Oh no! Major problem encountered, advice needed!

[JCulpepper]

So, I have been looking at diamonds for about 6 months, and I have been scraping and saving to buy my gf an engagement ring. I already know her preferences, so building her a ring was just a matter of putting the pieces together. We are going to Florida on Monday and I am taking her to Disney for the first time. I had planned out a whole romantic Disney proposal idea while we were celebrating Christmas Eve at the Magic Kingdom.

Anyways, during a conversation tonight, engagements and "sparkly things" were mentioned. Out of the blue, she says, "I hope you don''t plan on giving me any sparkly things within the next week." AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Her reasoning was that she wouldn''t want to spend any extra money at restaurants and bars knowing that I bought her something that expensive. But, I have been planning this for months, and now was the perfect time to do it!!! I have sacrificed so much over the past year trying to save up for a ring, and now my entire proposal idea is ruined!!!

She still wants to get married, thankfully, that is not an issue.

She said she wanted to be surprised when the time came; but she didn''t want me to ask her if I felt pressured.

What do I do? Should I continue with my plan, and give her what she originally asked for (a romantic surprise proposal) ...Or wait until after we get back from Florida?

Time is running out, and this really could make or break our vacation. Any neutral advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[strmrdr]

do it in florida
last day or next to the last day before you return.

 

[razza21]

Oh you are so sweet! There are some of us girls who are killing ourselves waiting for the little sparkly sparkly to be put on our finger - so I say do it!!

BUT...... Perhaps you need to say to her exactly why you wanted to give her the ring on this occasion and that she is worth more to you than any money could ever. My guess is that once that sparkly sparkly is on her finger she will forget anything she ever said!! Us girls can surely be fickle at times. My b''f is in the process of planning a romantic proposal and he''s asking me if I mind he spend a lot of money on it.... even though I secretly was so excited and touched that he would spend a ridiculous amount on the proposal (especially after spending a ridiculous amount on the ring itself) I said to him "Honey don''t spend too much on me I will feel soooo guilty!! I think your g''f is just so nice that perhaps she feels that you are spending too much on her. I seriously think that she just wants you to know that she doesn''t expect something huge.... but will LOVE it when the moment arrives!!

Maybe you should wait till a really unexpected moment to do it then she may begin to think that you aren''t going to do it!

If you feel in your heart it is the right time then go for it!!

 

[lindsal]

Do it as soon as you are ready to leave florida or as soon as you get back home.. .. tell what you really wanted to do.. that you had been waiting all weekend to give it to her while you were eating each more expnesive meal and with each beer and with each smile she gave you. A) She''ll be floored with surprise (b/c even though she said she didn''t want it this weekend, it may not be 100% true as girls waiting for diamonds are sometimes known to have a bit of a skewed outlook [I know from prior experience], B) she''ll know you were thinking about her all weekend and C) i wish you lots and lots of happines.

 

[sxn675]

I''d say to stick with your original plan. Good luck!

 

[chantal990]

Go for it. But do it on the last day so she can still feel happy about the holiday.

 

[JimDiamond]

Yeah, that does suck. I''m not entirely sure what she means. The money for the ring is already spent. I guess she means that she would feel guilty with even more money spent during your vacation. I know it feels funny, but you just have to go through with your plan. A year from now, five years from now, ten years from now (heck a month from now) she won''t remember that she felt uncomfortable about a little extra spending, but she WILL remember the proposal in the MAGIC kingdom forever. She''ll understand when you talk about it after. You just have to take this opportunity! Don''t wait until you get back.

 

[honeynut]

She is saying that NOW, but no woman in her right mind would say "No honey, I don''t want to marry you, you spent too much money this week. Maybe some other time."

I would be saying differently if it was "I hope you''re not going to ask me to marry you this week, _______ just died or ______ just announced she is pregnant or ________''s house just burned down". Bad news or other big life changing events happening to you or your nearest and dearest do not always signal the appropriate time for such a question as The Big One.

Stick with your original plan. It is very romantic! (the famous ''They'' have been known to say, "no one will ever remember what you did or what you said (or in your case, how much you spent), but they will always remember how you made them feel". Actually lets forget about THey for this time because she will definitely remember what you said, AND what you did, AND how it made her feel!)

I am rambling. All this to say Go For It!!

 

[moremoremore]

LOL...

"I hope you don''t plan on giving me any sparkly things within the next week."

Translated into women speak: I don''t want you to think that you have to...but WOW, that sure would be great! LOL

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 12/21/2004 9:43:32 AM
Author: moremoremore
LOL...

''I hope you don''t plan on giving me any sparkly things within the next week.''

Translated into women speak: I don''t want you to think that you have to...but WOW, that sure would be great! LOL

Funny, I was thinking the same thing. Me thinks young grasshopper has a bit to learn about women bespeak.

I say stick to your original plan.

 

[Croí]

hmmmm
this strikes a nerve.

I used that line once. That I didn''t want a proposal/ring at a given time. I had no inkling that there even was a ring (and we had not discussed marriage) but it was a big birthday (30) and we had been together a long time and everyone else (family, friends) were expecting it.

I never got the ring - ever. We broke up eventually because I didn''t think he wanted committment and I did. I only learned about the ring AFTER we had split.

If you love this woman and want her to be your wife, DON''T listen to her and go through with your plan. I know my statement was part ''defense'' because I just didn''t even allow myself to hope that there could be a ring and everyone insisting that there would be, only made everything worse.
You say you have been looking at diamonds and got her what she wanted but if she has no idea about any of this perhaps INSIDE she is losing hope ......... as I did.

Propose ! Propose !! Don''t lose this moment because of a comment she probably doesn''t even remember making.

Incidentally, I feel now that that ex and I were not meant to be, ring or no ring. There were several times, according to him, when he thought of proposing but something thwarted it one way or another. I feel it just wasn''t meant to be and I have found a new love who is far more my partner than my old beau ever was.
My whole response to the info that there was a ring but never a ''right time'' is simply what every other happily-once-proposed-to person will tell you.
If it''s the right PERSON, anytime, any scenario, is the PERFECT scenario.

Follow your heart ......... and good luck !! Let us know how it goes !

C

 

[codex57]

Propose! When we go out, we usually hold back if we had just made a major purchase. It''s just being frugal and living within your means. Trying to stick to a budget. Good stuff like that.

However, this is your proposal. You''re about to be engaged. It should be a once in a lifetime thing. As such, if you''ll survive, go ahead and do it. The same thing ran across my mind. I had just blown $18,000 on a ring. I was tempted to hold back, go to a cheaper, not as romantic restaurant and such. But, I was like, "you know what, this is a once in a lifetime event. We should enjoy it as much as possible." Even during dinner, while normally I wouldn''t order a drink and would have told her if they charged you for each refill, I didn''t say anything cuz I wanted her to enjoy herself fully and I wanted to see her completely happy about the moment without thinking of a relatively minor amount of money.

 

[JCulpepper]

Well, it has been awhile since we got back from Florida, but I have been working overtime, so I haven''t had much free time. Anyways, I decided to propose on the day after Christmas (the last day of our trip). We had a kinda rough time in Florida with the weird weather and transportation issues--it wasnt very relaxing. But I did ask her while we were in Florida, and she said yes right after she broke into tears, it was perfect!!

Thanks to everyone for your advice, it was appreciated.

And extra thanks to Barry at Superbcert.com; he was extremely helpful and took care of any questions I had. She loves her diamond, we are both very pleased with this purchase. Now my fiancee is the envy of all her friends. (not my objective, but a plus, nonetheless)

Thanks again to everyone, and I will post pics of the ring soon.

Jason.

 

[Kaleigh]

CONGRATULTIONS!!! I''m glad everything worked out for you two. Best wishes and post the pics soon!!

 

[mrmedoes]

Just do it. Tell her that the point is that she would make you happier than expensive drinks/food/etc. Then tell her about all the free drinks you can score as a result of getting engaged

 

[irishcaroline]

Congratulations!

When you follow your heart you will never go wrong.

Caroline