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random_thought

random_thought

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2010
Messages
1,065
My boss is a complete d-bag. Some of you know that. He is so mean to me that I'm trying so hard not to cry at work today. I've been trying to find another job for months but haven't had any luck. My work is starting to invade my personal life. I spend all my time wondering if I've done something wrong to upset anybody at work or what have I done that was so bad for him to think he needs to make me feel this way. My husband hates him as well, so much to the point where he refuses to come anywhere near the office I work at. I'm so depressed. I've had clinical depression before and I don't want to go back to that. I can't quit because my family needs the money. I feel like I am stuck in a corner where I have no choice but to take his demeaning attitude and degrading insults. There is no HR to go to. It's a small company and I'm hired as a private contractor. What can I do? I'll take any advice, anything has to be better than this.
 
If you can't quit and it is making you miserable, get more aggressive and find another contract immediately.

I have flat out quit jobs previously where it was so untenable, giving 2 weeks notice and starting an aggressive job hunt immediately. My previous situ was at a small company, no real HR, horrible boss who would scream at me. Ridiculous.

Only you know how bad it really is. I hate staying in crap situations for money...have you examined ALL possibilities in terms of cutting your expenses, costs etc so you would not have to stay?
 
RT - Have you tried talking to your boss? Perhaps you going to him and calmly explaining how he is making you feel might make a difference? If not then I would continue hunting for another job, and kill em with kindness girl!!!
 
Your post is not very descriptive. If you feel comfortable sharing, what exactly is it that your boss is doing to you to make you feel so badly? It seems you really have to stick it out until something else comes up, but I'm wondering if there isn't a workable solution for your remaining time there.
 
It ranges from being called an idiot to him telling me That's not what I told you to do (about EVERYTHING). He uses that line on everyone. Then when I am able to prove that it is in fact what he told me to do and that I did it right, then I get in trouble for talking back. He constantly is throwing things, slamming desks, and yelling at everyone. Like having tantrums like a 3 year old. He is always muttering at his desk about how retarded everyone is and how dumb they are. He is very arrogant and egotistical and absolutely has an anger management issue. I'm at the point where I sit in my desk in silence and do my work like I know it is supposed to get done, and still manage to get yelled at 4 or 5 times a day. One day he was belittling my husband saying he was dumb because he couldn't find a job after being laid off amongst other insults. Also he is very vague about everything. I have talked to him about that saying it is hard to determine what exactly it is he wants us to do. I asked that when he gives us documents to at least put a post it on it saying what exactly he wants us to do with it. Other employees here have thanked me for bringing that up. It worked for 2 days. Now when we ask him to clarify he yells and gets angry. However, when he makes a mistake, it's really no big deal at at all. All day long I am being yelled at and I am d*** good at my job and other people who work here have told me so including the owners. However, I can't talk to them about it because my boss is the main owner's best friend. I do a great job and bust my butt for this company. I come in on weekends and I work long hours to ensure everything gets done. All while constantly being ridiculed for not scanning a document straight enough or not getting a phone call returned fast enough (like within 5 minutes). I am given 10 things to do each day and they are all the main priority to get done first. So regardless I am yelled at for not doing 9 of those things first. And they are all completely different things. Last time I checked I am not a mind reader. I was hired to do a completely different job that I got my degree in. All I do now is push papers and get yelled at. My boss told me himself that he has no problem with the area of my job that I got my degree in but that I'm not good enough at the other part of my job. When in fact, I am great. For all of this, I make below 30k a year, no health benefits, nothing. It's very very frustrating. Thank you for letting me vent....I still want out of my job though.
 
And now he is reading resumes outloud to everyone in the office. He has asked me to show one of the guys how I do everything that I do. I am fairly sure I am being replaced...
 
Oh.my.goodness! SORRY! That certainly paints a much clearer picture. He sounds mentally unwell, honestly. The owners have no idea he behaves this way? If you are being replaced, then at least you can see it as a blessing. I don't know what else to tell you. I have never been in a situation like that before.
 
Yeah he is pretty nuts. I also am on call 24/7 it feels like since he feels free to text me about work all hours of the day.
 
I would document everything you possibly can. He is abusive, harassing, and at least in my organization he's breaking so many regulations that he would be canned for his behavior. If I remember right, he's the owner of the company? Regardless, still document everything. Then if/when he does let you go, you have a very strong legal case. It also protects you from being screwed out of unemployment if he tries to say you were insubordinate, etc.

Good luck, the guy sounds like he needs a serious dose of his own medicine. :nono:
 
tammy77 said:
I would document everything you possibly can. He is abusive, harassing, and at least in my organization he's breaking so many regulations that he would be canned for his behavior. If I remember right, he's the owner of the company? Regardless, still document everything. Then if/when he does let you go, you have a very strong legal case. It also protects you from being screwed out of unemployment if he tries to say you were insubordinate, etc.

Good luck, the guy sounds like he needs a serious dose of his own medicine. :nono:
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I don't really have money to take him to court if I lose my job unfortunately. He can't be fired, he's employed by his best friend. They are such good friends they bought houses next to each other. If I do lose my job, I will most likely go to the rival company and give them all the leads I have for them. Also, I am about 99% certain that most of their crews that work for them have illegal immigrants employed that they know about and I am sure the BBB would love to know about that. Maybe that makes me vindictive, but at this point I really don't care.
 
Oh, I also wanted to add. It sounds like he may be trying to push you over the edge, so that you will say something to justify him firing you -or- to force you to quit. Try your best to keep your cool. It's almost the weekend . . . .
 
Loves Vintage said:
Oh, I also wanted to add. It sounds like he may be trying to push you over the edge, so that you will say something to justify him firing you -or- to force you to quit. Try your best to keep your cool. It's almost the weekend . . . .
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Good point. I will be spending the entire weekend job hunting. Hopefully I can find something I can start on Monday.
 
RT - you may not be able to take him to court, but with proper documentation I'd think you could claim unemployment based on how he has treated you.
 
document, Document, DOCUMENT.

if he's a sicko at work, he'll try to get unemployed denied to you. with documentation you have a chance.

hope you find another job this weekend.

MoZo
 
IMO, if you need the money to survive, then stick it out there, and bust your bum trying to find something else.

Your other option is to sit down, figure out what you can cut from your expenses, and determine if it would allow you to leave you job currently, while searching for a new one.

We have all had to put up with horrible bosses... it is life. Fortunately, I was assigned a new manager after dealing with mine for a year (I would cry myself to sleep at least one night a week). Is requesting a change of group and option for you? I'm guessing not, since it is a small company?
 
All you can do is document the best you can and work your fanny off to find a new job. We've all been there. The key is to keep reminding yourself that he's unstable and not let him affect your sense of self/well being. He's NOT worth it. I hope that you find a new job asap and can tell him where to stick his job (and, after that, I'd write a letter to the owners about your experience...they can decide to take action or not)
 
As well as documenting everything in case you do get fired, i would also be voice recording his abusive rants to show to the owners. He shouldn't be allowed to get away with that.

There is a sony voice recorder that is pretty small and discreet. It has 12 hours or recordable space on it and the microphone is quite sensitive that it will pick up someone speaking from a few meters away. The speakers are also loud enough that you can play back from the voice recorder to listen to it. You wouldn't have to worry about transferring files to the computer (but you can do that too).

***Disclaimer***

I have no idea of what the legal ramifications of recording someone without their consent in the US is, I just wanted to give you another idea on how you could gather more evidence on this dirt bag, esp since there is a lot of verbal abuse happening.
 
Well the owners have heard him numerous times and done nothing so I'm not sure how much help that would be, sigh
 
ugh that bloody sucks - what an ass!!! Maybe you can just record him so you can play the tapes for your friends 5 years from now when you can laugh about the worst boss you've ever had...
 
random_thought said:
Well the owners have heard him numerous times and done nothing so I'm not sure how much help that would be, sigh
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That's terrible RT. I would tape him anyway, you never know, it could come in handy especially if you get fired for no good reason.

I hope you can find a new job fast.
 
taping w/o notification could land you in a LOT of trouble. if you don't have the $ for legal fees to fight this type of harrassment, you don't have the $ to fight the kind of legal action that could be brought against you for illegal taping.

MoZo
 
Oh wow, thank you for sharing that movie zombie!
 
um, talk to an attorney first, please. as my hubby just pointed out, its WIRETAPE law and an audio that was involved.....meaning phone in my hubby's interpretation. you might be in a world of hurt if he is right and you record anything other than phone conversation.

MoZo
 
RT - just wondered how the job search is going!
 
RT, I hope you've come up with some alternative! I read your posts with such recognition; was in a similar situation myself several years ago. I absolutely understand how debilitating it is to work in that sort of environment -- makes you tired & depressed constantly.

Eventually I walked out without notice. During my performance review when I was put on probation (and shouted at) for 1) being 10 minutes late when there was a blizzard & traffic at a standstill on the Merritt Pkwy; 2) getting a horrible case of flu at Christmas & being out for a week -- since it was a jewelry store, Christmas was my biggest earning period so flu was a catastrophe for MY bankbook while they had plenty of temps to take up the slack. I came back while I was still so sick my manager sent me home -- another thing they faulted, guess I should have asked a few days ahead if I could leave early when I "planned" being sick; 3) leaving early one afternoon when my dog sitter called to say my 2 dogs had had a huge fight & one was bleeding badly & needed to go to the vet, eventually had a bunch of stitches on face, neck & legs. Store director actually told me I should've asked days before for time off for that one -- I said next time I'll require them to inform me before they biff it out. Then I tore up the review sheet & left. The loss of my income meant we put the house on the market & moved away.

Before all that drama, I worked hard on ways to handle it. Did a lot of praying, for those who are into that (and this led me to it when I hadn't done much before) for serenity, wisdom, strength & patience. It does help. I also began making Gratitude Lists on my way to work every morning -- just thinking about the gifts I'd been given in my life: people, beautiful sights, wise advice whenever it had come, even living in a country where I wasn't afraid to get bombed on the way to the store. There is so much. I collected jokes.

Finally, the thing that kept me putting one foot in front of the other was the knowledge that NOTHING lasts forever & that the wonderful time would come, definitely, when that horrid place was nothing but a memory. I now look back on it with a shudder in one way, and as a valuable learning experience also. And I feel great pity for the director of that store, who could only have been a deeply unhappy woman.

So is your manager -- something is eating him & I'll bet he makes his family as miserable as he does you. Because he's miserable himself. One day you'll pity him and respect yourself for having made it through!

--- Laurie

P.S. I'd record his rants because you don't get a do-over. If before you use them, you check to be sure it's legal, they might be very important if you need to make a case for unemployment. If they are illegal, then you can throw them out.
 
RT, your additional posts plus a few others brought something to my mind.

You should definitely be looking very aggressively even if the market in your area is not robust. Get down and dirty with that job search. The reason is... if you try to stick it out, this sounds like such a horrible situation you may end up walking out one day. Not even wanting to stick around for 2 weeks notice, just saying PEACE OUT and walking out the door.

Which would leave you in another bad situation--out with no job, no reference, no nothing, which it sounds like would not be feasible for your economics. So I would say before it gets to that point--definitely be aggressive in your job search and maybe even consider other things you may not--just to get out of this situation and buy yourself some more time. Having been in a horrible work situ (not QUITE this bad but bad enough for me to quit)...I don't think anyone should have to take anything like yelling, belittling etc in a work situation, that is ridiculous and never warranted. If a boss thinks someone is that bad, put them on probation or write them up or fire them, but don't degrade and disrespect them.
 
movie zombie said:
um, talk to an attorney first, please. as my hubby just pointed out, its WIRETAPE law and an audio that was involved.....meaning phone in my hubby's interpretation. you might be in a world of hurt if he is right and you record anything other than phone conversation.

MoZo
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The way i read the second half of the article was that the mother, son and stepfather were all in the same room having a conversation about the mothers wishes after her death, so the son recorded a conversation where no phone was involved and the ruling was in favour of the son as he did not intend to do anything illegally with the tapes.

As long as you are not planning on black mailing him or doing anything else illegal you should be safe.
 
movie zombie said:
um, talk to an attorney first, please. as my hubby just pointed out, its WIRETAPE law and an audio that was involved.....meaning phone in my hubby's interpretation. you might be in a world of hurt if he is right and you record anything other than phone conversation.

MoZo
Click to expand...

The way i read the second half of the article was that the mother, son and stepfather were all in the same room having a conversation about the mothers wishes after her death, so the son recorded a conversation where no phone was involved and the ruling was in favour of the son as he did not intend to do anything illegally with the tapes.

As long as you are not planning on black mailing him or doing anything else illegal you 'should' be safe.
 
that's how i read it also.....but hubby took it the other way. to be safe i'd read up more on this AND talk with an attorney [can get free consults in some places] before i'd do it in the work situation.

MoZo
 
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