New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!!!!!

[MrsDrP]

Hello to all my fellow LIW! My name is Natalie and I'm pretty darn certain that I'm getting engaged before the end of this year! AHHH!

I picked out a diamond about 2 months ago. It's a stunning Daussi Cushion G color, VS1 clarity, approximately 1ct...GORGEOUS! It almost looks like a hybrid between an elongated cushion and an emerald cut.

I know that he special ordered a ring around September 30 and that it was supposed to take about 6 weeks to be made. Well....it's been 6 weeks today! I know it has to be in or he already has it. It is SO hard to be patient when I know it is coming. I feel like everytime we go somewhere I'm extra cautious and always thinking "is tonight THE night?" Absolutely nerve racking! I have never seen the ring...in fact, he wouldn't let me take any pictures of the diamond so I've almost forgotten what it looks like. (Almost )

Anyways, I am crossing my fingers for a Thanksgiving-Christmas proposal. I don't think he will be able to hold on to the ring for very long before giving it to me. Then again, he's always full of surprises and I know that he knows I am on the look out...so it's difficult to predict him!

If he does pop the question within the next month, I would like to have a June or July wedding. A 6-7 month engagement doesn't seem like very long, but this summer is a really great time for us to get married. He is graduating from medical school in May (I'm SO proud of him!), and will have about a month or so off before he has to start his residency. Once he starts his residency, vacations will be a rare occurance for the next 3 years. So, it makes sense to do it this summer. We can get married, go on our honeymoon, and settle into our house while he is off for that month. It's perfect! And I just can't see putting off marrying him any longer than absolutely necessary! I would have married him the first day that I met him if that was acceptable

I will post pictures of my ring under Show Me the Bling as soon as I get it....I'll title it "DAUSSI CUSHION HALO ENGAGEMENT RING" or something like that.

 

[mjertl]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

Congrats!!! SO exciting! I am also in the position where I know it's going to happen any day, and the excitement is making me giddy, so I know how you feel!
Not that it's any of my business, but I'd definitely recommend getting hitched before residency, if you can. 60-80 hour work weeks and 3 weeks of vacation a year don't leave much time for wedding planning... You want to be able to enjoy a little wedded bliss before all that starts! We're actually going to wait until my fellowship is done (after next year) to tie the knot, just because there's too much going on between now and then (plus, wedding planning would REALLY distract me from all the learning I should be doing...) (it won't hurt having a non-resident salary either, when it comes to financing a wedding!)

 

[MrsDrP]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

mjertl - I'm 100% with you on us getting married before his residency! However, I am worried that people are going to think it is too soon. Many of his friends who have gotten married or are about to get married were engaged for 1+ year(s). His brother got married about 2 years ago, and he and his wife were engaged for a year and a half! I don't want people to think we are rushing or that I'm pregnant, lol....so I'm nervous about any criticism we might get. Both of our families are catholic, so a 6 month waiting period is the absolute minimum amount of time to do the pre-marital church stuff.

Since you are in medicine, I thought I would ask you your opnions on when the best time to have children is. During his residency or after? His residency could only be 3 years, but could also be 6 if he decides to specialize. Will he have time for a family? Many of his friends have children and they seem to be doing okay. What do you think? Thanks in advance

 

[mjertl]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

mjertl - I'm 100% with you on us getting married before his residency! However, I am worried that people are going to think it is too soon. Many of his friends who have gotten married or are about to get married were engaged for 1+ year(s). His brother got married about 2 years ago, and he and his wife were engaged for a year and a half! I don't want people to think we are rushing or that I'm pregnant, lol....so I'm nervous about any criticism we might get. Both of our families are catholic, so a 6 month waiting period is the absolute minimum amount of time to do the pre-marital church stuff.

Since you are in medicine, I thought I would ask you your opnions on when the best time to have children is. During his residency or after? His residency could only be 3 years, but could also be 6 if he decides to specialize. Will he have time for a family? Many of his friends have children and they seem to be doing okay. What do you think? Thanks in advance

Who cares what other people think? It's your life. I understand wanting to take care of the church prerequisites if that's something that's important to you and your families (does it really take 6 months?! Geez...), but your families should also realize that you guys love each other, and waiting an additional 6 months probably won't change that. If I may ask, how long have you been dating? I think if you've been dating for a short period of time that might influence what SOME people think, but unless they have serious legitimate concerns about your compatibility (and compatibility is not contingent upon the amount of time you've been dating...), then it's really none of their business... I think approximately a 1 year engagement is pretty customary, so that's probably why so many of his friends have had engagements that are about that long - but that's primarily because wedding planning in a shorter period of time can be stressful. That doesn't mean you can't do it in less time.
Personally, my BF and I have "only" been dating about 10 months (9 1/2, actually, I think... I stopped keeping track when I realized it didn't really matter), and it was apparent from very early on that we were made for each other. He picked up the ring today, we leave for Hawaii on Monday, I am anticipating coming home with a ring on my finger I never used to think I'd be engaged to someone in less than a year - but it really doesn't matter. Our families are both Catholic too - mine is loud, gregarious, and of the Christmas-Easter Catholic variety; his is quiet, reserved, and go to church every weekend. My family knows an engagement is imminent (I'm very close with my parents, and he "asked permission" from my dad), whereas I think his has their suspicions, but he's not close with them so they don't talk about specifics so much. We have no intentions to get married in the church, as he was married once before and getting an annulment would be a pain in the tush. I think it will be interesting in a couple weeks to tell his parents that we're engaged, and also to eventually field questions about the whole church thing... I realize they might have their doubts (given his prior marriage, and the fact we haven't been dating "that long," and the whole church wedding thing...), but I know they like me a lot (how could they not? ), and I know I love their son, so really I don't care about much else. You shouldn't care too much what other people think either. My BF and I are planning a long engagement, and I think that will maybe ease any concerns his family might have about our shorter courtship, but the real reason for it is I'm supposed to be studying for boards etc...
As for having kids... Depends on the speciality and the specific residency program. Based on your description I'm guessing he's going into internal medicine (?) I love my residency program, but it's not super fond of it's female residents getting pregnant and taking maternity leave... Some programs are more "family friendly" than others (I'd say mine is family friendly, it's just the maternity leave thing throws a crimp in the schedule) and I think it's easier if you're the dad. My specialty doesn't have as many females as males, and none of the women in my class (including me) have gotten pregnant, but several of the men have had babies. Some specialties have (in general) more intense residencies, some less intense, and individual programs differ, but regardless, residency is a rude awakening, and it can be a stressful adjustment for couples and families. Intern year is probably not the best time to have a kid, whether you're the mother or father of it. After that it's really personal preference. Hope that helps! If you have other questions, I'm happy to give you my opinions on them, but they're only that - opinions

 

[Amys Bling]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

welcome!

 

[PA-C]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

Welcome!

 

[MrsDrP]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

To answer your question, we have been together for 8 months. I feel like our relationship has moved rather quickly from the beginning. I basically lived with him for the first 3 months of our relationship because he was living out of town to do some rotations and I wasn't driving an hour back and forth...so I just stayed with him throughout each week and would come home on weekends to get more clothes So obviously we got to know each other pretty well very early on. We've only been living in the same city since the beginning of October, and it actually took us a little while to adjust to not living together (he lives with his parents and I live with mine). I know that we are very compatible and we both adore each other's families. 8 months seems like a relatively short period of time to me....Like you, I never thought I'd be engaged to someone in less than a year either! The last gentleman I dated, I dated him for over 2 years and marriage was never even talked about. But I guess when you know, you just know....right?! I absolutely knew he was the one after the first conversation we had. We talked about DNA dependent RNA polymerase, glycolysis, albumin stores....and I knew right then and there that I had found my perfect, geeky soulmate!

And yes, he is going into Internal Medicine, but then I think he wants to do GI after that. It tacks on another 3 years before he'll make the big bucks, but he just LOVES looking at peoples colons, haha Which is fine with me, digestion is kind of my thing too, as I am a soon-to-be dietitian (YAY FIBER!!!). Maybe he'll send me his diverticulosis patients

I hope he matches with one of the 2 residency programs here in our city, or atleast one of the ones in the state. But where ever he goes, I'm going with him. And I also hope that his residency isn't too stressful, especially his intern year. I want our first year of marriage to be happy and blissful.

Anyways, I am so excited for you and your possible engagement this week! I can't wait to see your ring!!

 

[liarudd]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

Sounds exciting!!! I hope you get your ring by Christmas!!!! Youre ring sounds really pretty what kind of setting did you go for???

Be sure to post some pics once you get it

Im hoping to have a ring by the new year too so the race is on lol jk

 

[MrsDrP]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

Sounds exciting!!! I hope you get your ring by Christmas!!!! Youre ring sounds really pretty what kind of setting did you go for???

Be sure to post some pics once you get it

Im hoping to have a ring by the new year too so the race is on lol jk

My profile picture is of the setting I chose! I snapped a picture of it at the jewelry store lol. It is also made by Henri Daussi, along with my diamond. I can't wait to see the two of them together!! The diamond is very unique, I haven't seen one quite like it. It's a cushion, but it's very elongated. I was on a 3 week hunt for a perfect square cushion until I accidentally stumbled upon that one. But I'm so glad I did!

I went snooping on Saturday (shame on me, I know lol) and I found out that my ring won't be here for 2-3 more weeks I gBuess it's good that I know this so that I can stop preparing for every dinner we go to like it's "the night." I've been on pins and needles!!! I'd have my ring if it wouldbt have to be special ordered. Idk what the hold up is up there at Daussi's New York location.....taking 9 weeks to make a ring???oh well. At least I can relax for a couple weeks now, and study for all of the nutritional assessment exams I have coming up before then.

Congratulations to you and your soon-to-be engagement!!!! Maybe you won't abe to wait until New Years and you'll get it for Christmas )

 

[liarudd]

Re: New to the list, hoping for a Christmas engagement!!!!!!

sounds Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cushions are beautiful diamonds At least you dont have to worry every day or dinner is going to be the day! That s the worse

I found its great (little sneaky) by making a lot of plans with my friends and running it by my bf lol I figure if that was the day he would object!! haha Love it so smart... so just plan ahead a lot hehe

After this is all said and done we will look back and be happy we were surprised but for now it sucks!