Need dust please: likely malignant mass found in dad's stomach

[fiona00004]

Still waiting for biopsy results and consult with oncologist.

But I have never dealt with a closed loved one with cancer. This is all so new to me. He is 74. He had a quintuple bypass almost 10 years ago. He had always been healthy. Always eating home cooked healthy Chinese meals. No junk food, no deep fried stuff, no smoking, low alcohol consumption. Competitive tennis player training at least 6 hours a week, always been underweight....so these health setbacks always take us by surprise.

How to deal with emotions? I am a mess this morning

..I have the day, off, went jogging, but the tears have been flowing..

 

[lulu_ma]

@fiona00004 I'm so sorry to hear this. I have been through this with both of my parents. It's never easy.

Can you go to the doctor's appointments with your dad? It always makes me feel better to go with my parents and take notes so I know exactly what is going on.

 

[fiona00004]

@fiona00004 I'm so sorry to hear this. I have been through this with both of my parents. It's never easy.

Can you go to the doctor's appointments with your dad? It always makes me feel better to go with my parents and take notes so I know exactly what is going on.

Yes, I plan to be there for his appointments, I wouldn't miss it for sure! . Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[tyty333]

Sending dust for your Dad...I'm sorry to hear about this @fiona00004 . I agree with going to his appointments. I've seen the elderly not
know enough to ask all the right questions. YMMV depending on your Dad but if you're there at least you can do all the research,
get all your questions answered, and make sure he gets the best care available.

 

[lala646]

Hoping for the best for your dad, @fiona00004. Both of my parents have had cancer diagnoses, but both were very lucky and their cancers (lung, and prostate) were treatable by surgical means. Unfortunately, my sister has now been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, so she's looking at a long (hopefully) road ahead, but with no happy ending. My DH also lost his father to aggressive colon cancer, so feel free to adopt the slogan we use in our house:
F*CK CANCER!

 

[fiona00004]

Hoping for the best for your dad, @fiona00004. Both of my parents have had cancer diagnoses, but both were very lucky and their cancers (lung, and prostate) were treatable by surgical means. Unfortunately, my sister has now been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, so she's looking at a long (hopefully) road ahead, but with no happy ending. My DH also lost his father to aggressive colon cancer, so feel free to adopt the slogan we use in our house:
F*CK CANCER!

Omg. So sorry about your sister!! F*ck cancer is right!

How is your sister and the rest of your family handling it emotionally? I think waiting for biopsy results is nerve racking.

 

[lala646]

Omg. So sorry about your sister!! F*ck cancer is right!

How is your sister and the rest of your family handling it emotionally? I think waiting for biopsy results is nerve racking.

Every waiting period feels like a million years, and my sister will be the first to tell you it's a total mind f*ck.

They initially diagnosed her in December as stage 1 after the mammo, then upgraded her to stage 2 after the biopsy in March, then found it in her lymph nodes after the lumpectomy in April, then when they did a full body scan in May they found it in her sternum as well. So it was a multi-month rollercoaster that just kept getting worse. It's been really hard for all of us to wrap our heads around, because she otherwise feels and looks completely healthy! She started on a GLP-1, started eating healthier and really upped her water intake, and has lost significant weight, and she will tell you she's not felt this good in years. So it really is a disconnect having a terminal diagnosis. She's lucky to be taking some of the brand new medications that are proving to extend life expectancy, so we're trying to stay cautiously optimistic. Our hope is she's with us for many more years, since she's only 51, but the prognosis at 5 years is only around 30%.

 

[dk168]

Sending dust!

DK

 

[pearlsngems]

Sending a hug and some prayers....
Waiting is very hard.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Still waiting for biopsy results and consult with oncologist.

But I have never dealt with a closed loved one with cancer. This is all so new to me. He is 74. He had a quintuple bypass almost 10 years ago. He had always been healthy. Always eating home cooked healthy Chinese meals. No junk food, no deep fried stuff, no smoking, low alcohol consumption. Competitive tennis player training at least 6 hours a week, always been underweight....so these health setbacks always take us by surprise.

How to deal with emotions? I am a mess this morning

..I have the day, off, went jogging, but the tears have been flowing..

im so sorry about your dad
sometimes it doesnt matter how healthy people seem, its just the lack of the draw
my dad was 50, built like a greyhound
and i didnt cope at all but i just had to carry on
i know its pretty near impossible but try to remain calm for Dad' s sake till you meet with the oncoologist, modern medicine is progressing all the time

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Every waiting period feels like a million years, and my sister will be the first to tell you it's a total mind f*ck.

They initially diagnosed her in December as stage 1 after the mammo, then upgraded her to stage 2 after the biopsy in March, then found it in her lymph nodes after the lumpectomy in April, then when they did a full body scan in May they found it in her sternum as well. So it was a multi-month rollercoaster that just kept getting worse. It's been really hard for all of us to wrap our heads around, because she otherwise feels and looks completely healthy! She started on a GLP-1, started eating healthier and really upped her water intake, and has lost significant weight, and she will tell you she's not felt this good in years. So it really is a disconnect having a terminal diagnosis. She's lucky to be taking some of the brand new medications that are proving to extend life expectancy, so we're trying to stay cautiously optimistic. Our hope is she's with us for many more years, since she's only 51, but the prognosis at 5 years is only around 30%.

i think we all need a group hug

 

[springerspaniel]

@fiona00004 I agree that going to your father's appointments will be so helpful, both to you and him. My 89 yo father just got diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer, and he is having a really difficult time. As his doctor told us, "Think about how you want to make the most out of whatever time you (and each of us as well!!) has left." I pray that your father gets good news from the biopsies. He is very fortunate to have you as his daughter!

 

[lala646]

i think we all need a group hug

Agreed, and gladly accepted, Daisy!

 

[Karl_K]

Prayers outgoing!!

 

[Pumpkin Sparkles]

I am so sorry, prayers for strength, healing and comfort for all of those in your family.

 

[newtojewels]

I'm so sorry.

I saw this today and also just found out that my father has an abdominal mass as well. Hopefully they'll both be in the lucky group. I'm sending lots of positive energy your way.

 

[rcjtraveler]

Sending positive thoughts and prayers.

 

[plad25]

To add one on what others have also said, go to the appointments and take notes. I think one of the best things you can do, in addition to being their as a daughter, is to be there for him as a patient advocate. Pay attention, ask questions, and follow up when you need to. Its a complicated, physical, and emotional journey so having somebody else keep tabs and be organized with his well-being the utmost priority is important.

I'm sorry and will be thinking of you and your family.

 

[fiona00004]

Awww. Thank you all for the lovely support and kind words. . Sharing here on the forum is very helpful . I am sending you a hug as well and also dust to those needing it for their loved ones who are also going through tough times.

 

[diamondringlover]

prayers out going...we are currently waiting on biopsy results on my hubby for possible prostate cancer....so I understand your concern

 

[Arcadian]

Lot of prayers and healing dust!

 

[monarch64]

So sorry. After losing my dad a couple years ago, threads like this choke me up and it takes me a few days to get around to replying.

I can tell you this: everything will be chaos, and someday it won’t. None of it is easy, whether it’s the chaos or the peace.

 

[fiona00004]

Nope, not good news. Biopsy results came in. Surgeon days he has a very aggressive type of cancer, it's all over his stomach and found its way to the liver. There may be other mets elsewhere but regarless, he will be treated with chemo immunotherapy and probably targeted therapy as well.

IF he responds well to treatment, he may have a few years left. What those years will look like, I do not know. Repetitive doctors appointments and therapy treatment for the rest of his life? What kind of quality of life is possible? He can't eat much anymore cuz of the cancer taking over the stomach. Will that change?

It's very upsetting and it's so hard to see my active, healthy dad get taken down by this cancer and now have a looming deadline to life.

Emotionally all over the place and there's just no time to sit and process everything.

 

[newtojewels]

I am so so so sorry. There's obviously nothing else I can say.

 

[tyty333]

I'm so sorry too @fiona00004 . This is awful news.

 

[MissGotRocks]

So terribly sorry. I wish the best for your father in terms of treatment and results. These things are so hard to process; many of us have been there. Just try to take each day as it comes and not get too far ahead of yourself. That is when the panic can set in and you need your wits about you as you and your family navigate this situation. Big hugs to you and know that we are here to listen whenever you need.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I’m hoping your dad and family find peace and have time for lots of love during this phase of his life. I will hold you in my thoughts.

 

[nala]

I am so sorry. May you find the strength and courage to endure this stage.

 

[lulu_ma]

I'm so sorry Fiona! Praying that the immunotherapy works.

 

[Dandi]

Oh Fiona, I am so, so sorry. Sending you and your dad lots of love.