Proposal not sure what I should do as I might not have a ring !

[aguyinlove]

Hi,

ok well I bought some tickets to go to the states for a holiday over December / Jan. I really want to propose to her alone the way I''m thinking either around San Fran area still not sure..

My drama is I''m still searching for the perfect diamond and time is running out. What should I do ? Can you give her the diamond and let her know we will get the ring made ? or should I buy her a smaller ring until we make the big one

so many things I want to make perfect for her..

thanks !

 

[aguyinlove]

Ladies any ideas ? or no replies because I need something ? = I''m in a bad position but I did not want to buy the wrong diamond !

 

[HopeDream]

Propose to her with a lovely place holder and tell her the diamond is on the way
Maybe get a nice but inexpensive colored stone ring, that she could still wear on the other hand.

or you could propose and then pick out an inexpensive placeholder ring together as a souvineer of your trip.

Don''t bring a loose diamond on vacation as it could get lost!!!

 

[TooPatient]

Don''t buy a diamond that isn''t right for you and her. Take your time and find the ONE.

I''m torn on the placeholder idea. On one hand, if the timing is right and you''re going somewhere special then a proposal would be great (and lack of proposal could leave her sad). Proposing without a ring just feels wrong to me.
I am very sentimental and wouldn''t want a "placeholder" if I couldn''t wear it every day. I''d always look at it and remember the proposal. The diamond may be the "official" e-ring, but the "placeholder" would be very special too.

I guess what I''m saying is that if the timing & location is right then you should do the proposal and a placeholder would be good. It can be a ring or pendant or whatever would be special for her & you. BUT -- make sure it is something nice that she can wear forever.

 

[SkiRush]

I was in a similar situation as you. I wasn''t sure on the ring I wanted to buy...she was, but I wasn''t set on it. Anyway, I tossed around the idea of having "stand-in" ring. WF was even going to have me buy the stone and set it in a temp. setting for free! Man, it was tempting. But, everyone that I spoke to about it thought it was a bad idea...and after thinking about it, I agree.

I feel bad for you if it''s the perfect time and perfect moment, but I think deep down, she''s not going to like the idea of a temporary ring.

 

[treefrog]

Guy,

If you''re creative, you can do a proposal without the actual ring or the diamond. I did a surprise proposal with only the diamond. This allowed her to pick out the ring and make sure it was sized properly. It was the only way I knew of to pull off a total surprise. Sure, I''m sure she and most other women would have wanted to have the completed ring to show right away but some times you just have to bend the rules. Here''s a link to how I pulled it off:

Diamond-only proposal

Treefrog

 

[aguyinlove]

thanks for taking the time to reply, I''m so excited about asking her to marry me that I would love to have the ring made and take it with us. But to be honest I''m not going to make the time line and want this to be something she will remember for ever. I know San Fran will be the place on our anniversary night but just not sure how.

thanks for all the input and help.. i shall return with some ideas...

 

[tlh]

I vote w/ a pretty right hand ring (w/ some blue in it..) that way it can be her something BLUE on the wedding day! and be a perfect stand in - that she can still cherish years after!

 

[dtnyc]

Date: 12/15/2009 3:27:29 PM
Author: tlh
I vote w/ a pretty right hand ring (w/ some blue in it..) that way it can be her something BLUE on the wedding day! and be a perfect stand in - that she can still cherish years after!

Ditto this- I have heard of ppl doing this before and it''s a lovely idea.
Also I have a friend who''s husband proposed with a signet ring (I guess w/ what her new initials would be post-marriage) and then they picked out the ring together.

I will say that unless you want her involved in the stone/ring selection/design process I wouldn''t propose w/o the real ring. I think that if you propose w/o the "real" ring then you are essentially inviting her to be a part of that process, so if you have strong ideas of what you want the ring to be like or don''t want her input, then you need to hold off.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

We were engaged without a ring.

When I was getting a bit itchy for a ring because wedding vendors kept looking at my bare finger, he bought me a diamond cluster ring. I was so proud of that ring. I wore it proudly as my ering - for about a month - then he surprised with my real ring which was my dream ring. Now I wear the most amazing ering ever AND a gorgeous RHR. Two rings is a win win situation

 

[aguyinlove]

thanks for the replies.... Can I ask for some samples of these ideas " I vote w/ a pretty right hand ring (w/ some blue in it..) " sorry I''m a boy and do not always get it ! ha ha

She has already told me she wants me to pick the diamond and ring but to keep the design classic and simple with a big diamond ! ha ha

... I''m going for the classic look with a twist... but time is not on my side... ! hence why I might not have a ring !

 

[dtnyc]

Depending on your budget you could look for a blue topaz ring from somewhere like smartbargains or overstock (both of which have a lot of decent looking blue topaz rings for under $200) or if you want to spend more you could do a blue sapphire from natural sapphire company. Aquamarines are nice too, but not cheap.

You know her style more than us, but personally for my something blue on my wedding day I wouldn''t want my right-hand-ring to be too much bigger than my e-ring and overshadow it- though I love me a big ring.

 

[aguyinlove]

Date: 12/15/2009 9:32:24 PM
Author: dtnyc
Depending on your budget you could look for a blue topaz ring from somewhere like smartbargains or overstock (both of which have a lot of decent looking blue topaz rings for under $200) or if you want to spend more you could do a blue sapphire from natural sapphire company. Aquamarines are nice too, but not cheap.


You know her style more than us, but personally for my something blue on my wedding day I wouldn''t want my right-hand-ring to be too much bigger than my e-ring and overshadow it- though I love me a big ring.

Thanks I will pop down the shops and see what they have in stock... something simple and classy is what I need... will keep you posted

 

[Patchee]

If it was me being proposed to without a ring I would feel like it is not a real proposal. You don''t want your girlfriend coming on pricescope starting a thread of "He proposed with no ring" now do ya?

Time IS running out... what is the hold up? Buying the perfect diamond? Do you have the setting?

I would hold off the proposal until you have thee ring, not a "promise" ring for the proposal.

 

[musiclover]

I just recently got engaged and my boyfriend needed more info from me to find a ring I loved. So his mom gave him his grandmother''s old ring to propose with. I wear that now until we find the perfect ring. I love being involved in the process, so I am glad we did it this way. And now I know I''ll get my perfect ring!

 

[vespergirl]

When my husband proposed, he told me that he didn''t have a ring because he wanted to take me ring shopping the next day so I could pick out whatever I wanted. I was happy with that, so maybe your fiancee would also be excited about designing her own ring.

 

[reader]

How about putting a nicely done note with the stone or future right hand ring: "I will love you for an eternity, and I want you to pick the ring that you will love for an eternity."