Wedding Okay, so I had no IDEA how irritating this is. You all are right!

[Gypsy]

ARGH. You all are ABSOLUTELY FREAKING RIGHT. People adding their kids to the invites is the SINGLE MOST ANNOYING THING that has happened in this wedding planning process. And the kids are in their TWENTIES. AND I TOLD THEM, FLAT OUT, NOT A MONTH AGO THAT THEY WEREN'T INVITED. Seriously, we were sitting at at dinner, with their parents, and I SAID, "We're having a small wedding so unfortunately only X and Y are invited, and I can't invite BOY AND GIRL."

I am calling them tomorrow, when they aren't home (and are at work) and telling them that I'm sorry, but they can't come. Period. I'm leaving a message. Yes, I am. I'm chickening out.

And yes, I find it absolutely utterly INFURIATING that I have to do this.

I'm sorry. I've read the posts. I've given advice. But I had no idea!!!!!!

 

[musey]

Date: 8/18/2008 11:17:17 PM
Author:Gypsy
I am calling them tomorrow, when they aren't home (and are at work) and telling them that I'm sorry, but they can't come. Period.

You tell 'em, Gypsy!!

I wish I had the cajones. It has only happened to us once so far, but I let it slide. Shame on me.

 

[blondebunny]

oh im so sorry... sometimes i think people have selective hearing....

goodluck though

 

[Gypsy]

OH, and I called my mom about it. And she's like... "I don't know what to do about that"

Thanks mom.

Thanks for letting me vent guys.

 

[musey]

Date: 8/18/2008 11:20:11 PM
Author: Gypsy
Thanks for letting me vent.

You vent when you need to vent, girl!! That''s what we''re here for!

 

[Gypsy]

Musey, its not a matter of cajones. The people that did this are EXTREMELY catty and competitive with their siblings who are almost invited-- who also have kids, who are also not invited. If I DON''T stop it, their siblings will be offended. And I don''t blame them.

 

[Izzy03]

Oh wow, I would be PISSED! Good for you for putting your foot down!

 

[Diamond Confused]

do you know if adding passes would help prevent this situation? I went to a debutante ball and there was one ticket (very pretty) for each person invited. We got four for our family so I knew no SO could come.

I was thinking of trying this.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Go for it girl! It is downright rude for them to do that. We''re here for you and support you all the way!!

 

[iheartscience]

I still am shocked every time this happens! And I''m sure it will happen to me since it happens to everyone else! UGH! I''m glad you''re calling them. And a message still counts!

 

[Gypsy]

DC... I don't know. Maybe. But I thought talking to them BEFORE the invites went out and telling them point blank that their kids (who were also there) weren't invited would work. So apparently, there is a better idiot out there than I am capable of out-thinking.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 8/18/2008 11:34:42 PM
Author: Diamond Confused
do you know if adding passes would help prevent this situation? I went to a debutante ball and there was one ticket (very pretty) for each person invited. We got four for our family so I knew no SO could come.


I was thinking of trying this.

I don''t know...tickets for a wedding just seems a little weird to me...I can understand for a ball though. But I think a wedding is different.

This is unfortunately just something that sucks about weddings. I am so sorry Gypsy!!!

 

[Linda W]

Date: 8/18/2008 11:17:17 PM
Author:Gypsy
ARGH. You all are ABSOLUTELY FREAKING RIGHT. People adding their kids to the invites is the SINGLE MOST ANNOYING THING that has happened in this wedding planning process. And the kids are in their TWENTIES. AND I TOLD THEM, FLAT OUT, NOT A MONTH AGO THAT THEY WEREN''T INVITED. Seriously, we were sitting at at dinner, with their parents, and I SAID, ''We''re having a small wedding so unfortunately only X and Y are invited, and I can''t invite BOY AND GIRL.''

I am calling them tomorrow, when they aren''t home (and are at work) and telling them that I''m sorry, but they can''t come. Period. I''m leaving a message. Yes, I am. I''m chickening out.


And yes, I find it absolutely utterly INFURIATING that I have to do this.


I''m sorry. I''ve read the posts. I''ve given advice. But I had no idea!!!!!!

Gypsy, People are unbelievable aren''t they? Especially when they include their Adult kids??????? Geez.


Linda

 

[Gypsy]

Hi Linda, yeah. I mean, the daughter doesn''t even live at home. She owns her own home.

 

[Linda W]

OMG Gypsy are you serious??????? That makes it twice as bad.


Linda

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Wow Gypsy that is just ridiculous.

 

[trillionaire]

This happened to my parents. They were invited to a wedding, but their three kids were not. My parents couldn''t make it, after all, but I talked to the bride about it later, and she apologized for not inviting all of us, but they were on a budget and keeping it small. They wanted to at least have a representative from the family, and couldn''t justify picking and choosing between my sibs. I really would have loved to have attended the wedding, but I understood her position. It was no big deal. I''m still a little sad to have missed it, but that''s life.

We didn''t write in any names, but we would have liked to

 

[blondebunny]

Date: 8/18/2008 11:37:33 PM
Author: Gypsy
DC... I don't know. Maybe. But I thought talking to them BEFORE the invites went out and telling them point blank that their kids (who were also there) weren't invited would work. So apparently, there is a better idiot out there than I am capable of out-thinking.

LMAO(not at the situation) to your last sentence... hahaha

Goodluck and lay down the law... Im telling u people really have selective hearing.. I know some that do...

 

[Shoopy]

I''m sorry you guys are going through this

I tell you I have so much more respect for brides and a higher standard for how I should act as a guest after listening to all these stories.

can I ask why or how these people can even invite more people along?? did you use one of those invites that have a line for how many guests they are bringing? Just out of curiousity.

 

[Neveah]

UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH!!!

You are right that is the most annoying, rude, frustrating, mind boggling thing.....

Happened to us as well. I absolutely refused to accomodate because it made me so mad!!! Good for you!!!!

People are so ingnorant.... or just plain don''t care... I can''t figure it out!

Good Luck and keep us updated!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/18/2008 11:43:42 PM
Author: Linda W
OMG Gypsy are you serious??????? That makes it twice as bad.


Linda

Yeah. Dead serious.

 

[miraclesrule]

People are just flat out indescribably strange. Well, wait...I should say that EGOS are strange, souls are not.

I know that my daughter didn't have to deal with many of these issues because most of the children of her DH's relatives are all young and the relatives actually looked forward to a classy adult only wedding where they could take the night off from kids. My daughter didn't have any family, except for me, my Mom and StepDad and my drunkarse JerrySpringer of an ending wedding fool of a brother. All the rest were her friends and only a few of them had very young children that they sent off for an overnight with their family so the couple could have an adult night.

The one problem she did have was when she told her best high school friends at a birthday party that she was engaged and planning her wedding and one of the friends said "OMG, I'm so excited, I finally get to be a Bridesmaid" Ummm, no you don't. And it was worse when said friend's aunt said "OMG, I can't wait until your wedding, it's going to be amazing!!"

My daughter called me and said "Moooommmmmmm, what am I doing to do? You should have seen their excitement, I don't know what to do!!" I helped her develop the explanation to her friends about why they wouldn't be BM's and I even told her that she could use me as her scapegoat if she wanted to. We did invite the Aunt and a guest because both me and my daughter were invited to same friends aunt's wedding, so we made an executive decision. Besides, we do love them and they were part of a huge support system when she was growing up. We just didn't think about all the people who automatically made the assumption that they would be invited.

Gypsy, I feel for you girl. It's maddening. People don't get it. And some people may show up with extra uninvited guests anyway. I see it happen all the time. It's so classless, but whatareya'gonna do? We made sure we had at least 10 extra seats available in case anyone did that, but we were fortunate and it didn't happen.

I love that you are calling them and leaving a message on the answering machine. I wish I could be that indirect sometimes.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/18/2008 11:49:39 PM
Author: fieryred33143

can I ask why or how these people can even invite more people along?? did you use one of those invites that have a line for how many guests they are bringing? Just out of curiousity.

Yup We did the M_________________________ thing. I should have done the "2 seats are reserved in your honor"... but, then again... I SPOKE to them. The daughter even said to me "Oh, that's okay, I understand"... of course since she doesn't even live at home its possible she doesn't even KNOW. Ahh, well. They'll figure it out when I CALL THEM.


Trillionaire, I like the kids and ideally, sure they could be there. I am going to use the script you just laid out for me. Thanks! I appreciate it.


Miracles, I'm not sure what I would do if people just randomly brought other people. But I know it happens.

Looks like it's gonna be Xanax on the wedding day too.

Oh, and BTW my mother told me on Saturday that she moved my bridal shower up a week (its now next week), I have to get the cake for it, and she has no idea what people do at showers, so I'm supposed to plan the events too.

Have I mentioned I don't want a shower.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Miracles I am totally feeling you. People who haven''t seen you in months assume they are invited..so frustrating.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:01:19 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 8/18/2008 11:49:39 PM
Author: fieryred33143

can I ask why or how these people can even invite more people along?? did you use one of those invites that have a line for how many guests they are bringing? Just out of curiousity.

Yup We did the M_________________________ thing. I should have done the ''2 seats are reserved in your honor''... but, then again... I SPOKE to them. The daughter even said to me ''Oh, that''s okay, I understand''... of course since she doesn''t even live at home its possible she doesn''t even KNOW. Ahh, well. They''ll figure it out when I CALL THEM.


Trillionaire, I like the kids and ideally, sure they could be there. I am going to use the script you just laid out for me. Thanks! I appreciate it.

Regardless of what you used, they should have known better.

 

[Linda W]

Gypsy, I haven''t followed your wedding thread well, so excuse me for asking. Aren''t your bridesmaids supposed to plan your shower? That is just more stress for you.


Linda

 

[miraclesrule]

Hahahaha, are you gonna jump outta your cake?

I''m sorry, that was just plain mean of me. Get ready to unwrap all the unmentionables my dear.

 

[Gypsy]

Hi Linda, long story short: Only have one attendant, my MOH. She lives in Jackson, Mississippi. Despite my telling my mom I don''t want a shower she doesn''t want me to miss out on the "full bridal experience"... my aunt (uncles wife) was going to throw me one, but her father just passed away and she''s in mourning. SO... mom decided not a week ago that she''s throwing me one. And on Saturday moved up the date. And today told me that a) I have to get the cake and b) plan the events.

And I have no IDEA what to plan as they are all HER friends. John''s family and all my friends live OOT and won''t be coming. YAY!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:17:13 AM
Author: miraclesrule
Hahahaha, are you gonna jump outta your cake?

I''m sorry, that was just plain mean of me. Get ready to unwrap all the unmentionables my dear.

I''m gonna get you for that.

Just wait.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 8/19/2008 12:22:42 AM
Author: Gypsy
Hi Linda, long story short: Only have one attendant, my MOH. She lives in Jackson, Mississippi. Despite my telling my mom I don''t want a shower she doesn''t want me to miss out on the ''full bridal experience''... my aunt (uncles wife) was going to throw me one, but her father just passed away and she''s in mourning. SO... mom decided not a week ago that she''s throwing me one. And on Saturday moved up the date. And today told me that a) I have to get the cake and b) plan the events.


And I have no IDEA what to plan as they are all HER friends. John''s family and all my friends live OOT and won''t be coming. YAY!

Oh Gypsy that is a lot of work for you to do.