Newbie

[goincrazy]

Hi all.
I''ve stumbled upon this site a few times during the last several weeks and it looks really helpful (to have a group of people who might feel my pain).

I (2 have been dating my BF (30) for 2 1/2 years, living together for almost 1. Last year I moved to OR from CA (which I love) to be with him. We''re very serious and are "planning" on getting married (in Jamaica or Mexico). We hadn''t really discussed for quite some time when, seemingly out of the blue, he brought up our wedding plans a couple weeks ago. Ever since, I''ve been convined V-Day was going to be the big day and have been obsessed with planning our destination wedding. Last night the discussion came up again and, to keep it short, he basically said he was planning on getting married this year but that I shouldn''t expect the proposal to happen on V-Day (he was nice about it, I''m just conveying the basics). I asked him what his time frame was and he said he didn''t want to give away the surprise (he''s mentioned giving me his mom''s wedding ring before -- which I''m not that crazy about).
I''m so disappointed as I was counting on finally being able to plan without seeming like a lunatic. Any advice other than be patient (not my strong suit)?

 

[Shay]

Hey goincrazy, welcome to the Ladies in Waiting.

I am actually an ex lady in waiting but I was on the list sice 2004 and only got engaged last december. I made it all the way up to number 7 on the LIW list!

The best advice for keeping calm is to do something else. I went through the manic stage when I was always talking about marriage and engagement etc and Im sure I drove my poor fiance nuts. When I finally let go of it all and started kickboxing classes and kept myself busy I thought about it less, and that''s when it happened.

You have a concrete deadline so make yourself see it as "my bf will propose on the 31st of december 2006". Then if it happens anytime sooner it''s a pleasant surprise instead of a anxty issue.

Good luck

 

[anchor31]

Welcome!!

I too, have been given a 2006 timeframe and I am doing exactly what Shay suggested: convincing myself that he will propose on the last day of the year to keep from being disappointed. Of course, every time he brings it up or something happens, I get all excited and I have to do it all over again, but that''s just me and my over-excited self

. Most of the time it works though.

Good luck, and don''t forget to drop a line on the "official list" thread to be added to the list and introduce yourself in the "introduce yourself" thread!

 

[gracie007]

my advice is to not stray to far into the ring discussions on this wonderful site...i think i have really become a harasser to my boyfriend since i started looking at everyone''s rings...seriouslY!

 

[Mandarine]

I also have a 2006 "time frame" I''m also 28 and my BF is 31...my suggestion: convince yourself that it will not happen any time soon. Last year I was almost sure he was going to do it on my birthday...and he didn''t. I had the worst birthday ever!!....it was all my fault though. Even though he tried to make my birthday very special it just wasn''t good for me and I ended up being dissapointed. From that day on I said to myself I was never doing that again. It just messes up days that should be wonderful!...

So try to "enjoy" the wait and try to just have a good time!

M~

 

[goincrazy]

thanks to all. I''ll do my best...

During the conversation with my BF, when I asked for a time frame he said "put it this way, I want to buy a house this fall and we''ll be married before then". He so does not get the time it takes to plan a wedding, not to mention a destination wedding (his idea) where people have to take time off work, save up and plan around hurricane season (for caribbean). I told him December was more practical but we needed at least 8 months to plan. I can''t believe so many people go thru this. I''m so glad to know I''m not alone.

 

[Cailet]

I think there are a bunch of us with 2006 "timelines" - so welcome to the group!!

I know it is SOOO hard to wait patiently.

Just think by the end of the year you will look back and think how fast the time went....
At least that is what I am hoping too!! Good luck!

 

[Caribou]

MEN SUCK!

I''m an EX LIW as well, got engaged in Dec. My FI and I had a discussion two days before he proposed leaving me believing that he didn''t have the ring yet. Two days later he popped the questions. Is it possible that since he mentions ''surprise'' he could be telling you little white lies? Believe me I know how hard the waiting it but, it will happen and next thing you know you''ll be married.

Men like to play these little games, especially when they know how much it drives us crazy!!!!!!

 

[cdt1101]

Don''t worry you are not alone, I''ve also been told it will be sometime in the next 3 months. But I just cannot stop obsessing. I try my best, but it seems like everyday I bring it up (even when I tell myself not to!). It''s totally crazy, what engagement does to us ladies!