.'' I bit my tongue bloody to keep from saying ''can we give you a dunce cap and make you sit in the corner too, during dinner when EVERYONE ELSE IS EATING?!'' John was incredulous.

We should write a book. ''A villiage somewhere is missing its idiot... BECAUSE THEY ARE AT YOUR WEDDING.''

Sarah honey, thank you very much honey.


As for threadjacks... this is a Gypsy thread. Any and all threadjacks welcome all the time. Promise.

Ooh ooh I got another one like that! I ping one of my supposed single friends to see whats new with her. She tells me what she''s not sure if ''we can make the wedding or not yet''. I was like ''Who''s we?'' She says ''oh my boyfriend''. ''What boyfriend?'' Basically some guy that lives in LA.. on again off again. No one I have ever met. I told her I didn''t know she was bringing a guest. She said ''oh I never thought to ask''... then she says if she lets us know late then no worries ''theyl''ll'' just come for the ceremony and reception but they WON''T EAT!! That makes it even MORE awkward! So they''ll just come sit on the sidelines and watch the rest of us eat? EH? Makes me INSANE! I told her no it was not okay for her not to eat so just let me know and I''ll fit her in. (CRINGE.. yes I had to make concessions!)

Anyways Gypsy, let me get this straight, your party is the night before your wedding? Are you serious?? That''s SO not relaxing sounding to me. The night before my wedding I want to be going to be early and chiling out... Good lucky Gyspy! Whatever happens, just try to relax and have fun and go home early if it sucks!

That book title made me LOL!! Great one! And I''d LOVE a PS shower/bachelorette party event!

 

[Gypsy]

Okay, what is wrong with people? Who says, "I'll come to your wedding but you don't have to feed me

?!?"

I don't know if it's scary or comforting that it apparently isn't an isolated incident.

As for the bachelorette, yeah. Saturday. The more I think about it, the less I want to do it. Especially as months ago I had the brilliant idea of spending the night as my parent's house the night before the wedding, so I won't be in my own bed, and my parent's home is frankly not 'relaxation central.'

I suggested to MOH that she spend the night at her parent's on Saturday, and we do the bachelorette on Friday, but her flight doesn't get in till 9 pm (with good reason, though, I totally get why she's getting in then), so by the time we get anywhere from the airport its gonna be really late, as the bachelorette party would need to be near Livermore, Dublin, Pleasanton... and she's flying into either San Jose or San Fran (don't recall which). The tri-valley area is not a hotbed of night life past 10pm, if ya know what I mean, so we'd be stuck going to seedy bars for the most part, and she'll be exhausted.

So the solution sounds like a nice night with just my MOH. And maybe I'll tell mom she can give that room away and that MOH and I will stay at a hotel. That last part is probably just wishful thinking. Mom already turned down her SIL staying with them because I'm spending the night on Saturday, so she'd kill me if I changed plans on her. Ambien. And Xanax. I'm gonna be the poster child for the bride on drugs

.

 

[bee*]

Fair play to you Gypsy for setting things straight with them. That''s so so irritating that someone would add on numbers.

 

[Pandora II]

You poor thing!

I only ended up with two extras - DH''s cousin and his wife, who we really like, have two young children (6 and 4) and since the DH''s uncle and aunt were at the wedding too and her parents live in South Africa when their baby-sitter pulled out at the last minute they were stuck. I''d booked them all into the hotel across the road from the venue and they were all going to take turns babysitting all day, so I rang them up and told them not to be silly and just bring the kids.

I was really short on space, but the venue fixed up a tiny table and added it next to the table with the other kids and it all worked fine.


Fortunately we don''t have showers here and I nixed the hen party (very relieved I did that and don''t feel I missed out at all).

I hope you sort everything. I do think their behaviour is extraordinary!

 

[Cleopatra]

I had this happen to me - except the woman called my mother and told her that she was bringing her TWO children AND their dates....and of course, my mom, being put on the spot, said ok - ugh

Also, I mentioned this in another thread that DH and I have lots of friends, some closer than others - and we jointly decided to not invite this one guy - we''re friends with him, but in no way close - well, he was the very first person I saw as we were walking into our reception site.

I guess he assumed his invite was lost in the mail...

Needless to say, we had uninvited guests invite themselves - There was nothing I could do about it when I was there, so I decided to shrug it off and enjoy myself - but I know how frustrating and annoying it can be - Take care of this NOW while you have the chance! I simply don''t understand some people

 

[purrfectpear]

I think there''s a concept of a start up in this thread.

Wedding Busters, Inc.

You email the names and phones numbers of the people you need "disinvited" and the Wedding Busters do it all for you

Note: for an additional charge they will stand at the door to the venue with a list and a stun gun.

 

[doodle]

pear, THAT is a brilliant idea! something like a marital mafia with trench coats, and if you show up uninvited you get taken for a ride in the trunk!

 

[ChinaCat]

Well, a guest at our wedding invited some girl he had just met and her friend to "crash" our party. Yep, we''re dancing away and notice some blonde girl with big hair and lots of make-up being twirled around and leaning into our pictures- I am like, who IS that? No way she''s one of my friends!

Turns out the guy had "told" DH that he was bringing a date and what could DH say? It was like the night before when he told him. Oh, and she brought a friend for our other friend. So two girls I have never seen before are flipping their hair around the dance floor.

I really couldn''t care less, she had the decency only to show up AFTER the ceremony and seated dinner, so really she just danced and I assume helped herself to the open bar. We had some last-minute cancellations, so it probably evened out. I was having such a great night, I didn''t care. I just thought it was a bit weird- more so on her part. And maybe b/c she was a bit bimbo-ish looking. I admit, I judged her just a little bit.

Now, if she had showed up for dinner and messed up my seated dinner, I would have been

 

[pjean]

Date: 8/19/2008 2:15:09 AM
Author: Gypsy

So the solution sounds like a nice night with just my MOH. And maybe I''ll tell mom she can give that room away and that MOH and I will stay at a hotel. That last part is probably just wishful thinking. Mom already turned down her SIL staying with them because I''m spending the night on Saturday, so she''d kill me if I changed plans on her. Ambien. And Xanax. I''m gonna be the poster child for the bride on drugs

.

This is a GREAT idea. Maybe you can sell it to your mother by telling her how disappointed you and your MOH would be if you couldn''t have a bachelorette night. Part of the whole wedding experience, right? If you''ve gotta do the shower, you should at least get a relaxing evening and early night some place with no relatives and a sinfully comfortable bed.

And room service.

 

[Linda W]

Gypsy did you leave a message for those people and did they call you back?????


Linda

 

[Gypsy]

Hi Linda, no today was really busier for me than I expected (the days I work from home I'm sometimes busier than I would be at work), by the time I went to do it, it was later in the day and I didn't want to risk it. I'm going to call tomorrow. Thanks for checking in on me!

So, I told John I'm cancelling my bachelorette party and he was upset and --- he voluteered to plan it. So, oddy enough, my groom may be planning my hen night. It gave me the warm fuzzies. He's a good man. And I'm very lucky. He also offered to help my mom plan the shower (admittedly strange, but very sweet) iand s now in charge of finishing up the rehearsal dinner coordination (I was planning that too) and all the present tracking. I really can't wait to be his wife.