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needless to say some proposal questions :)

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dp111

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 29, 2006
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12
Having made the plunge and purchased the ring, it''s time to move to phase 2 of the planning.. aka the proposal..

This post almost turned into a really long story but I think i can boil my questions down into something more manageable.

1. I''m in good with the family, and she''s very close to her mother so I''m somewhat inclined to ask permission or otherwise letting her know. The trick is that she doesn''t really speak much English. I don''t think that I can learn to say the Chinese (though if I wrote a note she could probably read it. It''s not strictly necessary to ask, but I think that it''s something that''s unexpected but would be appreciated. I also think that her mom would tell her. While it''s apparent that the proposal is coming we''re kind of acting under the mutual ruse that everything is normal. So I guess the question is something like should I try to call and ask (visiting in person isn''t an option), should I write a note stating my intentions or should I not worry about it since no one is expecting that I would ask.

2. This is the big question. Is it better to propose somewhere that is already sentimental (aka first kiss, first ''I love you'') or is it better to make a new special place?
 

JulieN

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
13,321
Most people understand a bit more of a language than they can speak it. If you have no experience with tones, she may not know what your well-intentioned jargon means.
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
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20,011
I like sentimental places. It makes it so much more romantic!
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
I vote for the existing sentiment, although that may be because bf and I don't have any accessible ones (all old apartments, dorms, etc.). I love to idea of the place where you first kissed, there's something very "full circle" about it. It's where you started and where your "happy ending" begins.


Disclaimer for other LIWs/Marrieds who read that: yes, I know, it's not a fairytale
 

codex57

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 18, 2004
Messages
1,492
1. You''ll be surprised at how much English her mom knows. I say ask, and also ask her to keep it a secret. She may not be able to, but I''d still ask cuz the politeness thing is much more important.

2. Whatever you can do. If you have someplace sentimental, great. If not, don''t sweat too much about it. KEEP IT SIMPLE! Less to go wrong that way. Unless you''re good at that elaborate stuff. Most guys aren''t tho. Now''s not the time to suddenly go all out if you normally can''t do that stuff.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Well, FI created a new "special place" for us when he proposed, and I love it! I go take a walk in that park every time I can.

I think telling her mother is sweet too. Good luck and congrats!
 

diamondhunter10

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 24, 2006
Messages
106
1. that is a tough one I would want to know if that is prevalent that a man asks permission. I dont know if it is a Chinese tradition?
2. I am very sentimental and it you have an interesting place that you could go to, I would do that.
 
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