need help with a dress ... i''m super confused

[calidaisy]

hi everyone!

this is my first post (after lurking for months) ... and i don't even know where to start, so please bear with me even if i don't make alll that sense.

see, i've been shopping and shopping for a dress and here are all my options.

1. romona keveza ball gown dress from 2006 (picture below). it's $2200 new and $1100 if i take the store sample (which seem to be in an excellent condition). i love the simple elegance and the lightness of the dress but wonder if it's TOO simple.

2. melissa sweet/ vineyard collection's "maeve" i tried on at a trunk sale last weekend. it's $2400 (with possible 10% off). i didn't like it in the beginning (as i went to try on the "dora" after seeing so many beautiful pictures from this site ... only to realize dora is NOT for me) ... but "maeve" or the ball gown style flatters my figure (or lack of) the most. i'm thinking of taking the bow out and adding a spaghetti strap.

http://www.priscillaofboston.com/dress_detail.jsp?gid=610&sfid=50695&f=


3. i found a dress shop that will MAKE a dress for me in a style i want for $1600 (the price includes renting me accessories such as veil and what-not). the only caveat (? or maybe not) is that i have to RETURN the dress after the wedding is over and it is theirs to keep. i guess another fear i have with this place is even though it is recommended by a friend ... i don't know if i can trust them enough to produce a beautiful dress.


i have appointments with different dress shops tomorrow and friday. i might also check out the sample sale in costa mesa someone posted here (thanks!) ... but i'm so confused as to:

(1) how much i should spend (i know this is a personal issue and i do not have a limit because my mom is obsessed that i look "nice" at my wedding ... but i feel like as a matter of principle, i should not spend let's say more than a month's rent on something i will only be wearing for a day);

(2) whether it matters at the end of the day that i get to keep my dress vs. give it back to someone; and

(3) of course, which option from the three given above should i explore more.

as for me/ the wedding, it's in september (200. i'm having a morning wedding at a small chapel and lunch/ afternoon reception at a spanish style villa. both have the views of the ocean. also, i'm a small asian woman (less than 5'2"/ 100 lbs).

what do you guys think? anything you guys say would help a LOT. thanks!

 

[Missrocks]

Well, I really love the Romona Keveza's. I ended up ordering on of her gowns last weekend. The fabrics are beautiful, the styles are classic. And as far as simple goes- well, I ended up going a lot simpler than I originally thought I would. But, I think these simpler styles will let your beauty show through and not be over powered. I was looking at much more complicated dresses to begin with, but then I was thinking, I feel that one of my best features is my face- and I want people to look at "me", not just the dress. -Know what I mean? Especially since it sounds like you are pretty small.

And as far as what is too much to spend...that is personal. I spent more than I originally wanted too. But less than I was thinking of spending at one point. I rationalized it by saying, if I really "need" the money back after the wedding is done, I can probably get a decent amount for the dress on preownedweddingdresses.com.

Of the ones posted, I like the bottom Romona best. But I think you should keep looking until you find one you are absolutely thrilled about. And it doesn't sound like any of these get you too excited.

 

[calidaisy]

thanks missrocks! i''m just confused ... to the point where i don''t even know what''s important anymore.

and the pressure is increasing by the day ... knowing i need to decide within next two weeks at the latest to avoid rush fee and stuff.

 

[FrekeChild]

I love the RK. I think it's gorgeous. But "minimalism" is practically my middle name, so take that with a grain of salt...

And I think it's a total rip off for them to make the dress but then THEY keep it?

I say, buy the dress you love and sell it on Ebay or one of the other sites if you want to get rid of it and/or make some of the money back...

 

[justwondering]

Definitely don''t go with the tailor that keeps your dress. I know many of us become attached to our dresses, and want to keep them, so you might want this option. Either way, can you imagine paying 1600 for a one-day dress rental??

And, I love the RK--but, I''m a fan of simple also!

 

[calidaisy]

thanks frekechild and justwondering.

yeah ... i don''t know how attached i''ll be to my dress after the wedding (or even before) considering how much time, energy, and money i spent on it.

would it be better to buy a brand "new" dress or take the store sample which is in excellent condition for half the price?

 

[FrekeChild]

Store sample. Get it dry cleaned and fitted and it''s as good as new. And then you can sell it for probably only a small loss. Is the sample a decent size for you? You sound like you''d be a 0 or so...

 

[EricaR]

That RK is to die for! I am a big fan of KISS (Keep it simple, Stupid!) and I think that a simple dress really sets off an elaborate hairstyle or bouquet.

 

[justwondering]

I would totally do the store sample if its near your size. I am also very small (5''2"), and none of the sample sizes available were anywhere close to the 2 I needed. That made the (expensive) decision for me

 

[calidaisy]

i think the store sample is wedding gown size 10 and i'm a street size 0. however, because i have a thick waist, the salesperson said that the store size is not too far off from what i'd be ordering "brand new." she also said i shouldn't "dry clean" the dress because it may get ruined, and only "steam" something. the fabric is "silk shantung taffetta." does anyone know why she said that? does silk dresses get damaged by "dry" cleaning?

 

[bee*]

I think that the RK is beautiful! Absolutely stunning. Stay away from that place that charge you $1600 but they get the dress back! Seriously, rip off!! In terms of price, whatever you''re comfortable with. I''m trying to keep mine under €1000 which is just over $1500. If I can get it for less, that would be great. I''m going to keep my dress afterwards-I can never bear to give anything away.

 

[allycat0303]

I like the one in the picture Romana...Honestly, I am pretty minamalist too. BUt I have thought about the whole ''''too simple'''' thing. MY mom saw some of the dresses I liked, and said they didn''t look like wedding dresses. I haven''t figured out that whole dilemna yet either. Honestly, I can''t imagine why you have to pay if they get the dress back. That kind of irks me. So to me, you pay about 1800$ to model their dress for them at the most important day of your life. I would just rent the dress if it came to that. I don''t think it is a fair deal to you.

As for price, that''s hard to. I kind of feel like even if you CAN afford a really expensive dress, it''s something you will only wear for one day. So persoanlly I feel bad spending a lot. If it was something I was going to wear for the rest of my life, I am so much more willing to pay more. But at the same time, you are only doing it once in your life! Honestly, it sounds to me as though the dresses you are looking at, are reasonable, and if you can afford it, then go ahead. I guess it comes down to what dress really speaks to you. I think if I found a dress that screamed at me ''''it MUST be me'''' I would probably be willing to pay more. BUt if I don''t find *THE dress* and there is a cheaper alternative, I might be willing to go with less expensive.

 

[CJ2008]

calidaisy, I love the RK dress. I think it''s gorgeous. But, I too, like simple. I feel the same way as Allycat...I didn''t want to spend a lot on my dress, at all...I didn''t want to spend anything over $600, and even that I thought was too much. I ended up finding a dress for half the price, which I am very happy about. I might keep the dress for a while, but then I am SURE I will give it away or sell it (bee*, I''m your opposite -- I try to get rid of stuff all the time! I''m ruthless!)

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Go with the RK. I am in no way a minimalist, but I am your size and the second dress you posted would swallow you up; it would be wearing you rather than the other way around.

Since you think the size is pretty good, I would go with the store sample. Not only is it cheaper but you don''t have to stress about ordering a gown and it being late.

 

[miraclesrule]

I am definately leaning toward the KISS philosophy as the most prudent. It allows so much flexibility for everything else involved. Our dress is so ornate that we can''t get a theme going, or bouquets, or veil, due to the complexity of the dress.
These girls are very wise.

 

[calidaisy]

thanks, everyone!
i wish i could take a picture of me wearing the RK gown so that i can ask for better advice as to how the gown looks on me.

 

[diamondfan]

I love the sample idea if you examined the dress really well. But a ten to a two seems huge and not logical to me.

I would call the most expensive dry cleaners/wedding dress preservers in your town and ask.

SOMETIMES dry cleaning solution can dinge or tinge the white and or leave yellow marks. I think it is triclorethyline or something like that, I know my hubby tells the cleaners to change the solution a lot because some of his white shirts were yellowing under the arms after cleaning.

I would also, if you have one, bring your own tailor in to look at it. I think going down that many sizes is just too much, but an expert could tell if the line of the dress would changed by that much alteration.

 

[Gypsy]

I don''t think you''ve found the right one for you yet. That''s what it sounds like to me. It sounds like you are being practical about the RK, talking yourself into the MS, and being frugal about the custom dress (and why on earth would you pay 1600 and not OWN the dress afterward? I don''t get that).

I think you should keep looking.

And I think it would be helpful for us, in helping you, to see you in the dresses you are chosing from.