NEED HELP W/ CHRISTMAS PROPOSAL

[enyouartist]

My girlfriend and I are driving from Boston to MN for the holidays. We probably won't be getting in until Christmas Eve, and I thought it would be a good idea to propose during that time. I need some ideas! I believe she suspects its coming, as we have talked about it.

Also, this is my 2nd marriage. My first one ended in 9 months. I had to pay her back for the ring,essentially buying it twice.
My new girlfriend/soon to be fiance knows about this, and at first said that she didn't want the same ring. But I told her that I had searched extensively for the perfect ring and diamond(thanks to pricescope) and explained that the diamond is ideal in everyway(WF Hearts and Arrows) and also the setting is unique. She agreed, as long as I put an engraving on the ring for her.

Do you think that she is just saying that, or do you think she really doesn't mind? I really didn't want a generic one, and don't really have the money to buy a new setting. Any proposal ideas please? Thanks.

 

[Agent P]

I imagine you will be taking I-90. How about a quick stop for a proposal in front of Niagara Falls?

 

[amc80]

Do you think that she is just saying that, or do you think she really doesn't mind? I really didn't want a generic one, and don't really have the money to buy a new setting. Any proposal ideas please? Thanks.

Yes, she is just saying that. Using the same diamond is one thing, but the exact same ring? No girl wants that, I promise. You bought that ring for someone else, which someone else in mind. I would honestly rather have no ring than a ring you used to be married to another person.

Take the diamond out of the setting and sell the scrap metal to a jeweler...and then use that to buy a new setting, even if it's just a solitaire. And nothing is generic about a solitaire, they are classic and beautiful.

As far as the proposal goes- I don't know the area at all. But it would be really cool if you could either do it the night before you leave, the morning of, or along the way. That way you guys arrive as an engaged couple. It would be very sweet. Maybe you could get her breakfast in bed? It would probably be a double surprise since, generally, mornings before long trips are super hectic.

 

[Agent P]

I agree with resetting the diamond. You don't want her to be thinking about your ex in the back of her mind everytime she looks at the ring. Resetting it will make it unique to her.

 

[FuturePsyD]

Do you think that she is just saying that, or do you think she really doesn't mind? I really didn't want a generic one, and don't really have the money to buy a new setting. Any proposal ideas please? Thanks.

Yes, she is just saying that. Using the same diamond is one thing, but the exact same ring? No girl wants that, I promise. You bought that ring for someone else, which someone else in mind. I would honestly rather have no ring than a ring you used to be married to another person.

Take the diamond out of the setting and sell the scrap metal to a jeweler...and then use that to buy a new setting, even if it's just a solitaire. And nothing is generic about a solitaire, they are classic and beautiful.

As far as the proposal goes- I don't know the area at all. But it would be really cool if you could either do it the night before you leave, the morning of, or along the way. That way you guys arrive as an engaged couple. It would be very sweet. Maybe you could get her breakfast in bed? It would probably be a double surprise since, generally, mornings before long trips are super hectic.

COMPLETELY AGREE! Sorry, but that would be extremely strange to wear the ring that my fiance put on another woman's finger! Just not a good image to have every time you look down at the ring that was supposed to be meant for you. If you can't afford a different setting, maybe it's best to wait? I personally don't know any girl who would be ok with taking another woman's hand me down ring. I'd rather wait or have a simple band as long as it was picked out by my fiance with ME in mind!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[enyouartist]

Thank you for the candid opinions. I guess I need to buy a new setting. Should I buy a new diamond as well? I can probably trade up, since I purchased a Hearts and Arrows diamond from Whiteflash. I also have 2 HA earrings from them. Perhaps they'll let me trade all three back for another one?

 

[enyouartist]

I just asked Whiteflash. They won't allow me to trade the diamond AND the earrings for an upgrade. Only 1 for 1

Should I use the 3 stones to make a 3 stone engagement ring? From what I remember, I thought the ACA earings looked slightly brighter in color than the ACA centerstone, even though all 3 were certified as "G color".

Any thoughts? Or should I just save the money, and get a new setting?

 

[danners84]

What is your future FI's style? Would a 3-stone suit her tastes?

If your budget is tight I don't think that trading up with WF would benefit you - you would have to put in a ~2k more just to get the same size/color stone you have now, not including a setting. From what I understand on their site, they credit you with the price you paid when you purchased the stone. BGD, if I am understanding correctly, will credit you with current market price for the stone if it is an ACA and meets a few other requirements. Scroll down to Policies and Special Programs http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/home/need-help-faq/.

Also, will WF take the studs as a trade in towards a setting? I would also check with BGD on this.

 

[amc80]

Thank you for the candid opinions. I guess I need to buy a new setting. Should I buy a new diamond as well? I can probably trade up, since I purchased a Hearts and Arrows diamond from Whiteflash. I also have 2 HA earrings from them. Perhaps they'll let me trade all three back for another one?

Using the same diamond wouldn't bother me, assuming it's a nice diamond and something she would pick.

 

[slg47]

I would get what SHE wants. not trying to be harsh but it sounds like you didn't really consider what she likes because you already had the "perfect ring". She might not even like a round diamond or the setting you chose previously!

 

[nr00]

I think that if she is telling you it's ok then she should be telling you the absolute truth... I think if she didn't say anything about if it's ok to use the same ring, I would assume she may not like that idea. But she told you it's ok.
I know the diamond itself is the most expensive part of it and wonder if you could get another setting in time? I know Christmas is a really important and special time to be engaged by (rather than right after) because you'll be with family all during that time and will want to celebrate with them!
I think the engraving is a really good thing to do if you end up absolutely settling on the same ring.

 

[wedge]

Late to the party, but I agree... have the diamond reset. Yes, it'll cost you... but she's worth it! Best of luck with the holiday proposal planning!

 

[enyouartist]

Yes, I took everyone's opinion into consideration and decided to go with the audience, buy a new setting, and suck it up.
Thank you to everyone that replied.

 

[manderz]

I imagine you will be taking I-90. How about a quick stop for a proposal in front of Niagara Falls?

Fi and I went up there foe a couple days one year in early December, and it was FREEZING!! Plus, the mist from the falls made the entire area one huge sheet of ice. It's very beautiful, but will be uncomfortable. There is a botanical garden in Buffalo, which is in the same area.

http://www.buffalogardens.com/