Newly Pregnant and Interviewing for Jobs

[littlelysser]

Hi ladies -

I''m looking for some insight here.

Long story long - I was an attorney for the past 8 years. In December of 2007, I left the law to design jewelry. Well, I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Eve - which means no more jewelry making for the next 7 months, due to the chemicals used in the jewelry making processes.

Also, considering the rather dismal state of the economy, I''ve decided it''d be best to pad our coffers as much as possible until the kid comes.

So, I''m applying for some temporary/contract legal work - and I feel absolutely no need to tell those folks that I am knocked up. These positions are temporary in nature.

However, I''m also applying for some part time legal work. These are permanent positions. I know that according to US employment discrimination law, it is illegal to refuse to hire someone because they are pregnant. I also know it is silly to think that that fact won''t be included in the ultimate decision hiring decision.

My initial reaction is to be upfront. I''m currently 8 weeks pregnant. Which means that I may begin showing at some point in the near-ish future. Also, it seems deceitful not to disclose the information. I may really like working at one of these places and I''d hate to start out on the wrong foot.

What do you guys think?

 

[steph72276]

If it were me, I would not disclose the pregnancy until you have an offer on the table.

 

[indecisive]

Date: 1/25/2009 7:46:07 PM
Author: steph72276
If it were me, I would not disclose the pregnancy until you have an offer on the table.

Ditto, it''s not deceitful because by law it is none of their business. Good luck!

 

[neatfreak]

There was just a thread on this awhile ago... I will see if I can find it.

I personally would tell them, once an offer has been made. That way you are upfront right away but it doesn't influence the hiring decision.

 

[Pandora II]

As you probably know I''m in a legal battle over this very issue.

My advice would be to tell them upfront - yes, it may well mean you won''t get the job, but it also means that if you do you hopefully won''t face the nightmare of just how unpleasant things could get further down the line when they do find out.

If you''d asked me 6 months ago, I''d have given you a different answer - I believed that people didn''t discriminate in the 21st century in this way. It doesn''t matter how illegal it is or not, companies are out for themselves.

 

[littlelysser]

Thanks for the heads up, Neat.

I took a look at the older threads. They seem pretty clearly don''t tell.

I''m not sure why I''m feeling so torn. The place I''m interviewing are small - like one or two attorneys that specialize in labor and employment law...and they are part-time positions, which I think lessens the impact of the fact that I''m prego.

Finally, I had a friend that had a really awful experience with not being upfront with a female boss. She found out she was pregnant before she accepted the job and the woman she worked for basically made her life hell and told her that woman like her are the reason that women get a bad name in the workforce. It was a really awful experience. Of course, this woman was absolutely horrid for a multitude of reasons - but I really do think that honesty might be the best policy.

I know that I am not legally obligated to say anything, but morally I feel I should. And frankly, if they wouldn''t hire me because I am pregnant, I''m not sure it is the type of environment I''d want to work in.

 

[littlelysser]

I know what you''ve gone through Pandora, and I think I''ve come to a similar conclusion, in hopes of avoiding what you, and my good friend, went through.

I definitely appreciate all the insights!

 

[cara]

I think you can still be completely honest and upfront by telling them after they have made an offer. Especially if you will need some accommodation, such as time off outside of FEMA if you are in the US. If they are going to start pulling $(@# on you, it would happen then. It would also allow you to let them know in a timely fashion. Yes, any place that would cause difficulty is not really a place you want to work, but it might be best just to let them make their hiring decision first and then give them an opportunity to treat you reasonably. If you tell them during interview, prior to an offer, it seems like that would be implicitly telling them it was something they should consider, when you don't want it to be a factor.

 

[strmrdr]

If you want to be considered for a full time position there at a later date be honest up front.
Also be aware and you may already know that there is a don''t not employ gossip list in that field in many areas so it may impact other future offers.
Word will get around about it.

 

[TravelingGal]

This is a sticky situation, and one that my friend is currently in. She has opted not to find employment until after the baby.

I work for a huge company and we have to take courses in this stuff from time to time. You will put them in an awkward position if you tell them during the interview. Why? Because it''s legally none of their business and they can''t even comment on the fact. They might say, "We don''t discuss private matters during this interview, thank you" and leave it at that. Will it affect their hiring? Maybe, maybe not. But people come into interviews with the sole purpose of dropping bombs like that, then SUING when they don''t get the job. Strange, but true.

If they offer you the job, and then you tell them...well, it''s not like they can rescind the offer, because then you really have grounds to sue.

And I will say, whether your new boss be a horrid person or the most understanding person on earth, S/HE will NOT like it. I mean, would anyone? Hiring someone for a much needed position only to find out after X months of training, they have to find someone else to train to do the work again until the person comes back? Worse case scenario, you get a nasty situation like Pandora''s, which just makes my hair rise.

Is this fair? Nope, not at all. But if you really need the job, do yourself a favor, don''t mention it at the interview. No one wants to hear it (although many may secretly appreciate it.) If I were you, I''d stick with the temping for now, but that''s just me.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 1/25/2009 10:04:17 PM
Author: TravelingGal
This is a sticky situation, and one that my friend is currently in. She has opted not to find employment until after the baby.

I work for a huge company and we have to take courses in this stuff from time to time. You will put them in an awkward position if you tell them during the interview. Why? Because it''s legally none of their business and they can''t even comment on the fact. They might say, ''We don''t discuss private matters during this interview, thank you'' and leave it at that. Will it affect their hiring? Maybe, maybe not. But people come into interviews with the sole purpose of dropping bombs like that, then SUING when they don''t get the job. Strange, but true.

If they offer you the job, and then you tell them...well, it''s not like they can rescind the offer, because then you really have grounds to sue.

And I will say, whether your new boss be a horrid person or the most understanding person on earth, S/HE will NOT like it. I mean, would anyone? Hiring someone for a much needed position only to find out after X months of training, they have to find someone else to train to do the work again until the person comes back? Worse case scenario, you get a nasty situation like Pandora''s, which just makes my hair rise.

Is this fair? Nope, not at all. But if you really need the job, do yourself a favor, don''t mention it at the interview. No one wants to hear it (although many may secretly appreciate it.) If I were you, I''d stick with the temping for now, but that''s just me.

Ditto all of this. In particular, I ditto the highlighted part. I just completed a round of interviews on the academic job market when I was between 7 and 8 months pregnant and I can speak from my own experience that employers are indeed uncomfortable talking about the impact that your pregnancy will have on work! My situation is a *little* different in that the jobs I applied for would not begin until my child was 6 months old, and so I can start the position on time if need be, but different issues remain (like their attitude about what it means about my commitment to my career that I chose to have a child at this stage). However, I did stuggle with whether or not to forewarn them that I was preggo before going to the interviews, and in the end decided not to say anything until I got there, at which time I brought it up casually in meetings (though it was fairly obvious

). Most people simply stuck with a big old congradulations and left it at that! The few times I did try to say things like, "Oh the timing is really good because I can go back to work in the fall!" They would say things like, "Oh, that is none of our business!" I''m glad I told them that information, but my point is that it makes them uncomfortable.

In your shoes this is what I would do: I would apply for all the temp jobs and I would NOT NOT NOT tell them I was pregnant during the interview process. Perhaps, if you feel inclined, you can tell them when you get an offer... But if I am being totally honest, I wouldn''t tell them I was pregnant until I had to (i.e. it was physically obvious, which is later than you think... you may be 20 weeks before you really show! Or your could be 16, who knows). I just think it is legally and morally none of their beeswax when I have a child! I''m sorry, but I disagree heartily with all the people commenting about how it isn''t fair to them not to tell them and be "up front". The fact is, when a company hires someone there is never a guarantee that that person will stick around. People leave all the time for various reasons, personal and prefessional. Yup, they may be annoyed at you. But they would be annoyed if you left because you found a higher paying job too! They are annoyed whenever people leave for whatever reason. And women certainly do not corner the market on leaving jobs! I am sure that there are a few men out there who took a job while they were still looking for something better, then left the first company after 6 months when that "something better" came around.

I don''t think, though, that I would apply for the permanent jobs in your shoes esp. because you dont know if you would even want to go back to those jobs after you have the baby/take leave. In that case, I can see how it may not be "fair" to the employer. However, if you are SURE that you want to return to the job after the governtment mandated 12 weeks of leave, then I would take the same approach as the temp jobs an not tell them until it became relevant to them! They can manage for 12 lousy weeks. In Candada, they somehow manage for 12 months!! There are tonnes of people looking for work, I''m sure they can fill your shoes.

In the end, I think we women should make our decisions in our work regarding our pregnancies and childrearing responsibilities according to the law. If we come accross situations where we feel the law is being violated, THEN we can make the decision about whether we want to fight it or walk away or lodge a complaint or what have you. But if we keep taking ourselves out of the game before we even allow people to treat us the right way, then things are just never going to change.

 

[littlelysser]

Thanks for the thoughts everyone.

I definitely have no plans on telling the temp jobs I'm applying for that I'm pregnant. I am applying for them through various legal temp firms - and I have no qualms about keeping my pregnancy to myself. It is currently looking like I am going to be staffed on one temp project in the next week or two, which is great. And because of the nature of these jobs, namely that they end in a matter of weeks or months, I don't think my being pregnant is at all relevant.

As for the part-time jobs - well, I've already applied and have one interview scheduled for Tuesday. Because I don't "need" either of the part-time jobs, but would be interested in them IF the situation is right. Really, tihs process is going to be me interviewing them as much as it is them interviewing me.

Thus, after giving it quite a bit of thought, I do think I'll be upfront and let the hiring attorney know after the interview has concluded. Frankly, if a place isn't willing to hire me because I'm pregnant, then it isn't the sort of place I'd want to work.

I really do appreciate everyone's thoughts!

 

[chrono]

To me, it''s none of my prospective employer''s business. I mean, does a guy tell his future boss his wife is pregnant and he has to take FMLA soon? I know it''s different for a guy but still I don''t think he''ll say anything. I was 6 months pregnant when I was hired. I did not say anything, and when I was hired, I worked very hard to prove myself and make sure that everyone is pleased with my work. After a month, I had a closed door discussion with my boss and he was very understanding. I want to be taken seriously as a professional; I know to not hire a pregnant lady is discrimination but the real world doesn''t always function like that. The prospective employer will always be thinking about having to cover your 6 weeks off disability, medical expenses, and what if you change your mind and don''t come back? Also, it''s a good thing I was small at 6 months.

 

[Pandora II]

I think it may be different in the USA because you have such tiny maternity leave allowances.

Here in the UK - and most of Europe - maternity leave is a year and so the cost to a company can be pretty high.

My company pays full pay for the first 13 weeks, half pay for the next 13, statutory which is paid by the government for the next 13 and the final 13 weeks are unpaid. It''s not a bad package, but a lot of companies and especially government departments are extremely generous.

Obviously you can go back earlier, but I don''t know anyone who has taken less than 6 months.