needless to say some proposal questions :)

[dp111]

Having made the plunge and purchased the ring, it''s time to move to phase 2 of the planning.. aka the proposal..

This post almost turned into a really long story but I think i can boil my questions down into something more manageable.

1. I''m in good with the family, and she''s very close to her mother so I''m somewhat inclined to ask permission or otherwise letting her know. The trick is that she doesn''t really speak much English. I don''t think that I can learn to say the Chinese (though if I wrote a note she could probably read it. It''s not strictly necessary to ask, but I think that it''s something that''s unexpected but would be appreciated. I also think that her mom would tell her. While it''s apparent that the proposal is coming we''re kind of acting under the mutual ruse that everything is normal. So I guess the question is something like should I try to call and ask (visiting in person isn''t an option), should I write a note stating my intentions or should I not worry about it since no one is expecting that I would ask.

2. This is the big question. Is it better to propose somewhere that is already sentimental (aka first kiss, first ''I love you'') or is it better to make a new special place?

 

[JulieN]

Most people understand a bit more of a language than they can speak it. If you have no experience with tones, she may not know what your well-intentioned jargon means.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I like sentimental places. It makes it so much more romantic!

 

[musey]

I vote for the existing sentiment, although that may be because bf and I don't have any accessible ones (all old apartments, dorms, etc.). I love to idea of the place where you first kissed, there's something very "full circle" about it. It's where you started and where your "happy ending" begins.


Disclaimer for other LIWs/Marrieds who read that: yes, I know, it's not a fairytale

 

[codex57]

1. You''ll be surprised at how much English her mom knows. I say ask, and also ask her to keep it a secret. She may not be able to, but I''d still ask cuz the politeness thing is much more important.

2. Whatever you can do. If you have someplace sentimental, great. If not, don''t sweat too much about it. KEEP IT SIMPLE! Less to go wrong that way. Unless you''re good at that elaborate stuff. Most guys aren''t tho. Now''s not the time to suddenly go all out if you normally can''t do that stuff.

 

[anchor31]

Well, FI created a new "special place" for us when he proposed, and I love it! I go take a walk in that park every time I can.

I think telling her mother is sweet too. Good luck and congrats!

 

[diamondhunter10]

1. that is a tough one I would want to know if that is prevalent that a man asks permission. I dont know if it is a Chinese tradition?
2. I am very sentimental and it you have an interesting place that you could go to, I would do that.