Wedding ok not to give wedding favors????

[wishful]

FI and I are getting married in march - in Belize - mainly because we don''t want to go in debt over a big wedding (we''d rather have a honeymoon!) and we don''t want a big to-do.

anyway my parents are insisting that several months later after the wedding (due to timing issues on everyones part) that we fly back east to have a family "reception/celebration" . I feel like in my mind that this is just a fun get together so the family can be a part of our marriage. However the reception has gotten a bit more formalized and traditional. (it''s being held at a country club with a buffet sit down dinner, cake, etc)

so i''m having second thoughts on whether or not the guests will expect favors....

any opinons????

 

[Cleopatra]

I don''t think a guest ever *expects* favors - at least I never do. If you can''t afford favors, don''t have them! Simple!

We *sorta* had favors - we had a HUGE cake and I knew we would have extra cake - so I bought personalized cake boxes (to go boxes - I think I bought 200 of them for $90) and people took home a big slice of cake as their favor - I think they enjoyed this more than a candle or chocolate almonds...

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Even if it was a regular reception held after a ceremony, I believe favors are still optional. Afterall you are paying for their dinner, drinks, a dance, or what have you...if a favor is included it is at your discretion.
Also if you did want to have them, I''m sure you could come up with something that won''t put too big a hole in your pocket

 

[Shoopy]

People always expect favors. They always say that they''ll never use them and its a waste of money but if you don''t have them then they get upset.

Why not go to a Belize souvenier shop and get little magnets from there as a gift? (It''ll most likely be less expensive)

 

[Cleopatra]

Date: 10/7/2008 1:02:46 PM
Author: fieryred33143
People always expect favors. They always say that they''ll never use them and its a waste of money but if you don''t have them then they get upset.

Why not go to a Belize souvenier shop and get little magnets from there as a gift? (It''ll most likely be less expensive)

I respectfully disagree

I have been to several weddings in the last few months and only 1 of the 4 weddings had favors. I never expected a favor when attending any wedding.

Personally, I would prefer nothing over a little trinket that will either clutter the house or get tossed in a few days.

Dinner, drinks, and dancing is plenty to satisfy your guests - IMHO

 

[wishful]

Date: 10/7/2008 1:02:46 PM
Author: fieryred33143
People always expect favors. They always say that they''ll never use them and its a waste of money but if you don''t have them then they get upset.

Why not go to a Belize souvenier shop and get little magnets from there as a gift? (It''ll most likely be less expensive)

oooh...now that''s a good idea! I may have to run that by my parents and see what they think!

 

[MaggieB]

Date: 10/7/2008 1:06:03 PM
Author: Cleopatra

Date: 10/7/2008 1:02:46 PM
Author: fieryred33143
People always expect favors. They always say that they''ll never use them and its a waste of money but if you don''t have them then they get upset.

Why not go to a Belize souvenier shop and get little magnets from there as a gift? (It''ll most likely be less expensive)

I respectfully disagree

I have been to several weddings in the last few months and only 1 of the 4 weddings had favors. I never expected a favor when attending any wedding.

Personally, I would prefer nothing over a little trinket that will either clutter the house or get tossed in a few days.

Dinner, drinks, and dancing is plenty to satisfy your guests - IMHO

I respectfully disagree too.

I''ve attended two extremely high-end weddings in the last year or so - one in Boca Grande and the other at Sea Island, Georgia. These were the kind of weddings with party after party that EVERYONE was invited to, an arrival party, a prehearsal party, etc. If there were any favors there, I didn''t see them. Nor did I think about them.

 

[wishful]

Date: 10/7/2008 1:06:03 PM
Author: Cleopatra


I have been to several weddings in the last few months and only 1 of the 4 weddings had favors. I never expected a favor when attending any wedding.

Personally, I would prefer nothing over a little trinket that will either clutter the house or get tossed in a few days.

Dinner, drinks, and dancing is plenty to satisfy your guests - IMHO

I agree on that! I did attend a wedding where there were favors...one was a wine bottle stopper (loved it - still use it) but the other was a metal key "to my heart" and it came in a gauze bag with a bunch of shiny tinsel and sparkly sequin crap. It was bascially clutter. And the tinsel stuff got all over everywhere... had to keep the cats from ingesting it. haha..

anyway if I do decide to do favors I do want it to either be something useful, edible, or meaningful.

Any other ideas or opinions are most certainly welcome! Thanks so far for the input!!!!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I have been to a lot, lot, lot of weddings. I would say only 1/4 of them, at the most, had favors.

 

[neatfreak]

If people are seriously bent out of shape about no favors then they have other issues...

It's totally fine not to have them IMO. We didn't have them and no one missed them. In fact two of my friends when discussing favors for their own weddings didn't even recall that we didn't have them.

 

[Shoopy]

I don''t know...in my experience people always say that they would prefer nothing but then comment when there is nothing to take home (comments such as "all that money spent on the wedding and they couldn''t throw $200 at favors). Even if maybe we are a collective few that wouldn''t feel that way, the majority do.

I went to a wedding where the favors was a charitable contribution made in honor of a deceased mother (beautiful idea and I''m stealing it

). People were still upset they didn''t get almonds or chocolate with it. That''s how some people are.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/7/2008 1:34:35 PM
Author: fieryred33143
I don''t know...in my experience people always say that they would prefer nothing but then comment when there is nothing to take home (comments such as ''all that money spent on the wedding and they couldn''t throw $200 at favors). Even if maybe we are a collective few that wouldn''t feel that way, the majority do.


I went to a wedding where the favors was a charitable contribution made in honor of a deceased mother (beautiful idea and I''m stealing it

). People were still upset they didn''t get almonds or chocolate with it. That''s how some people are.

I stand by my comment. Those people are judgmental and have issues if those are the comments they make at a beautiful wedding!

 

[Allison D.]

I have to agree with most - favors are not only optional, but in most cases they aren''t even desired.

I cannot tell you how many weddings I''ve been to where half the favors get left behind!

The purpose of attending someone''s wedding is to share in their joy as they unite in marriage. If the best someone can come up with to crab about is "I didn''t get any chocolate at the wedding", I''d say it was a damn good wedding! LOL.

I just cannot imagine anyone being petty enough to care about, much less complain about, lack of favors.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I once went to a wedding too where (and I''m sure the bride thought they were lovely) they gave picture frames with a photo of themselves and they just looked sooo ugly (the frames, not the couple lol) that nobody took them. The table they were on probably had about 90 frames on it when everyone had left and I know they invited 150 people (I was a hostess(?) for the wedding) I felt bad for the couple but to be honest...I didn''t take one either (I''d also like it to be known that I had no part in picking out the favors..I mainly took care of gifts and handed out bubbles to blow after the ceremony). I had no place to put it and I prefer to keep photos of my family and friends in large collective frames and just thought a photo frame of some couple I was only acquaintances with would look out of place.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 10/7/2008 1:43:09 PM
Author: Allison D.
I have to agree with most - favors are not only optional, but in most cases they aren't even desired.

I cannot tell you how many weddings I've been to where half the favors get left behind!

The purpose of attending someone's wedding is to share in their joy as they unite in marriage. If the best someone can come up with to crab about is 'I didn't get any chocolate at the wedding', I'd say it was a damn good wedding! LOL.

I just cannot imagine anyone being petty enough to care about, much less complain about, lack of favors.

Ditto this, word for word.

It's a bummer that people feel forced to give favors, because then inevitably the favor feels forced and not meaningful. We nixed them simply because we don't like them, though for those who feel they need to give favors, I always recommend something edible. Something edible AND something meaningful to you.

Seriously, though, who are these people who expect favors?

 

[MaggieB]

Sorry to threadjack, but this is really bothering me some reason. I think because so many brides feel under so much pressure and forced into debt because they are supposed to thow some life-altering extravaganza for their guests. I LOVE all of the cute little options there are for brides these days to personalize their special days and add some fun elements, but once it becomes something that you HAVE to do so that people don''t badmouth you - what is fun or special about that?

Please let''s all remember that our wedding is the joining of ourselves with our fiance, no more, no less. If you have important people in your life that are willing to share that day with you, you should definitely do whatever you can within your means to show them your appreciation. That could be as simple as a hot dog at an outdoor barbecue, face time with your guest to sincerely thank them for being there, and a lovely note afterward.

 

[CaliCushion]

It''s your wedding. You don''t have to do anything. Your guests should be gracious and happy that they were invited. With that said, I appreciate little favors like chocolates. I have no need for wedding cake shaped candles, stuff with the couples names on it etc.

 

[AllieLuv83]

I am making yummy favors teeny tiny chocolate chip cookies in little cello bags which I will put in a 3x3 white box at each seat tied with ribbon and a tag. I tried out making them, and you can make ahead of time and since I love cookies and treats (its something I am known for) I thought it would be a yummy surprise. PS. Chocolate chip cookies are my FAVORITE!

 

[swingirl]

Favors are not expected and seem like an unnecessary expense. People are coming to wish you well and celebrate your wedding, not to go home with a present. While favors are nice for some they are by no means required.

 

[AllieLuv83]

Oh I am sorry I didnt realize it was a destination wedding. I am sure people will buy suveniers when they are there, someone did like little magnets that reminded people of the trip, cheap and cute.

 

[Shoopy]

I think it may be cultural too.

I come from a family of old Hispanic women that expect those ribbons on their shirt with the date of the wedding, a bag of jordon almonds on their plate with a little ceramic doll, and if you have the wedding in any place outside of a banquet hall then you''re too "trendy"

 

[Haven]

I''d skip the favors. We were going to skip the favors until my mother fell in love with those Moleskine Cahier notebooks and decided they would look fabulous in black, and then calligraphied each guest''s name on a cahier.

And guess what--four people STILL left them behind. And those are useful favors that people often buy for themselves (small notebooks)--I can''t imagine how many baggies of almonds or little magnets you''d have if you gave those away.

Personally, I dislike favors unless they are something truly useful. I don''t keep trinkets or knicknacks in my home. I have no need for mini picture frames with little dresses in the corner, and I don''t eat almonds. I almost always take the favors to school with me and give them to my students after weddings because I don''t want them.

The best favor I''ve ever gotten was a bottle of wine called "Mari Me". Our dear friends own a wine store, so it was perfectly fitting. They weren''t even going to do it until they found the wine of that name.

 

[lliang_chi]

I honestly have NEVER taken a favor from any of the weddings I''ve gone to. I never think about whether a couple has them or not, because really it''s not a big deal. What I might do is add favors to my OOT bags, maybe homemade cookies or something.

If it were up to me, I''d nix favors for my wedding, but my mom really wants to have them. We''re doing little 1 oz bottles of honey. It''d be really cheap for us. My folks own a farm and a apiarist (bee keeper) uses their property to keeping his bees. Instead of paying them rent, he just pays them in honey. We''d still need to go through the PiTA of measuring out bottles, labeling them and adding decorations. Like I said, I''m leaning towards not having them, but my mom likes the idea... Still on the fence....

 

[oobiecoo]

I would either skip favors or do something like food or donation to a charity. No picture frames, wine glasses, or anything like that.

I put together little favor boxes with inexpensive chocolates inside. Alot of people weren''t taking them but I told them they contained chocolate and then everyone wanted one!

 

[Sabine]

From my experience, favors are being dropped even from formal/traditional weddings since they are often a needless cost. But if you want to do something, it might be cute to include something that has a picture from your ceremony.

 

[D2B]

OK, to be honest, I dont see the point of favours, a lot of weddings, half get left behind. Good quality food favours are a great idea, but after a meal, drink, I am full and regret the caloiries

and dont want any more food. (and yes, we did favours at our wedding, my SMIL made some food ones for us)

I suppose if you think back to all the weddings you have been to, how many favours do you still have in a meaningful place, not in the back of the cuboard. Again, said with the greatest respect, but I do feel it is just another thing that the bride and groom have to tick off on their to do list, and with all the costs etc, I just wish people didnt feel the need to give favours.

d2b

 

[wishful]

Date: 10/7/2008 2:29:57 PM
Author: AllieLuv83
Oh I am sorry I didnt realize it was a destination wedding. I am sure people will buy suveniers when they are there, someone did like little magnets that reminded people of the trip, cheap and cute.

Yes it''s a destination wedding...sort of. it will be just my guy and me. that''s it. no guests.
basically we''re eloping! or as I like to put it...getting married on our honeymoon.

all of this was done to keep things low key...however my mom REEEEEEEEEALY wants to throw a "party" for me. I live in San Diego...my family lives in New England. So we will be getting married in March and then due to the lovely NE weather we will wait until July (when some family members would normally come up for the 4th anyway so more folks can attend) and fly out there for that.
And as it continues to get planned, it''s turning more and more traditional and reception-y as the days go by!

I like the idea of chocolates. that''s something to look into...

 

[wishful]

Date: 10/7/2008 2:47:04 PM
Author: Haven
I''d skip the favors. We were going to skip the favors until my mother fell in love with those Moleskine Cahier notebooks and decided they would look fabulous in black, and then calligraphied each guest''s name on a cahier.

And guess what--four people STILL left them behind. And those are useful favors that people often buy for themselves (small notebooks)--I can''t imagine how many baggies of almonds or little magnets you''d have if you gave those away.

Personally, I dislike favors unless they are something truly useful. I don''t keep trinkets or knicknacks in my home. I have no need for mini picture frames with little dresses in the corner, and I don''t eat almonds. I almost always take the favors to school with me and give them to my students after weddings because I don''t want them.

The best favor I''ve ever gotten was a bottle of wine called ''Mari Me''. Our dear friends own a wine store, so it was perfectly fitting. They weren''t even going to do it until they found the wine of that name.

I love the idea of wine but we will be flying in the day before from San Diego to Rhode Island so that''s not gonna work. I''d leave it up to my mom but she doesn''t even know what Cabernet is. hahaa...

 

[oobiecoo]

I looked into gourmet chocolate truffles at a specialty store around here and they were $1.80-$2.50 or so per piece. The price wasn''t too bad but we decided to go with something much less expensive that can be purchased at most grocery stores. They are one of my favorite candies and I knew several of the guests liked them also. Even though they weren''t gourmet, they were still really tasty!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 10/7/2008 1:26:21 PM
Author: neatfreak
If people are seriously bent out of shape about no favors then they have other issues...

It''s totally fine not to have them IMO. We didn''t have them and no one missed them. In fact two of my friends when discussing favors for their own weddings didn''t even recall that we didn''t have them.

I''m a little late joining this, but I totally agree with what Neatfreak said. We thought about doing them, and if we had, we would have done something edible. I''m really glad that we decided against them and I didn''t hear one person mention the lack of favors at our wedding.