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Need help to lose weight, deal with my mother and not let it get to me!

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DonaBella

Brilliant_Rock
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Jun 11, 2005
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I really need to get back on track to losing weight and getting where I need to be. The last few months of my son getting married, problems with them, other concerns taking up my time, etc., I have allowed those demands to chew up my time and attentions away from properly taking care of me.

Getting to bed too late in our home has only added to all of this. I have an immunity disorder and migraines to deal with and know for a fact that getting to bed earlier and getting to the gym more would be of great benefit. It is very tough though. My family is always going to bed too late and it is a struggle for me to rest while the house is still buzzing. My hubby, who also wants to lose weight, is almost the last to go to bed. I beg him and any of the young adults to keep the tv off but sometimes it goes back on. I can hear it in my room which is directly above the family room...not fun for me.

My mother is driving all of us---my entire family, my father, my siblings and extended family--crazy. She has always been somewhat cantankerous with her personality at times. Now, with her health dissinergrating with her eyesight, her stomach, etc., not to mention her dementia, it is impossible for anyone, especially my dad, to do anything right. We went to be with family for the Christmas in another state and as the days passed and other family came to visit, her house became quite full and crowded. With every person using a plastic cup, spoon or fork, she was telling them to not put these disposable items in the trash, but in the sink to save them. Fine, whatever. It did drive us all nuts collecting the plasticware but whatever. Then our younger daughter got avalanched with inquiries from my mother.

My mom bombarded her with questions about my weight, asking her what was wrong with me, telling her how awful I looked and how embarrassing it was for her to have me there. My daughter was stunned, hurt, embarrassed to be put in such an awkward position and just downright upset with her grandmother, my mom. Yes, do to stress, not enough exercise, new meds for my health and not enough sleep, I am about 25 lbs overweight. I freely and truthfully admit that. But I have a plan to get rid of that and get looking and feeling better. This trip was huge to plan, to coordinate and to execute. I had not been back in my home state with family for over 5 years and I made it happen. I tried my damnest to be the doting daughter, patience galore and used every bit of event planning I could to assist my folks with the food and activities for the time we were there. Now this from my mom? Oh and my elderly aunt just had to tell me in front of my extended cousins, their families and my dear friends how fat I had become and how I used to care. No, I don''t think I want to plan any more trips to see folks there any time soon.

I am not trying to be overly sensitive. It took alot to schedule adult children to be with us. Some flew out for the two days of Christmas Eve and Christmas and flew back. My younger daughter even got stuck in the airport trying to leave to go back home but had problems with her flight. Instead of calling my dad to come take her back to their house, she preferred staying at the airport because of my mother. I don''t know how to broach this with my parents, especially my dad. My poor dad has lot of crap to deal with and chooses to with my mother. I don''t. I also do not want to talk to my mother.

Any ideas any of you have on these issues would be received with great appreciation...thanks in advance. Hope all of you had a lovely time for Christmas. Seeing extended family and seeing my brothers and their families was the best. The rest...not so much...
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
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deanna, don''t really have suggestions on how to deal with your mom...but regarding wanting to be more healthy and lose a bit of weight...you should join the weekly workout thread in FHH...we talk about healthy lifestyle eating...what is working, what isn''t...what workouts or training we are doing etc. every level is welcome, even if you are just starting out. also many of us find it pretty motivational to check in there at least once a day...and to see what other people are doing. hope to see you there!!
 

Lorelei

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
42,064
Date: 12/28/2006 1:58:21 PM
Author: Mara
deanna, don't really have suggestions on how to deal with your mom...but regarding wanting to be more healthy and lose a bit of weight...you should join the weekly workout thread in FHH...we talk about healthy lifestyle eating...what is working, what isn't...what workouts or training we are doing etc. every level is welcome, even if you are just starting out. also many of us find it pretty motivational to check in there at least once a day...and to see what other people are doing. hope to see you there!!
Ditto Mara Deanna - please check out the thread, you will find lots of help and motivation there, the first step is the hardest and you can do it! The thread really helps so much - give it a try.
 
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