Newbie Here!

[Stephny691]

Hello! I've been lurking here for ages but I wanted to actually get involved and start talking to people. I originally looked on Pricescope to do some research before I buy my mum a diamond for her 60th birthday (it's a few years away yet, but I'm a slow learner!) and then I found all of the sub-forums and then this one and realised finally girls who understand how I feel!

I'll get all the intro out of the way now. I'm Steph btw, in the UK. It's a bit of a long story so feel free to skip it if you're not in the mood for a read.
My SO and I have been together almost 7 years, his mum (SOM) has been with her fiance (SOMF) only 6 months longer than we have, so just over 7 years and they got engaged Christmas Day.

I was so overwhelmingly happy for them, but on the other hand kinda hated them a bit y'know? Just a teeny bit! It's my own fault, the longer SO and I are together the more I get my hopes up that he's closer to popping the question and then it doesn't happen and I just get so disappointed.
But now SOM and SOMF are getting married she keeps saying things like "Oh we're FINALLY getting married, it's been such a long wait, I couldn't have waited any longer." Now I love my SOM, she's actually a best friend to me and I'm lucky enough to be her MOH at the wedding, and I wouldn't want her to not talk about how happy she is, but it's like she doesn't really think about what she says sometimes.
Because SO and I are no where near getting engaged, we have a house to buy and a car that needs upgrading, we don't have disposable cash to put on a ring, let alone a wedding. So I know it's years away yet and that makes me feel so sad. I almost don't care about the engaged bit, it makes me sad that I'm so far away from marrying the man I love. Anyone know what I mean?

We're young, so it's not like we're running out of time, but every time she mentions how long it took for them to get engaged, it reminds me how much longer I'm going to be waiting myself.

Too long: didn't read.
I'm happy for everyone whose getting married but I'm sad that I'm not.

And Hi again.

 

[pandabee]

Welcome and thanks for coming out of lurkhood! How old are you and SO if you don't mind me asking? Just curious. Don't feel bummed about SOM and her FI...your time will be here before you know it! Sounds like you are taking it well though and best to focus on how excited you will be to be a part of their special day.

Otherwise, enjoy your time here! We are all in the same boat so we better understand each other's crazy moments and love of all shiny things!

 

[Stephny691]

Hi!
I'm turning 25 this year (in June) so I'm well aware that we've got time. I just had a lot of friends get engaged over the Holidays and it bummed me out a bit.
But on the upside, I get to find out how to plan a wedding (through SOM) and decide if it's something I really want.

 

[pandabee]

Yeah I turn 25 this summer so I am in the same spot as you. Also had way too many holiday engagements this year! Along with like 6 girls the year below me get engaged this school year. Glad to hear you're getting some practice wedding planning!

 

[Chewbacca]

How exciting to be a MOH! I think its really sweet that you are that close with your SO's mother!

I'm helping out with my SO's brothers wedding at the moment. I was glum about it for a day or two, but since I snapped out of it I've been SUPER excited! It has happened twice before this too, with SO's other brother, and one of my closest friends - start off sad, then have a blast. Think of it as something to refocus your energy on! For me it works as a great distraction.

Welcome to LIW! Lovely to meet you, and I hope you find great support here. You never know, things might work out a little differently and you may find yourself engaged sooner than you think!

 

[Ms_Lovely]

I know how you feel. My SO's baby brother (7 years younger) got married to a woman the same age as me ( who, btw, is mostly a witch to me) two years ago. At the wedding I kept getting the SO's family members kept asking me when we would be getting married and looking at me like I was going to fall to pieces at any moment Then, during his toast, SO decides to say, "I guess I'll be next!"

I believe that everything happens for a reason and when I'm honest with myself, I can admit that our relationship was not ready for marriage at that particular point (despite the fact we'd been together 7 years by then). To be honest, we've had a lot of growing to do as individuals and as a team and we're on a good path now--I can feel it--even though our finances and careers are not where they need to be.

You're still young, and It may not seem like t now, but you'll be glad you had the extra time to learn yourself and to grow in your relationship. Our relationship is stronger now (9 years in), than it's ever been before--not because of the time we've put in the relationship but the time we've been able to grow as individuals. We've been able to gain some perspective and learn ourselves better. I really think it's been a blessing in disguise.

It really sounds like you are cultivating the right attitude and I know you'll be okay Good luck to you! Keep us posted

 

[princesss]

Welcome!

 

[MBKRH]

Welcome! The waiting is sooooo excruciating 7 years is a long time.... hopefully you will not have to wait much longer!

 

[PhillyMcGee]

Welcome! I know how you feel, I will have been with my SO for ELEVEN YEARS next month
My best friend has recently gotten engaged after 9 years with her SO and keeps going on about how it is 'about time' in a joking way (which is of course true!) but makes me feel bad thinking well add another year and a half to that and no real idea when it will happen, and that's how I feel. Awkward. Anyway I am excited for her and as I'm going to be her bridesmaid (yay!) I have been very excited to help her with everything, it means I can indulge my wedding fantasies without looking like a crazy person! I got to go to a wedding dress shop the other week, look at rings with her (she has a temporary ring so that she can choose her own) and this weekend I get to go to the bridal expo! I am very excited about that hehe

 

[maple2012]

Welcome to the Ladies in Waiting club!!!

 

[Stephny691]

Thanks for all the lovely messages. I am SO excited for SOM wedding, it's going to be a fantastic day and I must say I am not envious of the amount of stuff there is to organise. Not envious at all!

 

[princesss]

Thanks for all the lovely messages. I am SO excited for SOM wedding, it's going to be a fantastic day and I must say I am not envious of the amount of stuff there is to organise. Not envious at all!

One of my best friends is getting married and that's exactly how I feel - so excited for her and horrified at the amount of stuff she has to coordinate. Every time BF and I talk about getting married, I say, "I know we can't elope, but can we pleeeeeeeeeeeeease keep it really, really small?