Okay...now what?

[Tybee]

Wahoo! We''re engaged...but now what? I haven''t the foggiest idea how to get started! We won''t get married for a year (I have to finish grad school first) but I know that we''ve got to start planning.

Is there a book or a guide that you all can recommend? We''re not too rich, Dad said he''d help, but not sure how much. I know that we both want to celebrate with all our friends, but we don''t want to go into debt!

Any advice out there?

 

[lindsal]

Tybee, I am now at t-minus- seven months to the wedding and found the thing that has helped me the most is that the dear fiance and I sat down about a week after the engagament and openly talked about a) budget and b) the vision/game plan for the day/weekend.

We are paying for nearly all of our wedding and set a fairly liberal budget that we are strictly holding our selves too. I know now that by the time we pay all the expenses we will come in real close to that number, perhaps just a smidge over, but without it planned in the beginning I am sure costs would have skyrocketed out of control.

We also sat down and talked about the "ideal picture" everything from time of day, music, flowers, table setting etc.. early and drew a kind of screen play for the day.. it helps guides us in making decisions and helps our vendors to understand what we are looking for in our special day.

There are SOOOO many resources out there to help you get organized, check out ideas and ettiqutte lessons etc.. sometimes it can feel like information overload. I find that my www.theknot.com local to-be-wed board is really helpful, but I hear that some are hit or miss in terms of valuable posters.

Maybe we should start putting all the efforts we put into find the right stone into finding the right wedding vendors.. I am sure that we''d be bang up at it. Good luck.

 

[Tybee]

Thanks so much! It feels like we have plenty of time, but I am the nervous-type. Your advice is great. He and I need to sit down and sketch out a rough draft of it all. We will also be paying...seems like an awfully expensive party, doesn''t it? My next step will be to check out theknot.
Thanks again!

 

[glaucomflecken]

Congratulations Tybee!!!

The first thing we did after we got engaged (well after announcing to friends and family) was to decide what time of the year and when we wanted to get married, and then set our church date. Once that was done, we looked at caterers and halls. My stress level dropped 100 points after that was done. I wanted to get all "big vendors" out of the way so then I interviewed and booked my photog, videog, and the DJ. Now I''m taking some time off to get the "little stuff" done. Kind of working on honeymoon right now. They usually require a deposit and they pay off before the big day so we have a year to save.

Definitely decide who you want to invite, write everyone you would, then decide who you can and can''t cut. I''m basing my catering budget on what it would cost if everyone on my list showed up.

I also recommend theknot.com, Ive found some of my vendors on the local message boards and got to hear good and bad about some before making the decision. Also recommend "Bridal Bargains" by Denise and Alan Fields.

And dont forget ebay!!!!

goodluck!

 

[MelissaSue]

Tybee--

I too recommend "bridal bargains"! Its very realistic... they tell it to you how it is. I bought the Knot Wedding Planning books too, but from Amazon, not from theknot.com, it was about $20 cheaper that way, plus free shipping. I haven''t found htem that useful as of yet, but I haven''t really started planning much. I haven''t found the boards on theknot.com, to be that helpful. People don''t respond much, and active threads don''t get bumped up to the top so they disappear, sometimes in half a day, without being responded too.

Do you have a date or general idea for a date yet?

Melissa

 

[abradabra]

I''m pretty much more Type A than anyone else ever, so I just immediately booked the church and the reception site. Actually, I had all that done within three days of being engaged if you can believe that! Five weeks later, all I have left are the invitations, transportation and bridesmaids'' dresses. But I''m crazy like that and already had a vision of where I wanted to have it.

The best advice I can give you is to sit down with your fiance and figure out what is important to you--where you are willing to skimp and where you really want to blow your budget. For example, we really wanted gourmet food and an open bar--so more of our budget went there than say, a band, flowers, etc. In setting a budget, I''d start researching local vendors and then set it. I was really unrealistic in how little (and how much, thankfully!) certain things cost. Your budget will be a lot easier to adhere to if it is realistic.

You also really need to have a "sit down" with your dad and figure out where his head is. To the extent you can include the other parents, that will be helpful too. Not only do you need to know in what ways he''d help, but also what he is expecting (which matters a lot if he is helping). For example, does he want to invite a lot of his friends but you were thinking a 50 person wedding? Things like that. Also, in setting a budget, you should try to feel out what that does and doesn''t include. My parents gave us our regular budget and then I had a special dress budget because that was important to both me and my mom. Also, my dad''s colleagues'' dinner costs are not part of our budget. Stuff like that.

As for guides... I would say http://www.theknot.com/ and http://www.weddingchannel.com/ have been really helpful in tracking down local vendors and stuff like that. I also am living and dying by Emily Post''s Wedding Etiquette for how to do everything. Martha Stewart''s Wedding Keepsake Binder has also been helpful because of all the pictures and stuff it already contains. Perhaps most helpful, however was just scouring every bridal magazine I could get my hands on.

One last note on vendors... When we booked our entertainment, they had a lot of suggestions about quality local photographers, transportation companies, etc. So if you have one vendor you trust, ask him or her about who else they work with--they do this a lot and are often your best resource.

 

[Tybee]

Date: 11/21/2004 9:49:23 PM
Author: MelissaSue
Tybee--

I too recommend ''bridal bargains''! Its very realistic... they tell it to you how it is. I bought the Knot Wedding Planning books too, but from Amazon, not from theknot.com, it was about $20 cheaper that way, plus free shipping. I haven''t found htem that useful as of yet, but I haven''t really started planning much. I haven''t found the boards on theknot.com, to be that helpful. People don''t respond much, and active threads don''t get bumped up to the top so they disappear, sometimes in half a day, without being responded too.

Do you have a date or general idea for a date yet?

Melissa

The only general idea for a date is 2006, because I''ll be done with grad. school then. We also have to plan around my work schedule (I''m a teacher) so maybe during February vacation or my Spring Break. Obviously, the best time of year for me would be summer...but wouldn''t that be wedding PRIME TIME? I think that February would be nice because it''s during that dull winter-phase...but no, we haven''t picked a date yet. We''re not even really sure of our budget. We will start a "wedding account" in January after the holidays. The problem is that neither of us are "rolling in it." and frankly, we know way too many people! I''m tempted to run away, but the friends and family would be so disappointed.
Also, I''ve heard that Atlanta is a pretty expensive city for weddings...hmmmm, it''s overwhelming.

 

[MelissaSue]

I just consulted "bridal bargains" and they tell me that june, july and april are the most popular wedding months in georgia, so yes.. summer would be wedding primetime.

But if you book early enough.. that shouldn''t be a problem. As far as I can tell most places don''t charge more in the summer.. as far as receptions go at least. But.. february would be nice in Atlanta I''m sure too.. Not so nice in Buffalo.. SIGH. I hope its not still snowing in May!

 

[Tybee]

Date: 11/23/2004 1

1:56 AM
Author: MelissaSue
I just consulted ''bridal bargains'' and they tell me that june, july and april are the most popular wedding months in georgia, so yes.. summer would be wedding primetime.

But if you book early enough.. that shouldn''t be a problem. As far as I can tell most places don''t charge more in the summer.. as far as receptions go at least. But.. february would be nice in Atlanta I''m sure too.. Not so nice in Buffalo.. SIGH. I hope its not still snowing in May!

LOL MelissaSue,
I was raised in Connecticut...not quite as cold and snowy as Buffalo, but I know what you are talking about!