Non-traditional officiants?

[manderz]

Anyone in these parts going/ planning to go the route of having a loved one perform your ceremony? Would love to have my closest cousin officiate our ceremony, and are looking into the legalities of it, now.

 

[kelpie]

I officiated my brother's ceremony. In most states registering with the universal life church will give you the credentials. http://ulc.net/

My close friend performed our ceremony and he's in divinity school but not done yet, so he did it with his ULC ordination. It made it more meaningful for us, since we didn't have a minister or judge we knew well.

 

[aviastar]

Yes, my dad performed our ceremony. He is lay clergy in our church, but that has no legal standing in our county. We were going to just have a civil celebrant sign everything for us the morning of and let my dad conduct the ceremony anyway, but it turns out that he could simply apply for a one time civil celebrant licsence and we were all good. It cost about $80 and he had to leave a personal check for $500 that they returned to him uncashed as soon as he returned the marriage certificate to the courthouse. It worked out so well that he will be doing it again for my sister's best friend later this fall. We're in VA.

He also performed my sister's marriage, but out in Washington State and he called up the county clerk out there to find out about the legalities and they asked if he was clergy, he said yes (which is true), and they said then sign away and congrats to her! No forms, fees, nothing.

Sooo...call the court clerk of the county where the ceremony will be performed and just ask them how to arrange it.

I am religious and my husband is not, really, so having my dad perform the ceremony was just the exact right thing for us.

 

[PintoBean]

For our wedding ceremony, we had hubby's cousin, a judge, be the officiant. Yes, he could have legally married us, but we were not looking to rush into getting legally married. Hubby and I originally planned to get "legally" wed after our wedding ceremony. We were planning on having the civil ceremony on our first date anniversary, or after I paid off my school loans, or the first opportunity we got to get to Vegas.

Well, hubby surprised me with a mini-honeymoon to Vegas. I found out about it a week before our wedding, so we decided to take advantage of how easy it is to get married in Vegas and got married by Elvis. We loved having a second ceremony that was just for the two of us, and the DVD is hilarious.

 

[affguy]

I'm getting married this weekend and our officiant will be a friend of our's ordained with Universal Life Church. Actually when he and his wife (one of our bridesmaids) married, they had initially asked me (also ULC ordained) to perform the ceremony, but then they decided to do it on a beach in South America during a scuba diving trip, so they had another friend do the honors.

 

[Gypsy]

We did it and it was FABULOUS!!! We had DH's uncle perform ours and it was just wonderful.

BEST BOOK EVER: http://www.amazon.com/The-Wedding-Ceremony-Planner-Essential/dp/1402203438 and a must have if you want to go this route.

 

[manderz]

THANK YOU for all the responses, and Gypsy, for the book recommendation. Just downloaded the kindle version!

We were thinking we would like to have my cousin officiate (and she is more than happy to do it, too! She's the best!) but, she is not ordained or "allowed" to marry people. We were trying to see if we could get her ordained by Universal Life Church, but the more I look into things, the less likely it looks that it will happen. It seems my state doesn't recognize ULC as a real church We live in 2 separate counties, and hers for sure doesn't recognize them (even calls them out by name on their website) and I'm having trouble getting in touch with the right people to figure it out for mine.

I'm so glad to hear about all the positive experiences! Just confirms that this would be a really great way to go, if we can make it work.

 

[gem_anemone]

Our officiant was the mayor of the town we got married in. He is an acquaintance of my parents and he was happy to do it. He gave me a version of the ceremony he usually performs and then he let me rewrite whatever I wanted. It was great!

 

[Gypsy]

It was much easier to get Dh's Uncle a form form sent to him from the the county the wedding was in, stating that he would be officiating and what papers needed to be filed and when. Uncle sent it back in, signed and notarized, and was sent the forms we needed to sign on the day of. We officiated, we signed the forms and sent them back in, and our marriage certificate arrived in the mail. I think it cost us 50 bucks plus postage. I'd look into that.

 

[manderz]

Thanks, again, for all the sage advice. I will call the county clerk for the county we will be married in, and have them explain things for me. Will return once I've gotten things figured out. We met with someone at our venue, and she was very helpful, and gave us the number of a person to keep as a back-up.

 

[star sparkle]

We did it and it was FABULOUS!!! We had DH's uncle perform ours and it was just wonderful.

BEST BOOK EVER: http://www.amazon.com/The-Wedding-Ceremony-Planner-Essential/dp/1402203438 and a must have if you want to go this route.

YES! I have this book, and it is GREAT!

My brother's FIL (who was a bit of father figure for me while growing up) will be performing our ceremony. At first we were looking at just booking a traditional officiant, but then I decided I'd like something a little more personal. He's performed 2 other wedding ceremonies in the past, too, so ours won't be his first. I'm excited!!

 

[ruby59]

All I can add is make sure you are aware of the legalities of your state because the rules of who can marry you do differ. In my home state we were going to have a judge marry us. When we changed the venue to another state, we learned that in a civil ceremony, it would have to be a justice of the peace.