Need to think of a timeline by New Years!

[fuzzers]

#33 checking in! (Gosh, that''s getting a little high...

)

BF''s and my 5th anniversary (!!!) is coming up later this year, and we agreed to then have The Talk and discuss timelines for our future plans. Now, at first this had me so excited, but now I''m feeling a little uneasy. I can''t decide on a timeline! Right now he is finishing an internship with a company he may very well work full-time for after he gets his Bachelors this Dec. Oooor, he might not be able to get a job right away and might decide to wait out these bad economic conditions and pursue a Masters. I guess our timeline will depend on that a little...

Me, I have 4 years of grad school left, and I will be making diddly squat (if that) until I graduate. I am generally an independent person in all ways but financially. I know a lot of people would wait until they were out of school to consider getting married, but I don''t want to wait until our 9th or 10th anniversary to get married, especially since we won''t be living together until then. I''ve been getting the marriage bug extra hard lately, and it''s not about the wedding/ring etc. (will have extremely low budgets for both... bad PSer!

). He''s my soulmate, and I want to solidify "us". This recent marriage bug might well be due to LDR symptoms... I haven''t seen him for 1.5 months!

So, MY working timeline as of now is... get engaged by Dec 2010 at the earliest, and Dec 2011 at the latest. That is, if the ideal situation arises and BF gets the job he wants; we''ll find that out soon. I''m anticipating what timeline he comes up with by New Years!

My little thought-sorting rant is over... thank you for reading! Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Fuzzers

 

[4ever]

I can agree that long distance relationships can make people crave comitment. BF and I have spent alot of our relationship long distance and we always talked about "moving forward" alot more then because we missed being together. At the moment we''re living together so while I have a very mild case of LIW-itse (mostly due to my impatent nature) nether BF or I feel the same drive to race towards marrige that we used to. Once the long distance part is over you might be more content to enjoy the ride too.

I''d also wait untill dec when you know weather he''ll be doing more school or getting this job to make any timelines. Making a real timeline is too hard when there is such a big variable involved.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/15/2009 10:47:00 PM
Author:fuzzers
#33 checking in! (Gosh, that''s getting a little high...

)


BF''s and my 5th anniversary (!!!) is coming up later this year, and we agreed to then have The Talk and discuss timelines for our future plans. Now, at first this had me so excited, but now I''m feeling a little uneasy. I can''t decide on a timeline! Right now he is finishing an internship with a company he may very well work full-time for after he gets his Bachelors this Dec. Oooor, he might not be able to get a job right away and might decide to wait out these bad economic conditions and pursue a Masters. I guess our timeline will depend on that a little...


Me, I have 4 years of grad school left, and I will be making diddly squat (if that) until I graduate. I am generally an independent person in all ways but financially. I know a lot of people would wait until they were out of school to consider getting married, but I don''t want to wait until our 9th or 10th anniversary to get married, especially since we won''t be living together until then. I''ve been getting the marriage bug extra hard lately, and it''s not about the wedding/ring etc. (will have extremely low budgets for both... bad PSer!

). He''s my soulmate, and I want to solidify ''us''. This recent marriage bug might well be due to LDR symptoms... I haven''t seen him for 1.5 months!


So, MY working timeline as of now is... get engaged by Dec 2010 at the earliest, and Dec 2011 at the latest. That is, if the ideal situation arises and BF gets the job he wants; we''ll find that out soon. I''m anticipating what timeline he comes up with by New Years!


My little thought-sorting rant is over... thank you for reading! Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Fuzzers

I''m in a similiar LDR situation... him working, me in grad school (kind of)... so I understand. I would take local relationship right now and not be THAT worried about engagement, but to me, there was something about FIVE years that really hit home. I was perfectly content to let our relationship drift and develop, but after 5 yrs, to me, it became more serious business. Now, my SO and I are driving distance, so it''s not unbearable, but I need him to move here to support me if I am pursuing a PhD. I would never ask him to move for a master''s, but for 3+ years, it does not make since for us to be apart for that much more time. It depends on what you want. A lot of people get married in graduate school and are just fine. Actually, they do better academically, because they have support

. If it were me, I''d assess how I feel now. It''s bugging me now, personally, so several more years is out of the question. I need the engagement, and I am fine with a long one, but we are having our 6th anni in September, and if 7 rolls around without a ring, I''m Out! (FWIW, I didn''t want to get married until a year ago, so he gets maybe 2.25 yrs to get his act together before I loose my wits and walk.)

 

[fuzzers]

4ever - The long distance is over for the most part. We did serious long-distance for 2.5 years (500 miles to 5,000 miles), but are now living close together, just apart for the summer. My LIWitis wasn''t bad during that time, but it is now. I think it has to do with getting older, hitting milestones, and making it to 5 years!

trillionaire - I totally understand your situation, and I''m keeping my fingers crossed for you!

 

[fuzzers]

Anyone in a similar dilemma?