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ok to bring 2 rings to proposal sight?

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J

JDCFA

Rough_Rock
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Oct 21, 2005
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Was hoping for some insight here. I''m about to make the proposal, and have 2 rings I am absolutely torn between. Both jewelers are reputable and have great return policies, so I''m not worried about that (at least for the purposes of this thread).

my question is: would it be weird or cheesey or unromantic or whatever, to bring both rings to the proposal sight and let her choose? both rings are great, but I just really want to make sure she gets the one she would like the best. I really cannot decide between the 2 and have been going back and forth and driving myself crazy.

It''s going to be somewhat of a suprise, so I definitely don''t want to take her to see them beforehand.

THANK YOU
 
personally ... I kinda like the idea! Presentation is key though. You don''t want to just whip out 2 boxes, fumbling with ''em and say "um, which do you like better"

Maybe a fave rest. of yours could bring out "a special dessert" and have the rings as "cherries" to two awesome desserts, or even cupcakes. You could remove the serving platter lid and propose?

Eh, just one idea ...
 
I think it''s a great idea! I also agree with Deco in that they should be part of a presentation.

Oh, and you can''t keep us hanging...describe both rings!
 
Decode it right...presentation is everything. Maybe you can tie the two together with a bow and present them to her? Can you post pictures of the rings....maybe we can help?
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many thanks for the advice, keep it coming!

For those interested, the rings are very similar, but w/ a subtle yet substantive difference.

Both are asschers (more on that later), VS2, and H. The first is 2.16c with 67/57 depth/table and excellent polish. The second is 2.01c, 69/59, and very good polish. Both have very good symmetry, no culet, no florescence, medium girdle.

So, to most (including my 3p appraiser) the first is a prettier stone to look at. It''s bigger, better polished, and has better depth/table proportions. When you look at the 2, the first one looks better.

However, the second is much closer to a "true" asscher cut b/c:
1) it is GIA classified as a "cut corner square step cut" versus a square emerald cut (99% of the "asschers" I looked at were square emerald)
2) it has a 5-step pavilion versus a 4 step.
3) has a deeper pavilion, which makes it look smaller, but again more like a true asscher.

the combination of 1 and 2 are very rare. In fact, Mike Asscher here said that only patented Royal Asschers are supposed to have a CCSSC w/ a 5-step pavilion.

I looked at both of the side-by-side under a 10x and liked the bigger one. The bigger one definitely still had the stop-sign look, but with just slightly narrower corners, and so just a tad less asscher-like. BUT, she might really appreciate having a somehwat rare diamond that truly is shaped like a real asscher. With the current trend out there, many jewelers are calling all of their square emerald cuts "asschers" when they don''t have all of those exact qualities.

So is she like most, and just wants one that looks pretty darn close to an asscher, and is bigger and brighter? Or does she want one that is slightly less eye-appealing, but with the pleasure in know that she, unlike most who claim to have an asscher, has something almost identical to a true asscher cut? i honestly don''t know, hence the delimma

sorry to ramble, but there it is.
 
I personally like the sound of the first one better, but I''m not an expert
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and I don''t know much about asshers. I''m sure she is going to love
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either ring because it came from you and I don''t think you can go wrong with either choice.
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I change my vote. If there are THAT similar - choosing won't be any fun (just as it's not for you!!!) I GREATLY urge you to spare her the mind-numbing details in that kind of romantic moment!

So far -- everyone likes the 1st one better. No brainer!!!!

I personally don't see ANY value in "more like a genuine Asscher" mostly 'cause I don't believe there IS a genuine "Asscher" anymore than there is a "genuine" Cushion cut. There are lots of variations, antique and modern that fit the general description. Just because Royal Asscher has "copyrighted" a 5 step cut doesn't make it more valuable per se. In fact, original antique Asschers are more like the Square Emeralds that are "Asscheresque" than the Royal Asscher pattern. Buying based on your interpretation of what is "genuinue" and definately isn't everyone's opinion kinda negates the ONLY reason you might choose that one over the other.

PICK #1 ... IMO :)


ETA:
There's also an undercurrent to the decision that jumps out at me. Picking #1 is picking what looks best to YOU/Appraiser ... selecting it for it's singular beauty without worrying about what others have. Picking #2 is only for the basis that she can "take pleasure" in knowing "unlike all the other girls who CLAIM to have Asschers" she will be one of the "rare few" that REALLY has one. (Besides being untrue in my opinion) That reasoning has a whole differenet vibe to it ... like in order to "take pleasure" you have to rationalize that others have "less authentic" or "fake" versions. Does that make sense. One is independent of others and one is comparative to others. Just an observation ...
 
If I were you I would propose with #1. I wouldn''t bother bringing #2. #1 sounds like a beautiful stone and that''s what really matters. It''s the beauty of the stone, not the numbers, ya know??
 
decodelighted, thank you for the great post. You make great points, and that helps a lot. I think I''ll take your advice.

very much appreciated!
 
I think it is strange, sorry just my honest opinion. I would be very confused and maybe spend more time obsessing over which one to pick than the actual event (which should be more important than the ring). So pick one and propose.
 
Definitely choose the one you like the best and use that one. From what you''ve said, I would personally go with #1.

If the 2 rings were very different, say they had different center stones (one was a round, the other ring was an Asscher) and you absolutely loved both of them and couldn''t pick, then I''d say propose with both and let her choose. But if they''re both Asschers, very similar in carat size and setting is the same.....please spare her the stress and hassle of choosing one. She just wants to be enaged to you, and marry you. And getting a beautiful ring (they both sound beautiful by the way!) is just an added bonus. As much as well all overanalyze rings and stones on here, we all think being with the right man is the #1 important thing and then the ring is a secondary part in that.

I think she''ll appreciate much more that YOU chose it, rather than being appreciative that you let her pick between the 2 when they are so similar. At least that''s how I''d feel. Not that I''d be mad if my BF asked me to choose between 2 extremely similar rings....but quite honestly I''d feel like a bit of the romance and whirlwind of the proposal would be eliminated when I had to deal with choosing.
 
I think both making her chose and having to explain the difference between the diamonds takes the romance out of the proposal. I say pick one and go with it. Besides, by presenting 2 rings you run the risk of her wanting to keep BOTH (I hope your wallet would be prepared for that)
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I personally don''t think that a proposal is the time for her to pick between two stones, especially if they''re that similar. When a girl envisions a proposal, it usually involves just one ring. If I were you, I would definitely pick the first diamond, and propose with that one. It might make the proposal more stressful if she has to decide b/w two similar diamonds. Save her the stress/anxiety and just pick the one you love most. Honestly, she''ll most likely love either one b/c it''s coming from you!
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you guys are great, thank you so much for the advice!

I''m sending the second ring back, and taking the plunge w/ ring #1

thanks again!
 
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