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No. 67 takes the cake. But he can''t eat it too.

Discussion in 'Bride World Wide & Grooms Grooves' started by Independent Gal, Feb 4, 2008.

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  1. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    No. 67 (of this thread fame https://www.pricescope.com/forum/bride-world-wide-grooms-grooves/joys-of-blank-rsvp-cards-t77716.html) sent a jokey e-mail in which he suggested that while he and his best pal / FI''s witness would be happy to sleep in my mother''s garden, in tents, if some more comfortable accomodation were to be found that would be great. I had the sense that the e-mail actually meant "Can we join the chorus of people wanting to stay at your mother''s house?". To which the answer is decidedly NO.

    I drafted what I thought was an equally hilarious response, if I do say so myself, and then suggested a couple of hotels and a link to trip advisor if he wanted more options. We hadn''t booked any specific block of rooms because FI & his parents agreed that there was too much variation in the pricepoint people would be looking at.

    Anyway, this morning FI got a completely IRATE e-mail from him which basically said that his e-mail to me was not just meant to be entertaining. And since he has important and time consuming duties related to the wedding (he''s in charge of speeches...oh, and note that his parents'' bounty means he doesn''t work, so he''s not, like, busy or anything) that the least my mother or I could do would be to arrange accomodation for him. I''m still not 100% sure whether this means a) why can''t we stay at your mom''s or b) why aren''t you paying for our hotel or c) why don''t you call and make a reservation for us. But it seems to me that all three options are crazy.

    I''m all W.T.F?!?!

    FI is really upset. Apparently, No. 67 sulks. For months. He thinks this will ruin the wedding for him now.

    This whole wedding thing has revealed to me whole ranges of human behaviour for which the only appropriate phrase is "Who raised these people?!?"

    OK, end rant.
     
  2. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    GRRRR! I just re-read 67''s email (which FI forwarded), and while I''m not fluent in FI''s language, it just seems so outrageous. Like "One would think [Indy & Indymom] would concern themselves more carefully with my comfort."

    Oh, I need to wash my mouth out with soap. There was quite a lot of rather creative cussing just now.
     
  3. Courtneylub
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by Courtneylub » Feb 4, 2008
    Wow, that is unbelieveable.

    Have you let off enough to steam to figure out how you guys will reply to that?
     
  4. ~*Snow*~
    Shiny_Rock

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    by ~*Snow*~ » Feb 4, 2008
    Indy: I had a good chuckle at your other thread about this no.67 last week.
    Not to defend his action in any way, but was there simply a language barrier? Maybe your e-mail didn''t come off as funny to him if he doesn''t fully understand the language?
    And if not.. well how very bridezilla of him, only the bride is allowed to throw such tantrums! It is YOUR day after all, not his.
    [​IMG]
     
  5. tberube
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by tberube » Feb 4, 2008
    Weddings bring out the best in people, and the worst. Mostly the worst, though. [​IMG]
     
  6. Haven
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by Haven » Feb 4, 2008
    Oh dear, and I rather liked No. 67 after your first thread about him.

    I hope he doesn''t sulk to the point of putting a damper on your wedding, and if he does, your FI is certainly within his limits to ask him to suck it up and behave like an adult.

    I''m sorry to hear about this, Indy, his behavior is rather appalling.
     
  7. sap483
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by sap483 » Feb 4, 2008
    Hi Indy,

    I''m sorry that No. 67 is causing you stress. You mentioned that you aren''t completely fluent in his language- so I''m assuming he has a different background than you. Could it be that his expectations of having you arrange his accomodations are cultural? In my family''s culture, if you attend a wedding out of town, the hosts are expected to not only arrange but also pay for your accomodations. I think it''s ridiculous, being born and raised in this country, but my mom insists that we need to do this to avoid offending our relatives. Of course that may not be the case with No. 67, and he could really be as obnoxious as he comes off as!
     
  8. gtn
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by gtn » Feb 4, 2008
    Indy, I wish I could tell you something that would make this situation better. I suppose telling No. 67 to "man up", is out of the question, eh? My best guess is to have your FI talk to him directly. Sometimes things are misinterpreted.
     
  9. Gypsy
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by Gypsy » Feb 4, 2008
    I can tell you where I would tell #67 to stick his cake. And I can tell you that he wouldn''t want to eat it afterward. [​IMG]
     
  10. surfgirl
    Ideal_Rock

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    by surfgirl » Feb 4, 2008
    Why dont you simply email him and ask what hotel price point he''d like you to look into and offer to book a room for him in his name if he gives you his c/c info, or simply book a room somewhere and ask them to email him directly for c/c info to hold the room. If he''s expecting you to pay for his room, forget that. I mean honestly, does someone really need to "be in charge" of speeches anyway? I think not. If he''s this boorish, you dont need him there. He sounds like a pompous ass.
     
  11. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    I wouldn''t be surprised if there had been some sort of linguistic or cultural miscommunication. None of FI''s other friends or family seem to have expected accomodation to be taken care of, but maybe it''s an expectation of the wedding party, that FI just wasn''t aware of? The ''being in charge of speeches'' thing is some ''official'' position in FI''s culture like being Maid of Honour. I guess it''s kind of like Best Man, except I think he has one of those too.

    FI is dealing with it, though I can''t get ahold of him to see how it''s going or whether it''s settled.

    I have to say, my previous impression of him, in person, over the phone etc. has been that he was very over the top and hammy, and playfully camp. I put a lot of what I would have taken as pomposity from anyone else down to ''put-on'' campiness. But this incident is making me wonder whether Surf is right, and he is just a pompous ass. That would be a shame. I really thought I liked him and was looking forward to seeing him again.

    [​IMG][​IMG]

    But who says that?!? "One would think [Indy & Indymom] would concern themselves more carefully with my comfort."

    OK, I''ve gotta stop cussing. I''m in the office today.
     
  12. surfgirl
    Ideal_Rock

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    by surfgirl » Feb 4, 2008
    Well Indy, if he''s that "campy" and bombastic, do you really want/need someone like that at your wedding? It sounds like he''s the type that will make the day all about him and that will piss you off, as it rightly should. I dont know, I''d try to "give us your c/c and we''ll book a room for you" tact to see if he''s expecting a free room or not. I dont give a rat''s butt what culture he comes from, expecting your room paid for? Unless it''s been previously offered it shouldn''t be an expectation.
     
  13. pjean
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by pjean » Feb 4, 2008
    Someone who should be concerning himself more carefully with your comfort.
     
  14. sumbride
    Ideal_Rock

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    by sumbride » Feb 4, 2008
    pompous ass indeed! So you say he does not work because his parents are very wealthy... is he perhaps like one of those children of the rich that does not have any manners or work ethics? Because that''s how I''m reading it. "What about me???? WHINNNEEEEEE!!!!"

    ugh. I''m so sorry you have to deal with this Indy, but better it comes up now than the week of the wedding. Weddings do truly bring out the worst in people.
     
  15. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    Surf I actually like campy, especially if it's funny. And this guy really is very funny. I don't like pompous or entitled. This guy is old family friends with FI's family, they've known each other all their lives, so he really has to come. But I honestly can't believe his behaviour. I sure hope that FI has some kind of reasonable explanation after talking to him.

    How FRAKKING RUDE can you be? I'm still so pissed. Like beyond pissed.

    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  16. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    And yeah, Sum I think there is a such things as being too rich. If I had money, I would insist my kids work and strive to succeed. I might help them buy a house or something, but I would not support them otherwise until they could stand on their own feet and know what it is to do a day''s work and make a living. I know three people who have never had to work, and none of them are particularly well, uh, adjusted.
     
  17. sumbride
    Ideal_Rock

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    by sumbride » Feb 4, 2008
    Agreed! A safety net is one thing, but complete entitlement is not usually conducive to personal growth.
     
  18. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    Update: just got an e-mail from FI. Apparently, I was right and he had wanted an invitation to stay at my mom''s place. In fact, FI said that he had "anticipated" it as in expected it.

    Oh.My.God.

    Who ARE THESE PEOPLE?!!?!?!?!?!!?!? Who are these peoples'' parents? Is it just me, or is that just about beyond rude?

    Geez.
     
  19. Italiahaircolor
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Italiahaircolor » Feb 4, 2008
    I firmly believe that there should be a class in college about weddings. The do''s and the don''t-you-dares! Oh, and make that class man-da-tory!

    Wouldn''t that solve a lot?

    Hope he doesnt ruin your wedding...but, like you said when my friend was out of line with me...it doesn''t sound like anything he is saying is so terrible. He probably had a misconception about what you were/weren''t paying for. I''d let your FI handle it.
     
  20. Rhea
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Rhea » Feb 4, 2008
    Ugh, that sounds like fun. I hope that your FH is able to get it all sorted out with his friend.

    Our friends and family didn''t really seem to understand that 1) we needed our own space and 2) the space my mother had available was very very limited. Weddings really do bring out both the best and worst in people.
     
  21. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    My impression from FI is that it Has Been Handled. Is all sorted out. Clarified. Etc.

    The thing that is really killing me right now is that it's inconsiderate enough to ASK to stay at someone's mother's house, like Birdie did. But the idea that you become irate, and have a sense of expectation that you OUGHT to be put up. That's outrageous.

    Talk about a sense of entitlement.

    I would be inclined to take Italia et al.'s advice and just chill except that FI is now saying he seems to have forgotten several peoples' girlfriends. So that the guestlist has now expanded by about 15% overnight.

    OK, deep breaths. None of it is the end of the world.

    I really wish we had eloped though.

    I am so sick of drama.

    GIRLS! ELOPE! WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME!
     
  22. gtn
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by gtn » Feb 4, 2008
    that is beyond rude. Who invites themselves to stay at someone else''s home? Oi, even when invited to stay at people''s houses, if I think it would put them out, I would go to a hotel. Especially when I have the means.
     
  23. iheartscience
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by iheartscience » Feb 4, 2008
    Wow...that is ridiculous! I''m especially amazed that he had the audacity to actually complain rudely to your fiance about the fact that he wasn''t invited to stay at your mother''s house. Assuming that he would be invited to stay there is bad enough! Wow. He seems to lack social skills. Yikes.
     
  24. ringster
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by ringster » Feb 4, 2008
    are you sure he''s not No. 666 :P

    hang in there IG :)

    and yes ... ELOPE GIRLS ... IT''S TOO LATE FOR US ... BUT YOU CAN STILL SAVE YOURSELVES ;P
     
  25. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    YES! SAVE YOURSELVES! SAVE YOURSELVES! IT''S NOT WORTH IT!
     
  26. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    Holy smokin'! I just talked to FI, and I don't think I have EVER seen him so angry. I think the fact that I have been doing most of the work up to now sort of shielded him from the drama element of the wedding, and now that his friends are misbehaving, he is just on fire. He's all "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY FRIENDS?!?"

    Anyway, apparently No. 67, having once been to my mom's place for cocktails, assumed that because it's so huge (it is, uh, palatial to say the least... belongs to my step-dad's organization, not to my parents) she'd be putting everyone and their uncle up and took offence that he wasn't being put up too. Now, the inn is full. And it's not an inn. Someone has to do all that laundry! Someone has to make all those meals! And someone has to pay for it all too. And pay for the people to help do all the extra laundry and make all the meals. Despite the palatial home (which isn't theirs), my parents are comfortable but certainly not rich.

    I think people assume that my step-dad's organiztion pays for everything. But this is a private family event, and that would be stealing. So, uh, no. It doesn't work like that. But I was just talking to BFF and she said that even her almost FI had said "Hey, let's go take a holiday at Indy's parents' place!" and she was all "Uhhhh... we can't just invite ourselves, y'know!!!"

    Add to that that my parents are NOT people people (i.e., don't enjoy guests) and, well, no frakking way.
     
  27. Pandora II
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Pandora II » Feb 4, 2008
    Oh, you poor thing!

    I can''t believe some people behave this way. I would always assume I wasn''t invited to anything unless implicitly asked. No.67 sounds like he needs a good slapping!

    I hope your FI is dealing with him with proper force!

    I''ve got mad FI''s stepmother (who has been sprung from hospital by his father and having spoken to her the other night, is quite definitely still off her rocker) who has decided that she and FFIL are going to come and ''get to know your parents'' in the 3 days before the wedding, because the cruise they get back from is docking closer to my parents than theirs so no point in going home.

    My mother has MS and she and I are DIYing all the flowers etc - so I think not...

    Oh, and I''ve been bullied into inviting her son, who is the spawn of the devil.[​IMG]

    I join the call of Elope while you can!
     
  28. robbie3982
    Ideal_Rock

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    by robbie3982 » Feb 4, 2008
    I''m sorry all of the wedding stress is getting to you [​IMG]. It really got to me too. It''ll all be over soon though and once you''re married all the stress will be a distant memory.

    I just looked at the list and realized that Wedding Part 1 is on my bday!
     
  29. ringster
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by ringster » Feb 4, 2008
    off topic but ... i love battlestar galactica too! can''t wait until march.

    on topic -- yes yes GIRLS ... look into your monitor ... you are feeling very very sleepy ... you will wake up and have the extreme desire and energy to pull off an elopement ... you will not let anyone else but your FI and yours wishes interfere with your main objective ...


    [​IMG]
     
  30. Independent Gal
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Independent Gal » Feb 4, 2008
    Cool, Ringster. We''ve been watching B.G. on DVD from netflix. We lerrrrrrve it. [​IMG]

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    Just a little hint from me to you, all you lurkin'' not-yet-plannin'' gals. [​IMG]
     
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