Next-Door Neighbor Vent

[aviastar]

Hey JF, I'm am sorry if it was my post that you found condescending- please know it was not meant that way. I would have handled the situation differently and I would have been very upset had someone done that to me- but since you have had a good response from him now, you obviously know him and how to reach him best. Glad it has been positive!

 

[Rhea]

I watch a diabetic family kill their self in the same way. Nothing helps. I scream, I beg, I attempt to come up with low stress solutions that involve little change. Nothing works. The person has to want to change and my family member doesn't want to. I get that you're mad, but I doubt your behaviour helped especially if he's been through this with others before, like his mother. You can't change someone else's behaviour, only your reaction to it.

 

[House Cat]

You are a wonderful person to do all that you have done for this man.

That is all.

 

[JewelFreak]

Hi Laurie: I work with two area rescue groups that will take in seniors. One of them is Adopt A Husky. They currently have a 15 yr old female husky that was left at a shelter. They have rehomed quite a few senior dogs. I know the board members quite well who run this group so perhaps they could help if there is a need. The other group isn't breed specific but they only rescue senior pets, Young At Heart Pet rescue. Fantasic group, I host their Santa photo fundraiser every year. I don't know where you are located and certainly hope that there won't be a need to try to find a place for the dogs, but wanted to offer these resources. Best of luck with this tough situation.

Wow, Woofmama, those sound like angelic groups. I'll google them to see where they are. Would they take out-of-area dogs, do you think? I know there's nothing like that around here -- just regular rescues & they are overwhelmed as it is, with younger dogs. They're honest enough to say outright that an old one doesn't stand much of a chance. (To me, who adopted a 10-yr-old sight unseen when his owner died.) Thank you for the tip, though. I hope it's not necessary!

--- Laurie

 

[Enerchi]

I think you are an amazing person for your care and concern regarding this man and his dogs!!

I hope none of the 'worst case scenarios' come to pass and hopefully Mr. Neighbour will be in touch with one of his family members soon. Could you be there with him to get him to make a call to a relative?? Sometimes it just takes a push from an outside source to get people motivated to make a change.

Good luck, hang in there! You are the kind of neighbour we only WISH we had on 'our side' with our clients!

 

[iLander]

Laurie!

I didn't read all the posts . . .

I've just got to say you are angel for doing all that you do for him. Absolute angel.

I think that some people are givers and some are takers, and this guy is a taker. If I were you, I'd start trying to ease out, maybe call his relatives next time he has another episode. At least let it be known that he has these issues, and that they have to step up.

You may have to repeat to him your concerns about the dogs. Maybe as a greeting "So, make any plans for the dogs?". Every time you see him. People have a tendency not to listen unless you belabor a point. When you see him outside, every time, then you become a pneumonic device, and every time he sees you, he'll think of it. And maybe it will happen.

You are amazing. Really very nice. I'm patting you on the back

 

[partgypsy]

I agree with Karl Since he has involved you so much in his life, you already are involved, one way or another. Maybe this will be a wake up call. Again, because you love dogs, and you have taken care of his dogs so much with that whole history, I'm sure he is thinking that you would take care of his dogs or rehome should something happen. So again, to remind him again that you are not taking responsibility for his dogs. Maybe he will take care of himself more, maybe he will look for alternative contacts for re homing the dogs, or at the least, not be under the delusion that his dogs would be OK no matter what he does with his health.

 

[CJ2008]

You may have to repeat to him your concerns about the dogs. Maybe as a greeting "So, make any plans for the dogs?". Every time you see him. People have a tendency not to listen unless you belabor a point. When you see him outside, every time, then you become a pneumonic device, and every time he sees you, he'll think of it. And maybe it will happen.

I love this idea...

 

[MichelleCarmen]

.

 

[webdiva]

[quote="JewelFreak|1356608732|3340556"Here's why I'm enraged: his dogs will finish up very badly if he dies. One is 11 -- a shelter will put him down immediately as unadoptable & he's very sweet. The other is a year old with an extremely iffy temperament, wonderful when everything's good but a fear-biter, unmanageable, when scared or angry. Unfortunately not a good candidate for a family. Likely to be put down too. This nimrod yammers constantly about how much he loves his dogs -- but prefers his muffins & ice cream to thinking about their welfare. He can't survive another episode like this last one. Today I'm going to tell him all this -- and tell him a gun will make suicide quicker & easier. But first, provide for your dogs! He has a choice. They do not. Sad to see somebody die of stupidity.

--- Laurie[/quote]

Thank you for helping your neighbor and his dogs. As someone that also helps out in rescue, I admire you for trying to fix the problem before it results in two sweet dogs being homeless. It makes me so angry when irresponsible pet owners don't do what they can to keep their pets safe - since they are helpless and we as pet parents are their guardians.

Sounds like you have quite a bit of husky experience and see how dire the situation is. my 1 1/2 year old (At the time) female husky was a fearful handful when we got her. We're happy that continued training, exercise and socializing along with her calm older doggie brother have made her so much calmer and manageable. Sounds like your neighbor isn't doing this and I absolutely agree with you being upset about it. A tired husky is a happy husky for all those unfamiliar with the breed! if the inevitable comes to pass, I'm happy to network my husky contacts. Are you on FB? If you can get both to CO, I'm almost positive I have an experienced rescue that will take both.

 

[JewelFreak]

Webdiva, you are a godsend! If worse comes to worst, I'll take you up on that, though we're a looong way from CO. That part's easy to figure out. Yes, I've had Siberians for 25 yrs, most of the time 2 or 3 at once. Like you, I'm passionately in love w/the breed, can't imagine life without them. They've taught me far more than I've taught any of them throughout their lives.

iLander, as usual you hit the nail squarely on the head! Your gift is for more than finding lost items. Yeah, he is a taker, not a giver. I did establish boundaries when I felt taken for granted, told him emergencies only -- and they have increased constantly.

When I waited for the EMTs with him for the umpteenth time -- who would refuse? -- fearing he'd stroke out before they arrived, then saw piled on his kitchen counter the absolute garbage he ate, I blew my stack. Brownies, muffins, 2 BOXES of Cadbury eggs, pie, marshmallows, cocoa, potato chips, Coke, freezer stuffed w/ice cream. Each emergency is completely unexpected to him, stupid beyond belief. So I'm taking care of his dogs for 5 days -- for the hundredth time -- and over Christmas, tramping to his house before bed Christmas eve, by 6:30 a.m. Christmas morning, & all day, in the rain, while he is at death's door literally, having caused it himself. Sweet dogs welcome me with woos & yips & doggy hugs, not understanding why they're stuck alone. Not NEEDING to be, if he had any self-discipline. I know if he dies, no one else will take responsibility for innocent creatures who can't fix it themselves. Then he tells me he LIVES for his dogs. Pure self-indulgent blarney.

Your suggestion to mention it every time I see him is great. I'll do it! Thank you, everybody, for your support. I'm not melting down, just thoroughly disgusted!

--- Laurie