New to the forum; can use some advice

[mrsmorse]

Hello everyone: I just joined the forum on the advice of someone on the weddingbee forums.

DH and I are in the market for a heart-shaped diamond solitaire. First I thought I would go the online route, and I ordered one from Blue Nile, only to be a bit disappointed. I did not realize that in order for a heart to really "show up," it needs to be at least .50 ct. Plus I had chosen a vintage style setting that flared widely toward the small stone, making it look smaller. ANd it was dirty. I couldn't believe no one had cleaned it before shipping it out! So I returned it.

I know a lot of people recommend James Allen but I'm a bit gun-shy re: online diamond buying now.

I decided to hit some of the local jewelry stores, and it's been disappointing and frustrating. I thought shopping for an engagement ring would be fun! First store (and so far the best) has a .61 ct. heart with F clarity, S1, and an EGL certification. It's in a rather fancy engraved setting with tiny side stones, and while they said it could easily be put in another setting. However, when I tried to find out just what the diamond itself costs, they were rather cagey about it and beat around the bush. I've been in there several times looking at this ring and I told them I wanted it. They put it aside for me. It's $2,200. I picked out three other settings (two plain Tiffany style, one twisted with tiny diamonds) but I don't know what they will cost if I reset the stone.

So...last weekend I hit four different stores. Store 1 was recommended by family members. They had a somewhat lackluster 1 ct. stone and two tiny ones, but they said (and I think this is the motto of jewelers, LOL) "we can order anything you like." I'm not a fan of shopping and I don't want to be dickering around, so I thanked them and left. It was disappointing b/c I drove a distance to get there after being told yes, they had diamond hearts in stock.

Store 2 had a manic sales woman who tried to sell me a frankly ugly, strangely elongated heart for just under $1,000. Stores 3, 4 and 5 were at the mall (shudder!). #3 had a decent .5 carat but it was $1,500 and I felt that was too much for something with crystals visible under a 10x loupe and a microscope.

Today I called Van Scoy's (small chain on the East Coast) and they are checking their stock as we speak and will call me back.

I was all set to buy the $2,200 ring, but really? I had more like $1,200 in mind when I started lookiing, and really, would prefer to stay in the $1,500 range.

So...am I being totally unrealistic here? Can a very nice heart with "personality" be found in my price range? I will go with a plain setting if it comes down to it. This is something I've wanted for over 30 years, but now I'm starting to wonder if I should just get a colored gemstone of some sort, a right-hand ring, or an anniversary band. I didn't think this was going to be stressful.


I've been told I can and should haggle, but neither DH nor I are comfortable with that sort of thing. It makes me feel cheap and sort of sleazy.

OK, long post, for which I apologize. Can anyone help or advise? Thank you for listening.

 

[E B]

Hi mrsmorse,

Have you considered a bezel setting for the heart? It'd help to really define the shape, and it doesn't have to be "modern" if that isn't your style- it can be more vintage-style with milgrain (see example below), and the bezel adds a little more size:

http://www.jewelsbygrace.com/askew-heart-shaped-diamond-bezel-pendants#.WMB5ehIrIUs

JBG makes a lot of these in pendant form, but it wouldn't hurt to ask how much it'd be to make in ring form if you like the idea.

Now that you have an idea of general size in the heart shape, at least if you go with a place like James Allen, you can see the diamond you're buying and they have a good exchange policy, worst case scenario.

 

[mrsmorse]

Hi mrsmorse,

Have you considered a bezel setting for the heart? .

No, I haven't. I'm not fond of bezels or halos. Should have mentioned that!
In the beginning, all I wanted was a heart in a plain setting. Then I saw the BN setting...it got to be like "If you give a mouse a cookie!"

 

[tyty333]

$1200 unfortunately wont get you a .5 carat and a setting. Maybe $1200 for the stone alone.

Did you see pictures of the heart shape stone from bluenile before you bought it? You can not buy fancy cut shapes without seeing
them (I like James Allen for fancy cut shapes). And you'll be lucky to find what you want in a store because they just cant keep
a large amount of stock like you can find on-line.

JA stones...(using about $1200 for stone then + setting)

https://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/heart-shaped/0.56-carat-g-color-si1-clarity-sku-798738 $1240
https://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/heart-shaped/0.54-carat-i-color-vs2-clarity-sku-2558982 $1000 smallest stone
https://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/heart-shaped/0.55-carat-h-color-vs2-clarity-sku-2582210 $1190
https://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/heart-shaped/0.56-carat-i-color-si2-clarity-sku-2582277 $900

I dropped down to SI2 and found these...you would have to ask JA if they are eye-clean
https://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/heart-shaped/0.58-carat-f-color-si2-clarity-sku-632697 $1100
https://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/heart-shaped/0.61-carat-i-color-si2-clarity-sku-772884 biggest stone $1110
https://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/heart-shaped/0.56-carat-i-color-si2-clarity-sku-2582277 $900

Possible settings...
https://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/14k-white-gold-2mm-comfort-fit-solitaire-engagement-ring-item-7086
https://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/14k-white-gold-2mm-knife-edge-solitaire-engagement-ring-item-7115
https://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/14k-white-gold-15mm-comfort-fit-engagement-ring-item-22606

Here is what about a .5ish stone looks like on a size 6 finger...

 

[mrsmorse]

No, I didn't see any pictures of the BN heart. It would have been helpful to see it in the setting at actual size; might have saved me the trouble of returning it at $40 for insurance etc.

Thank you for the James Allen links. I can see that a stone with those specs runs about $1,200 on average. Looks like my #1 jeweler is asking about $1K for the setting (more or less).

I hesitate to buy online because even with the 360 degree views, you just can't see the stone's "personality" as you would in person.

I've been told that not many jewelers stock hearts because it's just not a popular shape. I think the most popular is round, followed by princess.

Can anyone give me advice about negotiating price? Like, how to go about doing it w/o sounding desperate or cheap?

Thanks!

 

[mrsmorse]

I should add that the diamond I'm interested in is at a family-owned brick and mortar store.

 

[ac117]

Although I totally understand you hesitation about buying online since you had a bad experience with the stone from BN, it's important to keep in mind that the advantage of James Allen are the videos that you could zoom in and out and really get a feel for the stones performance. They also have 100% free returns - they cover the cost - so you wouldn't lose anything and would potentially get a much better stone/ring.

The stone you're considering is EGL certified, which is not the most reputable lab and is much softer in grading than GIA and AGS. So you think you're getting an F SI1, when in fact you're probably getting a G/H/I SI2 or lower. I'd urge you to reconsider the beautiful stones Tyty found above, which you would also get for a much better price if you choose a solitaire setting.

If you really want to get the ring at the local store, I'd flat out ask them if the price is negotiable. Or you could tell them your budget is X but you really love the ring and want to get it but ask if they could get closer to your number. Good luck!

 

[tyty333]

Do you have a picture of the kind of setting you are looking at?

$1k for a solitaire is not unheard of but with a tight budget I'd rather see you spend more on the stone and less on the setting if possible.

 

[mrsmorse]

Here are three photos.

Do you have a picture of the kind of setting you are looking at?

$1k for a solitaire is not unheard of but with a tight budget I'd rather see you spend more on the stone and less on the setting if possible.

 

[mrsmorse]

Both DH and I feel that even with the videos and the zoom, we're just finding it hard to envision the stone "in real life" and how it will look. Though I admit, with the JA return policies, it is VERY tempting.

I had heard what you said about EGL, from someone on weddingbee. Since I have not seen a lot of heart diamonds, it's difficult for me to imagine one much prettier than the one I have found (just posted a few pics). It is eye clean and has a lot of vitality.

I guess I've got nothing to lose by negotiating. I can always walk away. Since we've been married nearly 3 decades, I don't *need* the ring--we're not getting engaged!

Although I totally understand you hesitation about buying online since you had a bad experience with the stone from BN, it's important to keep in mind that the advantage of James Allen are the videos that you could zoom in and out and really get a feel for the stones performance. They also have 100% free returns - they cover the cost - so you wouldn't lose anything and would potentially get a much better stone/ring.

The stone you're considering is EGL certified, which is not the most reputable lab and is much softer in grading than GIA and AGS. So you think you're getting an F SI1, when in fact you're probably getting a G/H/I SI2 or lower. I'd urge you to reconsider the beautiful stones Tyty found above, which you would also get for a much better price if you choose a solitaire setting.

If you really want to get the ring at the local store, I'd flat out ask them if the price is negotiable. Or you could tell them your budget is X but you really love the ring and want to get it but ask if they could get closer to your number. Good luck!

 

[mrsmorse]

Re: New to the forum; can use some advice/updated

UPDATE: Well, I made my first effort at negotiation. I was scared to death but I made myself do it. And they only went down from $2,200 to $1,975. The woman on the phone (one of the store owners) kept going on about the color. Yes, it is quite nice, I agree. But I am disappointed. I did tell her that I had to talk to hubby and that it was still more than we wanted to spend.

I guess I should pat myself on the back for "doing the thing that you cannot do" to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt.

 

[mrsmorse]

If anyone else wants to jump in with advice/opinions/etc., please feel free!
We are going to another local store this afternoon to see more hearts. We don't think we've seen enough of them up close yet to make a decision.
Also, we read that with a heart shape, that's about the ONLY way to really know what it's going to be like. This shape is beginning to sound like a bit of a PITA, frankly. I'm starting to think about a heart in a colored gemstone, as well.