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Nothing spells ''MARRIED'' more than a plain WB. Opinions?

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DiamondFlame

DiamondFlame

Brilliant_Rock
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Feb 7, 2009
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680
That''s what I hear people say and I kinda agree with it (though I may have a problem convincing her).
What''s your take? Or does it apply more to the groom?
 
Not sure why it should make a difference. If she prefers a plain band, then great, but if not, are you going to try to convince her to get a plain band so she''ll look ''more married'' or something?
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Are you planning to present an engagement ring or just hoping she''ll be happy with a plain wedding band? I do not think what we here say will help you when it comes to convincing her that a wedding band is sufficient.
 
my thought is this....

if you plan on marrying her the ring, and the actions prior to it are about her, not you. you might think a rose tucked in the ear is good to show your married...but if she wants a ring that is what she should get. with in reason of course...but think outside of the box and not what you like, but what she does.

if you wanted a red corvette for your mid-life crisis and she though a kia in blue was more "mid-life crisis" would you be happy with a kia in the driveway?
joe
 
I love plain bands and wear mine a lot. I can wear it in nearly any situation and think it''s a very classy look.

I also enjoy my engagement ring and diamond wedding band. I got married with both a plain band and a diamond band so I could have choice and so that I could always wear the wedding band I was actually married with.
 
A plain band spells u.n.d.e.r.s.t.a.t.e.d to me. Any ring can spell m.a.r.r.i.e.d.
 
I prefer plain(ish) bands but that''s only because i''m very much into minimistic designs. But with so many styles out there, and people being very creative with their rings, I just assume married if wearing a ring on their left finger regardless of whether it''s plain or not.
 
Nothing says ENGAGED more then an e-ring
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He bought her an e-ring, I think he is just wanting to discuss the notion of a plain band.
 
Date: 6/7/2009 1:47:24 PM
Author:DiamondFlame
That''s what I hear people say and I kinda agree with it (though I may have a problem convincing her).
What''s your take? Or does it apply more to the groom?
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My personal take on this is that
--plain gold bands DO say married.
--solitaire or other engagement rings say ''engaged'' (but not married yet,unless there is also a plain gold band alongside them which would then say ''married.'' Of course those wrap things from the late ''80''s/early 90''s are wedding rings too, but it''s not as easy to see with a glance).
--bands with diamonds (whether full or partial eternity rings) say ''anniversary ring''. Of course, you must be married to begin to have an anniversary ring, obviously, but still the symbolism doesn''t say ''marriage'' to me in the same way a wedding band does.

I do not think of my wedding band as a fashion accessory. It is gold, because gold unlike silver or brass does not tarnish--it is, so to speak, eternal, as you would hope your marriage would be. (Platinum of course does not tarnish either). It is a ring, because a ring makes a circle, which also symbolizes being eternal. It is plain because, as the rabbis used to say, a plain band makes everybody getting married seem more equal. The rich bride and the poor bride are just as much married and are wearing the same kind of ring. Ostentation is not a part of this--it''s not a display of wealth. It is sacred (to me, anyway) because when I was married, in a church because that''s what I believe in, the ring was a part of the ceremony. As in, ''with this ring, I thee wed, with my body, I thee worship, with my worldly goods I thee endow", which was an oath I made to stay married to this same person, in the sight of God, until one of us died.

Of course I am 52 years old. I think it means all that, but a whole lot of people don''t think like me anymore. A lot of younger people never heard all of this, and if they did they might agree with only part or none of it. It''s a world today in which people make things mean what they want, to themselves personally and where traditions seem either stuffy or oppressive or non-inclusive or a whole bunch of other things. It seems to me that you had better talk to your bride-to-be. You sound as if you are worried that her wanting something other than the traditional plain gold band might mean that she is not ready to be invested in the marriage or as if you feel that she is materialistic or getting some kind of vibe that you just don''t trust. The time to put this on the table is BEFORE you get married. Further conversation on this issue with her will either reassure you--or it won''t. And then you can move on from there.

as people have been saying, the opinions of us strangers on this board aren''t really what is going to matter.
 
Date: 6/7/2009 1:47:24 PM
Author:DiamondFlame
That''s what I hear people say and I kinda agree with it (though I may have a problem convincing her).
What''s your take? Or does it apply more to the groom?
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Applies to groom only
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!
 
I agree with the statement that a plain metal wedding band spells married to more people across more generations. It is also a very practical look.

This doesn''t mean she won''t prefer something else, and nothing wrong with that.
 
I love the look of a plain metal wedding band, and I''m very much on the same page as Black Jade when it comes to the symbolism of the wedding band. But when all is said and done, a ring is a piece of metal and maybe some stones. It doesn''t come imbued with meaning, the "symbolism" is added by the owner. Hopefully the wedding rings will come to represent a life of shared love, respect, commitment, working together towards common goals, etc.... no matter what those rings are made of.
 
Why not have both?? I have a diamond band that I wear with my e-ring. And a plain platinum band that is great, as well.
 
Date: 6/7/2009 8:27:04 PM
Author: icekid
Why not have both?? I have a diamond band that I wear with my e-ring. And a plain platinum band that is great, as well.
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yep? just get both, have her switch out whenever she wants. just a plain band is relatively easy to come by.
 
I believe that it is a personal preference...she should get what she will be most happy with.
 
..a WB is a WB..regardless plain or blingy. FOR ME...nothing spells married more than my diamond eternity band LOL..BLING...MARRIED
 
i think in this case, it''s really what she wants, if you have to convince her to go with a plain band, it''s obvious she has her mind set on something else

i was going to get a plain band as well but i fell in love with an eternity band and thats what i got

i''m sure people will still know she is married
 
If you can afford what she wants then why force her to wear a plain band? If you can''t afford what she wants, well thats a different story. Just a thought.
 
The wedding band of her choice!
 
Don''t worry about me taking advice from strangers; we all need sounding boards sometimes and different perspectives can lead us to clearer thinking. I too agree that a WB is not a fashion accessory nor an excuse for onstentatious displays. I''m perfectly fine with blingy e-ring which was what she wanted and what I got her. But I prefer simpler, ''no diamonds'' matching WBs for bride and groom. But it shd not be about my preference nor shd it be about giving the lady whatever she desires cuz it takes 2 to make a marriage work. So I guess the final choice of WBs will be something both us could agree on.

I thank you for sharing your opinions. Blackjade especially.
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I interpret pretty much any ring worn on the left ring finger to mean "taken."

For me, I actually felt an eternity band spelled "married" more so than a plain band. Probably because I''d had plain bands in the past, but never a diamond band.
 
Date: 6/11/2009 12:09:31 AM
Author: DiamondFlame
it shd not be about my preference nor shd it be about giving the lady whatever she desires cuz it takes 2 to make a marriage work. So I guess the final choice of WBs will be something both us could agree on.
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It takes two to make a marriage work, but it doesn''t take two to pick a meaningful piece of jewelry
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in my own opinion, everyone is different of course. To me, it''s most important that the wearer love his or her ring, and the partner''s desires are secondary.

I wanted my husband to have exactly what he wanted, so he chose it all by himself. I wasn''t about to get a titanium band with a plat overlay to go with my antiquey engagement ring (which we chose together
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). It was important to me that he not HATE my choice of wedding band (not that he''d care), but I would have taken issue with him wanting to dictate parameters (budget=okay of course, style=why do you care?
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).

I think there''s a certain romance to plain matching bands, and I love the look, but it wasn''t for me or us.
 
Yeah, I get the ''pick the WB u love'' argument, as long as your partner is ok with your choice. Went down that route once, she didn''t approve of the ones I picked for myself. ''''Not wedding band'' enough''.
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Btw, I wonder if anyone here wish they had got a different WB/ring instead of the one they have now...
 
Date: 6/11/2009 12:41:45 AM
Author: DiamondFlame

Btw, I wonder if anyone here wish they had got a different WB/ring instead of the one they have now...
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Yes, many do, and that's why so many people upgrade and/or buy additional bands. Many people are not attached to the band (or e-ring) itself, it's the relationship they're attached to
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Me, I'm so attached to my wedding band I don't think I could ever bear to part with it
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Even though it's an eternity band, I've worn it 24/7 (apart from taking it off to clean it) since my wedding.
 
Well, I agree with musey that everyone should pick their own jewelry, and I think it''s a good point. Maybe it''s a little harsh to say, "I''m picking, not you." but I still agree with musey.

However, when one introduces the idea of traditions about engagement rings, and then wedding rings, wow, there are so many different ways that a couple might choose to make these decisions.

For instance, what if a fiance bought his bride to be an engagement ring of her dreams, they didn''t follow the "tradition" of him choosing the engagement ring, and the engagement ring was oodles of money. Would it then be reasonable for the groom to be to want to buy a plain metal band, and not a diamond band?

This is only, as I said, a hypothetical, just one situation that I can imagine. It is an individual and a personal decision, and even how individuals relate to each other, and what they agree between them is a personal matter.

So, I can''t give any specific advise, but I think, in general, it probably pays for both individuals to know their own minds, and then to have open, honest, and direct communication. This, to me, seems like the best way to insure that both individuals are happy with the result.

My 2 cents.
 
My husband was aesthetically opposed to the idea of an eternity band for the wedding band: he thought it looked too ostentatious and showy, given his cultural background. I didn''t agree, but did see the practicality of having a band that I could wear day-in, day-out, without worrying, so I wound up getting a scattered diamond band. Voila, perfect compromise! That said, I do love me my eternity bands, though, and have gotten two for anniversary gifts since marriage, which I''ll periodically wear besides my e-ring, with the w-band on the other hand ....
 
I have a Tiffany knife edge ring and planned on getting a plain band but ended up with a channel set diamond band. I love it. Actually the plain band made my ring look smaller (in my opinion). My parents had matching bands but all of the women I know who recently got married have diamonds in their bands. I think its a big trend right now. My fiance didn''t care what I did, actually he originally wanted plain bands, but ultimately wanted me happy. Actually he offered to buy two bands if I wanted two. I declined. I think its a little silly to worry about materialism if you''re getting an engagement ring because its materialistic and loaded with sybolism.
 
I have always had a wedding band with small diamonds (way before it was so common). I personally do not like super blingy rings on me. But my e-ring is a plain solitaire so I can have a diamond wedding band without it looking like it is too much.

I wouldn''t want to pick something my husband hated, but in most cases, each person should pick the ring they like best since they are the ones who''ll wear it. And a diamond band says "married" just as much as any other band!
 
I think I read recently (maybe even in this thread, but I''m really tired and fuzzy tonight, sorry!) about getting married with two bands (the plain and the diamond one) so that no matter which one you wear, you''re always wearing the one you got married with. I actually really like that - I personally want a shared prong, and BF says he prefers plain metal - and I like both looks, although to me, the plain one does say "married" more clearly. But I don''t like the idea of getting the shared prong later and then wearing that with the e-ring - I''d always want to wear the band I got married with. So maybe that''s a compromise? I''m sorry, this is really rambling. I think I''ll go sleep now.
 
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