Ok, so he''s NOT romantic. But I love that he.............?

[blueroses]

Ok. So Decodelighted''s response to Starset (two of my favorite PS ladies, btw) re: what DID she like about her boy got me thinking. The LIW thread is a place to express our angst and excitement about future engagements, but is also a sounding board for venting/bitching about our boys.....and sometimes that part gets misconstrued and is the only thing that is seen.

So as a follow-up to Starset''s thread, my Pollyana peacemaker side is doing an equal-time thread. I''ll start.

So my boyfriend is a clueless commitmentphobe who maintains that he wants to marry me, while apparently believing that "SOON" is sometime in the next ten years. So I''ve felt unappreciated sometimes and he leaves wads of chewed-up gum on the kitchen counter and bathroom soap dish no matter HOW many times I beg him not to. BUT....

He always pours a glass of wine for my mom.
He does funny dog and baby voices when he hangs with my nephews and doggies.
When we go grocery shopping and I throw a tacky In Touch or US on the stack at the last minute, he doesn''t give me s$it and buys them. (And reads them later himself.)
We know the same obscure movie references and he can make me laugh at something even when I want to throttle him.
He listens to show tunes in his car and then sings them to my dogs. (from Wicked sure, but MAME?? And he''s not gay!!??)

 

[SoonIHope]

Blueroses - not sure if you ever saw this thread from a while ago, but it had a similar let''s be mushy and feel good about our relationships vibe, so I thought you might be interested! It''s on what is the Sweetest Thing your SO ever did for you. Quite heartwarming!

 

[blueroses]

Albi, that''s exactly what I meant I missed that one when I was out of town. Things that are or aren''t conventionally romantic but are sweet and thoughtful nonetheless!

 

[AmberWaves]

Ha ha ha, great thread Blueroses (I always want to write blue NOSES, after some other PS poster called you that!). Well, I love that my boyfriend will buy me ice cream when I don''t expect it.
And doesn''t laugh when I get the gossip mags (and reads them)
Tells me I should get a breast REDUCTION not implants!
Makes food that he doesn''t like, because he knows I like it.
Lets me watch all my favorite TV shows, even if he hates them, even watches them with me.
Doesn''t mind when I watch the oddest guilty pleasure ever (Arthur- the cartoon about the aardvark?)
Bought me a deep fryer for one of my x-mas gifts, because I loved it on TV
Lets me wear his socks

 

[decodelighted]

LOVE IT!!! You always know what the real heart of the matter is! I''ll play ...

In the last two weeks ..

1) His work was giving away un-sold calendars from the bookstore & he found the exact perfect one for me (retro girls with funny sassy sayings... "She liked her men like her wine, robust with a long finish")

2) He tried to drive my mortgage payment over to the bank on Saturday so it wouldn''t be late, but found the bank closed, so he brought me a candybar instead. (it wasn''t late thanks to MLK day, thanks MLK!)

3) He lets me wear his sweatshirts even when they''re fresh out of the wash & he wants to wear them

4) He sat through four hours of live Dog Show because a Papillion was up for best in show and I was rooting for it (being a proud Pap mommy)

5) When The Bachelor didn''t record on his DVR & he''d PROMISED me he set it & talked me into watching the Golden Globes instead -- he tracked down the bit torrent of it and loaded it on my desktop so I wouldn''t miss the episode.

6) Our fan isn''t working in the kitchen & when we made Steak Au Pouvre the room filled with black noxious pepper smoke. I literally went running out of the house to breathe. Somehow he stayed in there and cooked the steaks til they were done.

Eh, that''s enough for now. The exercise really does help me appreciate him more! Which was exactly the point!

 

[blueroses]

Date: 1/19/2006 1:40:54 PM
Author: decodelighted

4) He sat through four hours of live Dog Show because a Papillion was up for best in show and I was rooting for it (being a proud Pap mommy

Me too!!! I''m a poodle mommy, but when we first started dating he would laugh at me for watching the dog shows and now he calls ME to remind me they''re on. HILARIOUS!! Now, he hasn''t been to a LIVE one yet......I guess that''s the next step. But when he drove up to LA to pick up Tessa (our precious rescue baby) and me when we returned from Orlando, she thew up on his leather interior.....TWICE. And compared to how he might have been a few years ago, he was totally cool. He wasn''t HAPPY about it, but we just pulled off to a grocery store, I ran in to buy paper towels and cleaning wipes, and when I came out, he''d already cleaned up the worst of it. Definite evolution in his squeamish-factor over the years.

So I guess "Cleans up dog accidents without being asked or grumbling" is one to add! Repeat slackass gifts, but hell, he''s good with the poop and the barf

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/19/2006 1:48:35 PM
Author: blueroses
Definite evolution in his squeamish-factor over the years.... hell, he's good with the poop and the barf

This bodes well for future BABIES.

p.s. - the dog show was a "live broadcast" (read: SLOW), not an actual live event he agreed to go to ... I'll have to work him up to that, and possibly attend one of his beloved (gasp, giggle, embarrased sigh) heavy metal rock concerts as trade.

 

[blueroses]

Ahhhhhhh!!! Now I get it. Yep, we''ve sat through those and they are VERY slow!!

(Our retired champion poodle (she''s 13 1/2 and we adopted her when she came off the circuit. Yes, she had one of those AWFUL poofy poodle ''dos) is right next to me panting obscenely. Her ears were burning and she knows we''re talking about her former beauty paegent style of glory!)

 

[AmberWaves]

See, something nice I did for him... taped the AKC International section on the Herding dogs, he loves them Corgies.

 

[Caribou]

I want to brag too!

Although the ''changing of the guards'' has occurred in our relationship and he doesn''t try as hard because he knows he''s stuck with me.

, he''s still great....so let me think.........


1. Most importantly, he loves my cats (even though he pretends not to).

2. He surprised me with a picture of trees for Christmas because he knows I love them. And went on to tell me his thought of how we can display the one he bought and the ones I''ve taken in ''our house''.

3. He still brings me flowers.

4. He makes me laugh all the time.

5. He surprised me at my place one night when I thought he was going home.

6. He took me and my loud girlfriend to see Duran Duran, although I''m told this is the last time for any 80''s concerts.
There are more but I can''t think right now......

 

[AmberWaves]

Our Woofie (We call him the Frito Bandito) trying to figure out what the flash was... after he tore through the house knocking everything down...

 

[AmberWaves]

Date: 1/19/2006 2:46:26 PM
Author: AmberWaves
Our Woofie (We call him the Frito Bandito) trying to figure out what the flash was... after he tore through the house knocking everything down...

This is the biggest way he''s sweet, let me get this dog two months into moving in, and woke up with him nightly for months!

 

[anchor31]

1. I have a minor physical disability and he never talks about it. He couldn''t care less. He loves me for who I am.

2. When I left 300 miles away for my university studies a year ago, he told me to not come back with my diploma in hand because of him under no circumstance, and although he misses me while I''m away, he''s always encouraging and supportive.

3. He thinks my 34AA size chest is perfect and thinks I''m sexy.

4. He loves my family and my cats.

5. When he gives me a present, it''s often something I really wanted, but hadn''t directly asked him for it. Like that time when I complained that my mother didn''t want to give me her heirloom cookbook when I moved out, so J bought me a rewritten version of an old cookbook for Christmas.

6. He is frank and honest and never lied to me.

7. Ditto blueroses: He''s good with poo and barf. Stomach contents is something I can''t handle and he cleans it up without a word.

8. When I''m feeling low, he always has something to said that makes me happy.

9. Everytime we see each other, he gives me a massage.

10. He lets me watch movies in English even though he doesn''t always understands and lets me watch my Star Trek episodes. He even willing offers to watch one of my brother''s Stargate episodes in English with me every once in a while.

I guess I could go on and on and on, but I have that stats assignment to finish!

 

[appletini]

Perfect timing, mine is from last night. I had a sorority alum club event at our favorite wine bar, which happens to be very close to his place. FI asked during they day if I would stop by afterwards to give him a kiss, and of course I was all about it and told him I should be done around 9. Well our gathering was still going on awhile after the wine tasting with just girl talk, and I could hear my phone ringing in my purse and it was his personalized ring (top gun anthem). Then I looked through the glass door to outside and there he was standing outside the door on the phone. He was on his way home from a late/long work happy hour and stopped by to say hello since he saw that I was still there. He hung out with me and my friends for about an hour, and then everyone else left and we stayed another hour just talking about us and our future.

 

[Erin]

Okay so he''s NOT romantic but I love that he

Holds me close and tight every night whether we''ve had a great date or a big fight
Unconsciously grabs me and pulls me back to bed when I get up in the morning - when I tell him he has no clue
Ends every call with ''I love you, bye'' and starts and ends every single day with a kiss
Holds the dog and makes it perform dance routines with impromptu songs - all to make me laugh
Makes dinner when he comes home first
Would rather hang out with me than the guys
Helps my Dad with fix-it projects
Goes to my brother''s plays - even though he''d rather stay home
Kisses my Mom and my Grandma when saying Hi
Behaves responsibly and honestly - even though he could us some growth in the R-Department

 

[firebirdgold]

Ok, I have to play too.

He loves me
He thinks I''m sexy and beautiful (I think he needs glasses)
He loves my dog despite how annoying my dog can be (and not really liking dogs to begin with).
He never takes his bad moods, fustration, or stress out on me, and considering that he''s overworked and is finishing his phd with a nasty deadline that''s saying something. (Mind you, this only works if I don''t poke him when he starts twitching from stress, and he''s been fed within 8 hours).

He hugs me when I''m stressed out.
He encourages me.
And he laughs at me when I lose my temper or have hysterics. (Yes this is a plus.)

Oh, and sometimes we think the same thing at the same time. I love that.

 

[allycat0303]

a) He took care of me last year when I was NOT in Med School and crying all the time. 365 days of hearing me be depressed is really difficult.

b) He doesn't like cats, but he has 2 because I love them. Even better, he cleans their litter and feeds them..he just lets me enjoy the cats company without any dirty work.

c) Calls me at least 2-3 times a day from work

d) He got my name tattoed on his arm (BIG TOO

) and the chinese symbol for cat (my nickname) on his chest...OK. It's MAJORLY BIKER CHICK which I'm totally NOT and neither is he, but it's craziest thing he's ever done. And even though it's totally not my style, I still find it sweet.

 

[Mara]

My darling hubby is SOOO not romantic in the conventional ways...so I can definitely relate...but I knew that going into it and he does make up for it in other ways that are ''unassumed'' and therefore very heartwarming.

I love that he...
--cuts out articles from the WSJ or NYT that I will like or has things relevant to me (aka diamonds or fashion or book reviews) and leaves them on my laptop
--surprises me with roadside flowers on the way home from work a time or two per year
--can put aside his priorities or wants from time to time and agrees to give me leeway to purchase something that is really important to me but may not benefit him at all (aka my upgrade!)
--always checks my car tires for air and any nails to ensure that i don''t end up with a flat on the side of the road
--always answers his cell phone if it is me calling just in case it''s an emergency and i AM stranded on the side of the road! (this happened once and he was in a meeting so he didn''t answer and he didn''t call me back til an hour later so he made a vow to always answer if it''s me)
--offers to make dinner about once a month
--cleans up the kitchen after EVERY meal we make at home (a rare trait!!)
--buys me sappy cards for birthday or christmas that says all the things he doesn''t in person
--never ends a conversation, whether it''s on the phone or via IM, without saying ''I love you''

Okay that''s enough I guess!! So even though I don''t get the ''lets go away for a surprise weekend'' and am not holding my breath that would ever happen (I''m the planner!), it''s the little things that count as well!!

 

[Apollo]

1) I have really long curly hair and when I''m too tired, he washes my hair for me
2) I suffer from migraine headaches and he is always there with a glass of water and my meds, draws a bubble bath for me or even gets out of bed late at night to take me to the doctor when he sees i''m in pain
3) He bought the DaVince Code book last week because I casually mentioned that I wanted to read it
4) He makes me dinner every weekday (we eat out on weekends)
5) He LOVES my hot pink flannel PJs because he says he can see me wearing something like that to bed in 50 years
6) He tells me that I''m the prettiest in the morning when my long hair is in knots, my breath smells and I can''t even keep my eyes open because I forgot to take my contacts out the night before

 

[AmberWaves]

style="WIDTH: 93.36%; HEIGHT: 67px">d) He got my name tattoed on his arm (BIG TOO

) and the chinese symbol for cat (my nickname) on his chest...OK. It''s MAJORLY BIKER CHICK which I''m totally NOT and neither is he, but it''s craziest thing he''s ever done. And even though it''s totally not my style, I still find it sweet.

Lucky! My boyfriend has Felix the Cat on his arm.

 

[AmberWaves]

I''m seeing things here that my boyfriend does, and I thought, I take that for granted! Here are some other things:

He does all the laundry in the house (It''s downstairs from our building, and it''s super hard to get down there)

He does all the vaccuming (I''m asthmatic)

He does all the dishes (I''m allergic to water, if my hands are soaking in it)

He scrubs the toilet!

I realize you all probably think he got a "dud" of a girlfriend because I''m useless, but I make dinner every night, buy him all his PS2 games, and go to every game he coaches, so I''m trying to earn my keep..

 

[E B]

Aww. This thread is sweet.

My fiance cooks dinner all the time. He loves to do it, and his meals are always delicious.

He takes our pug out every morning and on walks every night. When she was a puppy, he'd get up with me in the middle of the night and help me try to get her to go to the bathroom. He's a good dad already!

He gives me footrubs whenever I stick my feet in his lap and back massages whenever I ask.

When I was going through a depressed period, my mom told me to take B complex to even out my mood. Sometimes I'd forget, but I'd find it on my desk with a glass of juice. His doing, of course.

He and I laugh at the same things. We make each other laugh. I can be myself around him, completely.

 

[sunkist]

I love this thread!! I want to play too!

I love that he

-loves me and tells me so
-thinks I''m beautiful, even though he doesn''t always say it
-likes my hair with NO gel in it (that means when I have a fro!)
-shares all his hobbies with me
-thinks my small chest is the *perfect* size
-takes care of his baby turtles the way he will his future children
-puts up with me buying more plants even though I kill them all
-wants to spend all his free time with me
-answered his phone when I called during work and then came to rescue me cause I had fainted at the grocery store!! (I was sick

) Man, he was such my hero that day!!
-can''t wait to marry me!!

 

[E B]

Date: 1/19/2006 5:40:53 PM
Author: sunkist
I love this thread!! I want to play too!

-thinks my small chest is the *perfect* size

Amen!

 

[sunkist]

Oh! Maybe this isn''t romantic, but I love that we can talk about gross, embarrassing stuff together!!

 

[fatafelice]

I love this thread!

In college, my friends and I even had a name for these awesome, thoughtful things...We called it "ketchup." Let me explain:

My friends were over at my BF''s apartment for an impromptu cookout. We were having hotdogs, but when we were all served and adding condiments, we found that there was no more ketchup. I love ketchup to begin with and I don''t like eating hotdogs without it, but we had all been drinking and were unable to drive, so I didn''t say anything and sat down to eat anyway. I was talking to my friends outside when one of them asked where my BF had gone. I had no idea, but a few minutes later he was back...with a bottle of ketchup. He had gone door to door in his apartment complex until he found someone with a bottle to lend us! It was so thoughtful of him and it set a standard by which my friends'' relationships were judged. My best friend began to realize that her loser boyfriend had never provided "ketchup" because he was such a selfish pig... it helped her conclude that he was not "the one" for her.

Some other things I love:

--He gets back into bed every morning to "snuggle down" with our dogs before he goes to work because he feels bad leaving them alone all day.
--He sings "Rainbow Connection" to me in a Kermit voice
--He likes to listen to me sing (note: I do not sing well!)
--Last weekend he offered to go get tampons for me when I found myself "unprepared"
--He takes every available opportunity to spend time with his nephews
--He bought me a remote starter for my car for Christmas because he knows I hate living in the cold, cold North
--Ditto the poop and vomit. Memorable example: We came back to my dad''s house after my grandfather''s funeral to find that his two labs had gotten hideously ill all inside their crates and all over the kitchen. Let''s just say, I have been around many dogs all my life and I have never seen/smelled anything so awful. BF immediately and without a word began to clean up so that my grieving father would not have to do it. My dad had always been "cool" towards my BF, but after that they became great friends.
--Went with me to a dog show just two weekends ago!
--When we go to dinner with my girlfriends, he has been known to sneak his check card to the waitress and pay for their meals before they even have a chance to argue.

 

[princessv]

Awww I love reading the responses to this thread!

I love that he:
1) can always make me laugh even when I''m upset at him
2) always says "I love you" at the end of phone calls or sometimes just because!
3) loves my dog (even though he has told me before he HATES little dogs) and he''s invented fun games that they play together!
4) when we lived together briefly during the summer pre-hurricane would kiss me good bye before he went to work
5) knows what I''d like to eat at pretty much every restaurant

(I don''t vary my food choices much)

even though I could go on and on...this is my favorite one....

6) He knows when to apologize and really mean it but, will put me in my place when I''m being bratty or stubborn or just plain wrong.

 

[fatafelice]

This thread reminds me of an episode of "Malcolm in the Middle." In it, the husand and wife get into a terrible, deal-breaker kind of fight. They are outside in the rain and one of them reminds the other of what they used to do (as newlyweds) to get past the anger/hurt. They had to say 10 things that they loved about the other person. It reminded them that no matter what, they truly loved each other and could work it out. I totally loved the moment and I have suggested it to my BF, but we have never really had to put it to the test because we can usually talk it out to begin with. Still, a good idea, I think!

 

[blueroses]

I''m so happy this thread has taken off!! (And FataFelice, what a great "excercise" for a couple to do!)

Reading everyone''s great stuff made me think of lots more--thanks guys!:

*always tells me I smell good even when it''s just lever 2000 or shampoo
* LOVES my cooking and after 9 years still acts really impressed that I''m "such a good cook"
*in turn, b/c he can''t cook, he always springs for take-out when it''s his turn.
*always does the dishes. Always. Loves them in fact, the freakshow!
*Also makes up stupid songs, which he picked up from the rest of my family.
*Has printed out every e-ring pic I ever e-mailed him (even if they have sat in a folder gathering dust, he still has a whole file)
*Made himself a cheat sheet to remember different stone shapes (e.g. asscher = lake. radiant = crazy)
*indulges my sleepy bratty moods when I''ll demand a foot rub
*Walks the dogs w/o being asked & gets my dog groomed as a surprise (the groomers think Mattie''s HIS)
**Watches football with my dad and the wiggles with my nephews.
*Has inside jokes with my 3 year old nephew. Believe me, they''re not really funny but the two of them roll.
*Always runs out to buy a tape if he doesn''t have one to tape shows for me when I call in a panic, having forgotten.
*Kisses his hand and points to the sky every time he talks about his late grandparents and aunt

*Calls me during commericials when we''re separately watching the same thing to compare notes and snark
*Flew 3,000 mi. to see my first film premiere in a festival when he didn''t have to



Ok. This is actually a really helpful thing for me for those times when it''s so easy to forget--to WANT to forget, amidst the waiting hell--any of the good stuff!

 

[Erin]

Date: 1/19/2006 7:06:09 PM
Author: blueroses

Ok. This is actually a really helpful thing for me for those times when it''s so easy to forget--to WANT to forget, amidst the waiting hell--any of the good stuff!

Yes thanks for the thread - got me off my rant and I''m totally in a better mood.