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Need help writing STD poem!

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shigidigi

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OK, so all of you ladies are so creative and I read as each one of you has done something incredibly unique while planning each of your weddings.

So, I have ordered STD magnets from Vistaprint and I am including a card in the envelope that gives a lot of important information for people as it is a destination wedding (of sorts!). I also wanted to have a cute poem underneath the magnet (attached to the top of the card) before the information.

I need help making this a cute but short poem!

Here is my background (this will help you understand the poem- and if the poem doesnt make sense I want to know that too!):
FI and I (before we were engaged) lived in FL where our families live. We come from very southern backgrounds- no yankees in our lineage for quite a while!

Anyway, we moved to San Francisco over a year ago for my job and now we hardly see our families and so when FI proposed we decided to do a wedding in Asheville, NC because we have family in FL, VA and NC and so it was actually quite centrally located and we love the mountains. So although it is more of a destination for us than for others, it will still require some advanced planning.

Here is what I have for the poem so far but I can tell it needs tweaking- what do you think?

We fell in love and moved away,
And finally has come the day.
California would lend a beautiful setting,
but we''d gladly trade San Fran
for an ol'' southern wedding!

Is that too corny?? Help!

(and thanks for enduring this ridiculously long post!) I''ve attached the STD (it took forever in photoshop to make the damned bridge red!)

small final std.JPG
 

Mandarine

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I love that picture!!!!!!! You guys look great and you look just so happy!!!!!...It''s a great picture!!!!!!!!

I don''t think the poem is to corny, I think it''s cute!

M~
 

laine

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Feb 21, 2006
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I think its cute. I might change the last line to "for a good ol'' southern wedding" It seems to flow a bit better with an extra syllable in there.

And I think the picture is great--I like the bridge, its subtle, but a great touch.
 

shigidigi

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Thanks Mandarine!

and thanks Laine- that is a great idea!
 

AceP

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just a thought:

We built new lives on the West Coast
but the South still suits us both
So as we approach our special day
We''re doing it the Southern way!
 

shigidigi

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AceP I love it!!
 

Harleigh

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Shigidigi...your STD''s are adorable! I love the GG in the background!

Can''t wait to see what you end up with! Your picture is adorable!

AceP...can you please write a poem for my STD''s??? How to say, um, gosh, that FI''s family is simply too large, we can''t invite the entire fire dept or my school staff, so off to Maui we go...but hey, you can all join us for a reception back in CA when we get back??? I am having the worst time trying not to offend anyone! Arghh!
 

AceP

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sure, harleigh... how about:

To the family and friends we hold so dear,
our wedding day is drawing near.
We''ll say "I do" alone with sand and sun,
But when we return to Cali, please join in the fun!

didn''t think i''d really do it, did you?
 

Stephanie

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That''s quite a talent there Ace!
 

AceP

Shiny_Rock
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well, i guess if all else fails, a career at Hallmark beckons!
 

Harleigh

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Date: 8/24/2007 8:38:08 AM
Author: AceP
sure, harleigh... how about:

To the family and friends we hold so dear,
our wedding day is drawing near.
We''ll say ''I do'' alone with sand and sun,
But when we return to Cali, please join in the fun!

didn''t think i''d really do it, did you?
Oh my gosh, Ace, you are one of a kind! Thank you!
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I love it! You really do have a talent and I am so impressed!

I can''t wait to show it to my FI and see what he thinks!

I think we''d better set up a payment plan for your services!
 

AceP

Shiny_Rock
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harleigh, consider this one a freebie!
 

shigidigi

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Thanks Harleigh and AceP- you really do have a talent! I heard Hallmark pays pretty decent too
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AceP

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i''m slightly embarrassed to admit that in high school i once wrote an entire AP english paper in iambic pentameter. but that was many years ago, so my skills are pretty rusty...
 

Harleigh

Ideal_Rock
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Okay, Ace...now half of the 300+ family members plan to join us for the wedding in Hawaii, so I''m gonna need some help with that! Feel up to it? Should I have a poem for those who ARE coming to HI and one for those who AREN''T? I figure you''re the girl to ask...
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This wedding planning stuff is a lot harder than I thought it would be!!!
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