Hi guys, long time no see (been REAL busy). But I have an issue and need some of that excellent PS advivce! (Matatora, where are you????) Here is the sitch:
Back in January of this year, I noticed an phone number with an odd area code popping up on my boyfriends cell (we live together in 3 story townhouse, so I fetch his phone alot because I am faster on the stairs). He never answered the phone when this number appeared, ust let the voice mail get it. After two months of this person calling several times a week, and him never answering, I got suspicious and had a friend call the number. Just as I thought! His ex girlfriend. Now, back in December 05 I asked him point blank if he still talked to her, and he said no way (they broke up when he caught her cheating on him in a particularly nasty situation). I did some investigating by checking his online phone bill details and found out that he HAS been talking to her (while he is at work, only a couple times mind you, but there was talking, like 20 minutes worth). And a TON of texting back and forth. Needless to say, I was pissed!
His ex claims to be a lesbian now and has a girlfriend, but I know for a fact that she has proclaimed her everlasting love for my boyfriend on a public message board (he has never seen this, I found in my "investigation" of her) and wants him back. They had a two year relationship and broke up five months before we started dating. She is an avid party girl (and known around town for being "loose"), and he is a kind of "hometown celebrity" where I live, being an ex popular DJ and able to get into all of the good clubs as a VIP, and on this message board she continually boasts of her relationship with him and how he is still is her best friend and she gets "benefits", etc.....
Now, we don''t go out very often, as the both of us have real jobs now, so I KNOW he isn''t spending time with her. I confronted him with the phone calls only (because I didn''t want to look like the psycho investigatory nutbag that I really am by pulling out the internet stuff) and he claimed that he was just returning phonecalls and being polite to her and didn''t tell me about it because he thought it was no big deal (because he thinks so little of her). Now you guys tell me.......what kind of man feels like he needs to be polite to a woman who cheated on him? And I don''t buy the excuse he gave for not telling me, I think he might be hiding something. He swears up and down that they just talked about crap (like the fact that she just graduated from hair school) but one of the three converstations took place on a night I was out of town............
I JUST KNOW that she is trying to wheedle her way back into his life. I KNOW he isn''t cheating on me physically, but I have a problem with him lying to me about this person. He swears he will never answer the phone when she calls again, he says he understands that it looks bad and is extremely sorry for hurting my feelings. I just have a sneaking suspicion that something bad is going on. Any thoughts?
Back in January of this year, I noticed an phone number with an odd area code popping up on my boyfriends cell (we live together in 3 story townhouse, so I fetch his phone alot because I am faster on the stairs). He never answered the phone when this number appeared, ust let the voice mail get it. After two months of this person calling several times a week, and him never answering, I got suspicious and had a friend call the number. Just as I thought! His ex girlfriend. Now, back in December 05 I asked him point blank if he still talked to her, and he said no way (they broke up when he caught her cheating on him in a particularly nasty situation). I did some investigating by checking his online phone bill details and found out that he HAS been talking to her (while he is at work, only a couple times mind you, but there was talking, like 20 minutes worth). And a TON of texting back and forth. Needless to say, I was pissed!
His ex claims to be a lesbian now and has a girlfriend, but I know for a fact that she has proclaimed her everlasting love for my boyfriend on a public message board (he has never seen this, I found in my "investigation" of her) and wants him back. They had a two year relationship and broke up five months before we started dating. She is an avid party girl (and known around town for being "loose"), and he is a kind of "hometown celebrity" where I live, being an ex popular DJ and able to get into all of the good clubs as a VIP, and on this message board she continually boasts of her relationship with him and how he is still is her best friend and she gets "benefits", etc.....
Now, we don''t go out very often, as the both of us have real jobs now, so I KNOW he isn''t spending time with her. I confronted him with the phone calls only (because I didn''t want to look like the psycho investigatory nutbag that I really am by pulling out the internet stuff) and he claimed that he was just returning phonecalls and being polite to her and didn''t tell me about it because he thought it was no big deal (because he thinks so little of her). Now you guys tell me.......what kind of man feels like he needs to be polite to a woman who cheated on him? And I don''t buy the excuse he gave for not telling me, I think he might be hiding something. He swears up and down that they just talked about crap (like the fact that she just graduated from hair school) but one of the three converstations took place on a night I was out of town............
I JUST KNOW that she is trying to wheedle her way back into his life. I KNOW he isn''t cheating on me physically, but I have a problem with him lying to me about this person. He swears he will never answer the phone when she calls again, he says he understands that it looks bad and is extremely sorry for hurting my feelings. I just have a sneaking suspicion that something bad is going on. Any thoughts?